20170516 [中英互譯] 世界上最棒的HR笑話

The best HR joke in the world! ?世界上最棒的HR笑話

關于HR的笑話不多,但下面這個不光有笑點疫诽,還反映了人才招聘中吸引候選人的一些亂象啦租。

有一位HR經(jīng)理很不幸被一輛巴士撞死了。她的靈魂到達天國之門羡洁,在門口圣彼得歡迎了她并說道:"在您安定下來前,我們有一個小小的問題爽丹。筑煮。。您要知道粤蝎,我們這從來沒有來過一位HR經(jīng)理真仲,所以還不是很清楚怎么做”。

"噢初澎,明白秸应,那可不可以讓我進去先?" 女士說碑宴。

“這個软啼,我很想這樣做”,圣彼得說延柠,“但我們有上司命令祸挪,指示讓您在地獄呆一天,再在天堂呆一天贞间,然后您可以選在哪兒永遠呆著"贿条。

"事實上雹仿,我想我選天堂",女士說整以。

”對不住胧辽,我們有規(guī)定。公黑。邑商。",還沒說完凡蚜,圣彼得已經(jīng)把這位HR經(jīng)理送進了下去地獄的電梯人断。

當?shù)鬲z之門打開時,她來到了一個漂亮的高爾夫球場番刊,不遠就是一個鄉(xiāng)村俱樂部,在她身邊圍著許多朋友和過去的同事們影锈,他們穿著得體芹务,為她的來到歡呼雀躍,還跑上來親她鸭廷,并開始聊起舊時光枣抱。

他們一起玩了一局高爾夫,再一起回到俱樂部辆床,在那她享用了超贊的牛排和龍蝦晚宴佳晶。她也有機會見到了魔鬼(看起來是個很不錯的人),在笑話和舞蹈中讼载,度過了一個難忘的夜晚轿秧。

不知不覺,是離開的時候了咨堤。每個人都和她揮手道別菇篡,送她走進電梯。電梯回到天堂一喘,等著她的圣彼得說:”好吧驱还,現(xiàn)在是時候在天堂呆上一天了”。

于是接下來的24個小時凸克,她在云端閑逛议蟆、玩玩豎琴唱唱歌,幾乎和在地獄的日子一樣享受萎战。

最后圣彼得回來咐容,“所以,您在地獄和天堂各呆了一天蚂维,現(xiàn)在疟丙,您必須在二個地方中選一個”颖侄。

這位女士想了一下說,“好吧享郊,天堂相當不錯览祖,但事實上我在地獄感覺更棒,我選擇地獄“炊琉。

于是展蒂,圣彼得把她又帶到了電梯里,她重新回到了地獄苔咪。當門打開時锰悼,她發(fā)現(xiàn)自己站在一個到處是垃圾和污物的荒涼之地,看到她的朋友們一個個衣衫襤褸在撿垃圾到舊麻袋里团赏。

這時魔鬼找到了她箕般。

"我不明白“,HR經(jīng)理結結巴巴的說:”上次我在這兒舔清,還有高爾夫球場丝里、鄉(xiāng)村俱樂部,我們一起吃龍蝦体谒,一起跳舞杯聚,很享受∈阊鳎可現(xiàn)在這兒的一切幌绍。。都變成了骯臟的垃圾場故响,我所有的朋友都看起來那么悲慘傀广。”

魔鬼只是看著她彩届,笑著說:“昨天我們是在招聘你主儡,今天你已經(jīng)是員工了”。

原文如下:

There aren’t that many HR jokes around, but this one not only takes the biscuit, but raises a number of issues about attracting candidates!

An HR manager was knocked down (tragically) by a bus and was killed. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter welcomed her. “Before you get settled in” he said, “We have a little problem…you see, we’ve never had a HR manager make it this far before and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

“Oh, I see,” said the woman, “can’t you just let me in?”

“Well, I’d like to,” said St Peter, “But I have higher orders. We’re instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you are to choose where you’d like to go for all eternity.”

“Actually, I think I’d prefer heaven”, said the woman. “Sorry, we have rules…” at which St. Peter put the HR manager into the downward bound elevator.

As the doors opened in Hell she stepped out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club; around her were many friends, past fellow executives, all smartly dressed, happy, and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times.

They played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil (who was actually rather nice) and she had a wonderful night telling jokes and dancing.

Before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she stepped into the elevator. The elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing the harp and singing; which was almost as enjoyable as her day in Hell. At the day’s end St. Peter returned. “So,” he said, “You’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven”. “You must choose between the two.”

The woman thought for a second and replied: “Well, heaven is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I choose Hell.”

Accordingly, St. Peter took her to the elevator again and she went back down to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in old sacks. The Devil approached and put his arm around her.

“I don’t understand,” stuttered the HR manager, “The other day I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club. We ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful happy time. Now all there is, is just dirty wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil simply looked at her and smiled, “Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re staff.”

;-)

作者:?B Thomas?Recruitment, Talent acquisition: Agency & Corporate


"本譯文僅供個人研習惨缆、欣賞語言之用糜值,謝絕任何轉(zhuǎn)載及用于任何商業(yè)用途。本譯文所涉法律后果均由本人承擔坯墨。本人同意簡書平臺在接獲有關著作權人的通知后寂汇,刪除文章。"

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