為什么拖延癥患者會拖延毁葱，真的是大家說的“懶癌”嗎箩艺，還是別有隱情 ...
pro-cras-ti-na-tion |pr??krast??nāSH?n, prō-| 拖延
noun 名詞
the action of delaying or postponing something: your first tip is to avoid procrastination.
延遲或推遲某事的舉動：我們給出的第一條建議是避免拖延
Who would have thought that after decades of struggle with procrastination, the dictionary, of all places, would hold the solution.
在與拖延癥曠日長久的抗?fàn)幹惺槟唬l能想到偏偏在字典里，就有解決的方法拴孤。
Avoid procrastination.So elegant in its simplicity.
避免拖延坷澡。真是簡單而優(yōu)雅的的解決方案。
While we’re here, let’s make sure obese people avoid overeating, depressed people avoid apathy, and someone please tell beached whales that they should avoid being out of the ocean.
既然說開了育谬，那我們就順便讓超重的人避免暴飲暴食券盅，讓抑郁的人避免顧影自憐，和擱淺的鯨魚說一聲它們應(yīng)該好好在海洋里呆著膛檀。
No, “avoid procrastination” is only good advice for fake procrastinators—those people that are like, “I totally go on Facebook a few times every day at work—I’m such a procrastinator!” The same people that will say to a real procrastinator something like, “Just don’t procrastinate and you’ll be fine.”
不锰镀，“避免拖延”這種口號只會對假拖延癥患者起效 —— 就是那些整天說著，“我每天上班都要刷好幾次臉書 —— 我有拖延癥咖刃！” 的人泳炉，那種人還會給真正的拖延癥患者瞎提建議，“你不拖延就沒事啦嚎杨『遥”
The thing that neither the dictionary nor fake procrastinators understand is that for a real procrastinator, procrastination isn’t optional—it’s something they don’t know how to not do.
字典和假拖延癥患者都無法理解的是，對于一個真正的拖延癥患者磕潮，拖不拖延不是由拖延癥患者說了算的 —— 他們對拖延真的無計可施翠胰。
In college, the sudden unbridled personal freedom was a disaster for me—I did nothing, ever, for any reason. The one exception was that I had to hand in papers from time to time. I would do those the night before, until I realized I could just do them through the night, and I did that until I realized I could actually start them in the early morning on the day they were due. This behavior reached caricature levels when I was unable to start writing my 90-page senior thesis until 72 hours before it was due, an experience that ended with me in the campus doctor’s office learning that lack of blood sugar was the reason my hands had gone numb and curled up against my will. (I did get the thesis in—no, it was not good.)
大學(xué)的時候，突如其來的自由對我來說是場災(zāi)難 —— 我整日無所事事自脯，漫無目的之景。唯一能讓我動起來的理由是我得時不時的交作業(yè)。一開始我在死線的前一個晚上開始寫膏潮，漸漸發(fā)現(xiàn)熬夜通宵也能做完锻狗，然后發(fā)現(xiàn)死線當(dāng)天的早上再開始寫也來得及。事態(tài)發(fā)展夸張到在畢業(yè)論文截止前72小時我才開始動筆寫90頁的畢業(yè)論文，最后進了校醫(yī)辦公室轻纪，這才知道我的手發(fā)麻和蜷縮是因為低血糖犯了油额。
Even this post took much longer than it should have, because I spent a bunch of hours doing things like seeing this picture sitting on my desktop from a previous post, opening it, looking at it for a long time thinking about how easily he could beat me in a fight, then wondering if he could beat a tiger in a fight, then wondering who would win between a lion and a tiger, and then googling that and reading about it for a while (the tiger would win). I have problems.
就連寫這篇文的時間也超出了我的預(yù)期，因為我花了大把時間坐在電腦面前看上一篇文里面的圖片 刻帚。我打開圖潦嘶，定定的盯著圖心想，他不費吹灰之力就能把我打趴在地崇众，然后我開始好奇他能不能干掉一頭老虎掂僵，之后我的思緒游蕩到獅子和老虎誰的武力值更勝一籌，接著我開始谷歌獅子和老虎的資料并全部讀了一遍（老虎會贏）顷歌。我知道我這個人有問題锰蓬。
To understand why procrastinators procrastinate so much, let’s start by understanding a non-procrastinator’s brain:
要知道為什么拖延癥患者會大事拖小事也拖的癥結(jié)所在，我們先來看看不拖延人士的大腦構(gòu)造：
Pretty normal, right? Now, let’s look at a procrastinator’s brain:
挺正常的赦抖，對吧冯勉？那我們來看看拖延癥患者的大腦：
Notice anything different?
找到不同了嗎？
It seems the Rational Decision-Maker in the procrastinator’s brain is coexisting with a pet—the Instant Gratification Monkey.
