A cup of hot milk flew into my stomach, suddenly all the tiredness and coldness are being driven away. The warmth of the milk held in hands are immersing into me, and the tender smell of? the milk are slipping into my heart. Suddenly, I am being surrounded by the happiness of tranquility.
After years of pursuing and striving for the happiness of love and better life, I wore myself out. I tried desperately to be the expected me and hoped it could bring me the love I dreamed. I used to be very straightforward but I failed time after time till I turned from being brave into being intimidated. I felt very tired and suffering. my pride was defeated and my soul abandoned me. I got lost.
I lost my way to love and to be loved. looking people around me, seems they are so clear about future, but for me, running circles at the same place and just can not see where is my way out. I was panic and agitated. i started to lose my sleep as well, reading love novels all day night. It created a world of cosy dreaming but it triggered my distain. I was in a world of? fantasy and messy.
it has lasted for a quite long time until I finally tried to drink the hot milk before going to bed. the warmth eased my sensitive nerves and let me fall into sleep. since that day one, I got the hobbit of drinking hot milk. Every time when I was drinking the milk, my mind is empty of nothing. from that day on, I started to feel such simple happiness of drinking hot milk. it reminds me of my school time. when I was in high school and lived at home, every morning and evening mom prepared one cup of hot milk for me. no matter how bad my study performance was, mom never scolded me or showed any disappointment, instead, she encouraged me by showing her trust in me. she believed that I can do better.? the sweet memory and warmth of past calmed me. I started to slow down, I started to lay off my desire of pursuing love and better me. I stoped to be the one expected. I started to ask myself question, who you are and what you really like?? simple questions, but I can not answer it.
so I started my way of searching for the answers. I started to read books, put them into practice and listen to my feelings from bottom of my heart. I removed my masquerade and disguise to be honest to all the answers. I still remembered the day forced myself to read books and do exercise, I was so reluctant. after tears and sweats, after years of deeds, I got the answers. I can face the reality and keep aware and clear in the pseudo love and be brave to refuse those harmful people or things with my wisdom.
I got my times occupied by doing things I wanted, seeing true friends, cherishing times with my beloved parents, loving kinds of exercise and holding on to them, devoted myself into each moment of working and living. I started to enjoy cooking, designing my home and planting my rose garden. little dreams inside my heart turn into the most inspiring motivation of moving forward. but at the same time, I got the secret of living better, that is to enjoy and appreciate every moment of happiness.
when I was tired and cold, merely a cup of hot milk could make me satisfied and refueled to go further. its hard to explain such simple happiness to me as every one might have different definition of happiness. as we are only the master of ourselves, we cannot change the people around us, but we can change the people around us, hence for me, to see this world from the? good aspect, my world became smaller and simple as of happiness.
