每一段美好的關(guān)系,都從陌生人發(fā)展而來(lái)携兵。
<一>
第一次與陌生人打交道時(shí)該用英語(yǔ)說(shuō)些什么?要怎么說(shuō)炭懊?聽(tīng)上去似乎是很棘手的問(wèn)題稻励。其實(shí)至非,如果你擅于言談,那么只需把自己那一套復(fù)制下來(lái)糠聪,將載體換為英語(yǔ)即可荒椭,人和人之間的差異性,其實(shí)沒(méi)有想象中那么大舰蟆;如果你天生不善交際趣惠,那么希望這篇文章能為你帶來(lái)些許思路。
<二>
與初識(shí)之人的第一次交流的重要性不必多說(shuō)身害,第一印象除了看顏值味悄,剩下的就是一個(gè)人的言談舉止。如何用英語(yǔ)結(jié)識(shí)陌生人塌鸯,注意三點(diǎn)就好侍瑟。
1. Make the Person Comfortable
無(wú)論用英語(yǔ)或中文,讓對(duì)方覺(jué)得與你交談很舒服非常重要丙猬。首先涨颜,得把自己的狀態(tài)調(diào)整好,別人才愿意和你說(shuō)話茧球。
a. Have approachable body language.
讓自己保持一個(gè)較為開(kāi)放的姿勢(shì)和狀態(tài)庭瑰,比如不要雙手交疊在胸前,這通常會(huì)被認(rèn)為是生人勿近的信號(hào)抢埋。
正對(duì)著說(shuō)話的人弹灭,眼神不要亂飛,要與對(duì)方有眼神交流揪垄。
別離他/她太遠(yuǎn)穷吮,顯得太疏離,也不能太近饥努,顯得太猥瑣捡鱼。
不要老看手機(jī),重要的事情默默說(shuō)三遍肪凛。
b. Give a friendly greeting.
Okay堰汉,狀態(tài)調(diào)整好辽社,可以開(kāi)始第一步了伟墙。張嘴首先就是打招呼翘鸭,顯示出你的友好和適度的熱情就行。
e.g. “Hi, I'm Grace, what's your name?”
先介紹自己戳葵,再問(wèn)對(duì)方的名字就乓。既友好,又占據(jù)了這場(chǎng)對(duì)話的主導(dǎo)權(quán)拱烁。待到對(duì)方說(shuō)出他/她的名字后生蚁,你可以默念一遍,對(duì)方會(huì)覺(jué)得頗為受用戏自。至于為什么邦投,回憶一下電視劇里類似的場(chǎng)景,特別是撩妹高手擅笔,是不是都用了這一套志衣?
記住一定要專注,不要讓對(duì)方覺(jué)得你是來(lái)找他/她打發(fā)時(shí)間的猛们,流氓和高富帥之間的差距念脯,就體現(xiàn)在這兒旦棉。
c. Keep things light and positive.
在我看來(lái)锅论,交流其實(shí)就是兩個(gè)人能量的交換,人人都愿意接近正能量铸史。無(wú)論是閑談庐橙,還是深聊假勿,最好說(shuō)些輕松愉快的事情。尤其是和不熟的人聊天态鳖,一定要注意這一點(diǎn)废登,否則對(duì)方只會(huì)默默轉(zhuǎn)身。
d. Start with a small compliment.
學(xué)會(huì)贊美是一個(gè)人最值得擁有的品質(zhì)之一郁惜,不過(guò)別用力過(guò)猛堡距,那樣會(huì)被當(dāng)成獻(xiàn)殷勤。
夸贊對(duì)方是開(kāi)啟一場(chǎng)談話的最佳入口之一兆蕉,試想一下羽戒,被夸的人心里美滋滋的,會(huì)更愿意和你交流虎韵。
e.g. "I love your shoes, where did you get them?"
如果你是高手易稠,大可用這種方式作為開(kāi)場(chǎng)白。
2. Start Talking
簡(jiǎn)短的開(kāi)場(chǎng)白說(shuō)完了包蓝,如果對(duì)方?jīng)]有走開(kāi)驶社,一場(chǎng)交談就此開(kāi)始企量。
a. Find common ground.
共同點(diǎn)并非一定是個(gè)人愛(ài)好之類的東西,事實(shí)上這里的共同點(diǎn)越簡(jiǎn)單亡电、越大眾届巩,就越好。你可以說(shuō)說(shuō)“下了一周的大暴雨”份乒,“學(xué)校的某個(gè)明星老師”恕汇,“風(fēng)云學(xué)生”等。
e.g. "Professor Hoffer is hilarious."
"Can you believe all of this rain?"
"I just love coming to Starbucks Cafe."
P.S. 大家可以想想如何開(kāi)展這些話題或辖。
b. Reveal something about yourself.
找到點(diǎn)之后可不能傻傻等著對(duì)方發(fā)話瘾英,是你來(lái)找人家搭訕的,當(dāng)然得適當(dāng)說(shuō)說(shuō)自己颂暇,但信息不能太私人了缺谴。
針對(duì)以上前兩個(gè)例子,我們來(lái)模擬一下耳鸯,繼續(xù):
"He's the best teacher I ever had. He's basically the reason I'm an English major."
"The rain is just awful. I'm training for a marathon and had to do my long runs on the treadmill -- it's the worst."
P.S. 對(duì)比一下湿蛔,和你的想法有什么不同?
c. Engage the other person.
