Why study Positive Psychology? 為什么要學(xué)習(xí)積極心理學(xué)？
1.?Find the ‘fit’. Be an active participant, as opposed to passive recipient of a doctrine.?Identify the thing that works for you.?
這應(yīng)該是適用于所有方式方法的。方式方法千千萬蹦漠，找到適合自己的戚嗅，而不是被動(dòng)全盤接受所有的方式方法蹭睡。
2. (In one year research it shows that) 47% Harvard students experienced depression that they cannot function, cannot get through the day. The data for nation wide (the US) is 45%.
有一年的研究表明47%的哈佛學(xué)生受到抑郁癥的困擾衍菱，而且達(dá)到無法正常生活的程度。同年全美數(shù)據(jù)是45%肩豁。
Tal窮盡了學(xué)術(shù)論文以后發(fā)現(xiàn)脊串，研究抑郁，焦慮清钥，神經(jīng)癥的論文和研究幸盖矸妫快樂(happiness and well-being)的論文比例21：1。
3.?Focusing on what works.
Being happy is not just the negation of unhappiness. It doesn’t mean just get rid of depression or anxiety that I am experiencing, I spontaneously become happy. That’s not the case. That’s not how it works. And finally, prevention which is very important today, the most effective way of preventing hardship, whether it’s depression, whether it’s anxiety, it’s actually by focusing on and cultivating the positive.
幸福不是說我擺脫了抑郁和焦慮我就馬上幸福起來祟昭。最重要的也是最有效的預(yù)防抑郁和焦慮的方法是專注和培養(yǎng)積極心理缕坎。
4.研究人員研究了at risk population，比如城市里的貧民窟里的孩子的成長(zhǎng)篡悟。開始他們研究為什么他們會(huì)在生活中fail谜叹，后來他們做了反向研究，研究為什么在這群人中有人成功搬葬，結(jié)論是他們有resilience（有人翻譯為適應(yīng)力荷腊，我覺得"韌性"更好 ）。?
Resilience的定義：A class of phenomena characterized by patterns of positive adaptation in the context of significant adversity or risk. 也就是在重大的逆境下積極行事急凰。
Resilience is associated with well-being. 韌性和一個(gè)人的心理健康息息相關(guān)女仰。
他們擁有這些特質(zhì)，而這些特質(zhì)都是可以被習(xí)得的：
1）Faith, optimistic 有信念抡锈，但不是盲目樂觀董栽。
They believe in things would work out well.?
他們相信事情最終會(huì)被完成或者解決。
“It may not work out this time but it will work out later and I have learned from what had just happened.”?
“可能這次不行但是下次一定可以企孩，我從這次的失敗中學(xué)到了很多≡”
2) Many of them are idealistic?他們中很多人是理想主義者勿璃。
To be idealistic is to be realistic. 做一個(gè)實(shí)際的理想主義者。
3) Experience a sense of ‘meaning’. 感到人生有意義推汽。
4) Pro-social behavior, helping other people, shifting from helplessness to helpfulness 利他行為补疑，幫助別人。
5) Focus on personal strength rather than primarily deficiencies. 關(guān)注個(gè)人的優(yōu)勢(shì)而不是缺陷歹撒。
They do not ignore their weaknesses, but they asked, “What am I good at? What am I really really good at?”?
他們并非忽視自己的缺點(diǎn)莲组，而是問自己，我擅長(zhǎng)什么暖夭？
6) They set goals, they are future-oriented, not just thinking about how bad things are today perhaps but also think this is where I wanna be 5 years or 10 years from now.
他們?cè)O(shè)立目標(biāo)锹杈，以未來為導(dǎo)向撵孤。他們不僅思考現(xiàn)在發(fā)生的壞事，也思考五年十年以后他們想達(dá)成什么目標(biāo)竭望。
7) They had a role model, gave them strength, gave them the sense of direction.
他們有一個(gè)偶像邪码，這個(gè)偶像給予他們力量和方向感。
8) Most significantly, they did not bowl alone. They had social support.
最重要的是咬清，他們不單打獨(dú)斗闭专，他們有社會(huì)支持。
“I am tough enough to reach out for help.” “我足夠堅(jiān)強(qiáng)旧烧，可以尋求幫助影钉。”
The strength to admit weakness, the strength to admit need. 他們有承認(rèn)弱點(diǎn)的力量掘剪，有承認(rèn)需要幫助的力量平委。
Identify the right people, people who, when you reach out to them, will reach out back to you and will be able to give back.
社會(huì)支持不是說每天要和100個(gè)人社交。三五知己杖小，親密的家人肆汹，都可以是社會(huì)支持。識(shí)別對(duì)的人很重要予权，當(dāng)你向他們尋求幫助的時(shí)候昂勉，他們會(huì)接納你的求助并給予幫助。
5.?The consequence of the ability to focus is not always helpful.
集中注意力的能力帶來的結(jié)果不總是有幫助的扫腺。
Tal給學(xué)生們做了一個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)岗照。他給大家看一張PPT，上面有很多幾何圖形笆环。30秒的時(shí)間攒至，大家需要識(shí)別這張PPT上一共有幾個(gè)幾何圖形。30秒后躁劣，Tal問大家：PPT上的時(shí)鐘指向幾點(diǎn)迫吐？最左邊的幾何圖形里主要的顏色是哪個(gè)顏色？巴士上有幾個(gè)小孩账忘？很少有人能全部答對(duì)志膀，因?yàn)榇蠹叶紝Ｗ⒃跀?shù)幾何圖形的數(shù)量。
What question is mostly asked by couples beyond the honeymoon phase??
