FML囧文Today, I bought the girl I like a bouquet of roses saying "anonymous" on it, and left it on her front porch. She saw it, and called the guy she thought it was from. He said "you're welcome" and now they're going out. FML
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今天钧敞，我買了一個女孩等太，我喜歡一束玫瑰爷耀，上面寫著“無名氏”资柔，把它放在她的前廊上焙贷。她看見了，叫了那個她以為是從贿堰。他說：“歡迎你”辙芍，現(xiàn)在他們要出去了。FML
FML囧文Today, I announced mypregnancy（n. 懷孕羹与；豐富故硅，多產(chǎn)；意義深長） to my parents and family. Everybody was happy, except for my dad, who totally freaked out and won't talk to me. The reason: he secretly hoped that I would break up with my husband, and now that we're expecting a baby he can't "get rid of him" anymore. FML
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求助：爸爸看不上自己的男朋友注簿，想讓我們分手契吉，我該咋辦？ 最佳答案：關(guān)鍵位置得有人诡渴。樓主的爸爸不喜歡我的男朋友捐晶，于是我在最關(guān)鍵的位置安排了一個自己人，我現(xiàn)在懷孕了妄辩，希望我爸爸能開心惑灵。FML
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今天，我宣布我的父母和家人懷孕眼耀。大家都很高興英支，除了我的爸爸，他完全被嚇壞了哮伟，也不想和我說話干花。原因是：他暗地里希望我會和我的丈夫分手，現(xiàn)在我們期待著一個他再也擺脫不了的孩子楞黄。FML
FML囧文Today, after keeping myself awake coughing for 2 hours, I finally drifted off. My cat apparently thought I'd died, and gave me CPR. Now I have claw marks on my chest, and I'm still awake. FML
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我們家喵星人解開封印了池凄，臥槽，嚇我一跳鬼廓，今天不知咋的一只咳嗽肿仑，喘不過來氣，結(jié)果我們家喵以為我要死了居然跳到我身上給我做心臟復(fù)蘇，這特么的絕壁是一個喵星人的內(nèi)奸（PS：喵星人的技術(shù)真心不咋地尤慰，現(xiàn)在我的胸前都是丫給我撓的爪子恿笪）。FML
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今天伟端，我咳嗽了2個小時杯道，終于消失了。我的貓顯然以為我死了荔泳，給我心肺復(fù)蘇〗侗現(xiàn)在我的胸前有爪痕，我仍然清醒玛歌。FML
FML囧文Today, my girlfriend got jealous because I wanted to adopt a puppy. FML
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想買個狗昧港，結(jié)果看到狗的時候我女朋友吃醋了，現(xiàn)在我的選擇是做一只單身狗還是讓這只狗繼續(xù)單身支子。FML
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今天我女朋友吃醋了创肥，因為我想領(lǐng)養(yǎng)一只小狗。FML
FML囧文Today, a girl I've been talking to for a couple of weeks invited me to go see a movie with her. I drive halfway across town to meet her, but 40 mins into a 3-hour long film however, she started obviously fake-coughing and got up left the theater completely. FML
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我特么是遇到托兒了么值朋？網(wǎng)友給判斷下叹侄，前陣子從網(wǎng)上認識一姑娘，今天主動約我去看電影昨登，老子穿越了大半個城市開車去把人接上趾代，結(jié)果電影剛開始呢，這姑娘就干咳兩聲然后說出去一下就徹底走掉了丰辣，我是不是被人給涮了撒强？現(xiàn)在有專門做電影票的托兒？FML
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今天笙什，一個我跟她談了幾個星期的女孩邀請我和她一起去看電影飘哨。我開車穿過半個城市去接她，但40分鐘到一個小時長的電影但她開始明顯假咳嗽起身離開劇院完全琐凭。FML
FML囧文Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML
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擦芽隆，喵星人今天逆天了，我現(xiàn)在真的懷疑這貨不是一只喵统屈，今兒看到它想吐胚吁，怕把地板弄臟了就把丫放到屋子外面了，結(jié)果你猜怎么著愁憔？這個貨自己偷偷的從我們家的廚房的窗戶（廚房為了通風(fēng)留了一條小縫）縫里面擠進來了腕扶，然后在我們的廚房里面到處吐，誰特么跟我說這只是一直喵我跟誰急惩淳。FML
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今天蕉毯，我的貓看上去像是要吐，所以我把它放在思犁。不高興的情況下代虾，它跳到廚房窗臺和擠壓通過開放的窗口，只有彈丸嘔吐中旬跨越廚房柜臺激蹲。我發(fā)現(xiàn)在黃油毛團棉磨。FML
