Text A: Successful English Learner

By Tomasz P. Szynalski

I started learning English when I was 6 years old. For 8 years I learned English the way everybody does — by going to English classes. It was awfully ineffective. I did everything that the teachers told me to do: the homework assignments, everything. But I didn’t get any results. At least, no impressive results. I mean, I was always one of the best students in class. Still, reading English texts took me a long time, I made lots of mistakes when writing, my pronunciation was bad, and I could only speak English very slowly. Eight years of sacrifices, and these were the results ...

In 1993, I got into the best high school in my city. It had a special program with a lot of English classes. I owe a lot to the people I met there, both students and teachers. My first two years in high school were very important for my English. My English teacher gave a lot of good advice, especially on pronunciation and vocabulary. My good friends were all fantastic English learners. I didn’t want to be worse than them, so I studied harder, and my English improved.

Following the advice from my English teacher and the example of my friends, I made some good decisions during my first year in high school. I learned English phonetics, started using English-English dictionaries, listening to recordings and English-language TV, and talking to native speakers every chance I got. The result: I improved my pronunciation, I was no longer afraid to speak English, and I could understand spoken English quite well, too.

During the summer vacation of 1994 I started reading books in English, mostly novels. I would learn a lot of new words from these books, but I had terrible problems memorizing them. I had to look up the same word many times, which was quite annoying. I realized I needed a way to remember all this vocabulary. In February 1995, I started my collection of English words. It was a breakthrough for me. I would come back from school, and then spend an hour or two adding words from the books that I read to my collection and repeating some of the words every day. After two years, my collection had 3,000 English words. With all the reading, my vocabulary, which used to be my weakness, became my strength.

In late 1995, I got on the Internet, and soon started to write more and more e-mail in English. It was excellent writing practice — something I had lacked before. Around 1997, a friend of mine and I decided to use English to communicate. (We still do.) Another good decision, which improved my ability to speak English.

Today, I think I use English more than my first language. Certainly there is no big difference between using my first language and using English. Over 90% of my e-mail is written in English. Most of my reading (websites and books) is in English, too. Speaking is no problem. I can go to any English-speaking country and communicate easily. Actually, during my trips to England and America I was taken for a native speaker a few times. It felt great!

I am addicted to English. I love the language, and I love using it. I like writing English sentences, speaking English to native speakers, reading books and the Web, watching American movies, and so on. I like the intellectual challenge of using a foreign language. When I learn something new about English, I feel I’m getting better and more powerful.

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Text B: Our Crazy Language

English is the most widely-used language in the history of our planet. One in every seven human beings can speak it. More than half of the world’s books and three-quarters of international mail are in English. Of all language, English has the largest vocabulary—perhaps as many as two million words—and one of the noblest bodies of the literature.

Nevertheless, let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, neither pine nor apple in pineapple and no ham in a hamburger. Sweetmeats are candy, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But when we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, public bathrooms have no baths in them.

And why is it that a writer writes, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn’t the plural of booth be beeth? One goose, two geese—so one, moose, two meese?

If the teacher taught, why isn’t it true that the preacher praught? If a horsehair mat is made from the hair of horses and a camel-hair coat from the hair of camels, from what is mohair coat made? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? Ship by truck and cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a smile chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are like?How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?

You must be shocked at a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t really a race at all). That is why, when stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible. And why, when I wind up this essay I end it.

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Unit 2

Text A: Cambridge– the University Town

When we say that Cambridge is a university town we do not mean just that it is a town with a university in it. Some other cities also have universities in them, but we do not call them university towns. A university town is one where there is no clear separation between the university buildings and the rest of the city. The university is not just one part of the town; it is all over the town. The heart of Cambridge has its shops, pubs, marketplace and so on, but most of it is university – colleges, faculties, libraries, clubs and other places for university staff and students. Students fill the shops, cafés, museums, banks and churches, making these as well part of the university.

The town was there first. Two Roman roads crossed there, and there are signs of buildings before Roman times. Later Cambridge became a center of learning, and the authority of the head of the university, chancellor, was recognized by the King in 1226.

At that time many of the students were very young (about fifteen), and many of the teachers were not more than twenty-one. At first they found lodgings where they could, but many students were too poor to afford lodgings. Colleges were opened so that students could live cheaply. This was the beginning of the college system which has continued at Cambridge up to the present day.

The colleges were built with money from kings, queens, religious houses or other sources. Today there are over thirty colleges. The newest are University College, founded in 1965, and Clare Hall, founded in 1966. Very few students can now live in college for the whole of their course; the numbers are too great. Many of them live in lodgings at first and move into college for their final year. But every student is a member of his college from the beginning. He must eat a number of meals in the college hall each week. His social and sports life centers on the college, although he will also join various university societies and clubs. To make this clearer, take the imaginary case of John Holt.

