55

我讓安東尼奧陪我去參加莉拉的婚禮源祈，我讓他一直陪著我，要他和我說(shuō)話色迂，和我跳舞香缺。我非常害怕那一天的到來(lái)，感到一種徹底的撕裂歇僧，我希望有人一直支撐著我图张。

I also asked Antonio to go with me to

? Lila’s wedding, not to leave me alone, and maybe always to dance with me. I

? dreaded that day, I felt it as a definitive break, and I wanted someone there

? who would support me.

這樣的要求應(yīng)該讓他覺(jué)得很為難。莉拉給所有人都發(fā)了邀請(qǐng)，整個(gè)小區(qū)所有的媽媽和奶奶都在縫制新衣服祸轮，購(gòu)置帽子和小包兽埃，四處物色結(jié)婚禮物。我知道他們都在買杯子倔撞、盤子和刀叉讲仰。他們那么費(fèi)勁，并不是為了莉拉痪蝇，而是因?yàn)樗固胤仓Z鄙陡，他是一個(gè)好心的小伙子，允許人們?cè)谠碌捉Y(jié)賬躏啰。還有趁矾，對(duì)所有人來(lái)說(shuō)，婚禮都是一個(gè)不能丟臉的地方给僵，尤其是對(duì)于那些沒(méi)有男朋友的姑娘毫捣，這是一個(gè)機(jī)會(huì)，她們可以在婚禮上物色一個(gè)男朋友帝际，安置自己蔓同，在幾年之內(nèi)把自己嫁出去。

This request was to complicate life

? further. Lila had sent invitations to everyone. In the houses of the

? neighborhood the mothers, the grandmothers had been working for months to

? make dresses, to get hats and purses, to shop for a wedding present, I don’t

? know, a set of glasses, of plates, of silverware. It wasn’t so much for Lila

? that they made that effort; it was for Stefano, who was very decent, and

? allowed you to pay at the end of the month. But a wedding was, above all, an

? occasion where no one should make a bad showing, especially girls without

? fiancés, who there would have a chance of finding one and getting settled,

? marrying, in their turn, within a few years.

因?yàn)樯厦嬲f(shuō)的這些緣故蹲诀，我想讓安東尼奧一直陪著我斑粱。我沒(méi)有任何意圖對(duì)外正式宣布我們的關(guān)系——我們都很小心，一直都對(duì)外保密脯爪，但我想表現(xiàn)得迷人一些则北，這樣可以抑制我的焦慮。我想在那種情況下表現(xiàn)得規(guī)矩痕慢、安靜尚揣，戴著我的眼鏡，穿著我母親給我縫制的簡(jiǎn)單衣服和舊鞋子掖举。我應(yīng)該這么想：我擁有一個(gè)十六歲女孩子該擁有的一切快骗，我不需要任何東西、任何人塔次。

It was really for that last reason that I

? wanted Antonio to go with me. I had no intention of making the thing

? official—we were careful to keep our relationship absolutely hidden—but I

? wished to keep under control my anxiety about being attractive. I wanted,

? that day, to feel calm, tranquil, despite my glasses, the modest dress made

? by my mother, my old shoes, and at the same time think: I have everything a

? sixteenold girl should have, I don’t need anything or anyone.

但安東尼奧的理解并不是這樣滨巴，他愛(ài)我，他認(rèn)為我是他遇到的最大幸福俺叭。他經(jīng)常大聲問(wèn)我恭取，表面上看起來(lái)是想逗樂(lè)，實(shí)際上聲音里帶著一絲不安和緊張熄守，他問(wèn)我為什么會(huì)選擇他蜈垮，他說(shuō)自己很笨耗跛，連話都說(shuō)不清楚。實(shí)際上攒发，他迫不及待地想去我家里调塌，向我父母公開(kāi)我們之間的關(guān)系，所以我的這個(gè)要求讓他認(rèn)為：我決定和他走出這種地下關(guān)系惠猿。他借錢做了一套衣服羔砾，更不用說(shuō)買禮物也需要錢，還要給艾達(dá)和幾個(gè)弟弟妹妹買衣服偶妖，梅麗娜也要穿得體面姜凄。

But Antonio didn’t take it like that. He

? loved me, he considered me the luckiest thing that had ever happened to him.

? He often asked aloud, with a hint of anguish straining under an appearance of

? amusement, how in the world I had chosen him, who was stupid and couldn’t put

? two words together. In fact, he couldn’t wait to appear at my parents’ house

? and make our relationship official. And so at that request of mine he must

? have thought that I had finally decided to let him come out of hiding, and he

? went into debt to buy a suit, in addition to what he was spending for the

? wedding gift, clothes for Ada and the other children, a presentable

? appearance for Melina.

我一點(diǎn)都沒(méi)有察覺(jué)到這些，我還是一直埋頭學(xué)習(xí)趾访，有時(shí)候會(huì)在莉拉态秧、她小姑子和婆婆之間出現(xiàn)麻煩時(shí)去救急。我想著自己的小文章發(fā)表在雜志上的情景扼鞋，內(nèi)心充滿著期待申鱼，夾雜著甜美和不安。在內(nèi)心深處云头，我覺(jué)得自己的名字——埃萊娜·格雷科印到雜志上時(shí)捐友，自己才算真正活過(guò)，我對(duì)別的事都漫不經(jīng)心溃槐，一直期待著文章出版的那一天楚殿。我并沒(méi)讓安東尼奧注意到這一點(diǎn)，他現(xiàn)在想著他參加婚禮的衣服竿痰，他想要添一雙“賽魯羅”牌鞋子。他時(shí)不時(shí)會(huì)問(wèn)我：“你知不知道砌溺，鞋子做得怎么樣了影涉？”我回答他說(shuō)：“你問(wèn)問(wèn)里諾吧，莉娜什么都不知道规伐⌒非悖”

I didn’t notice anything. I struggled on,

? between school, the urgent consultations whenever things got tangled up

? between Lila and her sisterlaw and motherlaw, the pleasant nervousness about

? the article that I might see published at any time. I was secretly convinced

? that I would truly exist only at the moment when my signature, Elena Greco,

? appeared in print, and as I waited for that day I didn’t pay much attention

? to Antonio, who had got the idea of completing his wedding outfit with a pair

? of Cerullo shoes. Every so often he asked me, “Do you know what point they’ve

? reached?” I answered, “Ask Rino, Lila doesn’t know anything.”

事情的確如此。賽魯羅父子在十一月讓斯特凡諾去店里看鞋子猖闪，根本就沒(méi)有考慮過(guò)先讓莉拉看看鲜棠，盡管莉拉當(dāng)時(shí)還住在家里。斯特凡諾特意帶著未婚妻和妹妹皮諾奇婭去看了培慌，他們?nèi)齻€(gè)人穿的就像剛從電視屏幕里出來(lái)一樣豁陆。莉拉對(duì)我說(shuō)，她試了那些鞋子吵护，看到她前些年設(shè)計(jì)的鞋子做成了實(shí)物盒音，覺(jué)得異常激動(dòng)表鳍，就好像真有一位仙女實(shí)現(xiàn)了她的夢(mèng)想，那些鞋子就是她之前想象的樣子祥诽。皮諾奇婭也目瞪口呆譬圣，她試了試一雙喜歡的款式，對(duì)里諾說(shuō)了很多恭維的話雄坪，讓他覺(jué)得自己是一位真正的能工巧匠厘熟，能做出那么輕盈結(jié)實(shí)虾标、線條漂亮的鞋子鹦筹。唯一一個(gè)表現(xiàn)出不悅的人是斯特凡諾帖蔓。

It was true. In November the Cerullos? summoned Stefano without bothering to show the shoes to Lila first, even? though she was still living at home with them. Instead, Stefano showed up for? the occasion with his fiancée and Pinuccia, all three looking as if they had? emerged from the television screen. Lila told me that, on seeing the shoes? she had designed years earlier made real, she had felt a very violent? emotion, as if a fairy had appeared and fulfilled a wish. The shoes really? were as she had imagined them at the time. Even Pinuccia was amazed. She? wanted to try on a pair she liked and she complimented Rino effusively,? letting him understand that she considered him the true craftsman of those? masterpieces of sturdy lightness, of dissonant harmony. The only one who? seemed displeased was Stefano.?

他打斷了莉拉對(duì)哥哥恕刘、父親以及幾個(gè)學(xué)徒的熱情恭維箩艺，他讓皮諾奇婭閉嘴——皮諾奇婭正在用甜蜜的聲音恭維里諾裳擎，她抬起了一只腳的腳踝吁脱，向他展示那只鞋子是多么合腳尤溜。斯特凡諾開(kāi)始逐一按照款式批評(píng)那些鞋子和圖紙的出入谒亦。他尤其針對(duì)那雙男鞋竭宰，說(shuō)當(dāng)時(shí)里諾和莉拉瞞著費(fèi)爾南多偷偷做出來(lái)的那雙鞋和父子倆后來(lái)做出來(lái)的不一樣》菡校“這道邊是怎么回事兒切揭？這些針腳呢？這個(gè)金色扣子又是怎么回事兒锁摔？”他很不客氣地問(wèn)廓旬。盡管費(fèi)爾南多有理有據(jù)地說(shuō)明了那些修改的原因，說(shuō)這是為了掩蓋設(shè)計(jì)中出現(xiàn)的問(wèn)題谐腰，但斯特凡諾還是毫不讓步，說(shuō)他投了那么多錢十气，并不是為了隨便得到一雙鞋子励背，他要和莉拉設(shè)計(jì)的鞋一模一樣的款式。

He interrupted the warm greetings Lila

? was giving her father and brother and the workers, silenced the sugary voice

? of Pinuccia, who was congratulating Rino, raising an ankle to show him her

? extraordinarily shod foot, and, style after style, he criticized the

? modifications made to the original designs. He was especially persistent in

? the comparison between the man’s shoe as it had been made by Rino and Lila in

? secret from Fernando, and the same shoe as the father and son had refined it.

? “What’s this fringe, what are these stitches, what is this gilded pin?” he

? asked in annoyance. And no matter how Fernando explained all the

? modifications, for reasons of durability or to disguise some defect in the

? idea, Stefano was adamant. He said he had invested too much money to obtain

? ordinary shoes and not—precisely identical—Lila’s shoes.

氣氛非常僵砸西。莉拉的態(tài)度很柔和叶眉，她馬上站在了父親的一邊。她對(duì)未婚夫說(shuō)芹枷，不要管之前的圖紙了衅疙，她的設(shè)計(jì)只是小姑娘的奇思異想，而且那些改變不是很明顯鸳慈，但非常有必要饱溢。里諾卻站在斯特凡諾那邊，所以他們一直在爭(zhēng)論走芋，直到最后費(fèi)爾南多筋疲力盡理朋。他坐在一個(gè)角落里絮识，看著墻上的圖紙說(shuō)：

The tension was extreme. Lila gently? defended her father, she told her fiancé to let it go: her designs were the? fantasies of a child, and surely the modifications were necessary, and,? besides, were not so great. But Rino supported Stefano and the discussion? went on for a long time. It broke off only when Fernando, utterly worn out,? sat down in a corner and, looking at the pictures on the wall, said,?

“如果你在圣誕節(jié)前要這些鞋子，那就只能這樣了嗽上。如果你要和我女兒設(shè)計(jì)的一模一樣的鞋子次舌，你找別人去做吧∈薹撸”

“If you want the shoes for Christmas take

? them like that. If you want them exactly the way my daughter designed them,

? have someone else make them.”

這時(shí)候彼念，斯特凡諾做出了讓步，里諾也退了一步浅萧。圣誕節(jié)的時(shí)候逐沙，那些鞋子出現(xiàn)在了鋪?zhàn)拥臋淮袄铮瑱淮吧嫌妹扌踝龀慑缧茄b飾洼畅。我經(jīng)過(guò)那里吩案，看到那些鞋子非常優(yōu)雅精美，做工很好帝簇，看到這些鞋子徘郭，就讓人有一種富裕奢華的感覺(jué)。那些鞋子和鋪?zhàn)雍?jiǎn)陋的櫥窗丧肴、外面荒涼的景色残揉，以及鋪?zhàn)觾?nèi)部很不相稱。修鞋鋪里芋浮，到處都是皮革碎片抱环、工作臺(tái)、錐子纸巷、鞋模镇草，那些裝鞋子的盒子一直堆積到天花板，等著顧客來(lái)買瘤旨。盡管費(fèi)爾南多對(duì)那些鞋子做了修改梯啤，但那只是我們天真的夢(mèng)想，并沒(méi)有考慮到這個(gè)城區(qū)的現(xiàn)實(shí)裆站。

Stefano gave in, Rino, too, gave in.At

? Christmas the shoes appeared in the window, a window with the comet star made

? of cotton wool. I went by to see them: they were elegant objects, carefully

? finished: just to look at them gave an impression of wealth that did not

? accord with the humble shop window, with the desolate landscape outside, with

? the shop’s interior, all pieces of hide and leather and benches and awls and

? wooden forms and boxes of shoes piled up to the ceiling, waiting for

? customers. Even with Fernando’s modifications, they were the shoes of our

? childish dreams, not invented for the reality of the neighborhood.

實(shí)際上，一直到圣誕節(jié)黔夭，那些鞋一雙都沒(méi)有賣出去宏胯。只有安東尼奧出現(xiàn)在店里，讓里諾給他了一雙四十四碼的鞋本姥，他試了試肩袍。后來(lái)，他跟我說(shuō)了那雙鞋子穿在腳上的感覺(jué)：非常合腳婚惫，他想象著和我一起出現(xiàn)在婚禮上氛赐，身上穿著新做的衣服魂爪，腳上穿著那雙鞋子，但最后他沒(méi)有買艰管。

In fact at Christmas not a single pair

? sold. Only Antonio appeared, asked Rino for a 44, tried it. Later he told me

? the pleasure he had had in feeling so well shod, imagining himself with me at

? the wedding, in his new suit, with those shoes on his feet.

當(dāng)他問(wèn)那雙鞋子多少錢時(shí)滓侍，里諾說(shuō)了價(jià)格。他目瞪口呆地回答說(shuō)：“你瘋了牲芋？”里諾對(duì)他說(shuō)：“你可以月供「灼郑”他笑著回答說(shuō)：“那我還不如去買輛蘭美達(dá)踏板摩托呢夕冲。”

?But when he asked the price and Rino told? him, he was dumbstruck: “Are you crazy?” and when Rino said, “I’ll sell them? to you on a monthly installment,” he responded, laughing, “Then I’ll buy a? Lambretta.”

