How I made friends with reality？

我如何和現(xiàn)實(shí)交朋友

演講者：Emily Levine

幽默作家Emily Levine利用她鮮明的聰明與才智烟央，完成了她的終極挑戰(zhàn)：她讓死亡變得有趣戳粒。在她的個(gè)人演講中呻此，她帶我們走進(jìn)了她如何與現(xiàn)實(shí)交朋友——平和對待死亡的旅程。生命是一件巨大的禮物骤星，Emily說：“你盡最大的努力豐富它吃沪，然后將它歸還

I’m going to first tell you something that in my grandmother

我要先告訴各位一件事， 如果我祖母還在危号，

would’ve elicited a five-oy alarm:

她要是聽到這件事 肯定會發(fā)出五個(gè)「喲」的獨(dú)特感嘆：

Oy-oy-oy-oy-oy.

「喲～喲～喲～喲～喲牧愁。」

And here it is ... are you ready?

這件事就是…… 你們準(zhǔn)備好了嗎外莲？

OK.

好猪半。

I have stage IV lung cancer.

我有第四期肺癌。

Oh, I know, "poor me."

喔偷线，我知道磨确，「我好可憐∩睿」

I don’t feel that way.

我沒有那樣的感覺乏奥。

I’m so OK with it.

我覺得還好。

And granted, I have certain advantages --

沒錯(cuò)亥曹，我有一些優(yōu)勢——

not everybody can take so cavalier an attitude.

不是每個(gè)人都能 采取無憂無慮的態(tài)度邓了。

I don’t have young children.

我沒有年紀(jì)還小的孩子恨诱。

I have a grown daughter who’s brilliant and happy and wonderful.

我有個(gè)女兒，已經(jīng)成年骗炉， 她很聰明照宝、快樂，且美好痕鳍。

I don’t have huge financial stress.

我沒有很大的財(cái)務(wù)壓力硫豆。

My cancer isn’t that aggressive.

我的癌癥沒有那么具侵略性。

It’s kind of like the Democratic leadership --

就有點(diǎn)像是民主黨在領(lǐng)導(dǎo)——

not convinced it can win.

不太肯定它能贏笼呆。

It’s basically just sitting there,

基本上熊响，它就是坐在那里，

waiting for Goldman Sachs to give it some money.

等著高盛集團(tuán)給它一些錢诗赌。

Oh, and the best thing of all --

喔汗茄，還有，當(dāng)中最棒的是——

I have a major accomplishment under my belt.

我已經(jīng)有了一個(gè)重大的成就铭若。

Yes.

是的洪碳。

I didn’t even know it until someone tweeted me a year ago.

連我自己也不知道， 直到一年前有人發(fā)推特訊息給我叼屠。

And here’s what they said:

以下是他們說的：

for the pussification of the American male.

被娘娘腔化負(fù)起責(zé)任瞳腌。」

Not that I can take all the credit, but ...

我不敢說功勞全是我的镜雨，但……

But what if you don’t have my advantages?

但嫂侍，如果你沒有我這樣的優(yōu)勢呢？

The only advice I can give you is to do what I did:

我能給予你的唯一忠告荚坞， 就是做我所做的：

make friends with reality.

和現(xiàn)實(shí)交朋友挑宠。

You couldn’t have a worse relationship with reality than I did.

你和現(xiàn)實(shí)的關(guān)系不可能比我還糟。

From the get-go,

從一開始颓影，

I wasn’t even attracted to reality.

我甚至不太被現(xiàn)實(shí)吸引各淀。

If they’d had Tinder when I met reality,

若在我遇見現(xiàn)實(shí)時(shí)就有 Tinder （常用在一夜情的社交軟體），

I would have swiped left

我就會立馬拒絕它诡挂，

and the whole thing would have been over.

我們的關(guān)系就此結(jié)束碎浇。

And reality and I --

而現(xiàn)實(shí)和我——

we don’t share the same values, the same goals --

我們沒有相同的價(jià)值觀、 相同的目標(biāo)——

To be honest, I don’t have goals;

老實(shí)說璃俗，我沒有目標(biāo)奴璃；

I have fantasies.

我有幻想。

They’re exactly like goals but without the hard work.