He is an undergraduate at Queen’s College. His rooms are not far from his tutor’s rooms. He has dinner in the fine old college hall four times a week. He plays cricket for Queen’s and hopes to be chosen to play for the university this year. His other favorite sport is rugby, and he is a member of the university club. He is “reading” history, and goes once a week to Emmanuel College to see his supervisor to discuss his work and his lectures. He belongs to several university societies – the Union, the Historical Society, the Conservation Society, a photographic club, and so on – and to a number of college societies.

With about 10,000 undergraduates like John Holt and over 4,000 postgraduates, the city is a busy place in “full term”. Undergraduates are not allowed to keep cars in Cambridge, so nearly all of them use bicycles. Don’t try to drive through Cambridge during the five minutes between lectures. On Mondays, John Holt has a lecture in one college ending at 9:55 and another in a different college at 10. His bicycle must get him there through a boiling sea of other bicycles hurrying in all directions. If you are in Cambridge at five minutes to the hour any morning of full term, you know that you are in a university town. Stop in some safe place and wait.

Text B: Oxford

What is so special about Oxford and Cambridge, the two oldest universities in England? Why do so many students want to study there?

Both of these university towns are very beautiful. They have some of the finest architecture in Britain.2 Some of their colleges, chapels and libraries are three, four and even five hundred years old, and are full of valuable books and precious paintings. Both towns have many lovely gardens, where the students can read and relax in the summer months.

Oxford is the older university of the two and the oldest of all the British universities. The first of its colleges, University College, was founded as early as 1249. Now there are about 40 colleges in the University. They are separate and partly independent. Most of them offer both undergraduate and graduate courses, while some colleges, such as Wolfson, take only graduates. With all their differences, the colleges are very similar. Almost all the colleges consider themselves to have a friendly, relaxed atmosphere that helps students quickly get to know one another. They act as homes for students when they are there. Today Oxford University has about 12,000 students, many of them from other countries. There were no women students at Oxford until 1878, when the first women’s college, Lady Margaret Hall, opened. Now women study at most colleges.

Oxford is, of course, famous for its first-class education as well as its beautiful buildings. Some of the most intelligent men and women in the country live and work here. Oxford gives them what they need: a quiet atmosphere, friendly colleagues, and the four-hundred-year-old Bodleian Library, 3 which has about five million books.

It is not easy to get a place at Oxford University to study for a degree. But outside the university there are many smaller private colleges[ A private college is one that does not receive its main financial support from the government.] which offer less difficult courses and where it is easy to enroll. Most students in these private schools take business, secretarial or English language courses.

Unit 3

Text A: Space

“We shape our buildings and they shape us.”

By?Winston Churchill

When we travel abroad we are immediately impressed by the many ways buildings, homes, and cities are designed. The division and organization of space lend character and uniqueness to villages, towns, and cities. Yet, architectural differences may also cause confusion or discomfort for the traveler. In the following example, a group of Americans living in a country in South America reacted emotionally to the architectural differences they observed.

The Latin house is often built around a patio that is next to the sidewalk but hidden from outsiders behind a wall. It is not easy to describe the degree to which small architectural differences such as this affect outsiders. American...technicians living in Latin America used to complain that they felt “l(fā)eft out” of things, that they were “shut off”. Others kept wondering what was going on “behind those walls.”

The separation of space inside homes may also vary from culture to culture. In most American homes the layout of rooms reveals the separateness and labeling of space according to function—bedroom, living room, dining room, playroom, and so on. This system is in sharp contrast to other cultures where one room in a house may serve several functions. In Japan, homes with sliding walls can change a large room into two small rooms so that a living room can also serve as a bedroom.

When a home or a city’s design is influenced by another culture, the “native” architecture can be lost or disguised. For example, a French architect was asked to design Chandigarh, the capital city in Punjab, India. He decided to plan the city with centralized shopping centers which required public transportation and movement away from the village centers. Eventually the Indians stopped meeting each other socially in their small neighborhoods. Apparently, the introduction of a non-Indian style of architecture affected some of the cultural and social patterns of those living in the city.

Privacy and the Use of Space

Architectural design influences how privacy is achieved as well as how social contact is made in public places. The concept of privacy is not unique to a particular culture but what it means is culturally determined. For example,

...according to Donald Keene, author of “Living Japan,” there is no Japanese word for privacy. Yet one cannot say that concept of privacy does not exist among the Japanese but only that it is very different from the Western conception.