56

那時(shí)候裂逐，莉拉非常專注于婚禮的籌備歹鱼，她沒(méi)有覺(jué)察到哥哥的變化。之前里諾很愉快卜高，盡管干活非常辛苦弥姻，但他也愛(ài)開(kāi)玩笑，現(xiàn)在的他變得很陰郁篙悯，睡不好覺(jué)蚁阳，動(dòng)不動(dòng)就發(fā)火。有時(shí)候里諾發(fā)火鸽照，莉拉為了袒護(hù)哥哥螺捐，就對(duì)皮諾奇婭說(shuō)：“他心情多變，一不稱心就耍小性子矮燎，沒(méi)有耐心定血，真像個(gè)孩子！”莉拉和費(fèi)爾南多全然不覺(jué)得诞外，圣誕節(jié)沒(méi)有賣出去一雙鞋是一種失敗澜沟。最終來(lái)說(shuō)，做這些鞋并沒(méi)按照一個(gè)非常具體可行的計(jì)劃峡谊，一切都產(chǎn)生于斯特凡諾的一時(shí)興起茫虽，想看到莉拉的幻想變成具體的實(shí)物。他們的產(chǎn)品有單鞋既们，也有棉鞋濒析，一年四季的鞋子都有，這是件好事啥纸。在賽魯羅的鋪?zhàn)永锖判樱咨暮凶佣逊e起來(lái)了，里面有各種款式的鞋子斯棒，只要等著冬天盾致、春天主经、秋天，這些鞋子會(huì)賣出去的庭惜。

At the moment Lila, taken up by the

? wedding, didn’t realize that her brother, until then cheerful, playful, even

? though he was exhausted by work, was becoming depressed again, sleeping

? badly, flying into a rage for no reason. “He’s like a child,” she said to

? Pinuccia, as if to apologize for some of his outbursts, “his mood changes

? according to whether his whims are satisfied immediately or not, he doesn’t

? know how to wait.” She, like Fernando, did not feel in the least that the

? failure of the shoes to sell at Christmas was a fiasco. After all, the

? production of the shoes had not followed any plan: they had originated in

? Stefano’s wish to see Lila’s purest caprice made concrete, there were heavy

? ones, light ones, spanning most of the seasons. And this was an advantage. In

? the white boxes piled up in the Cerullos’ shop was a considerable assortment.

? They had only to wait, and in winter, in spring, in autumn the shoes would

? sell.

但里諾越來(lái)越不安了罩驻。圣誕節(jié)之后，里諾自己采取了行動(dòng)蜈块，他跑到了大路盡頭的一家積滿灰塵的鞋店鉴腻。盡管他知道，那家鞋店的老板和索拉拉兄弟手足相連百揭，里諾對(duì)老板說(shuō)他想在櫥窗里展示幾雙“賽魯羅”鞋爽哎，不用押錢，就是看看有沒(méi)有人要器一。那個(gè)老板很客氣地拒絕了他课锌，他說(shuō)那些鞋不適合他的客戶群。他馬上惱了祈秕，兩人對(duì)罵起來(lái)渺贤，搞得整個(gè)城區(qū)的人都知道了。費(fèi)爾南多對(duì)兒子發(fā)火请毛，里諾回嘴了志鞍。莉拉又感覺(jué)到，哥哥讓人心煩意亂方仿，表現(xiàn)出讓她害怕的破壞性力量固棚。他們四人一起出去時(shí)，她注意到仙蚜，哥哥故意讓她和皮諾奇婭走在前面此洲，他和斯特凡諾走在后面進(jìn)行交談。一般情況下委粉，肉食店老板都會(huì)耐心地聽(tīng)他說(shuō)呜师。有一次，莉拉聽(tīng)見(jiàn)她未婚夫說(shuō)：

But Rino was increasingly agitated. After

? Christmas, on his own initiative, he went to the owner of the dusty shoe

? store at the end of the stradone and, although he knew the man was bound hand

? and foot to the Solaras, proposed that he display some of the Cerullo shoes,

? without obligation, just to see how they went. The man said no politely, that

? product was not suitable for his customers. Rino took offense and an exchange

? of vulgarities followed, which became known in the whole neighborhood.

? Fernando was furious with his son, Rino insulted him, and Lila again

? experienced her brother as an element of disorder, a manifestation of the

? destructive forces that had frightened her. When the four of them went out,

? she noticed with apprehension that her brother maneuvered to let her and

? Pinuccia go on ahead while he stayed behind to talk to Stefano. In general

? the grocer listened to him without showing signs of irritation. Only once

? Lila heard him say:

“對(duì)不起贾节，里諾汁汗。你覺(jué)得，我在作坊里投了那么多錢栗涂，那個(gè)鋪?zhàn)雍?jiǎn)直就像個(gè)無(wú)底洞知牌，只是出于對(duì)你妹妹的愛(ài)？鞋子我們已經(jīng)做好了戴差，而且很漂亮送爸，我們現(xiàn)在要把它們賣出去铛嘱，問(wèn)題是要找到合適的市場(chǎng)暖释∠В”

“Excuse me, Rino, do you think I put so

? much money in the shoe store like that, without any security, just for love

? of your sister? We have the shoes, they’re beautiful, we have to sell them.

? The problem is to find the right place.”

那句“只是出于對(duì)你妹妹的愛(ài)”讓她很不悅，但她沒(méi)有理會(huì)球匕，因?yàn)槟蔷湓拰?duì)里諾起了很好的效果纹磺，他平靜下來(lái)了，開(kāi)始扮演起了銷售專家的角色亮曹，尤其是在皮諾奇婭面前橄杨。他說(shuō)需要把眼光放得高遠(yuǎn)一些，為什么很多很好的創(chuàng)舉最后都失敗了呢照卦？為什么格萊西奧的汽車修理店放棄生產(chǎn)輕型摩托了呢式矫？為什么縫紉用品店老板娘的新裁縫店只堅(jiān)持了六個(gè)月呢？因?yàn)檫@些企業(yè)都沒(méi)什么創(chuàng)意役耕〔勺“賽魯羅”鞋很快就會(huì)走出這個(gè)破城區(qū)，會(huì)在富人的城區(qū)獲得成功瞬痘。

That “just for love of your sister”

? didn’t please her. But she let it go, because the words had a good effect on

? Rino, who calmed down and began to talk, in particular to Pinuccia, about

? strategies for selling the shoes. He said they had to think on a grand scale.

? Why did so many good initiatives fail? Why had the Gorresio auto repair shop

? given up motorbikes? Why had the dressmaker in the dry goods store lasted

? only six months? Because they were undertakings that lacked breadth. The

? Cerullo shoes, instead, would as soon as possible leave the local market and

? become popular in the wealthier neighborhoods.

結(jié)婚的日子越來(lái)越近了故慈。莉拉去婚紗店里試衣服，最后裝點(diǎn)一下未來(lái)的家框全。她和皮諾奇婭察绷、瑪麗亞做斗爭(zhēng)，她們母女除了干涉所有事情津辩，也不能容忍農(nóng)齊亞插手婚禮的準(zhǔn)備拆撼。臨近三月十二日，她們之間的關(guān)系變得越來(lái)越緊張丹泉，但并不是這些矛盾使雙方關(guān)系產(chǎn)生了裂縫情萤。當(dāng)時(shí)接連發(fā)生了兩件事情深深地傷害了莉拉。

Meanwhile the date of the wedding

? approached. Lila hurried to fittings for her wedding dress, gave the final

? touches to her future home, fought with Pinuccia and Maria, who, among many

? things, were intolerant of Nunzia’s intrusions. The situation was increasingly

? tense. But the damaging attacks came from elsewhere. There were two events in

? particular, one after the other, that wounded Lila deeply.

二月的一個(gè)寒冷的下午摹恨，莉拉忽然問(wèn)我能不能陪伴她去奧利維耶羅老師家里筋岛。她從來(lái)都沒(méi)有對(duì)奧利維耶羅老師表現(xiàn)出一丁點(diǎn)興趣和情感，也沒(méi)有任何感激之情晒哄，現(xiàn)在她感覺(jué)有必要親自把結(jié)婚請(qǐng)?zhí)瓦^(guò)去睁宰。過(guò)去，我從來(lái)都沒(méi)對(duì)她說(shuō)過(guò)老師在提到她時(shí)的鄙夷語(yǔ)氣寝凌。在當(dāng)時(shí)的情況下柒傻，我也沒(méi)辦法對(duì)她提這個(gè)，加上那段時(shí)間较木，奧利維耶羅老師好像沒(méi)那么刻薄了红符，她變得有些憂傷，沒(méi)準(zhǔn)她會(huì)欣然接受莉拉的邀請(qǐng)呢。

One cold afternoon in February she asked

? me out of the blue if I could come with her to see Maestra Oliviero. She had

? never displayed any interest in her, no affection, no gratitude. Now, though,

? she felt the need to bring her the invitation in person. Since in the past I

? had never reported to her the hostile tones that the teacher had often used

? about her, it didn’t seem to me right to tell her then, especially since the

? teacher had recently seemed less aggressive, more melancholy: maybe she would

? welcome her kindly.

莉拉那天穿得非吃ず睿考究致开，我們一起走到老師居住的樓下，距離教堂沒(méi)幾步遠(yuǎn)的地方萎馅。我們上樓時(shí)双戳，我覺(jué)察到她非常不安。我已經(jīng)習(xí)慣于走那段路糜芳、那些樓梯飒货，但是她不習(xí)慣，她一句話也沒(méi)有說(shuō)峭竣。我摁了門鈴塘辅，隨后聽(tīng)到奧利維耶羅老師有些拖沓的腳步聲。

Lila dressed with extreme care. We walked

? to the building where the teacher lived, near the parish church. As we

? climbed the stairs, I realized that she was nervous. I was used to that

? journey, to those stairs; she wasn’t, and didn’t say a word. I rang the bell,

? I heard the teacher’s dragging steps.

“誰(shuí)敖粤谩莫辨？”

“Who is it?”

“格雷科∫惴茫”

“Greco.”

她打開(kāi)了門沮榜，肩膀上有一條紫色的披肩，她半張臉都包在圍巾里喻粹。莉拉馬上微笑著說(shuō)：“老師蟆融，您記不記得我？”

She opened the door. Over her shoulders

? she wore a purple shawl and half her face was wrapped in a scarf. Lila smiled

? and said, “Maestra, do you remember me?”

奧利維耶羅老師盯著她看守呜，就好像在小學(xué)時(shí)莉拉惹她心煩時(shí)的眼神型酥。最后，奧利維耶羅老師對(duì)著我查乒，嘴里好像含著什么東西似的弥喉，她很艱難地說(shuō)：

The teacher stared at her as she used to

? do in school when Lila was annoying, then she turned to me, speaking with

? difficulty, as if she had something in her mouth.

“這誰(shuí)啊玛迄？我不認(rèn)識(shí)她由境。”

“Who is it? I don’t know her.”

莉拉有些慌亂蓖议，她馬上用意大利語(yǔ)說(shuō)：“我是賽魯羅虏杰，我是來(lái)給您送請(qǐng)?zhí)模乙Y(jié)婚了勒虾。如果您能來(lái)參加我的婚禮纺阔，我會(huì)非常榮幸⌒奕唬”

Lila was confused and said quickly, in

? Italian, “I’m Cerullo. I’ve brought you an invitation, I’m getting married.

? And I would be so happy if you would come to my wedding.”

老師對(duì)著我說(shuō)：“賽魯羅我是認(rèn)識(shí)的笛钝，但這個(gè)人我不知道她是誰(shuí)质况。”

The teacher turned to me, said: “I know

? Cerullo, I don’t know who this girl is.”

她當(dāng)著我們的面把門關(guān)上了玻靡。

She closed the door in our faces.

我們?cè)跇翘萜脚_(tái)那里待了一會(huì)兒拯杠，我拉著她的手，試圖安慰她啃奴。她把手縮了回去，把那張請(qǐng)?zhí)麖拈T下面塞了進(jìn)去雄妥，我們走下樓去最蕾。一路上，她都在說(shuō)市政府還有教堂的手續(xù)有多麻煩老厌，說(shuō)我父親對(duì)她的幫助很大瘟则。

We stood without moving on the landing

? for some moments, then I touched her hand to comfort her. She withdrew it,

? stuck the invitation under the door, and started down the stairs. On the

? street she began talking about all the bureaucratic problems at the city hall

? and the parish, and how helpful my father had been.

另一件讓莉拉傷心的事，也許是傷她更深的事枝秤，是關(guān)于斯特凡諾和鞋子的事情醋拧。他們從開(kāi)始就決定，證婚人由瑪麗亞的一個(gè)親戚來(lái)?yè)?dān)任淀弹，這位親戚在戰(zhàn)后就遷到佛羅倫薩去生活了丹壕，現(xiàn)在經(jīng)營(yíng)著自己的小生意，主要是買賣一些來(lái)自不同地方的古董薇溃，尤其是金屬制品菌赖。他和一個(gè)佛羅倫薩女人結(jié)了婚，說(shuō)話口音都變了沐序，因?yàn)樗f(shuō)話的腔調(diào)琉用，他在家里享有一定的威望，他也是斯特凡諾的堅(jiān)信禮教父策幼。事情本來(lái)都已經(jīng)定好了邑时，但是斯特凡諾卻忽然間改變了主意。

The other sorrow, perhaps more profound,

? came, surprisingly, from Stefano and the business of the shoes. He had long

? since decided that the role of speech master would be entrusted to a relative

? of Maria’s who had emigrated to Florence after the war and had set up a small

? trade in old things of varied provenance, especially metal objects. This

? relative had married a Florentine woman and had taken on the local accent.

? Because of his cadences he enjoyed in the family a certain prestige, and also

? for that reason had been Stefano’s confirmation sponsor. But, abruptly, the

? bridegroom changed his mind.