它們就像目標(biāo)一樣旧找，只是不用努力。

I’m not a big fan of hard work,

我不太癡迷「努力」麦牺，

but you know reality --

但钮蛛，你知道現(xiàn)實(shí)——

it’s either push, push, push, push, push

它就是不斷推鞭缭、推、推魏颓、推岭辣、推，

through its agent, the executive brain function --

透過它的代理人甸饱，大腦執(zhí)行功能——

one of the "yays" of dying:

邁向死亡的「好呀」之一：

my executive brain function won’t have me to kick around anymore.

我的大腦執(zhí)行功能不再讓我健在了沦童。

But something happened

但發(fā)生了一件事，

that made me realize

讓我了解到叹话，

that reality may not be reality.

現(xiàn)實(shí)可能不是現(xiàn)實(shí)偷遗。

So what happened was,

發(fā)生的事情就是，

because I basically wanted reality to leave me alone --

因?yàn)槲一旧舷ＭF(xiàn)實(shí)走開 別管我驼壶，丟下我一個(gè)人就好——

but I wanted to be left alone in a nice house

但我希望被丟在一間很好的房子里氏豌，

with a Wolf range and Sub-Zero refrigerator ...

里面有頂級的廚具和冰箱……

private yoga lessons --

私人瑜伽課——

I ended up with a development deal at Disney.

我最后得到的是迪士尼的開發(fā)協(xié)議。

And one day I found myself in my new office

有天我發(fā)現(xiàn)我自己 坐在我的新辦公室里热凹，

on Two Dopey Drive --

位在 Dopey Drive 2號 （迪士尼路名）——

which reality thought I should be proud of ...

現(xiàn)實(shí)認(rèn)為我應(yīng)該要以為此傲……

And I’m staring at the present they sent me to celebrate my arrival --

我盯著他們?yōu)榱藨c祝我的到來 而為我準(zhǔn)備的禮物——

not the Lalique vase or the grand piano I’ve heard of other people getting,

不是我常聽有人得到的 Lalique 花瓶或大鋼琴泵喘，

but a three-foot-tall, stuffed Mickey Mouse

而是三英呎高的填充米老鼠，

with a catalog, in case I wanted to order some more stuff

附上一份型錄般妙， 以免我還想訂購更多

that didn’t jive with my aesthetic.

和我美感不搭的東西纪铺。

And when I looked up in the catalog

當(dāng)我翻閱著型錄

to see how much this three-foot-high mouse cost,

看看這只三英呎高的老鼠要多少錢時(shí)，

here’s how it was described ...

我看到它被這樣描述……

Life-sized.

「實(shí)體大小」碟渺。

And that’s when I knew.

就在那時(shí)鲜锚，我懂了。

Reality wasn’t "reality."

現(xiàn)實(shí)并不是「現(xiàn)實(shí)」止状。

Reality was an imposter.

現(xiàn)實(shí)是個(gè)冒名頂替者烹棉。

So I dived into quantum physics and chaos theory

所以，我埋頭去讀 量子物理和混沌理論怯疤，

to try to find actual reality,

試圖找出真正的現(xiàn)實(shí)浆洗，

and I’ve just finished a movie --

且我剛完成一部電影——

yes, finally finished --

是的，終于完成了——

about all that,

內(nèi)容就是那些東西集峦，

so I won’t go into it here,

在這里我不打算談它伏社，

and anyway, it wasn’t until after we shot the movie,

總之，一直到我們 拍了那部電影之后塔淤，

when I broke my leg and then it didn’t heal,

我弄斷了我的腳摘昌，它卻沒有復(fù)元，

so then they had to do another surgery a year later,

一年之后他們得要再做另一個(gè)手術(shù)高蜂，

and then that took a year --

那花了一年——

two years in a wheelchair,

共兩年坐在輪椅上聪黎，

and that’s when I came into contact with actual reality:

那時(shí)我才接觸到了真正的現(xiàn)實(shí)：

limits.

限制。

Those very limits I’d spent my whole life denying

我一生都在否認(rèn)备恤、推開稿饰、

and pushing past and ignoring

忽視的那些限制锦秒，

were real,

都是真的，

and I had to deal with them,

而我得要處理它們喉镰，

and they took imagination, creativity and my entire skill set.