在拖延癥患者的大腦里面浮禾，理性決策者和一只寵物住在一起 —— 即時滿足猴子交胚。
This would be fine—cute, even—if the Rational Decision-Maker knew the first thing about how to own a monkey. But unfortunately, it wasn’t a part of his training and he’s left completely helpless as the monkey makes it impossible for him to do his job.
看上去很和諧 —— 畫面甚至挺可愛 —— 前提是理性決策者懂得如何管一只猴子。不幸的是盈电，理性決策者在管理猴子上一竅不通蝴簇，面對猴子的干擾，他束手無策匆帚。
The fact is, the Instant Gratification Monkey is the last creature who should be in charge of decisions—he thinks only about the present, ignoring lessons from the past and disregarding the future altogether, and he concerns himself entirely with maximizing the ease and pleasure of the current moment. He doesn’t understand the Rational Decision-Maker any better than the Rational Decision-Maker understands him—why would we continue doing this jog, he thinks, when we could stop, which would feel better. Why would we practice that instrument when it’s not fun? Why would we ever use a computer for work when the internet is sitting right there waiting to be played with? He thinks humans are insane.
事實是田篇，即時滿足猴子是你絕對不想看到的那種決策者 —— 它只能看懂眼前，不管歷史教訓(xùn)也不想未來事箍铭，完全沉浸于最簡單舒適的快樂中泊柬。它不理解理性決策者，理性決策者也不能理解它 —— 它不懂我們?yōu)槭裁匆苷┗穑瑸槭裁床煌Ｏ聛硇菹⑹蘖蓿髅餍菹⒏娣槭裁次覀円隹菰锓ξ兜臉菲饔?xùn)練柄瑰？為什么互聯(lián)網(wǎng)上的樂子唾手可得我們卻用電腦來工作？它覺得人類都瘋了剪况。
In the monkey world, he’s got it all figured out—if you eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired and don’t do anything difficult, you’re a pretty successful monkey. The problem for the procrastinator is that he happens to live in the human world, making the Instant Gratification Monkey a highly unqualified navigator. Meanwhile, the Rational Decision-Maker, who was trained to make rational decisions, not to deal with competition over the controls, doesn’t know how to put up an effective fight—he just feels worse and worse about himself the more he fails and the more the suffering procrastinator whose head he’s in berates him.
在猴子的世界教沾，本能驅(qū)使著一切 —— 餓了吃，困了睡译断，不用做什么復(fù)雜的事授翻，你就是一只成功猴子了。拖延癥患者之所以是拖延癥患者因為他們生活在人類世界孙咪，而即時滿足猴子是個極度不合格的向?qū)Э疤啤＠硇詻Q策者天生就懂得怎么幫我們理智的做決定，可他在搶奪話語權(quán)時卻爭不過猴子 —— 于是理性決策者屢次失敗翎蹈，然后看到拖延癥患者更加水深火熱淮菠，他自我感覺更差了。
It’s a mess. And with the monkey in charge, the procrastinator finds himself spending a lot of time in a place called the Dark Playground.
日子過的一團糟荤堪。尤其是猴子掌管后合陵，拖延癥患者發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在一個叫黑暗游樂場的地方消磨了好多時間。
The Dark Playground is a place every procrastinator knows well. It’s a place where leisure activities happen at times when leisure activities are not supposed to be happening. The fun you have in the Dark Playground isn’t actually fun because it’s completely unearned and the air is filled with guilt, anxiety, self-hatred, and dread. Sometimes the Rational Decision-Maker puts his foot down and refuses to let you waste time doing normal leisure things, and since the Instant Gratification Monkey sure as hell isn’t gonna let you work, you find yourself in a bizarre purgatory of weird activities where everyone loses.
黑暗游樂園是一個所有拖延癥患者都心知肚明的地方澄阳。一個你明明該工作了卻還在這里玩的地方拥知。在黑暗游樂園得到的快樂從來都不是真正的快樂，因為你在這里不能心安理得的享受碎赢，空氣中充滿了罪惡低剔、緊張、自怨和恐懼肮塞，讓你在玩的時候心驚膽戰(zhàn)襟齿。有時候理性決策者會擺出強硬的態(tài)度，拒絕在無意義的消遣上浪費時間枕赵，即時滿足猴子又會跳出來鬧事蕊唐，讓你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己處于兩難的煉獄中，怎么樣都是一敗涂地的局面烁设。
And the poor Rational Decision-Maker just mopes, trying to figure out how he let the human he’s supposed to be in charge of end up here again.
可憐的理性決策者又消沉起來，并試圖弄清楚他管理的人類為什么又雙叒失控狈孔。
Given this predicament, how does the procrastinator ever manage to accomplish anything?