Similarly, there is no word in the Russian language that means exactly the same as the English word “privacy”.

People in the United States tend to achieve privacy by physically separating themselves from others. The expression “good fences make good neighbors” indicates a preference for privacy from neighbors’ homes. If a family can afford it, each child has his or her own bedroom. When privacy is needed, family members may lock their bedroom doors.

When the American wants to be alone he goes into a room and shuts the door—he depends on architectural features for screening. The English, on the other hand, lacking rooms of their own since childhood, never developed the practice of using space as a refuge from others.

In some cultures when individuals desire privacy, it is acceptable for them simply to withdraw into themselves. That is, they do not need to remove themselves physically from a group in order to achieve privacy.

Young American children learn the rule “knock before you enter” which teaches them to respect others’ privacy. Parents, too, often follow this rule prior to entering their children’s rooms. When a bedroom door is closed, it may be a sign to others saying, “I need privacy,” “I’m angry, ” or “Do not disturb...I’m busy.” For Americans, the physical division of space and the use of architectural features permit a sense of privacy.

The way space is used to enable the individual to achieve privacy, to build homes or to design cities is culturally influenced. Dr. Hall summarizes the relationship between individuals and their physical surroundings:

Man and his extension constitute one interrelated system. It is a mistake...to act as though man were one thing and his house or his cities,...or his language...were something else.

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Text B: Getting along verbally and nonverbally

When you are in another country, it is important to know the language, but it is equally important to know how to communicate nonverbally. Before saying anything, people communicate nonverbally or by making gestures. According to a pioneer in nonverbal communication, only 30 to 35 percent of our communication is verbal. The rest is nonverbal. When people don’t know the language, the most common way to communicate is through gestures. However, many gestures have different meanings, or no meaning at all, in different parts of the world.

In the United States, for example, nodding your head up and down means “yes”. In some parts of Greece and Turkey, however, this motion can mean “no”. In southeast Asia, nodding your head is a polite way of saying “I heard you.”

In ancient Rome, when the emperor wanted to spare someone’s life, he would put his thumb up. Today in the United States, when someone puts his/her thumb up, it means “Everything is all right.” However, in Sardinia and Greece, the gesture is insulting and should not be used there.

In the United States, raising your clasped hands above your head means “I’m the champion” or “I’m the winner.” It is the sign prizefighters make when they win a fight. When a leading Russian statesman made this gesture after a White House meeting, Americans misunderstood and thought he meant he was a winner. In the Soviet Union, however, it is a sign of friendship.

In the United States, holding your hand up with the thumb and index finger in a circle and the other three fingers spread out means “Everything is O.K.” and is frequently used by astronauts and politicians. In France and Belgium, it can mean “You’re worth nothing.”

There are other nonverbal signals that people should be aware of when they go to another country, such as the distance to maintain between speakers. Americans usually feel comfortable when speaking with someone if the distance between them is about eighteen inches to arm’s length. Anything closer makes them feel uncomfortable.

When talking to Americans, it is also important to make eye contact. If you look down when talking to an American, he/she may feel that you are embarrassed, afraid, or trying to hide something.

In addition to knowing how to communicate nonverbally in a country, it is important to know what you can and cannot discuss. In the United States, there are certain topics to avoid when you first meet someone. For example, don’t ask people their age, weight, religion, marital status, how much money they earn, or how much something costs. You can talk about work, the weather, traffic problems, sports, food, news of the day, where one lives, consumer subjects (computers, car repairs, and so forth), and travel or vacation plans.

These few examples illustrate that your actions can speak louder than your words. In a particular cultural context, what you say and what you don’t say are equally important.

Unit 4

Text A: New York City

Londoners sometimes claim that London is the grandest city in the world. Parisians argue that Paris is the most beautiful. Romans point out with pride that Rome5 is richer in history than any other city. New Yorkers never maintain that New York City is the grandest, the most beautiful, or the richest in history. Their claim is that their city is the most vital city in the world.

New York City is the largest city in the United States and one of the largest in the world. Facing the Atlantic, it is on the northeastern coast of the United States, and most of the city is built on islands. It is one of the world’s most important centers of finance, industry, and culture. In some ways, New York City seems to belong to the entire world. Both the Statue of Liberty and the United Nations are located there. The giant lady with the torch has been welcoming people from many countries for over a hundred years. Leaders from all over the world have been working together at the United Nations since 1952.