我用上了想像力旅择、創(chuàng)意， 和我所有的技能侣姆，才搞定它們生真。

It turned out I was great at actual reality.

結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)，我很擅長真正的現(xiàn)實(shí)捺宗。

I didn’t just come to terms with it,

我并不是只順從忍受它柱蟀，

I fell in love.

我陷入愛河。

And I should’ve known,

我早該知道的偿凭，

given my equally shaky relationship with the zeitgeist ...

畢竟我和時(shí)代精神的關(guān)系 也是一樣不穩(wěn)固……

I’ll just say, if anyone is in the market for a Betamax --

姑且這樣說产弹，如果有人 想買 Beta 錄影帶——

I should have known that the moment I fell in love with reality,

我早該知道我愛上現(xiàn)實(shí)的那一刻，

the rest of the country would decide to go in the opposite direction.

全國其他人就會決定要朝反方向走弯囊。

But I’m not here to talk about Trump or the alt-right or climate-change deniers

但我不是要來談川普痰哨、另類右派， 或否認(rèn)氣候變遷的人匾嘱，

or even the makers of this thing,

或甚至這個(gè)東西的制造者斤斧，

which I would have called a box,

我會把這個(gè)東西稱為盒子，

except that right here, it says,

可是就在這里霎烙，寫著：

This is not a box.

「這不是盒子撬讽。」

They’re gaslighting me.

這對我來說真是精神虐待悬垃。

But what I do want to talk about

但我想要談的游昼，

is a personal challenge to reality

向現(xiàn)實(shí)做個(gè)人挑戰(zhàn)，

that I take personally,

我認(rèn)為是針對我尝蠕，

and I want to preface it by saying that I absolutely love science.

我想要先加一段序言： 我真的很愛科學(xué)烘豌。

I have this --

我有這種——

not a scientist myself --

我并不是科學(xué)家——

but an uncanny ability to understand everything about science,

但有一種不尋常的能力， 可以了解科學(xué)的一切看彼，

except the actual science --

除了真正的科學(xué)——

which is math.

也就是數(shù)學(xué)廊佩。

But the most outlandish concepts make sense to me.

但最古怪的概念對我來說是合理的。

The string theory;

弦理論靖榕；

the idea that all of reality emanates from the vibrations of these teeny --

概念是标锄，所有的現(xiàn)實(shí)都來自 這些小東西的震動——

I call it "The Big Twang."

我稱之為「大撥弦聲」。

Wave-particle duality:

波粒二象性：

the idea that one thing can manifest as two things ...

概念是茁计，一樣?xùn)|西可以 呈現(xiàn)成兩樣?xùn)|西……

you know?

你們知道嗎料皇？

That a photon can manifest as a wave and a particle

一個(gè)光子可以呈現(xiàn)成 一個(gè)波以及一個(gè)粒子，

coincided with my deepest intuitions

正好符合我最深的直覺，

that people are good and bad,

人是好的也是壞的践剂，

ideas are right and wrong.

想法是對的也是錯(cuò)的毒返。

Freud was right about penis envy

佛洛依德對于 陰莖嫉妒的看法是對的，

and he was wrong about who has it.

但對于誰會嫉妒則是錯(cuò)的舷手。

Thank you.

謝謝。

And then there’s this slight variation on that,

接著劲绪，還有個(gè)稍微不同的版本男窟，

which is reality looks like two things,

就是現(xiàn)實(shí)看起來像是兩樣?xùn)|西，

but it turns out to be the interaction of those two things,

但結(jié)果卻是那兩樣?xùn)|西的交互作用贾富，

like space -- time,

比如空間——時(shí)間歉眷，

mass -- energy

質(zhì)量——能量，

and life and death.

還有生——死颤枪。

So I don’t I understand --

所以汗捡，我不了解——

I simply just don’t understand

我就是不了解

the mindset of people who are out to "defeat death" and "overcome death."

想要去「打敗死亡」 和「克服死亡」的人是什么心態(tài)。

How do you do that?

怎么辦得到畏纲？

How do you defeat death without killing off life?

你要如何打敗死亡但不要?dú)⑺郎?/p>

It doesn’t make sense to me.

這對我來說并不合理扇住。

I also have to say,

我也得要說，

I find it incredibly ungrateful.