莉拉跟我說(shuō)起這件事情時(shí)特姐，開(kāi)始的時(shí)候晶丘，就好像這和最近一段時(shí)間的其他煩人事一樣，對(duì)于她來(lái)說(shuō)唐含，誰(shuí)當(dāng)證婚人都可以，她都不在意，最主要的是要做決定凿叠。但有幾天誊稚，斯特凡諾一直閃爍其詞爷贫，前言不搭后語(yǔ)岩瘦，她一直不知道是誰(shuí)替換了佛羅倫薩的那對(duì)夫婦握爷。最后，距離婚禮還有一個(gè)星期的時(shí)間茶鉴，她發(fā)現(xiàn)了真相舀瓢。斯特凡諾通知她，這件事情定好了揽涮，不容更改烹困，他沒(méi)有說(shuō)明理由玄妈，只告訴她證婚人是西爾維奧·索拉拉——馬爾切洛和米凱萊的父親。

At first, Lila spoke as if it were a sign

? of last-minute nervousness. For her, it was completely indifferent who the

? speech master was, the important thing was to decide. But for several days

? Stefano gave her only vague, confused answers, and she couldn’t understand

? who was to replace the Florentine couple. Then, less than a week before the

? wedding, the truth came out. Stefano told her, as a thing done, without any

? explanation, that the speech master would be Silvio Solara, the father of

? Marcello and Michele.

在這之前髓梅，莉拉從來(lái)都沒(méi)有想到過(guò)拟蜻，馬爾切洛·索拉拉會(huì)作為他們的遠(yuǎn)親來(lái)參加婚禮。有幾天時(shí)間枯饿，她又變回了我熟悉的那個(gè)小姑娘酝锅。她對(duì)斯特凡諾惡語(yǔ)相向，出口很粗俗奢方，她說(shuō)她再也不想見(jiàn)到他搔扁。她把自己關(guān)在父母家里，不再管任何事情蟋字，甚至不再去最后一次試婚紗稿蹲，不做任何和迫在眉睫的婚禮相干的事情。

Lila, who until that moment hadn’t

? considered the possibility that even a distant relative of Marcello Solara

? might be present at her wedding, became again the girl I knew very well. She

? insulted Stefano grossly, she said she didn’t want to ever see him again. She

? shut herself up in her parents’ house, stopped concerning herself with

? anything, didn’t go to the last fitting of the dress, did absolutely nothing

? that had to do with the imminent wedding.

全家人都輪番去勸她鹊奖，先是她母親——農(nóng)齊亞很悲痛苛聘，說(shuō)她要為家里著想。然后是費(fèi)爾南多忠聚，他有些結(jié)巴地說(shuō)设哗，她再也不能像一個(gè)不懂事的小女孩一樣了：任何一個(gè)想要在城區(qū)立足的人，都要讓西爾維奧·索拉拉當(dāng)教父两蟀。最后是里諾熬拒，他非常粗暴地跟她說(shuō)，說(shuō)她嫁給一個(gè)商人垫竞，商人就是只認(rèn)錢澎粟，索拉拉家就像一個(gè)銀行，尤其是一個(gè)把“賽魯羅”鞋和鞋店聯(lián)系起來(lái)的渠道欢瞪』罾樱“你想干什么？”他眼睛里充滿了血絲遣鼓，對(duì)妹妹吼叫著啸盏，“你要把我、全家人骑祟，還有我們到目前為止的辛勞都?xì)У魡峄嘏常俊敝笃希瓦B皮諾奇婭也來(lái)了，她用一種假惺惺的語(yǔ)氣說(shuō)怯晕，將來(lái)她結(jié)婚時(shí)潜圃，也會(huì)很樂(lè)意讓佛羅倫薩的古董商人來(lái)做證婚人，但要好好想想舟茶，不能因?yàn)檫@樣一件小事讓婚禮泡湯谭期、抹殺一場(chǎng)愛(ài)情。

The procession of relatives began. First

? came her mother, Nunzia, who spoke to her desperately about the good of the

? family. Then Fernando arrived, gruff, and told her not to be a child: for

? anyone who wanted to have a future in the neighborhood, to have Silvio Solara

? as speech master was obligatory. Finally Rino came, and, in an aggressive

? tone of voice, and with the air of a businessman who is interested only in

? profit, explained to her how things stood: Solara the father was like a bank

? and, above all, was the channel by which the Cerullo shoe styles could be

? placed in shops. “What are you doing?” he shouted at her with puffy,

? bloodshot eyes. “You want to ruin me and the whole family and all the work

? we’ve done up to now?” Right afterward even Pinuccia appeared, and said to

? her, in a somewhat artificial tone of voice, how pleased she, too, would have

? been to have the metal merchant from Florence as the speech master, but you

? had to be reasonable, you couldn’t cancel a wedding and eradicate a love for

? a matter of such little importance.

就這樣過(guò)了一天一夜吧凉，農(nóng)齊亞待在角落里一動(dòng)不動(dòng)隧出，不做家務(wù)，也不去睡覺(jué)阀捅。最后她從家里偷偷溜了出來(lái)找我胀瞪，讓我勸勸她女兒，說(shuō)句好話饲鄙。我覺(jué)得很有面子凄诞，我想了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，考慮該支持誰(shuí)傍妒。這涉及的是一場(chǎng)婚禮幔摸，一件非常實(shí)際的事情摸柄，非常復(fù)雜颤练，牽扯了很多情感和利益。我很害怕驱负，那時(shí)候雖然我可以當(dāng)眾批判“圣靈”嗦玖，挑戰(zhàn)宗教老師的權(quán)威，但假如我處于莉拉的位子跃脊，我絕對(duì)沒(méi)有勇氣讓一切都泡湯宇挫。但她就可以，她有勇氣那么做酪术，盡管婚禮眼看就要舉行了器瘪。怎么辦呢？我感覺(jué)只要一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)力氣绘雁，就可以把她推向那條路橡疼。結(jié)果會(huì)讓我很滿意：讓莉拉再次變回那個(gè)臉色蒼白的姑娘，扎著馬尾辮庐舟，像猛禽一樣瞇著的眼睛欣除，身上穿著幾件不值錢的衣裳，讓她再也沒(méi)有那種氣勢(shì)像杰奎琳·肯尼迪一樣出現(xiàn)在城區(qū)挪略。

A day and a night passed. Nunzia sat

? mutely in a corner without moving, without caring for the house, without

? sleeping. Then she slipped out in secret from her daughter and came to summon

? me, to speak to Lila, to put in a word. I was flattered, I thought for a long

? time which side to take. There was at stake a wedding, a practical, highly

? complex thing, crammed with affections and interests. I was frightened. I

? knew that, although I could argue publicly with the Holy Spirit, challenging

? the authority of the professor of religion, if I were in Lila’s place I would

? never have the courage to throw it all away. But she, yes, she would be

? capable of it, even though the wedding was about to be celebrated. What to

? do? I felt that it would take very little for me to urge her along that path,

? and that to work for that conclusion would give me great pleasure. Inside, it

? was what I truly wanted: to bring her back to pale, ponytailed Lila, with the

? narrowed eyes of a bird of prey, in her tattered dress. No more of those

? airs, that acting like the Jacqueline Kennedy of the neighborhood.

但無(wú)論是于我還是于她历帚，我都覺(jué)得這是一種不得體的做法滔岳。我相信，為了她好挽牢，我不想讓她再回到賽魯羅家黯淡的房子里谱煤。因此我打定主意，我一次又一次卓研，小心翼翼地說(shuō)服她：“莉拉趴俘，西爾維奧·索拉拉不是馬爾切洛，也不是米凱萊奏赘。你現(xiàn)在這樣鬧不好寥闪，你比我更清楚。你也知道磨淌，不是西爾維奧·索拉拉把艾達(dá)拉到車?yán)锏钠１铮膊皇撬谛履暌估锍覀冮_(kāi)槍的，不是他一直賴在你家里梁只，也不是他說(shuō)了你的壞話缚柳。西爾維奧做證婚人，他會(huì)幫助里諾和斯特凡諾銷售那些鞋搪锣，事情很簡(jiǎn)單秋忙，他不會(huì)對(duì)你未來(lái)的生活造成任何影響」怪郏”我把我們了解的事情統(tǒng)統(tǒng)說(shuō)了一遍灰追，我按照先后順序先說(shuō)了上一代的事情，然后是我們這一代的事狗超，說(shuō)明我們是多么不同弹澎，尤其說(shuō)她和斯特凡諾是多么不同。最后這段話吸引了她努咐，讓她的態(tài)度有些松動(dòng)苦蒿，我說(shuō)得更帶勁了。她靜靜地聽(tīng)我說(shuō)話渗稍，很明顯佩迟，她想讓我?guī)椭謴?fù)平靜，她慢慢平靜下來(lái)了竿屹。我從她的眼睛里可以看出來(lái)报强，斯特凡諾的做法向她展示出了他的另一面、讓她無(wú)法認(rèn)清的一面羔沙，她覺(jué)得這比里諾的瘋狂還要可怕躺涝。最后，她對(duì)我說(shuō)：

But, unfortunately for her and for me, it

? seemed a small-minded act. Thinking it would be for her good, I would not

? restore her to the bleakness of the Cerullo house, and so a single idea

? became fixed in my mind and all I could do was tell her over and over again,

? with gentle persuasion: Silvio Solara, Lila, isn’t Marcello, or even Michele;

? it’s wrong to confuse them, you know better than I do, you’ve said it

? yourself on other occasions. He’s not the one who pulled Ada into the car,

? he’s not the one who shot at us the night of New Year’s, he’s not the one who

? forced his way into your house, he’s not the one who said vulgar things about

? you; Silvio will be the speech master and will help Rino and Stefano sell the

? shoes, that’s all—he’ll have no importance in your future life. I reshuffled

? the cards that by now we knew well enough. I spoke of the before and the

? after, of the old generation and of ours, of how we were different, of how

? she and Stefano were different. And this last argument made a breach, seduced

? her, I returned to it passionately. She listened to me in silence, evidently

? she wanted to be helped to compose herself, and slowly she did. But I read in

? her eyes that that move of Stefano’s had shown her something about him that

? she still couldn’t see clearly and that just for that reason frightened her

? even more than the ravings of Rino. She said to me:

“可能，他不是真的愛(ài)我坚嗜『话颍”

“Maybe it’s not true that he loves me.”

“什么他不愛(ài)你？你說(shuō)什么他就做什么苍蔬∮战ǎ”

“What do you mean he doesn’t love you? He

? does everything you tell him to.”

“那是沒(méi)有危及到他真正的利益〉螅”她用一種非常鄙夷的語(yǔ)氣談到了斯特凡諾·卡拉奇俺猿，那是之前從來(lái)沒(méi)有過(guò)的事情。

“Only when I don’t put real money at

? risk,” she said in a tone of contempt that I had never heard her use for

? Stefano Carracci.

最后格仲，她終于又出門了押袍。她不去肉食店，也不去新房子那里凯肋，總之谊惭，她不是事先妥協(xié)的那個(gè)人。她等著斯特凡諾對(duì)她說(shuō)：“謝謝你的諒解侮东，我很愛(ài)你圈盔。你知道，有些事情我們不得不那么做悄雅∏茫”只有在這時(shí)候，她才讓斯特凡諾摟著她的肩膀宽闲，親吻了她的脖子众眨，但她忽然轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)身去，看著他的眼睛便锨，對(duì)他說(shuō)：“我的婚禮围辙，絕對(duì)不能讓馬爾切洛·索拉拉出現(xiàn)我碟》虐福”

In any case she returned to the world.

? She didn’t appear in the grocery, she didn’t go to the new house, in other

? words she was not the one who would seek to reconcile. She waited for Stefano

? to say to her: “Thank you, I love you dearly, you know there are things one

? is obliged to do.” Only then did she let him come up behind her and kiss her

? on the neck. But then she turned suddenly and looking him straight in the

? eyes said to him, “Marcello Solara must absolutely not set foot in my

? wedding.”

“我應(yīng)該怎么辦？”

“How can I prevent it?”

“我不知道矫俺，但你要向我發(fā)誓吱殉。”

“I don’t know, but you must swear to me.”

他嘆了一口氣厘托，笑著對(duì)她說(shuō)：“好吧友雳，莉娜，我向你發(fā)誓铅匹⊙荷蓿”

He snorted and said smiling, “All right,

? Lina, I swear.”

57

三月十二日到了，春天已經(jīng)來(lái)了包斑，天氣很暖和流礁。莉拉希望我早點(diǎn)去她家涕俗，幫她洗澡、梳頭神帅、穿衣打扮再姑。她把母親打發(fā)走了，我們倆單獨(dú)在一起找御。她坐在床邊上元镀，身上只穿著內(nèi)褲和文胸。她身邊放著的婚紗看起來(lái)像具女尸霎桅。在她前面栖疑，六角形木塊拼接的地板上有一只銅盆，里面裝滿了霧氣騰騰的熱水滔驶。她忽然問(wèn)我：“你覺(jué)得蔽挠，我是不是做錯(cuò)了？”

March 12th arrived, a mild day that was

? almost like spring. Lila wanted me to come early to her old house, so that I

? could help her wash, do her hair, dress. She sent her mother away, we were

? alone. She sat on the edge of the bed in underpants and bra. Next to her was

? the wedding dress, which looked like the body of a dead woman; in front of

? us, on the hexagonal-tiled floor, was the copper tub full of boiling water.

? She asked me abruptly: “Do you think I’m making a mistake?”

“什么事兒瓜浸？”

“How?”

“結(jié)婚澳淑。”

“By getting married.”

“你還在想著證婚人的事插佛？”

“Are you still thinking about the speech

? master?”

“沒(méi)有杠巡，我想的是我們的小學(xué)老師。她為什么不讓我進(jìn)她家門雇寇？”

“No, I’m thinking of the teacher. Why

? didn’t she want me to come in?”

“因?yàn)樗且粋€(gè)脾氣古怪的老太太氢拥。”

“Because she’s a mean old lady.”

她沉默了一會(huì)兒锨侯，盯著水盆里亮閃閃的水嫩海，然后說(shuō)：“無(wú)論發(fā)生什么事情，你都要繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)囚痴∪郑”

She was silent for a while, staring at

? the water that sparkled in the tub, then she said, “Whatever happens, you’ll

? go on studying.”

“還有兩年，拿到高中畢業(yè)證我就學(xué)完了深滚∞忍罚”

“Two more years: then I’ll get my diploma

? and I’m done.”

“不，永遠(yuǎn)都學(xué)不完痴荐，我給你錢血柳，你要一直學(xué)下去∩祝”

“No, don’t ever stop: I’ll give you the

? money, you should keep studying.”

我很不安地笑了一下难捌，說(shuō)：“謝謝。到了一定程度，就沒(méi)學(xué)可上了根吁±バ冢”

I gave a nervous laugh, then said,

? “Thanks, but at a certain point school is over.”

