一邊干活一邊用手機(jī)隨意聽(tīng)歌,忽然耳邊飄過(guò)一縷熟悉的旋律坤检,一時(shí)怔住兴猩。
這首歌,很多年以前早歇,曾經(jīng)有人要我?guī)兔Ψg歌詞倾芝。看似簡(jiǎn)單之極的幾句話箭跳,卻難住了我晨另。后來(lái)勉強(qiáng)交差,卻一直沒(méi)有真正領(lǐng)會(huì)它的意思∑仔眨現(xiàn)在重新遇見(jiàn)借尿,又在網(wǎng)上翻了許久,竟依然不得要領(lǐng)逝段。知乎上也有提問(wèn):歌曲《Dying in the sun》營(yíng)造的是一種什么樣的意境垛玻?也沒(méi)有看到什么給力的答復(fù)割捅。
眾說(shuō)紛紜中,一度看到有人解釋為“在陽(yáng)光下做愛(ài)”帚桩,難道dying是“欲仙欲死”亿驾?迷之尷尬。
網(wǎng)上的中文簡(jiǎn)介里有暗示了戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)的傷痕什么的账嚎。大抵是因?yàn)檫@張專(zhuān)輯的名稱(chēng)《Bury the Hatchet》(和解莫瞬,休戰(zhàn)),聯(lián)想到時(shí)代背景而闡發(fā)演義出來(lái)的(這張專(zhuān)輯的推出是1999年4月19日郭蕉,北約發(fā)動(dòng)對(duì)南聯(lián)盟空襲戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)后的第31天——據(jù)百度詞條)疼邀。然而B(niǎo)ury the Hatchet主要是指樂(lè)隊(duì)在合作不利甚至鬧解散多年后終于言歸于好這件事吧,或許中文更好的譯法是《冰釋前嫌》(嗯召锈,在豆瓣上看到是《破鏡重圓》)旁振。
不管怎么說(shuō),這首《Dying in the Sun》涨岁,如此溫柔優(yōu)美拐袜,歌詞也簡(jiǎn)單,單詞個(gè)個(gè)都認(rèn)識(shí)梢薪,然而究竟是在說(shuō)什么蹬铺,卻一直紛紛擾擾,網(wǎng)上的翻譯也各執(zhí)一詞秉撇,幾乎惹翻了我的強(qiáng)迫癥甜攀。
直到在一個(gè)Cranberriesworld的網(wǎng)站上,找到了以下這個(gè)內(nèi)容琐馆,有醍醐灌頂之感:
In an interview given to Dave Fanning(Ovation’s Music Express, 1999) Dolores explained that she wrote Dying in theSun during when she was pregnant of her first child, she said about the song:“I was looking back at the negative me, that kind of sad period I went throughand I was kinda say I never want to go back to that, now I’m moving forward andI’m becoming a happy person like I used to be always.”
在接受戴夫-范寧(Dave Fanning规阀,Ovation音樂(lè)速遞, 1999)采訪時(shí),桃樂(lè)絲解釋道啡捶,她寫(xiě)《Dying In Sun》的時(shí)候姥敛,正懷著她第一個(gè)孩子。關(guān)于這首歌瞎暑,她說(shuō):“我回首過(guò)往彤敛,看到那個(gè)消極的我,看到我經(jīng)歷過(guò)的那個(gè)悲傷時(shí)段了赌,我對(duì)自己說(shuō)墨榄,我永遠(yuǎn)不想再回到那個(gè)狀態(tài)中去了,現(xiàn)在我正在往前走勿她,我正在變成一個(gè)快樂(lè)的人袄秩,就像從前一樣。”
In an interview to Launch (1999), Doloressaid: “So we went off and discovered our own lives. I got pregnant, and then Istarted writing songs. I remember writing the first song at the piano. It wasreally beautiful; it was called “Dying In The Sun.” It’s the last track on the[new] album. I remember that I was teary and kind of happy because I couldwrite again, because I wanted to write again. I think I was about four monthspregnant; it was around that time that the baby moved, and the inspiration justcame out. I was really happy, because it was really scary to hate music andhate singing.”