我覺得這樣很忘恩負(fù)義盗胀。

I mean, you’re given this extraordinary gift --

我是指艘蹋，得到了這樣非凡的禮物——

life --

生命——

but it’s as if you had asked Santa for a Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow

但就好像你向圣誕老人許愿要 勞斯萊斯 Silver Shadow 車

and you had gotten a salad spinner instead.

卻得到了一個(gè)沙拉脫水器。

You know, it’s the beef --

你知道的票灰，牢騷在于——

the beef with it is that it comes with an expiration date.

牢騷在于它也帶有有效期限女阀。

Death is the deal breaker.

死亡是交易中不能通融的條件。

I don’t get that.

我不懂屑迂。

I don’t understand --

我不了解——

to me, it’s disrespectful.

對我來說浸策，那是失禮的。

It’s disrespectful to nature.

對大自然的失禮惹盼。

The idea that we’re going to dominate nature,

認(rèn)為我們要支配大自然庸汗，

we’re going to master nature,

我們要掌管大自然，

nature is too weak to withstand our intellect --

大自然太弱逻锐，無法承受 我們的智慧——

no, I don’t think so.

不夫晌，我不這么認(rèn)為。

I think if you’ve actually read quantum physics as I have --

我認(rèn)為昧诱，如果你有真的 跟我一樣去讀量子物理——

well, I read an email from someone who’d read it, but --

嗯嗯晓淀，我讀了一封電子郵件， 寄件者有讀過它盏档，但——

You have to understand

你得要了解凶掰，

that we don’t live in Newton’s clockwork universe anymore.

我們不再生活在 牛頓的規(guī)律宇宙中了。

We live in a banana peel universe,

我們生活在一個(gè)香蕉皮的宇宙中，

and we won’t ever be able to know everything

我們不可能知道一切懦窘，

or control everything

或控制一切前翎，

or predict everything.

或預(yù)測一切。

Nature is like a self-driving car.

大自然就像自動駕駛的車畅涂。

The best we can be is like the old woman in that joke --

我們能做到最好的狀況就是 像那個(gè)笑話中的老女人——

I don’t know if you’ve heard it.

不知道你們是否有聽過那笑話港华。

An old woman is driving

一個(gè)老女人在開車，

with her middle-aged daughter in the passenger seat,

乘客座位上的是她的中年女兒午衰，

and the mother goes right through a red light.

媽媽直接闖過一個(gè)紅燈立宜。

And the daughter doesn’t want to say anything that makes it sound like,

女兒并不想說出聽起來像這樣的話：

You’re too old to drive,

「你太老了，不該開車臊岸〕仁」

so she didn’t say anything.

所以她什么也沒說。

And then the mother goes through a second red light,

接著帅戒，媽媽闖了第二個(gè)紅燈灯帮，

and the daughter, as tactfully as possible,

女兒盡可能圓融地說：

says, "Mom, are you aware

「媽，你知不知道

that you just went through two red lights?"

你剛闖了兩個(gè)紅燈逻住？」

And the mother says, "Oh, am I driving?"

媽媽說：「喔钟哥，我在開車嗎？」

So ...

所以……

and now, I’m going to take a mental leap,

我要做一個(gè)精神上的跳躍瞎访， 這對我來說很容易瞪醋，

which is easy for me because I’m the Evel Knievel of mental leaps;

因?yàn)槲沂蔷裉S的 埃芙爾克尼芙爾（特技演員）；

my license plate says,

我的牌照上寫著：

Cogito, ergo zoom.

「我思装诡，故我跑得很快银受。」

I hope you’re willing to come with me on this,

我希望你們愿意 跟我一起來想想這件事鸦采，

but my real problem with the mindset that is so out to defeat death

但這種心態(tài)讓我覺得煩擾的 地方在于：去打敗死亡宾巍，

is if you’re anti-death,

就好像你是「反死亡」的，

which to me translates as anti-life,

對我來說渔伯，等同你也反生命顶霞，

which to me translates as anti-nature,

對我來說，等同你也反大自然锣吼，

it also translates to me as anti-woman,

對我來說选浑，等同你也反女性，

because women have long been identified with nature.