“但你不一樣，你是我的天才朋友婴栽，你應(yīng)該比任何人都要厲害满粗，無(wú)論是男生還是女生∮拚”

“Not for you: you’re my brilliant friend,

? you have to be the best of all, boys and girls.”

她站起身映皆，脫掉內(nèi)褲和文胸說(shuō)：“幫幫我，否則要晚了轰枝⊥背梗”

She got up, took off her underpants and

? bra, said, “Come on, help me, otherwise I’ll be late.”

我從來(lái)都沒(méi)看到過(guò)她全裸的樣子，這讓我有些難為情“霸桑現(xiàn)在看來(lái)步淹，當(dāng)時(shí)我的尷尬是因?yàn)樽约罕凰昝赖纳眢w所吸引，我見(jiàn)證了她十六歲時(shí)的美麗诚撵，因?yàn)樵趲仔r(shí)之后缭裆，斯特凡諾就會(huì)撫摸她、進(jìn)入她寿烟、改變她澈驼，可能會(huì)讓她懷孕。當(dāng)時(shí)筛武，我只感覺(jué)自己思緒紛飛缝其，雖然不是很情愿，但我在做一件必須做的事情徘六。在當(dāng)時(shí)特定的環(huán)境下内边，我不能把目光投向別處，無(wú)法把手拿開(kāi)待锈，因?yàn)槲覔?dān)心她會(huì)覺(jué)察到我的不安漠其。如果我打退堂鼓，那她會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我的心緒不寧炉擅，因而打破她那平靜辉懒、單純的狀態(tài)阳惹。我不能讓她看出我內(nèi)心的波濤洶涌谍失，所以不得不留下來(lái)幫她洗澡。我的目光落在了她男孩子般的肩膀上莹汤，落在她堅(jiān)實(shí)的乳房快鱼、窄窄的胯部、堅(jiān)挺的臀部、漆黑的隱私部位抹竹、修長(zhǎng)的雙腿线罕、線條優(yōu)美的膝蓋和腳踝，以及優(yōu)雅的雙腳上窃判。我假裝若無(wú)其事钞楼，因?yàn)橐磺卸紕?shì)在必行，在那間破舊陰暗的小房間里袄琳，四周是破爛家具询件，地上是濺了水漬、坑坑洼洼的舊地板唆樊，我心潮澎湃宛琅，熱血沸騰。

I had never seen her naked, I was

? embarrassed. Today I can say that it was the embarrassment of gazing with

? pleasure at her body, of being the not impartial witness of her sixteenold’s

? beauty a few hours before Stefano touched her, penetrated her, disfigured

? her, perhaps, by making her pregnant. At the time it was just a tumultuous

? sensation of necessary awkwardness, a state in which you cannot avert the

? gaze or take away the hand without recognizing your own turmoil, without, by

? that retreat, declaring it, hence without coming into conflict with the

? undisturbed innocence of the one who is the cause of the turmoil, without

? expressing by that rejection the violent emotion that overwhelms you, so that

? it forces you to stay, to rest your gaze on the childish shoulders, on the

? breasts and stiffly cold nipples, on the narrow hips and the tense buttocks,

? on the black sex, on the long legs, on the tender knees, on the curved

? ankles, on the elegant feet; and to act as if it’s nothing, when instead

? everything is there, present, in the poor dim room, amid the worn furniture,

? on the uneven, water-stained floor, and your heart is agitated, your veins

? inflamed.

我非常緩慢逗旁、仔細(xì)地給她洗澡嘿辟。我先讓她坐在水盆里，很輕柔地給她擦洗片效，然后讓她站起來(lái)红伦，我的耳朵里現(xiàn)在還回響著水滴落下的聲音，我還記得當(dāng)時(shí)的感覺(jué)：銅盆的手感和莉拉的皮膚給我的感覺(jué)一樣淀衣，都那么光滑色建、堅(jiān)實(shí)、平靜舌缤。

I washed her with slow, careful gestures,? first letting her squat in the tub, then asking her to stand up: I still have? in my ears the sound of the dripping water, and the impression that the? copper of the tub had a consistency not different from Lila’s flesh, which? was smooth, solid, calm.?

我滿腦子混亂的想法：擁抱她箕戳，和她一起哭泣，吻著她国撵，拽著她的頭發(fā)陵吸，一起大笑，假裝很有性經(jīng)驗(yàn)介牙，高調(diào)地教育她壮虫，在最親密的時(shí)候推開(kāi)她。但最后环础，唯一一個(gè)揮之不去的想法是：在大清早囚似，我從頭到腳把她清洗干凈，晚上斯特凡諾會(huì)把她徹底玷污线得。我想象著饶唤，她像這個(gè)時(shí)候一樣，光著身子被她丈夫緊緊抱著贯钩，在他們新家的床上募狂，火車從他們家窗戶下面開(kāi)過(guò)办素，發(fā)出鏗鏘的聲音，他很粗暴地進(jìn)入她祸穷，非常干脆性穿，就像酒瓶的木塞子進(jìn)入瓶頸一樣。我忽然覺(jué)得雷滚，唯一可以對(duì)抗我感受到的需曾，或者我可能會(huì)感受到的痛苦的辦法，就是找一個(gè)非常僻靜的地方祈远，讓安東尼奧在同一時(shí)刻對(duì)我做同樣的事情胯舷。

I had a confusion of feelings and

? thoughts: embrace her, weep with her, kiss her, pull her hair, laugh, pretend

? to sexual experience and instruct her in a learned voice, distancing her with

? words just at the moment of greatest closeness. But in the end there was only

? the hostile thought that I was washing her, from her hair to the soles of her

? feet, early in the morning, just so that Stefano could sully her in the

? course of the night. I imagined her naked as she was at that moment, entwined

? with her husband, in the bed in the new house, while the train clattered

? under their windows and his violent flesh entered her with a sharp blow, like

? the cork pushed by the palm into the neck of a wine bottle. And it suddenly

? seemed to me that the only remedy against the pain I was feeling, that I

? would feel, was to find a corner secluded enough so that Antonio could do to

? me, at the same time, the exact same thing.

我?guī)退粮缮眢w，幫她穿好內(nèi)衣和婚紗绊含。帶著一種混雜著自豪和難過(guò)的心情桑嘶，我想著：這婚紗是我為她選的」洌婚紗在她的身上變得鮮活逃顶，白色的布料包裹著她的熱度，映襯著她的紅唇充甚，還有那雙黑色的以政、炯炯有神的眼睛。最后伴找，她穿上自己設(shè)計(jì)的鞋子盈蛮，那是里諾要求她穿的，她不穿的話，她哥哥會(huì)覺(jué)得那是一種背叛。她選了一雙鞋跟不是很高的鞋任洞，這樣就可以避免比斯特凡諾高出太多。她拉起了裙裾袒炉，看了一眼鏡子。

I helped her dry off, dress, put on the

? wedding dress that I—I, I thought with a mixture of pride and suffering—had

? chosen for her. The fabric became living, over its whiteness ran Lila’s heat,

? the red of her mouth, her hard black eyes. Finally she put on the shoes that

? she herself had designed. Pressed by Rino, who if she hadn’t worn them would

? have felt a kind of betrayal, she had chosen a pair with low heels, to avoid

? seeming too much taller than Stefano. She looked at herself in the mirror,

? lifting the dress slightly.

“這雙鞋太丑了樊零∥掖牛”她說(shuō)。

“They’re ugly,” she said.

“才不丑呢驻襟《峒瑁”

“It’s not true.”

她笑得有些僵硬。

She laughed nervously.

“是很丑沉衣，你看郁副！你腦子里的夢(mèng)想，現(xiàn)在被踩在了腳下厢蒜∠际疲”

“But yes, look: the mind’s dreams have

? ended up under the feet.”

她忽然轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)臉來(lái)烹植，滿臉驚恐地問(wèn)：

She turned with a sudden expression of

? fear.

“萊諾斑鸦，我身上會(huì)發(fā)生什么愕贡？”

“What’s going to happen to me, Lenù?”

58

費(fèi)爾南多和農(nóng)齊亞已經(jīng)在廚房里等了我們很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間了。他們?cè)缇蜏?zhǔn)備好了巷屿，我從來(lái)沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)他們收拾得那么用心固以。那時(shí)候，莉拉的父母嘱巾、我的父母憨琳，以及所有人的父母，在我看來(lái)都很老旬昭。我覺(jué)得他們和祖父祖母篙螟、外公外婆都沒(méi)有太大差別。在我眼里问拘，他們都背負(fù)著一種冷冰冰的生活遍略，他們的生活和我、莉拉骤坐、斯特凡諾绪杏、安東尼奧還有帕斯卡萊的生活沒(méi)有共同之處。我們這些人完全沉浸在自己的激情里纽绍，充滿思想蕾久，熱情洋溢。在我寫下這些文字時(shí)拌夏，我才想到：費(fèi)爾南多那時(shí)候應(yīng)該不到四十五歲僧著，農(nóng)齊亞應(yīng)該比他年輕一些。那天早上障簿，他們一起在廚房等著霹抛，他穿著白襯衣、黑西裝卷谈，長(zhǎng)得像美國(guó)演員蘭道夫·斯科特杯拐，農(nóng)齊亞穿著一身天藍(lán)色的衣服，頭上戴著一頂天藍(lán)色的帽子世蔗，一張藍(lán)色的面紗端逼，他們都看起來(lái)很體面。我的父母也一樣污淋，我清楚記得他們那時(shí)的年齡：我父親三十九歲顶滩，我母親三十五歲。在教堂里寸爆，我長(zhǎng)時(shí)間地看著他們礁鲁，感覺(jué)很苦惱盐欺，因?yàn)樵谀翘欤以趯W(xué)校的優(yōu)異成績(jī)根本就不能安慰他們仅醇；相反冗美，他們——尤其是我母親——覺(jué)得我上學(xué)是白費(fèi)時(shí)間，是沒(méi)用的析二。莉拉穿著那件光潔耀眼的婚紗粉洼，在一道輕紗后面，她光彩照人叶摄，她挽著鞋匠的胳膊向圣家教堂走去属韧，在那里和斯特凡諾會(huì)合。斯特凡諾那天也英氣逼人蛤吓，他站在擺滿鮮花的祭臺(tái)上——花匠提供的鮮花可真充分宵喂。我的母親——盡管她的斜眼好像在看別的地方，其實(shí)是看著我——讓我覺(jué)得壓力很大会傲，讓我覺(jué)得自己戴著眼鏡锅棕，不受人關(guān)注，而我的壞朋友卻找到了一個(gè)有錢的丈夫唆铐，擁有家族企業(yè)還有一套屬于自己的房子哲戚，房子里有大浴缸、電冰箱艾岂，還有電視和電話顺少。

In the kitchen, waiting impatiently for

? us, were Fernando and Nunzia. I had never seen them so well dressed and

? groomed. At that time Lila’s parents, mine—all parents—seemed to me old. I

? didn’t make much of a distinction between them and my grandparents, maternal

? and paternal, creatures who in my eyes all led a sort of cold life, an

? existence that had nothing in common with mine, with Lila’s, Stefano’s,

? Antonio’s, Pasquale’s. It was we who were truly consumed by the heat of

? feelings, by the outburst of thoughts. Only now, as I write, do I realize

? that Fernando at that time couldn’t have been more than fortynine, my mother

? thirtydecked altar—lucky the florist who had provided such abundance—my

? mother, even if her wandering eye seemed to gaze elsewhere, looked at me to

? make me regret that I was there, in my glasses, far from the center of the

? scene, while my bad friend had acquired a wealthy husband, economic security

? for her family, a house of her own, not rented but bought, with a bathtub, a

? refrigerator, a television, and a telephone.

婚禮儀式非常漫長(zhǎng)，主持的神父很啰嗦王浴，沒(méi)完沒(méi)了脆炎。在教堂里，新郎的親戚朋友都聚在一起氓辣，站在一邊秒裕，新娘的親戚朋友站在另一邊。攝影師不停地在照相钞啸，閃光燈几蜻、反光板很耀眼，一個(gè)年輕的助理在旁邊攝像体斩，錄下那些重要的環(huán)節(jié)梭稚。

The ceremony was long, the priest drew it

? out for an eternity. Coming into the church the relatives and friends of the

? bridegroom had all sat together on one side, the relatives and friends of the

? bride on the other. Throughout the ceremony the photographer kept

? shooting—flash, spotlights—while his young assistant filmed the important

? moments.

安東尼奧一直坐在我旁邊，他穿著在裁縫那里定做的衣服絮吵。他讓妹妹艾達(dá)照顧母親弧烤，艾達(dá)非常不耐煩，因?yàn)樽鳛樾吕傻娜馐车晔圬泦T蹬敲，她本可以待在另一個(gè)位置暇昂，但她不得不待在梅麗娜身邊看護(hù)著她莺戒，和幾個(gè)弟弟妹妹待在一起。安東尼奧有一兩次在我耳邊低聲說(shuō)了些什么急波，但我沒(méi)有回答他从铲。他的任務(wù)就是待在我身邊，但不要表現(xiàn)得那么親密幔崖，免得別人說(shuō)閑話食店。我的目光掠過(guò)擁擠的教堂渣淤，我看到人們都有些不耐煩了赏寇，都像我一樣在四處張望〖廴希空氣中彌漫著鮮花的香氣嗅定，還有新衣服的味道用踩。吉耀拉非常美碎乃，卡梅拉·佩盧索也非常漂亮梗掰。那些小伙子也不遜色。恩佐，尤其是帕斯卡萊禾锤，穿得很闊氣，好像要顯示在祭臺(tái)上供嚎，他們要比斯特凡諾還要體面黄娘、更配得上莉拉。

Antonio sat devotedly next to? me, in his new tailor-made suit, leaving to Ada—who was really annoyed? because, as the clerk in the bridegroom’s grocery store, she might have? aspired to a better place—the job of sitting at the back next to Melina and? keeping an eye on her, along with the younger children. Once or twice he? whispered something in my ear, but I didn’t answer. He was supposed simply to? sit next to me, without showing a particular intimacy, to avoid gossip. I let? my eyes wander through the crowded church, people were bored and, like me,? kept looking around. There was an intense fragrance of flowers, a smell of? new clothes. Gigliola looked pretty, and so did Carmela Peluso. And the boys? were their equal. Enzo and especially Pasquale seemed to want to demonstrate? that there, at the altar, next to Lila, they would have made a better showing? than Stefano.?

