這篇文章雖然標(biāo)題寫的很爛大街氏豌，但是有很多的內(nèi)容都很戳中實(shí)際，比如我們?nèi)绾翁幚砬榫w上的問題愤兵，我們?nèi)绾慰创寺拱裕绾握曌约骸Ｋ晕以诳吹揭曨l之后就決定抄錄下字幕恐似，分享給大家杜跷，也希望給大家?guī)韱l(fā)～
1.
You?realise that most of the bad behaviour of other people really comes down to fear and anxiety. Rather than, as it's generally easier to presume, nastiness or idiocy. You loosen your hold on self-righteousness and stop thinking of the world as populated by monsters or fools. It makes things less black and white at first, but in time, a great deal more interesting.
你意識(shí)到傍念，他人不好的行為其實(shí)大多是出于恐懼和焦慮矫夷，并不是因?yàn)閮?nèi)心齷齪，或是白癡愚蠢憋槐。你原來想當(dāng)然地那樣認(rèn)為双藕，其實(shí)是不對的。你不再自以為是地覺得在這個(gè)世界上到處都是怪物或傻瓜阳仔。雖然事情不再非黑即白忧陪，但是隨著時(shí)間的流逝，這個(gè)世界變得更有趣了近范。
2.
You learn, that what is in your head can't automatically be understood by other people. You realise that, unfortunately, you going to have articulate your intentions and feelings with the use of words and can't fairly blame other people, for not getting what you mean until you've spoken calmly and clearly.
你發(fā)現(xiàn)嘶摊，其他人并不能自然而然地讀懂你心中所想。因此评矩，你意識(shí)到你必須要用語言有力地表達(dá)自己的意圖和感受叶堆。你必須冷靜、清晰地向別人解釋斥杜，否則你不能責(zé)怪別人聽不懂你的想法虱颗。
3.
You learn that remarkably you do sometimes get things wrong. With huge courage, you take your first faltering steps towards, once in a while, apologising.
你終于意識(shí)到自己難免也會(huì)犯錯(cuò)。盡管有時(shí)候你支支吾吾蔗喂、猶猶豫豫的忘渔，但你鼓足了勇氣，敢于承認(rèn)自己的錯(cuò)誤缰儿，向別人道歉畦粮。
4.
You learn to be confident not by realising that you're great, but by learning that everyone else is just stupid, scared and lost as you are. We're all making it up as we go along, and that's fine.
你開始變得充滿自信。不是因?yàn)樽约河卸嗝磧?yōu)秀，而是因?yàn)槟惆l(fā)現(xiàn)锈玉，其實(shí)身邊的人和你一樣愚蠢爪飘、膽小和迷茫。一步一步走下去拉背，我們都會(huì)成功的师崎。所以，不要太介意這些椅棺。
5.
You forgive your parents, because you realise that they didn’t put you on this earth in order to insult you. They were just painfully out of their depth and struggling with demons of their own. Anger turns, at points, to pity and compassion.
你開始體諒自己的父母犁罩，因?yàn)槟阋庾R(shí)到父母不是為了辱罵你，才把你帶到這個(gè)世界來的两疚。他們也在和自己內(nèi)心的邪惡小人艱難地斗爭床估。所以他們有時(shí)候憤怒，有時(shí)候充滿了憐憫和同情诱渤。
6.
You learn that enormous influence of so called 'small' things on mood: bed-times, blood sugar and alcohol levels, degrees of background stress and so on.?And as a result, you learn never to bring up an important, contentious issue with a loved one until everyone is well rested, no one is drunk, you've had some food, nothing else is alarming you and you aren't rushing to catch a train.
你發(fā)現(xiàn)丐巫，情緒上的這些“小東西”，比如有沒有休息好勺美，血糖高不高递胧，有沒有喝醉，是不是倍感壓力等赡茸，都有著巨大的“殺傷力”缎脾。所以，你和你愛的人要在都精力充沛占卧、頭腦清醒遗菠、吃飽喝足、心情氣和华蜒，也不急著去趕火車的前提下才能好好談那些富有爭議的話題辙纬。
7.
You give up sulking. If someone hurts you, you don't store up the hatred and the hurt for days. You remember you'll be dead soon. You don’t expect others to know what's wrong. You tell them straight, and if they get it, you forgive them. And if they don’t, in a different way, you forgive them too.
你不再生悶氣。如果有人傷害了你叭喜，你不會(huì)只是忍氣吞聲贺拣、積攢怒火。人終有一死域滥，你不必指望別人意識(shí)到自己的錯(cuò)誤纵柿。所以，不如打開天窗說亮話启绰，如果他們能明白昂儒，那就原諒他們。如果他們不明白委可，那就換種方式原諒他們渊跋。
8.