在接受Launch(1999)的采訪時(shí)之剧,桃樂(lè)絲說(shuō):“所以我們走開(kāi)了郭卫,去發(fā)現(xiàn)我們自己的生活。我懷孕了背稼,然后我開(kāi)始寫(xiě)歌贰军。我記得自己在鋼琴上寫(xiě)下第一首歌時(shí)的情形。那首歌真的很美蟹肘,歌名叫“Dying in the Sun”词疼。就是[新]專(zhuān)輯的最后一首。我記得那時(shí)我流淚了帘腹,我很開(kāi)心贰盗,因?yàn)槲矣帜軐?xiě)歌了,因?yàn)槲乙恢毕朐賹?xiě)歌阳欲。我想我那個(gè)時(shí)候已經(jīng)懷孕四個(gè)月了舵盈。差不多是那個(gè)時(shí)候,寶寶在肚子動(dòng)了胸完,靈感一下子出現(xiàn)了书释。我真的很開(kāi)心,因?yàn)楹抟魳?lè)赊窥、恨唱歌的感覺(jué),真的很可怕狸页∠悄埽”
在此之前,the Cranberries沉寂數(shù)年芍耘,并曾傳出即將解散的消息址遇。桃樂(lè)絲困于由壓力引起的各種疾病(stress-induced diseases)斋竞,用了相當(dāng)長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間去治療和康復(fù)倔约,并懷孕生下了第一個(gè)孩子。如她所述坝初,是新生命在腹中的萌動(dòng)驚醒了自己內(nèi)在的生命力——她又回來(lái)了浸剩,并爆發(fā)出驚人的創(chuàng)造力■郏《Bury the Hatchet》整張專(zhuān)輯的詞和大部分曲子均出自她手绢要。
基于以上,回到Dying In the Sun這個(gè)短語(yǔ)再品味一下拗小,其實(shí)正是字面的意思:在太陽(yáng)下慢慢枯萎/死去重罪。這分明是抑郁癥的感受——不要問(wèn)我怎么知道的:周?chē)苊髁粒澜缈雌饋?lái)沒(méi)什么不對(duì),而你獨(dú)自一人剿配,在熱烘烘的陽(yáng)光下搅幅,在大街上,在川流不息的人群中呼胚,孤獨(dú)焦灼欲死茄唐,連身邊車(chē)水馬龍的喧囂都特別遙遠(yuǎn)。有那么一瞬間砸讳,灼烈的光線忽然顫抖起來(lái)琢融,萬(wàn)事萬(wàn)物都像一面劣質(zhì)的鏡面中的影子般,扭曲變形簿寂。
但她終于重新活了過(guò)來(lái)漾抬,感受到愛(ài),生命力被觸發(fā)常遂。十指纖纖在鋼琴上自由舞動(dòng)纳令,她內(nèi)心流淌出這樣的歌:終于找到力氣,告別黑暗過(guò)往克胳,對(duì)新生對(duì)復(fù)蘇充滿(mǎn)了感激平绩,對(duì)未來(lái)則不免新奇膽怯,但開(kāi)始有勇氣去探出腳步漠另。
或許這正是歌詞在描述悲傷暗郁捏雌,而音樂(lè)卻極致溫柔舒展的原因吧:啊,我怎么會(huì)那樣呢笆搓?怎么會(huì)長(zhǎng)久沉浸在黑暗中性湿,讓悲傷襲擊了自己?我明明是在拼盡力氣想要變得完美满败,卻為何弄得事事一團(tuán)糟肤频?
是的,我醒過(guò)來(lái)了算墨。但我依然脆弱宵荒,請(qǐng)抓緊我,扶持我净嘀,讓我們?cè)僖膊灰埂?/p>
依據(jù)最新的理解报咳,再次試譯歌詞如下:
Do you rememberthe things we used to say?
你還記得嗎,我們過(guò)去常常聊起的事情面粮?
I feel so nervous when I think of yesterday少孝,
一想起昨日,我如此緊張不寧熬苍。
How could I letthings get to me so bad?
我怎么會(huì)被那些糟糕的事纏咨宰摺袁翁?
How did I letthings get to me?
怎么會(huì)讓那些事情困住我
Like dying in thesun
就像在太陽(yáng)下慢慢枯萎
Will you hold onto me
請(qǐng)你抓緊我,
I am feeling frail
我感覺(jué)如此脆弱
Will you hold onto me
請(qǐng)你抓緊我婿脸,
We will never fail
我們永不再跌落粱胜。
I wanted to be soperfect you see
我曾經(jīng)想要如此完美,你看狐树,
I wanted to be soperfect
我曾經(jīng)想要如此完美焙压,
Like dying in thesun
就像在太陽(yáng)下慢慢枯萎。
盡管抑钟,十九年后涯曲,她似乎依然是跌落在抑郁癥的魔掌之下。但美麗綻放過(guò)的生命在塔,再不會(huì)被忘記幻件。
四月未遠(yuǎn),僅以此作一個(gè)小小的悼念蛔溃。