到了這一步片拍,是時(shí)候讓對(duì)方加入對(duì)話了煌集。最簡(jiǎn)單的方法就是:拋出問(wèn)題。問(wèn)題不要太私人化捌省,比如健康狀況苫纤,宗教信仰,政治觀點(diǎn)等纲缓。輕松簡(jiǎn)單即可卷拘,最好是開(kāi)放式問(wèn)題。別問(wèn)對(duì)方那種“是與不是”就能結(jié)束整個(gè)話題的問(wèn)題祝高。
接著來(lái):
"How about you? Are you an English major, or are you here for Professor Hoffer's crazy stories?"
"How about you? Has the rain kept you from doing anything fun this week?"
d. Follow up with a question or statement.
等到對(duì)方回答之后栗弟,你需要自己判斷以何種方式繼續(xù)交談了,可以繼續(xù)問(wèn)個(gè)小問(wèn)題工闺,或者簡(jiǎn)單表個(gè)態(tài)乍赫,甚至開(kāi)個(gè)小玩笑也可以,總之要隨機(jī)應(yīng)變陆蟆。
我們繼續(xù)上面的例子:
對(duì)方: "I'm an English major too. I've always wanted to be an English major, but Hoffer's an added bonus for sure."
你: "Oh, really? What are you thinking of doing with that? ”
對(duì)方: "I don't mind the rain so much, but it made it hard for me to walk my dog! That was so annoying."
你: "You have a dog too? I have a little poodle named Stella. Do you have a picture of your dog?"
e. Notice your surroundings.
至此雷厂,對(duì)話已經(jīng)步入正規(guī)了,如果你想真正結(jié)識(shí)對(duì)方叠殷,接下來(lái)就需要挖掘更多話題改鲫。最簡(jiǎn)單的方法就是多多觀察周圍的事物,沒(méi)有限制,你能借題發(fā)揮就行像棘。注意得讓對(duì)方也能參與進(jìn)來(lái)稽亏,可以是他/身上的配飾,衣服缕题,手邊的書(shū)截歉,等等。
e.g. "You ran the Xiamen International Marathon too? Which year? I don't know what I did with my t-shirt."
"What do you think about the cappella concert tonight? I've seen these flyers all over campus, but I don't know if I want to go."
f. Take the time to listen.
一定要認(rèn)真聽(tīng)對(duì)方在說(shuō)什么避除,千萬(wàn)不要接二連三地用問(wèn)題轟炸對(duì)方怎披。如果對(duì)方在跟你說(shuō)話的過(guò)程中對(duì)某個(gè)事情評(píng)價(jià)了幾句胸嘁,說(shuō)不定這正是他/她感興趣的點(diǎn)瓶摆,不妨就勢(shì)說(shuō)下去,將談話引到更深的層次性宏。有很多人不是不會(huì)說(shuō)群井,而是不會(huì)傾聽(tīng)。
3. Finish Strong
到了要結(jié)束的時(shí)候毫胜,也不能草草收尾书斜。想要有機(jī)會(huì)進(jìn)一步交流,就得認(rèn)真對(duì)待酵使。
可以再多講一些關(guān)于你的事荐吉,同樣不要太過(guò)私人,不要談人生觀等大話題口渔,多少要適度样屠。比如你喜歡的小動(dòng)物,最近愛(ài)聽(tīng)的唱片等缺脉。讓對(duì)方多了解你一點(diǎn)痪欲,他/她對(duì)你的印象會(huì)更深,也會(huì)明白你不僅僅只想和其交談一次的想法攻礼。
a. If it's going well, mention hanging out again.
如果這場(chǎng)交流還算愉快业踢,不要害怕提下次見(jiàn)面的事,詢問(wèn)對(duì)方電話號(hào)碼礁扮,約看電影都可以知举。
e.g. "I'm really serious about seeing that new movie with you. Can I get your number so we can work out the details later?"
b. Say goodbye nicely.
要是因?yàn)閯e的事要離開(kāi),一定要好好和對(duì)方說(shuō)再見(jiàn)太伊,讓他/她意識(shí)到你在意這個(gè)朋友雇锡,而非簡(jiǎn)單地打發(fā)時(shí)間。
下面這些例子都可以運(yùn)用起來(lái):
e.g. "I'd love to talk more about Spain, but I haven't said hi to Nina yet, and it looks like she's about to leave."
"Oh, there's my best friend, Kelley. Have you met her yet? Come on, I'll introduce you."
"I wish I could keep talking to you, but AP Calculus is calling my name. I'm sure I'll see you soon, though."
兩人道別后倦畅,愉快的初次交流就這樣完美收?qǐng)隼舱谔恰F鋵?shí)沒(méi)那么難,對(duì)不對(duì)叠赐?不要求你說(shuō)些高深莫測(cè)或者特別專業(yè)的話欲账,簡(jiǎn)單輕松就好屡江。相對(duì)地,對(duì)英語(yǔ)水平的要求也沒(méi)有想象中那么高赛不,不是嗎惩嘉?
<三>
所以還等什么呢?下次遇到看對(duì)眼的陌生人踢故,不管用中文還是英文文黎,主動(dòng)出擊吧。等你們的好消息殿较!
P.S.再次提醒耸峭,文章中的例子只是起一個(gè)拋磚引玉的作用,大家一定不要生搬硬套淋纲,認(rèn)真思考后的東西劳闹,才真正能為你所用。
每日一句:May we all grow into a dandelion, based on the roots of the earth, there are dreams of flying.
愿我們都成為一株蒲公英洽瞬,有立足大地的根莖本涕,也有心懷夢(mèng)想的飛翔。