You cease to believe in perfection in pretty much, every area. There aren't perfect people, perfect jobs, or perfect lives. Instead, you pivot towards an appreciation of what is to use the psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott's exemplary phrase 'good enough'. You realise that many things in your life are at once quiet frustrating and yet, in many ways, eminently good enough.
你不再執(zhí)著于事事完美腊嗡。這世上沒有完美的人，沒有完美的工作拾酝，更沒有完美的人生燕少。相反，你非常贊賞心理學(xué)大師唐納德·溫尼克特的經(jīng)典語錄“足夠好了蒿囤，及時(shí)行樂”客们。你發(fā)現(xiàn)從前那些令你非常沮喪的事情，換個(gè)角度重新看看材诽，其實(shí)已經(jīng)足夠好了底挫。
9.
You learn the virtues of being a little more pessimistic about how things will turn out and as a result ,emerge as a calmer ,more patient and more forgiving soul. You lose some of your idealism and become a far less maddening person.?
你意識(shí)到應(yīng)該降低一點(diǎn)期望值。對萬事抱有一種稍微悲觀的態(tài)度脸侥，這樣可以是你變得更冷靜建邓、更有耐心、更寬容睁枕。你丟掉一部分理想主義官边，變得不那么歇斯底里。
10.
You learn to see that everyone's weaknesses of character are linked to counter-balancing strengths. Rather than isolating their weaknesses, you look at the whole picture. Yes, someone is rather than pedantic, but they also beautifully precise and a rock at times of turmoil. Yes someone is a bit messy, but at the same time brilliantly creative and very visionary. You realise,?truly realise, that perfect people don’t exist, and every strength will be tagged to a weakness.
你開始懂得每個(gè)人既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)外遇，也有缺點(diǎn)注簿，就像天平的兩端一樣。所以你要懂得用全面的眼光去看待別人臀规。有的人固執(zhí)迂腐滩援，但同時(shí)一絲不茍栅隐，哪怕是塊石頭塔嬉，偶爾也會(huì)晃動(dòng)。還有的人不拘小節(jié)租悄，但他們也常常獨(dú)辟蹊徑谨究，具有遠(yuǎn)見。你發(fā)自內(nèi)心地意識(shí)到泣棋，人無完人胶哲，強(qiáng)與弱之間一定存在著一種平衡。
11.
You fall in love a bit less easily. It's difficult, in a way. When you were less mature, you could develop a crush in an instant. Now, you're poignantly aware that everyone, however externally charming or accomplished, would be a bit of pain from close up. You develop loyalty to what you already have.?
你不再輕言說愛潭辈，這一點(diǎn)其實(shí)很難做到鸯屿。如果你還不夠成熟，你很容易對他人一見鐘情把敢。但現(xiàn)在寄摆，你開始漸漸意識(shí)到，有些人只是金玉其外修赞，敗絮其中婶恼。你忠于自己所擁有的一切。
12.
You learn that you are rather surprisingly quiet a difficult person to live with. You share some of you earlier sentimentality toward yourself. You go into friendships and relationships offering others kindly warnings of how and when you might prove a challenge.?
你驚奇地發(fā)現(xiàn)，有時(shí)自己是一個(gè)很難相處的人勾邦。當(dāng)結(jié)識(shí)新朋友或者開啟新感情的時(shí)候蚣录，你會(huì)和他們分享自己從前多么感情用事、不計(jì)后果眷篇，你會(huì)善意地提醒他們萎河，在什么時(shí)候和什么情境下，你會(huì)變得特別難對付蕉饼。
13.
You learn to forgive yourself for your errors and foolishness. You realise the unfruitful self-absorption involved in simply flogging yourself for past mistakes. You become more of a friend to yourself. Of course you're an idiot, but you're still a loveable one, as we all are.?
你能夠正視自己的錯(cuò)誤和愚蠢公壤。你意識(shí)到沉溺、糾結(jié)于過去的錯(cuò)誤之中是無意義的椎椰，那只會(huì)讓自己止步不前∠梅現(xiàn)在，你更像是自己的知心朋友慨飘。你確實(shí)挺傻的确憨，不過傻得可愛，我們大家都一樣瓤的。
14.
You learn that part of what maturity involves is making peace, with the stubbornly child-like bits of you that will always remain. You cease trying to be a grown up at every occasion. You accept that we all have our regressive moments and when the inner two years old you, raises its head, you greet them generously and give them that attention they need.?