During the 19th century, thousands of people from other countries entered the United States by way of New York City and many of them settled there. That’s why it has often been said that the New York area has more Jews than any other city outside Israel in the world, more Italians than Rome, more Irish than Dublin. More than 80 different languages are spoken in the city. Over 50 non-English newspapers in 20 languages are published there.

Located at the mouth of the Hudson River, New York City is the busiest port of the country. It handles about one third of the country’s international shipping and can handle more ships than any other port in the world. Every day hundreds of ships bring in oil, sugar, coffee, tea, fruit, paper and many other products. New York also ships wheat, flour, cars, machines, and many kinds of ready-made goods to other ports in the country and in the world. The city produces nearly a quarter of the country’s total manufactures. The center of New York’s business world is Wall Street, whose influence is felt by the whole nation and probably by countries everywhere in the world.

New York is an exciting city. Splendid is the architecture of Manhattan, the heart of the city, with its one hundred and more skyscrapers. The most famous among them are the Empire State Building, the United Nations Headquarters, Rockefeller Center, and the World Trade Center. The materials used — copper, stainless steel, concrete, and glass — give the buildings a striking beauty. Nearly all the streets are in straight lines running from East to West. Those running from North to South are called avenues. The streets and avenues, forming squares, or “blocks”, are lined with many expensive stores and huge apartment houses.

The most crowded part of the city is perhaps Harlem, where mostly Black Americans live. There the houses are in worse condition than anywhere else — old, dirty, needing repairs, and sometimes dangerous. The crime rate there is among the highest in the western world.

Text B: London

From?London, London: Thomas Benacciltd

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life: for there is in London all that life can afford-, wrote Samuel Johnson in 1777. He would recognize many of the great sights on both sides of the Thames, which winds its way downstream from Windsor and Hampton Court, past Westminister Abbey, St Paul’s Cathedral, the Tower, and on down to Greenwich and the sea.

When H.G. Wells wrote in 1911 that “London is the most interesting beautiful and wonderful city in the world to me”, horse drawn carriages and Edwardian splendour were on their way out. The 20th century was about to enforce dramatic changes on the London skyline – skyscrapers in the City, the Telecom Tower, an arts center on the South Bank and arising now, Docklands, the business center for the 21st century.

Yet London, the world’s capital, has kept its heart. Johnson would still be able to drink coffee in Covent Garden, or meander through the City’s narrow streets to churches and livery companies with echoes of Medieval days. H.G. Wells might, today, listen to debates in the Houses of Parliament, attend a concert in the Albert Hall or listen to a military band in a royal park. Today London is a sprawling, cosmopolitan metropolis, about 1600 square km, an exciting world which many visitors from aboard see first from the sky, surprised that the ribbon-like Thames is so curvaceous and a score of bridges so decorative. Down there, seven million people are at home, not in anonymous suburbs but in the Cities of London and Westminster and in districts which have remnants of their countrified past, in Marylebone and Kensington, Hampstead and Highgate with their high streets and historic monuments remembering famous men and women who built a London which each generation discovers anew. Documented history goes back to the time when Westminister was still a marsh. The Romans had inhabited the land which became the City, building a bridge across the Thames by AD 60 and creating a celebrated center of commerce filled with traders. Westminster, established as a royal palace shortly before the invasion of William the Conqueror in 1066, gradually grew in importance as it became the seat of government, beside the Thames and next door to Westminster Abbey a couple of minutes from the City. Big Ben, the voice of London, has been telling the time to the second since 1859. Construction of the 96 m clock tower began in the year Queen Victoria came to the throne, 1837, as part of the reconstruction of the Houses of Parliament following the devastating fire of 1834. Clock designer, Sir Edmund Grimthorpe, the architect and clockmaker all died before the 13 1/2 ton bell was mounted behind the four clock faces, which each measure 7 m in diameter.

The Great Bell cracked, was recast and cracked again, giving us the famous, flawed, resonating boom. Why Big Ben? There are two answers – either can be chosen. It could have been named after Sir Benjamin Hall, chief commissioner of works at that time, and a Welshman of great girth. Or, perhaps, it was named by workman who brought the bell from Whitechapel Foundry on a cart pulled by 16 white horses. Their hero of the day was Benjamin Caunt, a 17 stone prize fighter.

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Unit 5

Text A: You’re in. Now pay up

Adapted from an article by?Rachel Hartigan Shea, Anna Mulrine, Justin Ewers and Ulrich Boser

Tuition is rising, nest eggs have shrunk – but families still have plenty of options.