泥瓦匠帕斯卡萊和賣水果蔬菜的恩佐站在教堂最后面克滴，就像兩個(gè)哨兵一樣逼争，在確保婚禮的順利舉辦劝赔。里諾呢誓焦，作為新娘的哥哥，他打破了規(guī)矩着帽，沒(méi)有和新娘的親戚待在一起杂伟，而是待在皮諾奇婭身邊，和新郎的親戚朋友在一起仍翰。他身上也穿著一套全新的衣服赫粥，腳上穿著“賽魯羅”鞋子，亮锃锃的予借，很氣派越平，頭發(fā)也油光可鑒。很明顯蕾羊，所有接到邀請(qǐng)的人都來(lái)參加婚禮了喧笔，都穿得很體面。就我所知龟再，花費(fèi)不是小數(shù)目书闸，這也是當(dāng)時(shí)大家有目共睹的。首先是坐在我旁邊的安東尼奧——他的衣服應(yīng)該是借錢做的利凑。我看到了西爾維奧·索拉拉浆劲，他體格強(qiáng)壯，穿著黑色的衣服哀澈，站在新郎旁邊牌借，手腕上金光閃閃。我看到了他的妻子曼努埃拉割按，她穿金戴銀膨报，一身粉色的衣服，站在新娘身邊。大家用來(lái)裝扮的錢现柠，都是從索拉拉夫婦那里借的院领，堂·阿奇勒死了之后，整個(gè)城區(qū)的人要借錢够吩，他們都要找這個(gè)男人——他的臉是青紫色的比然，藍(lán)色眼睛，鬢角很禿周循；還有那個(gè)消瘦的女人强法，她鼻子很長(zhǎng)，嘴唇很蓖宓选（說(shuō)得更具體一點(diǎn)饮怯，是曼努埃拉在進(jìn)行具體的操作，她有一個(gè)紅皮的登記本迄本，上面寫著借錢的數(shù)目硕淑、到期的時(shí)間课竣，那是大家都熟知嘉赎、害怕的賬本）。莉拉的婚禮于樟，不僅僅對(duì)于花店老板公条、攝影師是一樁好事，對(duì)于這對(duì)夫婦來(lái)說(shuō)迂曲，尤其是一件好事靶橱，除了放債之外，他們還供應(yīng)了蛋糕和喜糖路捧。

As for Rino, while the

? construction worker and the fruit and vegetable seller stood at the back of

? the church, like sentinels for the success of the ceremony, he, the brother

? of the bride, breaking the order of family ranks, had gone to sit next to

? Pinuccia, on the side of the bridegroom’s relatives, and he, too, was perfect

? in his new suit, Cerullo shoes on his feet, as shiny as his brilliantined

? hair. What a display! It was clear that no one who had received an invitation

? wanted to miss it, and they came dressed like grand ladies and gentlemen,

? something that, as far as I knew, as far as everyone knew, meant that not a

? few—perhaps first of all Antonio, who was sitting next to me—had had to

? borrow money. Then I looked at Silvio Solara, a large man in a dark suit,

? standing next to the bridegroom, with a lot of gold glittering on his wrists.

? I looked at his wife, Manuela, dressed in pink, and loaded down with jewels,

? who stood beside the bride. The money for the display came from them. With

? Don Achille dead, it was that man with his purple complexion and blue eyes,

? bald at the temples, and that lean woman, with a long nose and thin lips, who

? lent money to the whole neighborhood (or, to be precise, Manuela managed the

? practical side: famous and feared was the ledger book with the red cover in

? which she put down figures, due dates). Lila’s wedding was an affair not only

? for the florist, not only for the photographer, but, above all, for that

? couple, who had also provided the cake, and the favors.

我發(fā)現(xiàn)关霸，莉拉從來(lái)都不用正眼瞧他們。她也不看斯特凡諾杰扫，只是盯著神父队寇。我想，從背后來(lái)看章姓，他們不是很登對(duì)佳遣。莉拉個(gè)子很高，斯特凡諾沒(méi)莉拉高凡伊；莉拉光芒四射零渐，引人注目，但他好像一個(gè)黯淡的小人兒系忙；莉拉非常專注诵盼，就好像要努力搞清楚那個(gè)儀式的深層含義，而斯特凡諾時(shí)不時(shí)轉(zhuǎn)身看著他母親，或者對(duì)西爾維奧·索拉拉微笑一下风宁，輕輕撓一下腦袋耕腾。我忽然非常擔(dān)心，斯特凡諾本質(zhì)上是不是和他表現(xiàn)出來(lái)的不一樣杀糯？但出于兩個(gè)原因我沒(méi)有細(xì)想：首先扫俺，新娘新郎兩個(gè)人都非常堅(jiān)決干脆地說(shuō)了“我愿意”。他們都表現(xiàn)得很激動(dòng)固翰，他們交換了戒指狼纬，接吻。莉拉真的結(jié)婚了骂际，我必須接受這個(gè)事實(shí)疗琉；還有一個(gè)原因就是，我不再關(guān)注新郎新娘歉铝，我忽然發(fā)現(xiàn)自己看到了所有人盈简，唯獨(dú)沒(méi)看到阿方索，我用目光在新郎和新娘的親戚隊(duì)伍里搜尋他太示，最后我看到他在教堂最后面柠贤、在一根柱子后面。我給他做了個(gè)手勢(shì)类缤，他看到我臼勉，就向我走了過(guò)來(lái)，身后跟著盛裝的瑪麗莎·薩拉托雷餐弱，很快尼諾也出現(xiàn)了宴霸，他又瘦又高，手放在口袋里膏蚓，頭發(fā)亂蓬蓬的瓢谢，身上穿著上學(xué)時(shí)穿的衣服。

Lila, I realized, never looked at them.

? She didn’t even turn toward Stefano, she stared only at the priest. I thought

? that, seen like that, from behind, they were not a handsome couple. Lila was

? taller, he shorter. Lila gave off an energy that couldn’t be ignored, he

? seemed a faded little man. Lila seemed extremely absorbed, as if she were

? obliged to understand fully what that ritual truly signified, he instead

? turned every so often toward his mother or exchanged a smile with Silvio

? Solara or scratched his head. At one point I was seized by anxiety. I

? thought: and if Stefano really isn’t what he seems? But I didn’t follow that

? thought to the end for two reasons. First of all, the bride and groom said

? yes clearly, decisively, amid the general commotion: they exchanged rings,

? they kissed, I had to understand that Lila was really married. And then

? suddenly I stopped paying attention to the bride and groom. I realized that I

? had seen everyone except Alfonso, I looked for him among the relatives of the

? bridegroom, among those of the bride, and found him at the back of the

? church, almost hidden by a pillar. But behind him appeared in full splendor

? Marisa Sarratore. And right behind her, lanky, disheveled, hands in his

? pockets, in the rumpled jacket and pants he wore to school, was Nino.

59

一群人簇?fù)碓谛履镄吕缮磉呁郧疲麄儚慕烫美锍鋈ッタ福瑯?lè)隊(duì)吹奏著音樂(lè)，攝影師的閃光燈伴隨著他們剧董。莉拉和斯特凡諾停在了教堂前面的空地上幢尚，親戚朋友圍過(guò)來(lái)吻他們，擁抱他們翅楼。周圍還有亂糟糟的汽車尉剩、焦急等待著的親友，還有其他人——盡管沒(méi)有血緣關(guān)系毅臊，但他們更重要理茎，更受尊敬，他們穿戴更闊氣，那些太太戴著樣式奇特的帽子皂林。那些重要客人很快坐上汽車朗鸠，被拉到了賀拉斯街上的餐館。

There was a confused crowding around the

? newlyweds, who came out of the church accompanied by the vibrant sounds of

? the organ, the flashes of the photographer. Lila and Stefano stood in the

? church square amid kisses, embraces, the chaos of the cars and the

? nervousness of the relatives who were left waiting, while others, not even

? blood relations—but perhaps more important, more loved, more richly dressed,

? ladies with especially elegant hats?—were loaded immediately into cars and

? driven to Via Orazio, to the restaurant.

阿方索的穿戴可真周正按”丁烛占！我從來(lái)都沒(méi)見(jiàn)過(guò)他穿深色西裝、白襯衣沟启，打著領(lǐng)帶的樣子忆家，這和平時(shí)他在學(xué)校的樸素著裝，還有在肉食店里穿著白大褂的樣子完全不同德迹。他那時(shí)候十六歲了芽卿，我覺(jué)得他看起來(lái)比實(shí)際年齡要大，好像忽然間胳搞，他的身體發(fā)育得和他哥哥斯特凡諾完全不一樣了卸例。他更高更瘦，我覺(jué)得他長(zhǎng)得像那時(shí)我在電視上看到的一個(gè)西班牙芭蕾舞演員：眼睛很大肌毅，嘴唇很厚實(shí)筷转，還沒(méi)有一絲胡子。很明顯芽腾，瑪麗莎一下?lián)糁辛怂能浝叩┳埃麄兊年P(guān)系更進(jìn)了一步，在我不知道的情況下摊滔，他們應(yīng)該已經(jīng)見(jiàn)過(guò)面了。盡管阿方索非常關(guān)注我店乐，但他還是被瑪麗莎波浪一樣的長(zhǎng)發(fā)艰躺、被她的能言善語(yǔ)征服了嗎？他那么害羞眨八，她的善談能填滿他們對(duì)話的空白嗎腺兴？他們倆在一起了嗎？這一點(diǎn)我表示懷疑廉侧，如果在一起了页响，那阿方索會(huì)告訴我的。但很明顯段誊，他們的關(guān)系發(fā)展到了一定程度闰蚕，以至于阿方索邀請(qǐng)她來(lái)參加哥哥的婚禮。而她呢连舍，為了獲得父母的準(zhǔn)許没陡，把尼諾也強(qiáng)行拉來(lái)了。

Alfonso was all dressed up. I had never

? seen him in a dark suit, white shirt, tie. Outside of his modest school

? clothes, outside of the grocery apron, he seemed to me not only older than

? his sixteen years but suddenly—I thought—physically different from his

? brother Stefano. He was taller now, slender, and was handsome, like a Spanish

? dancer I had seen on television, with large eyes, full lips, still no trace

? of a beard. Marisa had evidently stuck with him, their relationship had

? developed, they must have been seeing each other without my realizing it. Had

? Alfonso, however devoted to me, been won over by Marisa’s curls and her

? unstoppable chatter, which exempted him, who was so shy, from filling the

? gaps in conversation? Were they together officially? I doubted it, he would

? have told me. But things were clearly going well, since he had invited her to

? his brother’s wedding. And she, surely in order to get her parents’

? permission, had dragged Nino along.

現(xiàn)在他們都在那里，在教堂門口的空地上盼玄。尼諾·薩拉托雷身上穿著皺巴巴的衣服贴彼，個(gè)子太高，太瘦埃儿，頭發(fā)太長(zhǎng)太亂器仗，他手放在褲子口袋里，與周圍的環(huán)境格格不入童番，一臉不知所措的樣子青灼，他也像其他人一樣看著新娘新郎，但沒(méi)表現(xiàn)出任何興趣妓盲，那只是因?yàn)樗恢涝摽词裁丛硬ΑＫ某霈F(xiàn)出乎我的意料，讓我非趁醭模慌亂弹沽。我們?cè)诮烫美锵嗷ゴ蛄藗€(gè)招呼，很小聲筋粗〔唛伲“嗨！”“嗨娜亿！”尼諾打完招呼后丽已，就和他妹妹還有阿方索待在一起。安東尼奧緊緊拉著我的一條胳膊买决，但我很快擺脫了他沛婴。最后我和艾達(dá)、梅麗娜督赤、帕斯卡萊嘁灯、卡梅拉，還有恩佐待在一起躲舌。在亂糟糟的人群中丑婿，新娘新郎坐上了一輛白色的寬敞汽車，他們和攝影師還有他的助理一起離開(kāi)去紀(jì)念公園照相没卸。我忽然擔(dān)心安東尼奧的母親認(rèn)出尼諾羹奉，她可能會(huì)從他臉上的輪廓看到多納托的影子，但這種擔(dān)心是多余的约计。莉拉的母親農(nóng)齊亞把瘋瘋癲癲的梅麗娜拉到自己身邊诀拭，她和艾達(dá)，還有幾個(gè)小孩子上了一輛汽車一起走了病蛉。

So there he was, in the church square,

? the young Sarratore, completely out of place in his shabby old clothes, too

? tall, too thin, hair too long and uncombed, hands sunk too deep in the

? pockets of his trousers, wearing the expression of one who doesn’t know what

? to do with himself, his eyes on the newlyweds like everyone else’s, but

? without interest, only to rest them somewhere. That unexpected presence added

? greatly to the emotional disorder of the day. We greeted each other in the

? church, a whisper and that was it, hello, hello. Nino had followed his sister

? and Alfonso, I had been grabbed firmly by the arm by Antonio and, although I

? immediately freed myself, had still ended up in the company of Ada, Melina,

? Pasquale, Carmela, Enzo. Now, in the uproar, while the newlyweds got into a

? big white car with the photographer and his assistant, to go and have

? pictures taken at the Parco della Rimembranza, I became anxious that

? Antonio’s mother would recognize Nino, that she would read in his face some

? feature of Donato’s. It was a needless worry. Lila’s mother, Nunzia, led that

? addled woman, along with Ada and the smaller children, to a car and they

? drove away.

實(shí)際上炫加，沒(méi)人認(rèn)出尼諾來(lái)瑰煎，就連吉耀拉都沒(méi)認(rèn)出他來(lái)，卡梅拉俗孝、恩佐也沒(méi)認(rèn)出來(lái)酒甸。他們也沒(méi)發(fā)現(xiàn)瑪麗莎，盡管她還保留了一些孩童時(shí)期的特征赋铝，沒(méi)有人注意到薩拉托雷兄妹插勤。這時(shí)候，安東尼奧把我推到帕斯卡萊的老汽車上革骨，我們和卡梅拉還有恩佐坐在一起农尖。我一個(gè)勁兒地問(wèn)：“我父母在哪兒呢？希望有人能照顧他們良哲∈⒖ǎ”恩佐回答說(shuō)，他看到他們已經(jīng)上了一輛車筑凫，總之我找不到別的借口留下决侈，我們出發(fā)了惫叛。尼諾還是滿臉茫然地站在教堂門口，阿方索和瑪麗莎說(shuō)話务荆，我只來(lái)得及瞥他們一眼返劲，車就開(kāi)走了试吁。

In fact no one recognized Nino, not even

? Gigliola, not even Carmela, not even Enzo. Nor did they notice Marisa,

? although her features still resembled those of the girl she had been. The two

? Sarratores, for the moment, passed completely unobserved. And meanwhile

? Antonio was pushing me toward Pasquale’s old car, and Carmela and Enzo got in

? with us, and we were about to leave, and all I could say was, “Where are my

? parents? I hope someone is taking care of them.” Enzo said that he had seen

? them in some car, and so there was nothing to do, we left, and I barely had

? time to glance at Nino, standing in the church square, in a daze, while

? Alfonso and Marisa were talking to each other. Then I lost him.