這種困境下，拖延癥患者怎么可能完成任何事情均抽？
As it turns out, there’s one thing that scares the shit out of the Instant Gratification Monkey:
事實證明嫁赏，即時滿足猴子怕一樣?xùn)|西怕的要命：
The Panic Monster is dormant most of the time, but he suddenly wakes up when a deadline gets too close or when there’s danger of public embarrassment, a career disaster, or some other scary consequence.
恐慌怪獸大部分時間都在休眠狀態(tài)，但在死線臨近油挥，可能會在公眾場合丟臉潦蝇，事業(yè)出現(xiàn)危機，或者可能發(fā)生其他可怕后果時深寥，他就會醒過來攘乒。
The Instant Gratification Monkey, normally unshakable, is terrified of the Panic Monster. How else could you explain the same person who can’t write a paper’s introductory sentence over a two-week span suddenly having the ability to stay up all night, fighting exhaustion, and write eight pages? Why else would an extraordinarily lazy person begin a rigorous workout routine other than a Panic Monster freakout about becoming less attractive?
即時滿足猴子的意志通常是不可動搖的堤魁，但它可以被恐慌怪獸嚇跑。不然你要怎么解釋同一個人返十，用兩周的時間都寫不出論文的介紹開場白妥泉，突然之間能夠通宵達旦，不顧疲倦的寫出八頁紙洞坑？一個超級懶人如果不是怕被人嫌棄身材走樣盲链，怎么能夠嚴(yán)格執(zhí)行健身計劃？
And these are the lucky procrastinators—there are some who don’t even respond to the Panic Monster, and in the most desperate moments they end up running up the tree with the monkey, entering a state of self-annihilating shutdown.
這種拖延癥患者算幸運的 —— 還有一些拖延癥患者連恐慌怪獸也救不了他們迟杂，遇到極度絕望的境地時他們要么選擇和猴子一起逃到樹上刽沾，要么開始自憐自艾的自我封閉。
Quite a crowd we are.
人類真是千奇百怪啊排拷。
Of course, this is no way to live. Even for the procrastinator who does manage to eventually get things done and remain a competent member of society, something has to change. Here are the main reasons why:
當(dāng)然侧漓，這樣過日子是不行的。即使拖延癥患者最后把任務(wù)完成了监氢，維持了表面的體面布蔗，整件事情的意義還是大不一樣藤违。下面細細分解：
1) It’s unpleasant. Far too much of the procrastinator’s precious time is spent toiling in the Dark Playground, time that could have been spent enjoying satisfying, well-earned leisure if things had been done on a more logical schedule. And panic isn’t fun for anyone.
1）拖延的經(jīng)歷不愉快。 太多拖延癥患者把寶貴的時間虛耗在黑暗游樂園了纵揍，假如事情能夠按計劃有條理的進行顿乒，他們本可以享受干完活后應(yīng)得的心滿意足和閑暇安逸時光。 誰都不喜歡被恐懼支配著干活泽谨。
2) The procrastinator ultimately sells himself short. He ends up underachieving and fails to reach his potential, which eats away at him over time and fills him with regret and self-loathing.
2）拖延癥患者會自己看扁自己璧榄。 完成的任務(wù)并沒有達到預(yù)期的高度也沒有反應(yīng)出拖延癥患者的真實水平，長期以往就會悔恨和自厭會蠶食拖延癥患者的整個心靈吧雹。
3) The Have-To-Dos may happen, but not the Want-To-Dos. Even if the procrastinator is in the type of career where the Panic Monster is regularly present and he’s able to be fulfilled at work, the other things in life that are important to him—getting in shape, cooking elaborate meals, learning to play the guitar, writing a book, reading, or even making a bold career switch—never happen because the Panic Monster doesn’t usually get involved with those things. Undertakings like those expand our experiences, make our lives richer, and bring us a lot of happiness—and for most procrastinators, they get left in the dust.
3） 必須做的事情或許能完成骨杂，但是想做的事情就永遠不會去做。 就算拖延癥患者正好因職業(yè)需求時時有恐慌怪獸在身后監(jiān)管工作雄卷，他人生中其他重要的事情 —— 練出好身材搓蚪，烹飪美食，學(xué)會彈吉他龙亲，寫書陕凹，閱讀悍抑，甚至進軍新的職業(yè)領(lǐng)域 —— 永遠都不會發(fā)生鳄炉，因為恐慌怪獸通常不會在這些事情上現(xiàn)身。這些事情能增加我們的閱歷搜骡，讓人生更加豐富拂盯，也會帶來數(shù)不盡的快樂 —— 而拖延癥患者，就只能與這些美好無緣了记靡。
So how can a procrastinator improve and become happier? See Part 2, How To Beat Procrastination.
拖延癥患者怎樣改變現(xiàn)狀谈竿，找到快樂呢? 詳情請看第二彈, 怎么打敗拖延癥.
轉(zhuǎn)載自Why Procrastinators Procrastinate by Tim Urban (Posted October 30, 2013)