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When the envelope from Northwestern University1 arrived for Sherry Taylor on New Year’s Eve2, she tore it open and pulled out a letter informing her that she’d been accepted early by her top-choice school. She was even happier last month when the university offered her $11,038 in merit scholarships. But her parents, a civil servant and a substitute teacher, worried about the remaining $18,832. Then Wittenberg University’s3 letter arrived, dangling $3,500 more, for an out-of-pocket cost of $15,124. Now what?

If fall is the season of college dreams, spring is the season for college dreams to meet financial reality. Deposits are due May 1, and families across America are deciding right now where they can afford to send their children to college. The calculus recently has been different from what many had expected. With the economy still recovering, stock portfolios deflated, and tuition rising at cash-strapped universities, families are finding it tougher to fund the college education they had planned on.

Like thousands of parents who have banked on the bull market – or, more commonly, have simply failed to save enough – Sherry Taylor’s parents need to do some fast last-minute planning. Last year, they were confident their investments would cover Sherry’s college costs. Then $40,000 of her college fund evaporated – and the parents wound up getting the education.

“People attempted to take advantage of huge returns in the stock market – then they got hit,” notes Dan Small, director of student financial assistance at George Washington University, who like many of his peers has been fielding calls from suddenly panicked parents. The souring economy is hurting folks, too. “The other thing we’re hearing is that downsizings are starting to affect the resources of some families,” adds Paul Long, dean of enrollment management at Pepperdine University.

Schools offer the supporting evidence: More families applied for aid this year – and more were eligible. Even the well-to-do are keeping an eye on the bottom line, notes Nancy Pankey, a college adviser at Miami Palmetto Senior High School. Many of her wealthy students will enroll in Florida colleges to take advantage of state scholarships. “In the past, these kids would have gone out of state,” she says.

Meanwhile, universities, confronted with budget crunches of their own due to depressed donations, higher energy costs, and shrinking state support, are raising tuition: Students at the University of Iowa will see a 19 percent jump, and costs at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill will shoot up 21 percent.

Some schools are offsetting increases by boosting aid packages, but many cannot afford to do so, leaving parents in a quandary: How can they possibly satisfy tuition collectors as well as their starry-eyed children? U.S. News asked dozens of experts for tips on everything from comparing aid packages to finding last-minute cash.

One theme we heard over and over: Families have more options than they realize. Sherry Taylor’s father exercised one when he called Northwestern University to see if it would sweeten her package. After re-examining the family’s financial file and Sherry’s senior-year grades, officials at Northwestern added $1,000 to her scholarship – enough to seal the deal. Sherry has already picked out a dorm.

Text B: Companionship of Books

By?Samual Smiles

A man may usually be known by the books he reads as well as by the company he keeps; for there is a companionship of books as well as of men; and one should always live in the best company, whether it be of books or of men.

A good book may be among the best of friends. It is the same today that it always was, and it will never change. It is the most patient and cheerful of companions. It does not turn its back upon us in times of adversity or distress. It always receives us with the same kindness, amusing and instructing us in youth, and comforting and consoling us in age.

Men often discover their affinity to each other by the love they have each for a book – just as two persons sometimes discover a friend by the admiration which both have for a third. There is an old proverb, “Love me, love my dog.” But there is more wisdom in this: “Love me, love my book.” The book is a truer and higher bond of union. Men can think, feel, and sympathize with each other through their favorite author. They live in him together, and he in them.

“Books,” said Hazlitt, “wind into the heart; the poet’s verse slides in the current of our blood. We read them when young, we remember them when old. We read there of what has happened to others, we feel that it has happened to ourselves. They are to be had very cheap and good. We breathe but the air of books.”

A good book is often the best urn of a life enshrining the best that life could think out; for the world of a man’s life is, for the most part, but the world of his thoughts. Thus the best books are treasuries of good words, the golden thoughts, which, remembered and cherished, become our constant companions and comforters. “They are never alone,” said Sir Philip Sidney, “that are accompanied by noble thoughts.” The good and true thought may in times of temptation be as an angel of mercy purifying and guarding the soul. It also enshrines the germs of action, for good words almost always inspire to good works.

Books possess an essence of immortality. They are by far the most lasting products of human effort. Temples and statues decay, but books survive. Time is of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh today as when they first passed through their authors’ minds, ages ago. What was then said and thought still speaks to us as vividly as ever from the printed page. The only effect of time has been to sift out the bad products; for nothing in literature can long survive but what is really good.

Books introduce us into the best society; they bring us into the presence of the greatest minds that have ever lived. We hear what they said and did; we see them as if they were alive; we sympathize with them, enjoy with them, grieve with them; their experience becomes ours, and we feel as if we were in a measure actors with them in the scenes which they describe.