我變得很焦慮儡率，安東尼奧對(duì)我的情緒變化很敏感疮跑，他在我耳邊輕聲問(wèn)：“你怎么了？”

I became nervous. Antonio, sensitive to

? my every change of mood, whispered, “What is it?”

“沒(méi)事丸边〉兀”

“Nothing.”

“什么事讓你不舒服了？”

“Did something upset you?”

“沒(méi)事原环∧铀簦”

“No.”

卡梅拉笑著說(shuō)：“她看到莉娜結(jié)婚了，也想結(jié)婚了嘱吗，不耐煩了√霞荩”

Carmela laughed. “She’s annoyed that Lina

? is married and she’d like to get married, too.”

“難道你不想結(jié)婚嗎谒麦？”恩佐問(wèn)。

“Why, wouldn’t you like to?” Enzo asked.

“我啊哆致，如果可以绕德，我明天結(jié)婚都行√В”

“If it were up to me, I’d get married

? tomorrow.”

“和誰(shuí)俺苌摺踪蹬？”

“Who to?”

“我知道和誰(shuí)！”

“I know who.”

“閉嘴臣咖！”帕斯卡萊說(shuō)跃捣，“沒(méi)人會(huì)娶你《嵘撸”

“Shut up,” Pasquale said, “no one would

? have you.”

我們向海邊駛?cè)ゾ纹幔了箍ㄈR車開(kāi)得很猛，安東尼奧把他的車子改裝了刁赦，他開(kāi)起來(lái)像開(kāi)跑車一樣娶聘。汽車轟鳴著一路飛奔，全然不顧路上坑坑洼洼甚脉，非常顛簸丸升。他很快就趕上了他前面的車子，又迅速超過(guò)它們牺氨，好像要撞上一樣狡耻，在撞上之前馬上剎車，迅速打方向盤超過(guò)那些車子波闹。我們幾個(gè)女孩子發(fā)出驚恐的叫喊酝豪，非常生氣地讓他小心點(diǎn)，他笑了起來(lái)精堕，更加囂張了孵淘。安東尼奧和恩佐連眼睛眨都不眨一下，他們會(huì)說(shuō)幾句惡毒的話歹篓，罵那些開(kāi)得很慢的人瘫证，他們把車窗搖了下來(lái)，當(dāng)帕斯卡萊超車時(shí)庄撮，他們會(huì)喊幾句臟話背捌。

We went down toward the Marina, Pasquale

? was a ferocious driver. Antonio had fixed up the car for him so that it drove

? like a race car. He sped along, making a racket and ignoring the jolts caused

? by the bumpy streets. He would speed toward the cars ahead of him as if he

? wanted to go through them, stop a few inches before hitting them, turn the

? wheel abruptly, pass. We girls cried out in terror or uttered indignant

? instructions that made him laugh and inspired him to do still worse. Antonio

? and Enzo didn’t blink, at most they made vulgar comments about the slow

? drivers, lowered the windows, and, as Pasquale sped past, shouted insults.

在開(kāi)向賀拉斯街的那段路上，我開(kāi)始明顯地感覺(jué)到洞斯，自己和其他人格格不入毡庆，這讓我很不開(kāi)心。我和那些孩子一起長(zhǎng)大烙如，我覺(jué)得他們的做法非常正常么抗，他們充滿暴力的語(yǔ)言也屬于我的世界，但我的日常生活卻走上了另外一條道路亚铁。已經(jīng)有六年了蝇刀，我所經(jīng)歷的生活是他們所不了解的，我在這條道路上一帆風(fēng)順徘溢，所向無(wú)敵吞琐。和他們?cè)谝黄鹄μ剑移綍r(shí)學(xué)的東西一點(diǎn)也用不上，我必須克制自己站粟、降低我自己來(lái)適應(yīng)他們黍图。學(xué)校的那些事情，我不得不放在括號(hào)里卒蘸，有時(shí)候拿出來(lái)震懾他們一下雌隅。在那輛車?yán)铮蚁胛业降自诟墒裁锤孜郑寇嚴(yán)锸俏业呐笥亚∑穑?dāng)然還有我的男朋友，我們正要去參加莉拉的婚宴趾牧，但正是那場(chǎng)婚宴检盼，使莉拉——唯一一個(gè)我感覺(jué)和我有共同語(yǔ)言的人，雖然我們的生活全然不同——不再屬于我們翘单。沒(méi)有她吨枉，我和這些年輕人之間的聯(lián)系，我和這輛奔馳的汽車之間的聯(lián)系都消失了哄芜。我為什么沒(méi)和阿方索在一起貌亭？我知道，我和他的情況一樣认臊，我們都會(huì)逃離這里圃庭。特別是，我為什么沒(méi)有停下來(lái)失晴，讓尼諾留下來(lái)參加婚宴剧腻，問(wèn)他那本刊登了我的文章的雜志什么時(shí)候出來(lái)，和他交談涂屁，創(chuàng)造一個(gè)空間书在，讓自己遠(yuǎn)離帕斯卡萊的開(kāi)車方式，遠(yuǎn)離他的粗俗拆又，遠(yuǎn)離卡梅拉和恩佐的粗魯?shù)难哉勅逖约鞍矕|尼奧的庸俗和暴戾。

It was during that journey to Via Orazio

? that I began to be made unhappy by my own alienness. I had grown up with

? those boys, I considered their behavior normal, their violent language was

? mine. But for six years now I had also been following daily a path that they

? were completely ignorant of and in the end I had confronted it brilliantly.

? With them I couldn’t use any of what I learned every day, I had to suppress

? myself, in some way diminish myself. What I was in school I was there obliged

? to put aside or use treacherously, to intimidate them. I asked myself what I

? was doing in that car. They were my friends, of course, my boyfriend was

? there, we were going to Lila’s wedding celebration. But that very celebration

? confirmed that Lila, the only person I still felt was essential even though

? our lives had diverged, no longer belonged to us and, without her, every

? intermediary between me and those youths, that car racing through the

? streets, was gone. Why then wasn’t I with Alfonso, with whom I shared both

? origin and flight? Why, above all, hadn’t I stopped to say to Nino, Stay,

? come to the reception, tell me when the magazine with my article’s coming

? out, let’s talk, let’s dig ourselves a cave that can protect us from

? Pasquale’s driving, from his vulgarity, from the violent tones of Carmela and

? Enzo, and also—yes, also—of Antonio?

60

我們是最先一批到達(dá)餐廳的年輕人帖族，這讓我的心情更加惡劣义矛。西爾維奧和曼努埃拉·索拉拉已經(jīng)和佛羅倫薩來(lái)的古董商夫婦坐在一起，斯特凡諾的母親也到了盟萨。莉拉的父母和其他親戚一起坐在一張長(zhǎng)桌前，我的父母了讨、梅麗娜捻激、艾達(dá)和他們?cè)谝黄鹬坪洹０_(dá)一看見(jiàn)安東尼奧，就憤怒地對(duì)著他招手胞谭。樂(lè)隊(duì)也在做準(zhǔn)備垃杖，幾個(gè)樂(lè)手在試樂(lè)器，歌手在試麥克風(fēng)丈屹。我們有些尷尬地轉(zhuǎn)悠调俘，不知道應(yīng)該坐在哪里，我們中間沒(méi)人有勇氣問(wèn)服務(wù)員旺垒，安東尼奧緊緊挨著我彩库，想逗我樂(lè)。

We were the first young people to enter

? the reception room. My bad mood got worse. Silvio and Manuela Solara were

? already at their table, along with the metal merchant, his Florentine wife,

? Stefano’s mother. Lila’s parents were also at a long table with other

? relatives, my parents, Melina, Ada, who was furious and greeted Antonio

? angrily. The band was taking its place, the musicians tuning their

? instruments, the singer at the microphone. We wandered around embarrassed. We

? didn’t know where to sit, none of us dared ask the waiters, Antonio clung to

? me, trying to divert me.

我母親叫我先蒋，我假裝沒(méi)有聽(tīng)到骇钦。她又叫了我?guī)茁暎疫€是沒(méi)有回答竞漾。這時(shí)候眯搭，她站起來(lái)一瘸一拐地走向我。她想讓我坐在她旁邊业岁，我拒絕了鳞仙。她惡狠狠地說(shuō)：“為什么梅麗娜的兒子一直圍著你轉(zhuǎn)？”

My mother called me, I pretended not to

? hear. She called me again and I didn’t answer. Then she got up, came over to

? me with her limping gait. She wanted me to sit next to her. I refused. She

? whispered, “Why is Melina’s son always around you?”

“媽笔时，沒(méi)人圍著我轉(zhuǎn)棍好。”

“No one is around me, Ma.”

“你以為我是傻子昂觥梳玫？”

“Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“不是∮矣蹋”

“No.”

“你過(guò)來(lái)坐在我身邊提澎。”

“Come and sit next to me.”

“不念链！”

“No.”

“我告訴你盼忌，趕緊過(guò)來(lái)。我們供你讀書(shū)掂墓，不是讓你被一個(gè)工人給毀了谦纱，而且他媽媽還是瘋子【啵”

“I told you come. We’re not sending you

? to school to let you ruin yourself with an auto mechanic who has a crazy

? mother.”

她怒不可遏跨嘉，我順從了她的意愿。其他年輕人也慢慢到了吃嘿，都是斯特凡諾的朋友祠乃。在那群人中梦重，我看到了吉耀拉，她示意我過(guò)去亮瓷，但我母親扯著我琴拧。帕斯卡萊、卡梅拉嘱支、恩佐蚓胸、安東尼奧最后和吉耀拉坐在一起了。艾達(dá)終于擺脫了她母親除师，把她托付給了農(nóng)齊亞沛膳。艾達(dá)過(guò)來(lái)在我耳邊說(shuō)：“過(guò)來(lái)吧♀擅耍”我想站起來(lái)于置，但母親非常憤怒地拉住了我的一條胳膊。艾達(dá)滿臉遺憾贞岭，跑去坐到了她哥哥安東尼奧的身旁八毯。安東尼奧時(shí)不時(shí)看著我，我給他做手勢(shì)瞄桨，眼睛看著天花板话速，意思是我走不開(kāi)。

I did what she said; she was furious.

? Other young people began arriving, all friends of Stefano. Among them I saw

? Gigliola, who nodded to me to join them. My mother restrained me. Pasquale,

? Carmela, Enzo, Antonio finally sat down with Gigliola’s group. Ada, who had

? succeeded in getting rid of her mother by entrusting her to Nunzia, stopped

? to whisper in my ear, saying, “Come.” I tried to get up but my mother grabbed

? my arm angrily. Ada made a face and went to sit next to her brother, who

? every so often looked at me, while I signaled to him, raising my eyes to the

? ceiling, that I was a prisoner.

樂(lè)隊(duì)開(kāi)始演奏芯侥，那個(gè)歌手大約四十多歲泊交，幾乎禿頂了，但臉上的線條很精致柱查，他哼了幾句歌詞試音廓俭。其他客人也到了，整個(gè)大廳擠滿了人唉工，大家都看起來(lái)很餓研乒，但要等新娘新郎來(lái)。我試著站起身淋硝，我母親惡狠狠地對(duì)我說(shuō)：

The band began to play. The singer, who? was around forty, and nearly bald, with very delicate features, hummed? something as a test. Other guests arrived, the room grew crowded. None of the? guests disguised their hunger, but naturally we had to wait for the? newlyweds. I tried again to get up and my mother whispered,?

“你要待在我身邊雹熬。”

“You are going to stay near me.”

待在她身邊谣膳，我看著她的憤怒竿报，她蠻橫的做法，我想她真是沒(méi)有意識(shí)到自己前后矛盾继谚。她本來(lái)不想讓我上學(xué)烈菌，但我已經(jīng)上學(xué)了，她就認(rèn)為我是和我一起長(zhǎng)大的那幫孩子中最出色的，她就認(rèn)定僧界，在當(dāng)時(shí)的情況下我不能和他們坐在一起侨嘀。她強(qiáng)迫我和她待在一起，我不知道在她的眼里捂襟，安東尼奧代表著什么樣的危險(xiǎn)？像充滿暴風(fēng)雨的大海欢峰，或者說(shuō)漩渦和激流葬荷？但我和她在一起，就意味著停留在她的那個(gè)世界纽帖，變得和她一樣宠漩。假如我最后變得和她一樣，我不找一個(gè)像安東尼奧這樣的男人懊直，那我還能找誰(shuí)呢扒吁？

Near her. I thought how contradictory she

? was, without realizing it, with her rages, with those imperious gestures. She

? hadn’t wanted me to go to school, but now that I was going to school she

? considered me better than the boys I had grown up with, and she understood,

? as I myself now did, that my place was not among them. Yet here she was

? insisting that I stay with her, to keep me from who knows what stormy sea,

? from who knows what abyss or precipice, all dangers that at that moment were

? represented in her eyes by Antonio. But staying near her meant staying in her

? world, becoming completely like her. And if I became like her, who would be

? right for me if not Antonio?

這時(shí)候，新娘新郎進(jìn)來(lái)了室囊，大家都熱烈地鼓起掌來(lái)雕崩，樂(lè)隊(duì)馬上開(kāi)始演奏婚禮進(jìn)行曲。我待在我母親身邊融撞，和她貼得很近盼铁，那種格格不入的感覺(jué)越來(lái)越強(qiáng)烈。整個(gè)小區(qū)的人都來(lái)慶祝莉拉的婚禮尝偎，她看起來(lái)很幸福饶火，很優(yōu)雅地微笑著，顯得非常文雅致扯。她和丈夫手拉著手肤寝，簡(jiǎn)直太美了。我從小都緊盯著她——她走路的方式抖僵、她的身體鲤看，就是為了躲過(guò)我母親對(duì)我的影響。我錯(cuò)了裆针，莉拉還是留在了那里刨摩，她受制于那個(gè)世界的生活方式，并認(rèn)為自己已經(jīng)獲得了最好的安置世吨，那個(gè)年輕男人是她在這個(gè)世界里最好的選擇澡刹。那場(chǎng)婚禮，對(duì)于里諾和她父親的制鞋生意也是最好的道路耘婚。她的生活和我的求學(xué)之路罢浇，已經(jīng)沒(méi)有任何共同之處了。忽然間，我覺(jué)得非常孤單嚷闭。

Meanwhile the newlyweds entered, to

? enthusiastic applause. The band started immediately, with the marriage

? processional. I was indissolubly welded to my mother, to her body, the

? alienness that was expanding inside me. Here was Lila celebrated by the neighborhood,

? she seemed happy. She smiled, elegant, courteous, her hand in her husband’s.

