孩子傻唾，如果有人打了你

Hi, my dear kid, what if you were bullied?

1

教育界曾經(jīng)有一個(gè)課題是：“你的孩子投慈，如果被別的孩子打了承耿，你會(huì)教育孩子怎么辦？”

辯論很多伪煤，印象最深的是四個(gè)觀點(diǎn)：

Parents and teachers are, more often than not, concerned

about this question:“What ideas could you offer your kid if he were bullied by

other kids?”

1.用合適的方式告訴長(zhǎng)輩加袋。

1. Let your

parents or family know it in the proper way.

2.要盡量避免正面沖突。

2. Try to avoid the head-on confrontation.

3.如果不是什么大事抱既，則要懂得吃虧职烧。

3. Just take it lying down if it is not a serious case.

4.打回去啊。

4. Just fight back.

從前防泵，我對(duì)這個(gè)課題一直保持著一定的距離蚀之。因?yàn)樵S多年前，我還沒(méi)有孩子捷泞，人生的重心足删，就是一個(gè)人的成長(zhǎng)。我也不會(huì)想到锁右，多年之后失受，當(dāng)我自己遇到“孩子被打”后，孩子自己的反應(yīng)咏瑟，會(huì)顯得如此寬容和理解拂到。

In the past I was not quite interested in such a topic as

I didn’t have any kid many years ago and I only

paid attention to my personal growth. To my surprise, many years later when I

faced the fact that“my kid was beaten

by other kids”, the immediate

response from my kid seemed to be so tolerant and considerate.

2

前些日子，和女兒去游樂(lè)園玩响蕴。周末的游樂(lè)場(chǎng)就像一個(gè)巨大的澡堂谆焊，每個(gè)人都自顧自，似乎沒(méi)什么交集浦夷。

Some days ago, I took Daughter to Amusement Park, which issomething like a huge bathhouse at weekends, and where everyone just caredabout themselves without any communication at all.

女兒很喜歡去游樂(lè)場(chǎng)辖试，三歲了，孩子多的地方劈狐，似乎總是感覺(jué)有了自己的小世界罐孝。

My 3-year-olddaughter loves this place, particularly a place crowded with kids, which seemsto be her small world.

忽然間，一個(gè)男孩沖了過(guò)來(lái)肥缔，奪女兒手中的玩具莲兢，并狠狠地用手打了女兒的臉。我為什么覺(jué)得這是狠的续膳，因?yàn)榕畠旱哪樢幌伦悠擦诉^(guò)去改艇。

All of asudden, a boy rushed toward her, tearing her toy away from her hands and hittingher hard in the face. Why did I say the hit was so hard because she turned herface aside with the slap.

女兒沒(méi)有哭，她比我的反應(yīng)更加決斷和直接坟岔，她伸手打了那個(gè)小男孩谒兄，打在了那個(gè)男孩子的手臂。

Daughter didn’t cry but stretchedout her hand to beat that boy on the arm, which was a direct and resolute responsefaster than I could do anything.

男孩子開始大哭社付，我和女兒站在原地承疲。女兒還是會(huì)膽小邻耕，不停地往我身上湊。但她知道燕鸽，我從來(lái)不隨意批評(píng)她兄世，犯錯(cuò)需要承擔(dān)責(zé)任，女兒并不是主要的過(guò)錯(cuò)一方啊研。

The boy burst out crying and Daughter and I stayed put.After all, Daughter was quite nervous and tried to move closer to me. However,she knows that I never scold or blame her indiscriminately. Anyone shall beliable for having made a mistake, but Daughter is not the wrongdoer who shouldassume the lion’s share of responsibilities.

男孩撒潑打滾躺在地上御滩。我和女兒站在一邊。我也是第一次看到這樣的孩子悲伶。我一直覺(jué)得艾恼，每一個(gè)孩子的模樣，就是原生家庭的教養(yǎng)麸锉。那種深刻的印記，是逃也逃不掉的舆声。

The boy made a scene by rolling on theground while crying bitterly. I stood there with Daughter, and this is thefirst time I can see a kid of that kind. In my opinion, the way each kidbehaves represents the cultivation of the original family. However, thisimpression is deeply ingrained in my mind.

他的母親跑了過(guò)來(lái)花沉，抱著兒子說(shuō)，是不是妹妹打了你媳握，是不是妹妹打了你碱屁。那鏡頭，我恍惚間覺(jué)得自己在看電視劇蛾找。

Over ran his mama, and picked him up,

saying,“Didn’t the girl

beat you? Just let me know!”I dimly felt that

that scene was just like the one in a TV play.