The great and good do not die even in this world. Embalmed in books, their spirits walk abroad. The book is a living voice. It is an intellect to which one still listens. Hence we ever remain under the influence of the great men of old. The imperial intellects of the world are as much alive today as they were ages ago.

Unit 6

Text A: How to Raise Polite Kids in a Rude World

While you can’t protect your children from what goes on outside your home, experts believe that with patience and persistence, parents can do a lot to make their children beauties in our world full of beasts.

Be a Model

When a 16-year-old Florida high-schooler came home from volleyball practice one day, she appeared troubled. “What’s wrong?” her mother asked. The girl explained that her coach chose another girl over her best friend for the team. Her friend’s mother drove the girl home, cursing and calling the coach all sorts of names.

Many parents seem to have adopted the attitude “My child, right or wrong”— with devastating results. Parents can’t accept when their child isn’t No. 1. Instead of urging a child to study harder for better grades, some parents blame the teacher. Instead of punishing a child for violating a school policy, they battle the policy.

A better message is to teach children that while they cannot always control the outcome of every situation, they can control how they respond. Children must learn to behave more gallantly than they feel. Being gallant is about more than simply saying “please” and “thank you.” It’s about not boasting or calling someone names behind their back, about winning fairly and losing graciously, and treating everyone with respect.

The best way for parents to improve a child’s manners is to improve their own first. If we aren’t practicing good manners, how can we expect our children to?

Prompt and Praise

“You’re such a mess; you never clean up your room.” “Don’t you raise your voice to me.” Most parents have said these things to their children. They’re meant to correct behavior. Why, then, do they fail so miserably?

A better approach is something psychologists calls prompt and praise. Before an event the parent explains the expected behavior in a noncritical way: “When we visit Aunt Mary today, I’d be so proud if you could shake her hand and pull out her chair at dinner.” Afterward, praise the child: “I really liked the way you shook Aunt Mary’s hand and offered a chair.”

Every family should have some basic rules that everyone agrees on and will follow. So rather than saying “You’re such a slob. Get your elbows off the table,” a parent can simply state, “Our family rule is that elbows don’t go on the table.” By correcting the behavior rather than the child, you defuse a child’s defensiveness and keep the correction from sounding like an order.

A criticism delivered this way does tend to get results.

One morning after Ellen had hopped into the car, the driver, a father of one of the girls, turned around and asked, “How come no one says ‘good-morning’ to me?”

“I’d never thought about it from his perspective before,” Ellen admits. “I’m glad he told us how he felt.” Now she and the others say “good- morning” when they get into the car.

Have Dinner Together

Experts say that a half-hour to an hour of sit-down family time each day may be the most important thing parents can do for their children. “Cooperation, punctuality, conversation skills and respect are all learned around the dining table.

Even if a family can’t eat together every night, they should strive to get together at least once or twice a week. Dinnertime is not simply about eating but about sharing your day as a family. It’s a time when parents can gently impart their values and morals without sounding as if they’re lecturing.

Develop Rituals

Attitudes of respect, modesty and fair play can grow only out of slowly acquired skills that parents teach their children over many years through shared experience and memory.

Can playing hide-and-seek really teach a child about manners? Probably so because it tells the child that his parents care enough to spend time with him, he is loved and can learn to love others. Manners aren’t about using the right fork. Manners are about being kind-giving compliments, team-playing, making tiny sacrifices. Children learn that through their parents.

While children don’t automatically warm to the idea of learning to be polite, there’s no reason for them to see manners as a bunch of stuffy restrictions either. They’re the building blocks of a child’s education. “Once a rule becomes second nature, it frees us,” Mitchell says. How well could Michael Jordan play basketball if he had to keep reminding himself of the rules?”

A polite child grows up to get the friends and the dates and the job interviews because people respond to good manners. It’s the language of all human behavior.

Text B: American Table Manners

Manners in every country are different. What is polite in China may not be polite in the United States. These basic rules will help you enjoy western food with your American friends.

Always put the napkin on your lap first. Before you leave the table, fold your napkin and put it beside your plate.

As the meal is served, use the silverware farthest from the plate first. When eating something in a bowl, do not leave the spoon in the bowl. Put it on the plate beneath the bowl. Soup, as well as all American food is eaten quietly. Do not slurp the soup. The soup spoon is used by moving the spoon away from you. Do not over fill the spoon. The bowl may be tipped slightly away from you to allow the last bit of soup to be collected on the spoon. Do not pick the bowl up to hold it closer to your mouth. When you have finished your meal, place your knife and fork side by side on the plate. This signals that you have finished eating.