? She was very beautiful. As a child I had looked to her, to her progress, to

? learn how to escape my mother. I had been mistaken. Lila had remained there,

? chained in a glaring way to that world, from which she imagined she had taken

? the best. And the best was that young man, that marriage, that celebration,

? the game of shoes for Rino and her father. Nothing that had to do with my

? path as a student. I felt completely alone.

大家嚷嚷著攒岛，讓兩個(gè)新人先跳了一場(chǎng)舞，他們?cè)陂W光燈下在大廳里旋轉(zhuǎn)胞锰，動(dòng)作非常標(biāo)準(zhǔn)灾锯。我要采取行動(dòng)從我母親的世界里逃離出來(lái)，雖然即便莉拉也沒(méi)能從那個(gè)世界中逃離出去嗅榕，但我必須做到顺饮，不能再這樣逆來(lái)順受。我應(yīng)該把莉拉從我的生活中抹去凌那，就像奧利維耶羅老師來(lái)我們家里要求我做的那樣兼雄，她是為了我好。我母親拉著我的一條胳膊帽蝶，我應(yīng)該無(wú)視她赦肋，我要想到自己在意大利語(yǔ)、拉丁語(yǔ)和希臘語(yǔ)方面是最好的励稳，我要記住佃乘，我的一篇文章會(huì)發(fā)表在一份雜志上，有一個(gè)非常英俊麦锯、優(yōu)秀的高三男生也給那份雜志寫稿恕稠。

The newlyweds were obliged to dance amid

? the flashes of the photographer. They spun through the room, precise in their

? movements. I should take note, I thought: not even Lila, in spite of

? everything, has managed to escape from my mother’s world. I have to, I can’t

? be acquiescent any longer. I have to eliminate her, as Maestra Oliviero had

? been able to do when she arrived at our house to impose on her what was good

? for me. She was restraining me by one arm but I had to ignore her, remember

? that I was the best in Italian, Latin, and Greek, remember that I had

? confronted the religion teacher, remember that an article would appear with

? my signature in the same journal in which a handsome, clever boy in his last

? year of high school wrote.

尼諾·薩拉托雷這時(shí)候走進(jìn)了餐廳，在看到阿方索和瑪麗莎之前扶欣，我先看到了他鹅巍。一看到他我就馬上站了起來(lái)。我母親拉住了我的裙子料祠，但我一下子就甩開(kāi)了她骆捧。安東尼奧一直在盯著我看，他的臉上放晴了髓绽，向我投來(lái)了邀請(qǐng)的目光敛苇。這時(shí)候，莉拉和斯特凡諾正走向放在餐廳中間的位子顺呕，那張桌子前坐著索拉拉夫婦枫攀，還有佛羅倫薩來(lái)的古董商夫婦。我離開(kāi)他們株茶，走向了門口来涨，朝著阿方索、瑪麗莎和尼諾的方向走去启盛。

At that moment Nino Sarratore entered. I

? saw him before I saw Alfonso and Marisa, I saw him and jumped up. My mother

? tried to hold me by the hem of my dress and I pulled the dress away. Antonio,

? who hadn’t let me out of his sight, brightened, threw me a glance of

? invitation. But I, moving away from Lila and Stefano, who were now going to

? take their place in the middle of the table, between the Solaras and the

? couple from Florence, headed straight toward the entrance, toward Alfonso,

? Marisa, Nino.

61

我們找到了坐的地方蹦掐，我和阿方索技羔、瑪麗莎寒暄，希望尼諾能主動(dòng)找我聊天卧抗。這時(shí)候藤滥，安東尼奧從我身后走了過(guò)來(lái)，他彎下腰社裆，在我耳邊說(shuō)：

We found a seat. I made general

? conversation with Alfonso and Marisa, and I hoped that Nino would say

? something to me. Meanwhile Antonio came up behind me, leaned over, and

? whispered in my ear.

“我給你占了個(gè)位子拙绊。”

“I’ve kept a place for you.”

我低聲說(shuō)：“你走吧浦马，我母親已經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn)了时呀。”

I whispered, “Go away, my mother has

? understood everything.”

他很忐忑地看看周圍晶默，有些羞怯，又回到了自己的位子上航攒。

He looked around uncertainly, very

? intimidated. He returned to his table.

餐廳里響起一陣不滿的嘀咕聲磺陡，那些心懷怨氣的客人馬上提出抗議，他們說(shuō)各個(gè)桌子上的酒不一樣漠畜，而且有的桌子已經(jīng)上了第一道菜币他，有的桌子開(kāi)胃菜還沒(méi)上。已經(jīng)有人開(kāi)始大聲嚷嚷憔狞，說(shuō)新郎親戚坐的桌子和服務(wù)要比新娘那邊要好蝴悉。我感覺(jué)到了那種緊張、激憤的氣氛瘾敢。我打起精神拍冠，把尼諾扯進(jìn)了我們的對(duì)話中，讓他給我講講他那篇關(guān)于那不勒斯貧窮落后的文章簇抵。我的目的是等他說(shuō)完之后庆杜，我自然而然地提到下期雜志和我那篇短短的文章。他馬上就說(shuō)起了這個(gè)城市的狀況碟摆，講得非常有意思晃财，有很多信息。他肯定的語(yǔ)氣很吸引我典蜕，在伊斯基亞時(shí)断盛，他還是一個(gè)內(nèi)心不安的少年，但現(xiàn)在我覺(jué)得他變得過(guò)于成熟：作為一個(gè)十八歲的男孩愉舔，他沒(méi)有像帕斯卡萊那樣用一種非常悲痛的語(yǔ)氣談?wù)撨@里普遍悲慘貧窮的生活钢猛。尼諾的語(yǔ)氣很冷靜，談的一些具體的事實(shí)和數(shù)據(jù)屑宠，他是怎么做到的呢厢洞？

There was a noise of discontent in the

? room. The more rancorous guests had immediately begun to notice the things

? that weren’t right. The wine wasn’t the same quality for all the tables. Some

? were already on the first course when others still hadn’t been served their

? antipasto. Some were saying aloud that the service was better where the

? relatives and friends of the bridegroom were sitting than where the relatives

? and friends of the bride were. I hated those conflicts, their mounting

? clamor. Boldly I drew Nino into the conversation, asking him to tell me about

? his article on poverty in Naples, thinking I would ask him afterward,

? naturally, for news of the next issue of the journal and my half page. He

? started off with really interesting and informed talk on the state of the

? city. His assurance struck me. In Ischia he had still had the features of the

? tormented boy, now he seemed to me almost too grown-up. How was it possible

? that a boy of eighteen could speak not generically, in sorrowful accents, about

? poverty, the way Pasquale did, but concretely, impersonally, citing precise

? facts.

“你是從哪里學(xué)到這些的。”

“Where did you learn those things?”

“讀到的躺翻∩ミ矗”

“You just have to read.”

“讀什么？”

“What?”

“談?wù)撨@些問(wèn)題的報(bào)紙公你、雜志還有書(shū)籍踊淳。”

“Newspapers, journals, the books that

? deal with these problems.”

我從來(lái)都沒(méi)有翻閱過(guò)任何一份報(bào)紙或者雜志陕靠，我只讀小說(shuō)迂尝。莉拉也一樣，在她讀書(shū)的那段時(shí)間剪芥，除了流動(dòng)圖書(shū)館那些破舊的小說(shuō)之外垄开，她其他什么書(shū)都沒(méi)有看。我已經(jīng)太落后了税肪，尼諾可以幫助我溉躲，彌補(bǔ)我所不知道的領(lǐng)域。

I had never even leafed through a

? newspaper or a magazine, I read only novels. Lila herself, in the time when

? she read, had never read anything but the dog-eared old novels of the

? circulating library. I was behind in everything, Nino could help me make up

? ground.

我的問(wèn)題越來(lái)越多益兄，他在回答锻梳。但在回答我的問(wèn)題時(shí)，他不像莉拉那么犀利净捅，他沒(méi)有莉拉的那種本領(lǐng)疑枯，可以把任何事情都講得很吸引人。在談?wù)搯?wèn)題時(shí)蛔六，他采用的語(yǔ)氣是學(xué)者式的荆永，充滿了具體的實(shí)例。我的每個(gè)問(wèn)題都會(huì)推動(dòng)他滔滔不絕古今，他一直說(shuō)個(gè)不停屁魏，沒(méi)有任何修飾，也沒(méi)有諷刺捉腥，只是很尖銳生硬氓拼。阿方索和瑪麗莎很快就覺(jué)得被孤立了。瑪麗莎說(shuō)：“天啊抵碟，我哥真是乏味桃漾！”她和阿方索聊了起來(lái)。我和尼諾也單獨(dú)聊了起來(lái)拟逮，我們感覺(jué)不到發(fā)生在周圍的事情：我們不知道放在盤子里的是什么撬统，我們不知道自己在吃什么、喝什么敦迄。我在努力尋找想要問(wèn)他的問(wèn)題恋追，很專注地傾聽(tīng)他滔滔不絕凭迹。我很快就感到，他談?wù)摰氖虑槎际菄@一條主線進(jìn)行的苦囱，他的每句話都圍繞著一個(gè)核心：要拒絕那些晦澀的句子嗅绸，需要明確地指出問(wèn)題，提出一個(gè)可行的解決方案撕彤，然后介入鱼鸠。

I began to ask more and more questions,

? he answered. He answered, yes, but he didn’t give instant answers, the way

? Lila did, he didn’t have her capacity to make everything fascinating. He

? constructed speeches with the attitude of a scholar, full of concrete

? examples, and every one of my questions was a small push that set off a

? landslide: he spoke without stopping, without embellishment, without any

? irony, harsh, cutting. Alfonso and Marisa soon felt isolated. Marisa said,

? “Goodness, what a bore my brother is.” And they began to talk to each other.

? Nino and I also were isolated. We no longer heard what was happening around

? us: we didn’t know what was served on the plates, what we ate or drank. I

? struggled to find questions, I listened closely to his endless answers. I

? quickly grasped, however, that a single fixed idea constituted the thread of

? his conversation and animated every sentence: the rejection of vague words,

? the necessity of distinguishing problems clearly, hypothesizing practical

? solutions, intervention.

我一直在點(diǎn)頭，說(shuō)我同意他說(shuō)的話羹铅。在他談到文學(xué)時(shí)蚀狰，我有一絲忐忑。他說(shuō)：“那些都是放煙霧彈的人职员《郑”他皺著眉頭铐刘，重復(fù)了兩三次盐数，說(shuō)文學(xué)家——那些放煙霧彈的人是他的敵人慨畸，“他們寫小說(shuō)，我很樂(lè)意讀蛛蒙，但如果要真正改變現(xiàn)實(shí)，那是另外一回事兒渤愁∏Ｋ睿”實(shí)際上，按照我的理解抖格，他用“文學(xué)”這個(gè)詞來(lái)反對(duì)那些腐蝕人們頭腦的人诺苹，他說(shuō)文學(xué)都是無(wú)用的閑談。對(duì)于我提出的微弱反對(duì)雹拄，他這樣回答：“有太多糟糕的騎士小說(shuō)了收奔，萊諾！他們塑造了一個(gè)堂吉訶德滓玖，我們很尊敬堂吉訶德坪哄，但在那不勒斯，我們不需要他势篡，我們不需要和風(fēng)車作戰(zhàn)翩肌，那只是白費(fèi)力氣，我們需要了解風(fēng)車的運(yùn)作方式禁悠，并且能讓風(fēng)車發(fā)揮作用的人念祭。”

?I? kept nodding yes, I declared myself in agreement on everything. I assumed a? puzzled expression only when he spoke ill of literature. “If they want to be? windbags,” he repeated two or three times, very angry at his enemies, that is? to say anyone who was a windbag, “l(fā)et them write novels, I’ll read them? willingly; but if you really want to change things, then it’s a different? matter.” In reality—I seemed to understand—he used the word “l(fā)iterature” to? be critical of anyone who ruined people’s minds by means of what he called? idle chatter. When I protested weakly, for example, he answered like this:? “Too many bad gallant novels, Lenù, make a Don Quixote; but here in Naples? we, with all due respect to Don Quixote, have no need to tilt against? windmills, it’s only wasted courage: we need people who know how the mills? work and will make them work.”

很快碍侦，我希望自己每天能和這種水平的男生進(jìn)行討論：在他身上粱坤，我犯了多少錯(cuò)誤傲ジ狻！我那么渴望他站玄，愛(ài)他枚驻，但卻一直回避他，這是多么愚蠢的做法把咽病测秸！那是他父親的錯(cuò)，但也是我的錯(cuò)灾常。我那么全身心地排斥我母親霎冯，但卻讓他父親丑陋的影子投射在兒子身上？我后悔了钞瀑，我慶幸自己能及時(shí)醒悟過(guò)來(lái)沈撞，也后悔自己沉浸在那個(gè)小說(shuō)的世界里。這時(shí)候雕什，餐廳里充滿了嘈雜的音樂(lè)和人聲缠俺，我不得不抬高嗓門和他說(shuō)話，他也大聲地對(duì)我說(shuō)話贷岸。有幾次壹士，我向莉拉坐的那桌看去：她在笑，在吃東西偿警，聊天躏救，她根本都不知道我坐在哪里、在和誰(shuí)說(shuō)話螟蒸。

In a short while I wished I could talk? every day to a boy on that level: how many mistakes I had made with him; what? foolishness it had been to want him, love him, and yet always avoid him. His? father’s fault. But also my fault: I—I who was so upset by my mother—I had? let the father throw his ugly shadow over the son? I repented, I reveled in? my repentance, in the novel I felt myself immersed in. Meanwhile I often? raised my voice to be heard over the clamor of the room, the music, and so? did he. From time to time I looked at Lila’s table: she laughed, she ate, she? talked, she didn’t realize where I was, the person I was talking to.?