男孩子自然忘了自己伸手先打了我的女兒娩脾，只說(shuō)“妹妹打我”。他的母親一邊斜著眼打毛，一邊惡狠狠地對(duì)我說(shuō)：你得讓你女兒道歉柿赊。

The boy naturally forgot that fact that it

was him who first hit my daughter, but only replied,“Yeah, it is

her”. His mom gave us a sideways glance and called

out to me,“You have to ask your daughter to say sorry.”

而她似乎并沒(méi)有看到，女兒臉上還有她兒子打的淺淺的掌印幻枉。

But she didn’t seem tosee the shallow palm print left on the face of my daughter.

我覺(jué)得我有必要告訴她碰声，這個(gè)事情的過(guò)程：

I thought it quite necessary to let her know the ins andouts of the matter:

一、你兒子先打了我女兒熬甫，而且打在臉上胰挑，你兒子手上的玩具就是從我女兒手上奪來(lái)的。

1. It was your son who hit my daughter on

the face first and the toy in his hand is the one torn away from my daughter’s hand.

二椿肩、我女兒臉上還有你兒子打的手印瞻颂，你可以仔細(xì)看。

2. There is the clear mark of your son’s handprints on her face, so just have a good look.

三郑象、你兒子向我女兒道歉的話贡这，我女兒也可以向你兒子道歉。

3. If your son first apologizeto her and she may also say sorry to him.

那個(gè)家長(zhǎng)斜了我一眼扣唱，抱著兒子就走藕坯。

She lookedaskance at me and away she went with her son in her arms.

女兒看起來(lái)很高興团南，這個(gè)大大咧咧的孩子啊，第一次摟著我又親又抱炼彪。我知道吐根，女兒喜歡我的決定。

Daughter was quite happy as a carefree girl,

and hugged and kissed me for the first time. As I know, Daughter buys my final

say.

3

說(shuō)真的辐马，這些年看到很多“孩子傷害孩子”的新聞：

As a matter of fact, we have seen a lot of news reportsabout “bullies among kids”.

2015年拷橘，某個(gè)小學(xué)生因?yàn)楸煌榔圬?fù)，同桌經(jīng)常用筆戳她的手臂喜爷，還各種侮辱她冗疮，導(dǎo)致神經(jīng)衰弱，不敢上學(xué)檩帐，最后嚴(yán)重到一聽(tīng)說(shuō)上學(xué)术幔，就渾身發(fā)抖。欺負(fù)她的那個(gè)學(xué)生家長(zhǎng)是學(xué)校的一個(gè)老師湃密，所以班主任并沒(méi)有對(duì)欺負(fù)的同學(xué)做出任何處理诅挑，聽(tīng)之任之，一直到這件事被媒體爆出泛源，才對(duì)欺負(fù)的同學(xué)進(jìn)行管教拔妥。

In 2015 aprimary school student was bullied by her deskmate who often jabbed her in thearm with a pen coupled with all kinds of other insults, causing her to sufferfrom neurasthenia and refuse to go back to school. So in the end she was tremblingall over at the mere mention of school. The parent of the bully is a teacher ofthe school, so the head teacher didn’t do anything about the bully but letthings drift. It was not until this matter was exposed by the media that thehead teacher began to discipline the boy.

2015年，“高中女生遭同學(xué)輪番施暴达箍，不敢吱聲”視頻傳在網(wǎng)上引發(fā)熱議没龙，畫面中，那個(gè)女生不斷地被扇耳光缎玫，卻一聲不吭硬纤。

In 2015 a video entitled“a senior

high school girl cruelly assaulted into silence by classmates”was posted online, causing a big stir among the public.In the video the victim was repeatedly slapped into silence.

我一直覺(jué)得，性格的所有線索都可以追溯至童年碘梢。凱瑟琳·凱利·萊內(nèi)曾經(jīng)有一句話是咬摇，為什么童年的記憶特別真切，那是因?yàn)樗鼈兪亲畛醯娜松w驗(yàn)煞躬，帶著某種特殊的味道肛鹏。

I alwaysthink that all clues of the personal character can be traced back to his or herchildhood. Kathleen Kelley-Laine once remarked, “how come that the memory ofchildhood is especially true as they represent the initial life experience witha special flavor.”

一個(gè)人長(zhǎng)大后的樣子，或多或少是童年許多個(gè)瞬間堆積而成的恩沛。這件華麗的袍子充滿著時(shí)間的虱子在扰，它們牢牢地抓著，怎么也甩不掉雷客。

When aperson grows up, what he is now is based on many a moment of his childhood. Thismagnificent robe is fully covered with the lice of the time: they just stick onand reject to fall down anyhow.