“What’s wrong?" "What’s not working?" "How can we improve the relationship?"
在蜜月期過后鳖擒，夫妻最常問的問題是什么溉浙？哪兒出了問題？什么不對(duì)蒋荚？我們?cè)趺锤纳脐P(guān)系戳稽？
If that’s the only question that we ask, then that’s the only thing we will see.
如果這是我們提出的唯一問題，這也就是我們能看到的唯一事情期升。
The only thing that we see is our deficiencies, that things are not working, the things that need to be improved, the weakness of my partner, of the relationship.
我們唯一看到的是缺陷惊奇，是出了問題的地方互躬，是需要改善的地方，是伴侶的缺點(diǎn)赊时，是關(guān)系的問題吨铸。
Individually: What are my weaknesses? What do I need to improve? Excluded “What are my strength? What are my virtues? What am I good at?”
從個(gè)人來看，如果一直問：我的缺點(diǎn)是什么祖秒？我怎么改進(jìn)诞吱？就排除了”我的優(yōu)勢(shì)在哪里？”這樣的問題竭缝。
Question creates reality. The question that we ask very often determine the quest that we will pursue, the path that we will take, the life that we will lead.
問題創(chuàng)造現(xiàn)實(shí)房维。我們提出的問題常常決定了我們要探索和追求的目標(biāo)，我們選擇走的路和我們的人生抬纸。
To appreciate what is working, individually, inter-personally, organizationally.
我們應(yīng)該更關(guān)注什么起作用咙俩，無論是個(gè)人，人際間湿故，還是在公司組織里阿趁。
It is important to appreciate what is good.
關(guān)注好的事物是很重要的。
Appreciate – two meanings 這個(gè)詞有兩個(gè)意思
1) Say thank you to something, not to take it for granted 表示感激坛猪，而不是認(rèn)為理所應(yīng)當(dāng)脖阵。
2) To grow – when we appreciate the good, the good appreciates,the good grows 成長(zhǎng) ——當(dāng)我們appreciate好的事物，好的事物就會(huì)appreciate墅茉，也就是成長(zhǎng)/增長(zhǎng)命黔。
We see what we look for and we miss much of what we are not looking for even though it is there.
我們只看到我們?nèi)ふ业臇|西而錯(cuò)失了我們沒有尋找的東西，即使它們就在我們眼前就斤。
Our experience of the world is heavily influenced by where we place our attention.
我們對(duì)世界的體驗(yàn)很大程度上受到我們關(guān)注點(diǎn)的影響悍募。
6.?Marva Collins – 她是Tal的偶像，也是Tal致力于成為老師的原因之一洋机。他極力推薦她的書坠宴。
Stop blaming others, take responsibility for your life.
She is not a push-over, she is tough and demanding. She respects them (the students) and believes in them.
We need to stop asking whether or not a student is smart. What we need to ask is what is the student smart at. And when we identify what the student is smart at, strong at, then we appreciate it.
Essentially, what Marva Collins does is create for students, the paradigm essentially is from being a in active passive victim, changes their perspective to be an active agent.
這段太長(zhǎng)了，無力逐字翻譯绷旗。核心思想就是啄踊，要從一個(gè)被動(dòng)受害者的心態(tài)轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)?b>主動(dòng)的參與者。
Tal舉了一個(gè)例子（翻不動(dòng)了刁标，大家自己讀一讀吧）：
My girlfriend left me.
Passive victim:
If I am a passive victim, my experience is self-pity. Feel sorry for myself. Ruminate?about the situation and how terrible it is. From a passive victim, I then move to blame: she’s terrible, it’s her fault, I blame her. I blame my parents, the way they raise me; I blame her parents, and whomever.
And after I blame, I experience frustration as well as anger. Anger toward her, toward my parents, her parents, whoever it is, I feel anger.
And the results? Very few results because I wallow in illumination and self-pity.
Active agent:
First of all, by definition, I take action. I take responsibility. I go out to places after experiencing the pain and it’s painful. I go out there where I can meet someone, I go to Pizza place.
Taking actions will increase our level of confidence. And then more hope and optimism is a result. Hope and optimism become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Being an active agent doesn’t mean not giving ourselves the time and space, the permission to experience the painful emotions, to go through the emotion. Yes, by all means, we go through it. (最終我們一定會(huì)擺脫它) However, what it is also saying is that we need to find the right time to take action, to take responsibility, to do things so that our confidence levels in our hope and optimism increase.
Understanding that you have to take responsibility for your life is recognizing, understanding that no one is coming. No one is coming, no the knight in shining armour who will take you to the happily ever after land.No one is coming to make the life better for you. No one is coming. You are responsible for your life, for your self-confidence, for your self-esteem, for your happiness. No one is coming. It’s up to you to make the most out of this experience.
沒有人會(huì)來拯救你，沒有穿著盔甲的騎士把你帶到“從此以后王子和公主過著幸钢吩危快樂的生活”之地膀懈。沒有人能把你的生活變得更好。你為自己的人生負(fù)責(zé)谨垃，為你的自信負(fù)責(zé)启搂，為你的自尊負(fù)責(zé)硼控，為你的幸福負(fù)責(zé)。能否過好這一生完全取決于你自己胳赌。
17/7/2018