有很少幾次盒使，我向安東尼奧坐的那桌望去，我很擔(dān)心他會(huì)叫我過(guò)去七嫌，但我看到他看我的目光有些氣憤少办，我感覺(jué)很好。我想：沒(méi)辦法诵原，只能這樣英妓，我已經(jīng)決定明天和他分手。我不能繼續(xù)和他在一起皮假，我們的差別太大了鞋拟。

Rarely, however, did I look toward? Antonio’s table, I was afraid he would make me a sign to join him. But I felt? that he kept his eyes on me, that he was nervous, getting angry. Never mind,? I thought, I’ve already decided, I’ll break up tomorrow: I can’t go on with? him, we’re too different.?

當(dāng)然，他很欣賞我惹资，他對(duì)我全身心地投入贺纲，就像小狗一樣忠誠(chéng)。尼諾對(duì)我說(shuō)話的樣子褪测，讓我覺(jué)得他很迷人猴誊，沒(méi)有任何從屬的感覺(jué)潦刃。他向我展示了他的未來(lái)，以及他的思想根基懈叹。我聽(tīng)他說(shuō)話乖杠，感覺(jué)我的頭腦被點(diǎn)亮了，就像曾經(jīng)的莉拉對(duì)我的啟發(fā)一樣澄成，他對(duì)我說(shuō)的話能幫助我成長(zhǎng)胧洒。他會(huì)把我從我母親的世界里拉出來(lái)，他自己也在全力擺脫他父親的影響墨状。

Of course, he adored me, he was entirely

? devoted to me, but like a dog. I was dazzled instead by the way Nino talked

? to me: without any subservience. He set out his future, the ideas on the

? basis of which he would build it. To listen to him lighted up my mind almost

? the way Lila once had. His devotion to me made me grow. He, yes, he would

? take me away from my mother, he who wanted only to leave his father.

我感覺(jué)到有人在碰我的肩膀卫漫，又是安東尼奧。他陰著臉說(shuō)：“我們跳舞吧肾砂×惺辏”

I felt someone touch my shoulder, it was

? Antonio again. He said, “Let’s dance.”

我小聲說(shuō)：“我母親不答應(yīng)「淙罚”

“My mother doesn’t want me to,” I

? whispered.

他語(yǔ)氣有些焦慮包吝，大聲反駁說(shuō)：“大家都在跳舞，有什么問(wèn)題嗎源葫？”

He replied, tensely, “Everyone’s dancing,

? what’s the problem?”

我對(duì)尼諾露出了一個(gè)尷尬的微笑诗越，他很清楚地知道，安東尼奧是我的男朋友息堂。他很嚴(yán)肅地看了我一眼掺喻，開(kāi)始和阿方索聊天。我去跳舞了储矩。

I half-smiled at Nino, embarrassed, he

? knew that Antonio was my boyfriend. He looked at me seriously, he turned to

? Alfonso. I left.

“你不要強(qiáng)迫我」诱В”

“Don’t hold me close.”

“我沒(méi)有強(qiáng)迫你持隧！”

“I’m not holding you close.”

餐廳里人聲鼎沸，充滿著歡樂(lè)的氣氛逃片，所有人都在跳舞屡拨，年輕人、小孩子和中老年人褥实，但我能感覺(jué)到這歡慶的表層下真實(shí)的東西呀狼。新娘的親戚都滿臉不快，他們都在吵吵嚷嚷损离，尤其是女人們哥艇。為了買禮物，籌備身上的衣服僻澎，她們花了很多錢貌踏。她們借錢充門面十饥，現(xiàn)在卻被像叫花子一樣對(duì)待：劣質(zhì)葡萄酒，上菜慢得讓人無(wú)法容忍祖乳。為什么莉拉沒(méi)有介入呢逗堵？為什么她沒(méi)有在斯特凡諾面前抗議呢？我了解她們——出于對(duì)莉拉的愛(ài)眷昆，她們會(huì)克制自己的憤怒蜒秤。但婚宴結(jié)束之后，莉拉會(huì)去換衣服亚斋，當(dāng)她穿著旅行的衣裳回來(lái)作媚、分發(fā)喜糖包，當(dāng)她穿得漂漂亮亮和她的丈夫離開(kāi)之后伞访，就會(huì)爆發(fā)出一場(chǎng)前所未有的爭(zhēng)吵掂骏，會(huì)催生持續(xù)好幾個(gè)月，甚至好幾年的仇恨厚掷，那些報(bào)復(fù)和辱罵會(huì)把她們的丈夫和兒子也卷進(jìn)來(lái)弟灼，他們會(huì)向母親、姐妹還有祖母展示自己是真正的男人冒黑。我了解這里的所有人田绑、所有的男男女女，我看到那些小伙子用仇恨的目光看著那個(gè)歌手和樂(lè)隊(duì)的樂(lè)手抡爹，因?yàn)樗麄冇靡环N曖昧的目光看了自己的女朋友掩驱。我看到恩佐和卡梅拉跳舞時(shí)的說(shuō)話方式，看到帕斯卡萊和艾達(dá)坐在桌子前：很明顯冬竟，在這場(chǎng)婚禮結(jié)束之后欧穴，他們會(huì)在一起，很快就會(huì)訂婚泵殴，極有可能經(jīng)過(guò)一年半載涮帘，他們也會(huì)結(jié)婚。我看到里諾和皮諾奇婭：他們可能會(huì)更快一些笑诅，假如“賽魯羅”制鞋坊能真正啟動(dòng)起來(lái)调缨，最多過(guò)一年，會(huì)舉行另一場(chǎng)婚禮吆你，和莉拉的婚禮一樣排場(chǎng)弦叶。他們一起跳舞，四目對(duì)視妇多，緊緊地?fù)肀е瞬浮?ài)情和利益，肉食店和制鞋廠，老樓房和新樓房默责。我就像他們一樣嗎贬循？我還像他們一樣嗎？

There was a loud din, a drunken gaiety.

? Young people, adults, children were dancing. But I could feel the reality

? behind the appearance of festivity. The distorted faces of the bride’s

? relatives signaled a quarrelsome discontent. Especially the women. They had

? spent their last cent for the gift, for what they were wearing, had gone into

? debt, and now they were treated like poor relations, with bad wine,

? intolerable delays in service? Why didn’t Lila intervene, why didn’t she

? protest to Stefano? I knew them. They would restrain their rage for love of

? Lila but at the end of the reception, when she went to change, when she came

? back, dressed in her beautiful traveling clothes, when she handed out the

? wedding favors, when she had left, with her husband, then a huge fight would

? erupt, and it would be the start of hatreds lasting months, years, and

? offenses and insults that would involve husbands, sons, all with an

? obligation to prove to mothers and sisters and grandmothers that they knew

? how to be men. I knew all the women, the men. I saw the gazes of the young

? men turned fiercely to the singer, to the musicians who looked insultingly at

? their girlfriends or made allusive remarks to one another. I saw how Enzo and

? Carmela talked while they danced, I saw also Pasquale and Ada sitting at the

? table: it was clear that before the end of the party they would be together

? and then they would be engaged and in all probability in a year, in ten, they

? would marry. I saw Rino and Pinuccia. In their case everything would happen

? more quickly: if the Cerullo shoe factory seriously got going, in a year at

? most they would have a wedding celebration no less ostentatious than this.

? They danced, they looked into each other’s eyes, they held each other

? closely. Love and interest. Grocery plus shoes. Old houses plus new houses.

? Was I like them? Was I still?

“那人是誰(shuí)桃序？”安東尼奧問(wèn)我杖虾。

“Who’s that?” Antonio asked.

“還能是誰(shuí)？你沒(méi)認(rèn)出他來(lái)嗎媒熊？”

“Who do you think? You don’t recognize

? him?”

“沒(méi)有奇适。”

“No.”

“他是薩拉托雷的大兒子尼諾芦鳍，還有瑪麗莎嚷往，你記得嗎？”

“It’s Nino, Sarratore’s oldest son. And

? that’s Marisa, you remember her?”

他一點(diǎn)兒也不在乎瑪麗莎是誰(shuí)柠衅，他只在乎尼諾皮仁。他很暴躁地說(shuō)：“你先帶著我去見(jiàn)薩拉托雷，讓他不要再來(lái)這里菲宴，然后你又和他兒子一聊好幾個(gè)小時(shí)贷祈？我做了新衣服，就是為了看到你和他一起聊得那么開(kāi)心嗎喝峦？他連頭發(fā)都沒(méi)剪势誊，連領(lǐng)帶都沒(méi)有打！”

He didn’t care at all about Marisa, about

? Nino he did. He said nervously, “So first you bring me to Sarratore to

? threaten him, and then you sit talking to his son for hours? I have a new

? suit made so I can sit watching you amuse yourself with that kid, who doesn’t

? even get a haircut, doesn’t even wear a tie?”

他把我撇在了大廳中央谣蠢，快步走向了天臺(tái)的玻璃門粟耻。

He left me in the middle of the room and

? headed quickly toward the glass door that opened onto the terrace.

我猶豫了幾秒鐘，不知道是該去追安東尼奧眉踱，還是回到尼諾身邊挤忙。我母親一直注視著我，盡管她的斜眼好像在看別的地方谈喳；我父親也注視著我饭玲，目光有些兇狠。我想：假如我回到尼諾身邊叁执，假如我沒(méi)在天臺(tái)上和安東尼奧會(huì)合，那就是他甩了我矮冬，最好是這樣谈宛。我經(jīng)過(guò)大廳時(shí)樂(lè)隊(duì)還在演奏，人們還在繼續(xù)跳著雙人舞胎署，我回到了自己的位子上吆录。

For a few seconds I was uncertain what to

? do. Join Antonio. Return to Nino. I had on me my mother’s gaze, even if her

? wandering eye seemed to be looking elsewhere. I had on me my father’s gaze,

? and it was an ugly gaze. I thought: if I go back to Nino, if I don’t join

? Antonio on the terrace, it will be he who leaves me and for me it will be

? better like that. I crossed the room while the band kept playing, couples

? continued to dance. I sat down.

尼諾好像根本就沒(méi)有注意到發(fā)生了什么。他那時(shí)正在談?wù)摷永麃喣崂蠋熐砟粒€是那種滔滔不絕的方式恢筝，他正在和阿方索爭(zhēng)論哀卫，捍衛(wèi)加利亞尼老師，因?yàn)槲抑狼瞬郏⒎剿骱苡憛捈永麃喣岽烁摹Ｄ嶂Z說(shuō)，他也經(jīng)常和這位女老師發(fā)生沖突——她太嚴(yán)厲了侄柔，但作為老師共啃，她非常棒，她一直激勵(lì)著自己暂题，教會(huì)了他學(xué)習(xí)的能力移剪。我也想插話，我非常迫切地想讓尼諾再次接納我薪者，我不希望他和我同桌討論起來(lái)纵苛，就像剛才和我討論時(shí)一樣。我想和尼諾說(shuō)話言津，為了避免自己跑去和安東尼奧講和攻人，滿臉淚水地對(duì)他說(shuō)：“是的，你說(shuō)得有道理纺念，我不知道自己是誰(shuí)贝椿，想要什么，我利用你陷谱，然后甩開(kāi)你烙博，這不是我的錯(cuò)，我不知道自己想干什么烟逊，原諒我吧渣窜！”我需要尼諾，需要他把我拉入他了解的事情之中宪躯、進(jìn)入他的世界乔宿，認(rèn)為我是他的同類，因此我?guī)缀跏菗屜铝怂脑掝^访雪。他正在努力地?fù)炱鹞覀冎暗脑掝}详瑞，我列出了那學(xué)期初老師借給我的書(shū)，還有給我的建議臣缀。他點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭坝橡，有些不悅，他提到老師在前不久也借給了他一本書(shū)精置，是我提到的書(shū)單里的一本计寇，他就開(kāi)始談起了那本書(shū)。但我需要更多的認(rèn)可，讓我能脫離安東尼奧番宁。我忽然問(wèn)他：

Nino seemed not to have taken the least

? notice of what had happened. Now he was speaking in his torrential way about

? Professor Galiani. He was defending her to Alfonso, who I knew detested her.

? He was saying that he, too, often ended up disagreeing with her—too rigid—but

? as a teacher she was extraordinary, she had always encouraged him, had

? transmitted the capacity to study. I tried to enter the conversation. I felt

? an urgent need to be caught up again by Nino, I didn’t want him to start

? talking to my classmate exactly the way, until a moment earlier, he had been

? talking to me. I needed—in order not to rush to make up with Antonio, to tell

? him, in tears: yes, you’re right, I don’t know what I am and what I really

? want, I use you and then I throw you away, but it’s not my fault, I feel half

? and half, forgive me—Nino to draw me exclusively into the things he knew,

? into his powers, to recognize me as like him. So I almost cut him off and,

? while he tried to resume the interrupted conversation, I enumerated the books

? that the teacher had lent me since the beginning of the year, the advice she

? had given me. He nodded yes, somewhat sulkily, he remembered that the

? teacher, some time earlier, had lent one of those texts to him and he began

? to talk about it. But I had an increasing urgency for gratifications that

? would distract me from Antonio, and I asked him, without any connection:

“那本雜志什么時(shí)候出來(lái)元莫？”

“When will the magazine come out?”

他用一種游移的目光看著我，帶著一絲不安說(shuō)：

He stared at me uncertainly, slightly

? apprehensive.

“已經(jīng)出來(lái)了蝶押，大概兩星期之前踱蠢。”

“It came out a couple of weeks ago.”

我歡呼了一下播聪，問(wèn)他：“我在哪兒可以找到朽基？”

I had a start of joy, I asked, “Where can

? I find it?”

“在桂達(dá)書(shū)店里有賣，我可以幫你搞到离陶〖诨ⅲ”

“They sell it at the Guida bookstore.

? Anyway I can get it for you.”

“謝謝≌信伲”

“Thank you.”

他猶豫了一下霎俩，然后說(shuō)：“你的那篇文章他們沒(méi)加進(jìn)去，因?yàn)闆](méi)地方了沉眶〈蛉矗”

He hesitated, then he said, “But they

? didn’t put your piece in, it turned out there wasn’t room.”

阿方索臉上馬上露出了微笑，他舒了一口氣說(shuō)：“這樣最好谎倔×鳎”

Alfonso suddenly smiled with relief and

? murmured, “Thank goodness.”