我常常在想一句話：不傷人是一種教養(yǎng)芒珠，但不被別人傷害是一種氣場(chǎng)。而這一點(diǎn)搅裙，或許從孩子開始面對(duì)這個(gè)世界皱卓，就開始需要讓他知道了裹芝。

More oftenthan not, I think of such a saying:Not hurting

or harming others is an upbringing, but not being hurt or harmed is a positive temperament.

As such, maybe a kid shall be encouraged to face this world and know some Do’s

and Don’ts.

4

我婆婆曾經(jīng)很奇怪的問(wèn)我：在別人打了女兒之后，看到女兒沖過(guò)去還擊娜汁，也從不把她拉回來(lái)嫂易。

My mother-in-law once asked me weirdly,“When you saw your daughter was beaten and she rushed up

to fight back, why didn’t you pull her

back?”

我說(shuō)，我相信一個(gè)孩子的判斷掐禁。而事實(shí)也證明怜械，在孩子的心中，永遠(yuǎn)是愛(ài)憎分明的傅事，他們對(duì)愛(ài)她的人充滿著好感缕允，對(duì)傷害她的人會(huì)回?fù)簟６@又是人最初也最珍貴的棱角蹭越。

I answered, I trust it was the judgment

made by a kid. However, the fact turns out that kids can always draw a clear

distinction between Love and Hate in their hearts. They show great affection

toward the people kind and friendly to them and will fight back to those

hurting or harming them, which is the most valuable edge angle in early life.

我一直不贊成從前的教育方式障本，對(duì)別人的傷害要忍讓，甚至要以德報(bào)怨般又，因?yàn)槲矣X(jué)得被傷害后不反抗彼绷，會(huì)讓孩子漸漸失去對(duì)這個(gè)世界最初的好惡的判斷，讓傷害的人知道自己不可以隨意被傷害茴迁，其實(shí)就是一種本能。

I am not quite in favor of the previous education model,requiring the tolerance of the hurt or harm caused by others even by returninggood for evil because I think that a kid can gradually lose his or her firstlikes and dislikes for the world if he or she does not fight back while beinghurt and that is an instinct to let the hurt persons know they can not beeasily hurt.

所以萤衰，孩子堕义，如果有人打你，你一定要尊重精神和肉體的第一意愿脆栋，不害怕地反抗倦卖；孩子，如果有人打你椿争，你一定要披好你的鎧甲怕膛，讓他們無(wú)處可攻；孩子秦踪，如果有人打你褐捻，一定要學(xué)會(huì)立即保護(hù)自己，必要的時(shí)候這樣的保護(hù)可能是躲避椅邓，也可能是還擊柠逞，在不得不還擊的時(shí)候，一定要立即出手景馁，保護(hù)好自己板壮，但我們的出手行為只是為了保護(hù)自己，絕不是為了造成二次的傷害合住。

So my dear kid, if you are bullied, youmust respect the first will of the spirit and body to fight back without fearand you must be well armored against any attach from others; my dear kid, ifyou are bullied, you must learn to immediately protect yourself, which may be awise escape for a proper protection as occasion requires, and sure you canfight back when you have to, and that to protect yourself with immediatereaction. But our reaction is only to protect ourselves without causing thesecondary harm or hurt.

不進(jìn)一寸绰精，也不失一毫撒璧。

Never go aninch more, nor do you lose a dime.

我始終覺(jué)得，這個(gè)世界從來(lái)是有經(jīng)緯度的笨使，不會(huì)因?yàn)槟愕娜套尪s水卿樱，也不會(huì)因?yàn)槟愕膹?qiáng)悍而膨脹，你要懂得游刃有余最好的方式是阱表，內(nèi)心柔軟而有原則殿如，身披鎧甲而有溫度。

Constantlydo I feel that this world tends to have its latitude and longitude without any shrinkagedue to your tolerance, nor does it dilate due to your valiance. You must keepin mind the best way to handle a tough situation: Retain a tender heart and disciplineyourself and be well armored but with warmth.

孩子最爬，做一個(gè)勇敢而溫暖的孩子涉馁，不暖到燙傷自己，也不冷到凍傷身體爱致，如果有人打你烤送，就勇敢地按照自己的方式回?fù)簟Ｄ愕幕負(fù)粼綌S地有聲糠悯，你的未來(lái)更充滿坦途帮坚。

My dear kid,be a brave and warm kid. Try to be warm enough not to hurt yourself and try tobe cold-tempered but not to have the cold injury. If you are bullied, boldlyfight back in your own manner. The harder you can fight back, the smoother andbrighter your future will be.

沒(méi)有人可以照顧你一生，而你要學(xué)會(huì)愛(ài)著自己互艾，從現(xiàn)在開始试和。

No one can look after you all your life, so

just start from now on to learn how to take good care of yourself.

閻成席翻譯