因?yàn)殚L久以來女性一直 被認(rèn)為等同于大自然玄叠。

And my source on this is Hannah Arendt,

這項(xiàng)資訊的來源是漢娜鄂蘭古徒，

the German philosopher who wrote a book called "The Human Condition."

她是名德國哲學(xué)家， 寫了一本書叫做《人的境況》读恃。

And in it, she says that classically,

在書中隧膘，她說代态，就古典主義來說，

work is associated with men.

工作和男性有關(guān)聯(lián)疹吃。

Work is what comes out of the head;

工作是從「頭」產(chǎn)生出來的蹦疑；

it’s what we invent,

工作是我們發(fā)明的東西，

it’s what we create,

是我們創(chuàng)造的東西萨驶，

it’s how we leave our mark upon the world.

是我們在這個(gè)世界上 留下痕跡的方式歉摧。

Whereas labor is associated with the body.

而勞務(wù)則是和身體有關(guān)。

It’s associated with the people who perform labor

它和執(zhí)行勞務(wù)的人有關(guān)腔呜，

or undergo labor.

或承受勞務(wù)的人判莉。

So to me,

所以，對我來說育谬，

the mindset that denies that,

否認(rèn)這一點(diǎn)的心態(tài)，

that denies that we’re in sync with the biorhythms,

否認(rèn)我們和生物節(jié)律帮哈， 宇宙生物周期的

the cyclical rhythms of the universe,

循環(huán)節(jié)奏同步的心態(tài)膛檀，

does not create a hospitable environment for women

并不會為女性 或和勞務(wù)相關(guān)的人創(chuàng)造出

or for people associated with labor,

一個(gè)友好的環(huán)境，

which is to say,

所謂勞務(wù)相關(guān)的人

people that we associate as descendants of slaves,

就是我們認(rèn)為 和奴隸后裔有關(guān)的人娘侍，

or people who perform manual labor.

或是進(jìn)行人工勞務(wù)工作的人咖刃。

So here’s how it looks from a banana-peel-universe point of view,

所以，從香蕉皮宇宙的觀點(diǎn)憾筏， 從我的心態(tài)嚎杨，也就是我所謂的

from my mindset which I call "Emily’s universe."

「艾蜜莉的宇宙」， 所看到的樣子是這樣的氧腰。

First of all,

首先枫浙，

I am incredibly grateful for life,

我對于生命充滿感激，

but I don’t want to be immortal.

但我不想要永生古拴。

I have no interest in having my name live on after me.

我對于死后讓我的名字 流傳下去箩帚，并不感興趣。

In fact, I don’t want it to,

事實(shí)上黄痪，我不希望如此紧帕，

because it’s been my observation

因?yàn)槲矣^察發(fā)現(xiàn)，

that no matter how nice and how brilliant

不論你有多好桅打、多聰明是嗜、

or how talented you are,

多有才華，

50 years after you die, they turn on you.

在你死后五十年挺尾， 他們都會反過來咬你一口鹅搪。

And I have actual proof of that.

我有真正的證據(jù)證明這一點(diǎn)。

A headline from the Los Angeles Times:

洛杉磯時(shí)報(bào)的頭條寫著：

Anne Frank: Not so nice after all.

「安妮法蘭克終究沒有那么好遭铺∩」 （二戰(zhàn)的受害人崇众，安妮日記的作者）

Plus, I love being in sync

此外，我喜歡和宇宙的

with the cyclical rhythms of the universe.

循環(huán)節(jié)奏同步航厚。

That’s what’s so extraordinary about life:

那就是生命的不凡之處：

it’s a cycle of generation,

它是個(gè)循環(huán)：產(chǎn)生顷歌，

degeneration,

衰退，

regeneration.

再生幔睬。

I am just a collection of particles

「我」只是許多微粒的集合眯漩，

that is arranged into this pattern,

它們被排列成這個(gè)模式，

then will decompose and be available,

將來會被分解開麻顶，所有的構(gòu)成成份

all of its constituent parts, to nature,

都會再次回到大自然中赦抖，可以再次

to reorganize into another pattern.

被用來組織成另一個(gè)模式。

To me, that is so exciting,

對我來說辅肾，這很讓人興奮队萤，

and it makes me even more grateful to be part of that process.