Wait until everyone has been served to begin eating. Everyone begins to eat at the same time. The host or hostess may invite you to start eating before everyone is served. Some foods may be cold if you are required to wait until everyone is served. If invited to begin before others are served, wait until three or four people have been served before starting to eat.

While eating, remember not to talk with your mouth full of food.

During the meal, the host or hostess will offer you a second helping of food. Sometimes they will ask you to help yourself. When they offer you food, give a direct answer. If you refuse the first time, they might not ask you again.

At the table, ask others to pass you dishes that are out of your reach. Good phrases to know are: “Please pass the ____” or “Could you hand me the ____, please?” If asked to pass the salt to someone, you should pass both the salt and pepper which are placed on the table together. Hand the salt and pepper to the person seated next to you. Do not reach over the person next to you to pass anything to others.

Sit up straight at the table. Bring the food up to your mouth. Do not lean down to your plate.

Cut large pieces of meat, potatoes and vegetables into bite size pieces. Eat the pieces one at a time.

When eating spaghetti, wind the noodles up on your fork. You may use your spoon to assist in winding the noodle on your fork. The spaghetti on your fork should be eaten in one bite. It is very impolite to eat half your noodles and allow the other half to fall back on your plate.

Some foods may be eaten with your fingers. If you are not sure if it is proper to eat something by picking it up with your fingers watch what others do before doing so yourself. Examples of foods which can be eaten with your fingers include: bacon which has been cooked until it is very crisp; bread should be broken rather than cut with a knife; cookies; sandwiches; and small fruits and berries on the stem. Most fast foods are intended to be eaten with your fingers.

Do not lean on your arm or elbow while eating. You may rest your hand and wrist on the edge of the table.

In America, people do not use toothpicks at the table.

Some of the rules mentioned here may be somewhat relaxed in informal settings.

The best way to learn good manners is to watch others. Observe the way your western friends eat. This is the best way to avoid making mistakes when you are unsure of what to do.

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Unit 7

Text A: Thanksgiving

By?Ellen Goodman

Soon they will be together again, all the people who travel between their own lives and each other’s. The package tour of the season will tempt theme this week to the family table. By Thursday, feast day, family day, Thanksgiving day, Americans who value individualism like no other people will collect around a million tables in a ritual of belonging.

They will assemble their families the way they assemble dinner: each one bearing a personality as different as cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. For one dinner they will cook for each other and argue with each other. They will nod at their common heritage, the craziness and caring of other generations. They will measure their common legacy—the children.

All these complex cells, these men and women, old and young, with different dreams and disappointments will give honour again to the group they are a part of and apart from: their family. Families and individuals. The “we” and the “I”. As good Americans we all travel between those two ideals. We take value trips from the great American notion of individualism to the great American vision of family. We wear out our tires driving back and forth, using speed to shorten the distance between these two principles.

There has always been some pavement between a person and a family. Form the first moment we recognize that we are separate we begin to struggle with aloneness and togetherness. Here and now these conflicts are especially sharp. We are, after all, raised in families...to be individuals. This double message follows us through life. We are taught about the freedom of the “I” and the safety of the “we”. The loneliness of the “I” and the burdens of the “we”.

We are taught what Andre Malraux said: “Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold.” And taught what he said another day:” The denial of the supreme importance of the mind’s development accounts for many revolts against the family.” In theory, the world rewards “the supreme importance” of the individual, the ego. We think alone, inside our heads. We write music and literature with an enlarged sense of self. We are graded and paid, hired and fired, on our own merit. The rank individualism is both exciting and cruel. Here is where the fittest survive.

The family, on the other hand, at its best, works very differently. We don’t have to achieve to be accepted by our families.We just have to be. Our membership is not based on certificates but on birth. As Malraux put it, “A friend loves you for your intelligence, a lover for your charm, but your family’s love is unreasoning: you were born into it and of its flesh and blood.”

The family is formed not for the survival of the fittest but for the weakest. It is not an economic unit but an emotional one. This is not the place where people fiercely compete with each other but where they work for each other. Its business is taking care, and when it works, it is not indifferent but kind.

There are fewer heroes, fewer stars in family life. While the world may glorify the self, the family asks us, at one time or another, to submerge it. While the world may abandon us, the family promises, at one time or another, to protect us. So we commute daily, weekly, yearly between one world and another. Between a life as a family member that can be nurturing or smothering. Between a life as an individual that can free us or flatten us. We hesitate between two separate sets of demands and possibilities.