你發(fā)現(xiàn)休弃，真正的成熟其實(shí)保留著一部分孩子氣。你不需要事事都做個(gè)成年人圈膏，我們每個(gè)人都會(huì)時(shí)不時(shí)地像孩子一樣塔猾。你發(fā)現(xiàn)做回兩歲的自己也挺好的，你悅納這樣的自我稽坤，也用心呵護(hù)這樣的自我丈甸。
15.
You cease to put too much hope in grant plans?for the kind of happiness you expect can last for years. You start to celebrate the little things that go well. You realise that satisfaction comes in increments of minutes. You're delighted if one day passes by without too much bother. You take greater interest in flowers and in evening sky. You develope a taste for small pleasures.?你不再執(zhí)著于樹立遠(yuǎn)大的目標(biāo)，它太過縹緲尿褪，很難實(shí)現(xiàn)睦擂。你開始為自己取的的小成績而歡欣鼓舞。你發(fā)現(xiàn)杖玲，時(shí)間才是治愈一切的最好的良藥顿仇。你喜歡這種平淡無奇、波瀾不驚的歲月
你為花朵和夜空著迷摆马，享受著小小的快樂臼闻。
16.
What people in general thinks of you ceases to be such a concern. You realise that the minds of others?are muddled places and you don’t try so hard to polish your image in everyone else's eyes. What?counts is that you and one or two others are OK with you being you. You giving up on fame and start to rely on love.
你完全不在乎別人怎樣看待你，你意識(shí)到別人心囤采，海底針述呐，所以沒必要在每個(gè)人面前都拼命示好。有三兩好友能讀懂你就足夠了斑唬。你不再追逐名利市埋，而是開始追求愛黎泣。
17.
You get better at hearing feedback. Rather than assuming that anyone who criticises you is either trying to humiliate you or is making a mistake, you accept that maybe it could be an idea to take a few things on board. You start to see that you can listen to criticism and survive it without having to put on your armour and deny there was ever a problem.
你比以前更能聽取別人的意見，別人的批評其實(shí)并不是羞辱你的話語缤谎，也不是無稽之談抒倚。你認(rèn)真聆聽，因?yàn)檫@些批評坷澡，說不準(zhǔn)會(huì)有些幫助托呕。你不再身披鎧甲，自行其是频敛，對這些批評置之不理项郊。你試著去接受它們，從中進(jìn)步斟赚。
18.
You realise the extend to which you tend to live, day by day, in too great proximity to certain of your problems and issues. You remember more and more that you need to get out and get a perspective on the things that pain you. You take more walks in nature, you might get a pet, they don’t fret like we do and you appreciate the distant galaxies above us in the night sky.?
你發(fā)現(xiàn)着降，在漫長的生命洪流中，層出不窮的問題和麻煩總是和我們?nèi)缬半S形拗军。所以你意識(shí)到要想辦法擺脫它們任洞，或者換個(gè)角度來看待問題。你變得更喜歡在自然中散步发侵，你可能還會(huì)帶上一只寵物交掏，它們看上去總是無憂無慮的。你也喜歡凝望頭頂遙遠(yuǎn)的星河刃鳄，浩瀚的宇宙盅弛。
19.
You recognise how your distinctive past colours your response to events and learn to compensate for the distortions that can result. You accept, that because of how your childhood went, you have a predisposition to exaggerate in certain areas. You become suspicious of your own first impulses around particular topics. You realise, sometimes, not to go with your first feelings.
你發(fā)現(xiàn)，過去獨(dú)特的經(jīng)歷影響著你對萬事萬物的態(tài)度叔锐。你學(xué)會(huì)了怎樣彌補(bǔ)歪曲事實(shí)帶來的不良后果挪鹏，因?yàn)槟惆l(fā)現(xiàn)在孩童時(shí)代，你就總是喜歡夸大某些事實(shí)掌腰。所以你開始懷疑自己的沖動(dòng)有時(shí)候是不正確的狰住，所以你意識(shí)到张吉，不能意氣用事齿梁。
20.
When you start a friendship, you realise that other people don’t principally want to know your good news, so much as gain an insight into what troubles and worries you, so that they can, in turn, feel less lonely with the pains of their own hearts. You become a better friend. Because you see that what friendship is really about is a sharing of vulnerability.
當(dāng)你結(jié)交了新朋友，你發(fā)現(xiàn)有些人好像并不那么在乎你好的方面肮蛹，反而更想了解你的麻煩和憂慮勺择。因?yàn)檫@樣他們就會(huì)覺得自己并不孤單，原來有人和自己一樣痛苦伦忠。你明白了真正的友誼是什么樣子的省核，朋友之間應(yīng)該坦誠地分享彼此的脆弱。所以你成了一個(gè)更好的朋友昆码。