這甚至讓我更感激， 能夠成為那過程的一部分矫钓。

You know,

你們知道的要尔，

I look at death now from the point of view of a German biologist,

我現(xiàn)在從一位德國 生物學(xué)家的觀點(diǎn)來看待死亡，

Andreas Weber,

安德里亞斯韋伯新娜，

who looks at it as part of the gift economy.

他把死亡看做是禮物經(jīng)濟(jì)的一部分赵辕。

You’re given this enormous gift -- life,

你得到了這份大禮——生命，

you enrich it as best you can,

你就要盡可能活得充實(shí)概龄，

and then you give it back.

因?yàn)榈降啄氵€是得把它還回去的还惠。

And, you know, Auntie Mame said, "Life is a banquet" --

你知道的，歡樂梅姑（電影） 說過：「人生是一場饗宴」——

well, I’ve eaten my fill.

嗯私杜，我已經(jīng)吃了我足夠的份蚕键。

I have had an enormous appetite for life,

我對于人生的胃口很大，

I’ve consumed life,

我吃完了生命衰粹，

but in death, I’m going to be consumed.

在死亡中嚎幸，我將會被吃完。

I’m going into the ground just the way I am,

我將會以我的樣子回到土地中寄猩，

and there, I invite every microbe

在那里嫉晶，我邀請所有的微生物

and detritus-er

和巖屑，

and decomposer

和分解者田篇，

to have their fill --

取用他們的份——

I think they’ll find me delicious.

我想替废，他們會覺得我很可口。

I do.

真的泊柬。

So the best thing about my attitude, I think, is that it’s real.

我想椎镣，關(guān)于我的態(tài)度， 最棒的一點(diǎn)就是兽赁，它是真實(shí)的状答。

You can see it.

你們可以看見它冷守。

You can observe it.

你們可以觀察到它。

It actually happens.

它是真正發(fā)生的惊科。

Well, maybe not my enriching the gift,

也許不是我充實(shí)了那份禮物拍摇，

I don’t know about that --

我不確定那一點(diǎn)——

but my life has certainly been enriched by other people.

但我的生命肯定是 被其他人給充實(shí)了。

By TED,

包括 TED馆截，

which introduced me to a whole network of people

它讓我認(rèn)識了一大堆人充活，

who have enriched my life,

這些人充實(shí)了我的生命，

including Tricia McGillis, my website designer,

包括崔夏麥格里斯蜡娶， 我的網(wǎng)站設(shè)計(jì)師混卵，

who’s working with my wonderful daughter

他和我那位很棒的女兒合作，

to take my website and turn it into something

把我的網(wǎng)站轉(zhuǎn)變成我只需要

where all I have to do is write a blog.

去寫網(wǎng)志就夠了的地方窖张。

I don’t have to use the executive brain function ...

我不需要去使用大腦執(zhí)行功能……

Ha, ha, ha, I win!

哈哈哈幕随，我贏了！

And I am so grateful to you.

我也很感謝你們宿接。

I don’t want to say, "the audience,"

我并不想用「觀眾」這個(gè)詞赘淮，

because I don’t really see it as we’re two separate things.

因?yàn)槲也⒉挥X得 我們是兩樣分開的東西。

I think of it in terms of quantum physics, again.

我再次用量子物理的角度來思考澄阳。

And, you know, quantum physicists are not exactly sure what happens

你們知道的，量子物理 并不能完全肯定

when the wave becomes a particle.

當(dāng)波變成微粒時(shí)會發(fā)生什么事踏拜。

There are different theories --

有不同的理論——

the collapse of the wave function,

波函數(shù)坍塌碎赢、

decoherence --

退相干——

but they’re all agreed on one thing:

但這些理論都有個(gè)共同點(diǎn)：

that reality comes into being through an interaction.

現(xiàn)實(shí)透過交互作用才存在。

(Voice breaking) So do you.

（聲音斷續(xù)）各位也是速梗。

And every audience I’ve ever had,

我曾經(jīng)遇見的所有的觀眾也是肮塞，

past and present.

過去的和現(xiàn)在的都是。

Thank you so much for making my life real.

謝謝你們讓我的人生變真實(shí)姻锁。

Thank you.

謝謝你們枕赵。