The people who will gather around this table Thursday live in both of those worlds, a part of and apart from each other. With any luck the territory they travel from one to another can be a fertile one, rich with care and space. It can be a place where the “I” and the “we” interact. On this day at least, they will bring to each other something both special and something to be shared: these separate selves.

Text B: Why I want a wife

By?Judy Syfers

I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am a wife. And not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.

Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is obviously looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like have a wife. Why do I want a wife?

I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent on me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to make sure that my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure they have an adequate social life with their equals, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife’s income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife in working.

I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep the house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying.

I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.

I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about the things that interest me and my friends.

And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain faithful to me so that I do not have to disturb my intellectual life with jealousies.

If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.

When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife’s duties.

My God, who wouldn’t want a wife?

Unit 8

Text A: Dreams

By?J. B. Priestley

Now and again I have had horrible dreams, but not enough of them to make me lose my delight in dreams. To begin with, I like the idea of dreaming, of going to bed and lying still and then, by some queer magic, wandering into another kind of existence. As a child I could never understand why grownups took dreaming so calmly when they could make such a fuss about any holiday. This still puzzles me. I am mystified by people who say they never dream and appear to have no interest in the subject. It is much more astonishing than if they said they never went out for a walk. Most people—or at least most Western Europeans—do not seem to accept dreaming as part of their lives. They appear to see it as annoying little habit, like sneezing or yawning.

I have never understood this. My dream life does not seem as important as my waking life, if only because there is far less of it, but to me it is important. As if there were at least two extra continents added to the world, and lightening excursions running to them at any moment between midnight and breakfast. Then again, the dream life, though queer and confusing and unsatisfactory in many respects, has its own advantages. The dead are there, smiling and talking. The past is there, sometimes all broken and confused but occasionally as fresh as a daisy. And perhaps, the future is there two, waving at us. This dream life is often overshadowed by huge mysterious anxieties, with luggage that cannot be packed and trains that refuse to be caught; and both persons and scenes there are not as dependable and solid as they are in waking life, so that Brown and Smith merge into one person while Robinson splits into two, and there are thick woods outside the bathroom door and the dining-room is somehow part of a theater balcony; and there are moments of sorrow or terror in the dream world that are worse than anything we have known under the sun. Yet this other life has its interests, its enjoyments, its satisfactions, and, at certain rare intervals, a peaceful glow or a sudden excitement, like glimpses of another form of existence altogether, that we cannot match with open eyes. Silly or wise, terrible or delightful, it is a further helping of experience, an additional joy after dark, another slice of life cut differently for which, it seems to me, we are never sufficiently grateful. Only a dream! Why only? It was there, and you had it.

“If there were dreams to sell,” Beddoes inquires, “ what would you buy?” I cannot say offhand, but certainly rather more than I could afford.

Text B: How to live beautifully?

By?Margaret Mason

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In my newspaper column some time ago, I reprinted a short essay on youth by Samuel Ullman, an author unknown to me.

General Douglas MacArthur, I learned, often quoted Ullman’s “Youth” essay and kept a framed copy over his desk throughout the Pacific campaign. It’s believed that the Japanese picked up the work from his Tokyo headquarters.

Unlikely as it may sound, this essay, written more than 70 years ago, is the basis of many Japanese businessman’s life philosophies. Many carry creased copies in their pockets.

“Anyone worthy of respect in Japanese business knows and uses this essay,” says one longtime Japan observer. When one of Ullman’s grandsons, Jonas Rosenfield, Jr., was having dinner in Japan a few years ago, “Youth” came up in conversation. Rosenfield told his dinner companion, a Japanese business leader, that the author was his grandfather. The news was shocking.

“ ‘You are the grandson of Samuel Ullman?’ he kept repeating,” says Rosenfield, head of the American Film Marketing Association. “He couldn’t get over it.”

Then the executive pulled a copy of “Youth” from his pocket and told Rosenfield, “I carry it with me always.”

Several years ago, several hundred top businessmen and government leaders gathered in Tokyo and Osaka to celebrate their admiration of Ullman’s essay. Konosuke Matsushita, founder of the Panasonic Company, said “Youth” had been his motto for 20 years.

Someone asked, “ Why don’t Americans love the essay as much as we do? It sends a message about how to live beautifully to men and women, old and young alike.”

Samuel Ullman was born in 1840 in Germany and came to America as a boy. He fought in the U. S. Civil War and settled in Birmingham, Alabama. He was a hardware merchant with a great enthusiasm for public service that continues even now, 67 years after his death. In the last few years more than $36,000 from royalties on a book and a cassette reading of his work has gone to a University of Alabama at Birmingham scholarship fund. Not bad for a man who started writing in his 70s.