文如題送巡，一篇心靈雞湯营曼。
珍妮弗·安妮斯頓今年47歲囊扳，被人物雜志評為世界最美麗的女人。這已經(jīng)是她繼2004年后第二次中選了净蚤，并且她還連續(xù)16年獲選“全球最性感女人”。現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中的安妮斯頓熱愛自己的事業(yè)输硝，享受幸福的愛情今瀑，熱心做公益慈善，離過婚又結(jié)了婚点把，從不對前夫惡言惡語橘荠，2016年她在“福布斯頂級賺錢女演員”榜單中排名第四。另外她出過四款香水郎逃，建了一個(gè)電影公司Echo Film哥童。除了美的封號，她也算名副其實(shí)的成功人士褒翰。
以下是我翻譯的她對婚姻的感悟贮懈，摘自《名利場》對她的專訪匀泊。
"we don't need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own 'happily ever after' for ourselves."
“我們不需要結(jié)婚，也不需要做母親才算完整朵你，我們自己決定自己的'幸福'”
“A man divorcing would never be accused of choosing career over children,” she says. “That really pissed me off. I’ve never in my life said I didn’t want to have children. I did and I do and I will! The women that inspire me are the ones who have careers and children; why would I want to limit myself? I’ve always wanted to have children, and I would never give up that experience for a career. I want to have it all.”
“一個(gè)男人離婚永遠(yuǎn)不會被指責(zé)選擇職業(yè)而不要孩子各聘，”她說。 “真的很生氣撬呢。 我從來沒有在我的生活中說我不想有孩子伦吠。 我過去想，現(xiàn)在也想魂拦，將來也會毛仪！ 激勵(lì)我的女人是那些既有事業(yè)又有孩子的人; 為什么我想限制自己？ 我一直想有孩子芯勘，我永遠(yuǎn)不會因?yàn)樯⒆佣艞壩业穆殬I(yè)生涯箱靴。 我想擁有一切『摄担”
“Relationships are two people; everyone is accountable. A lot goes into a relationship coming together, and a lot goes into a relationship falling apart. She’d say, ‘Even if it’s 98 percent the other person’s fault, it’s 2 percent yours, and that’s what we’re going to focus on.’ You can only clean up your side of the street.”
“關(guān)系是兩個(gè)人的; 每個(gè)人都要負(fù)責(zé)衡怀。 很多事兒可以建立關(guān)系，也有好多事兒可以分裂關(guān)系安疗。 即使是另一個(gè)人有98％的錯(cuò)誤抛杨，剩下的2％也是你的，這就是我們要關(guān)注的荐类，你只能清理你的街道怖现。”
“There’s a lot I don’t understand, a lot I don’t know, and probably never will know, really. So I choose to take away with me as much integrity and dignity and respect for what that relationship was as I can. I feel as if I’m trying to scrounge around and pick up the pieces in the midst of this media circus.”
“有很多我不明白玉罐，很多我不知道屈嗤，可能永遠(yuǎn)不會知道，真的吊输。 所以我選擇盡可能從我們以前的關(guān)系里帶走我的誠實(shí)饶号、尊嚴(yán)和尊重。 我覺得我好像在這個(gè)媒體馬戲團(tuán)的周圍一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)撿拾起來季蚂∶４”
(Marriage)It’s like the ebb and flow of every relationship,” Aniston says. “It’s hard; it gets easy; it gets fun again. What’s hard to sustain is some ideal that it’s perfect. That’s ridiculous. What’s fantastic about marriage is getting through those ebbs and flows with the same person, and looking across the room and saying, ‘I’m still here. And I still love you.’ You re-meet, reconnect. You have marriages within marriages within marriages. That’s what I love about marriage. That’s what I want in marriage. It’s unfortunate, but we live in a very disposable society. Those moments where it looks like ‘Uh-oh, this isn’t working!’—those are the most important, transformative moments. Most couples draw up divorce papers when they’re missing out on an amazing moment of deepening and enlightenment and connection.”
婚姻中每段關(guān)系都有漩渦和波浪，有時(shí)很艱難扭屁，有時(shí)很寧靜透硝，有時(shí)充滿樂趣。最艱難的時(shí)刻往往是你想追求一種完美的境界疯搅，但那是可笑而不現(xiàn)實(shí)的÷癖茫婚姻最神奇之處在于幔欧，在經(jīng)過了那么多漩渦和波浪后罪治，站在你身邊的還是同一個(gè)人，你仍然深切地感受到礁蔗，自己愛著對方觉义。每次爭執(zhí)，總能讓你們重新相遇浴井，重新相知晒骇，重新相愛，在婚姻中磺浙，你們再展開一段新的婚姻洪囤，如此永遠(yuǎn)延續(xù)，沒有終點(diǎn)撕氧。這就是我喜歡婚姻的原因瘤缩，也是我希望從婚姻中得到的。但是很不幸伦泥，我們生活在一個(gè)任性的時(shí)代里剥啤，一遇到問題，首先想到的就是‘糟糕不脯，過不下去了’府怯，那是最重要、決定性的時(shí)刻防楷，因?yàn)橐坏┯辛诉@種想法牺丙，人們自然而然就簽訂了離婚協(xié)議，他們不知道域帐，自己已經(jīng)錯(cuò)過互相遷就赘被、互相認(rèn)錯(cuò)、重新證明愛情的機(jī)會肖揣，那才是最美好的民假。
“You can’t force a relationship, even if it’s your view of how you would like it to be conducted. Obviously two people leave a relationship because there’s a different thought pattern happening. My goal is to try and achieve a very deep, committed relationship. That’s what I’m interested in, but it’s someone’s prerogative to be or not to be in or out of a relationship.”
“你不能強(qiáng)迫一種婚姻關(guān)系，即使你有這個(gè)想法龙优。 顯然兩個(gè)人因?yàn)椴煌乃季S模式發(fā)生而分手羊异。 我的目標(biāo)是嘗試和實(shí)現(xiàn)一個(gè)非常深刻，承諾的婚姻關(guān)系彤断。 這是我感興趣的野舶，但別人有權(quán)選擇進(jìn)入或者離開這個(gè)關(guān)系≡籽茫”
“Relationships are complicated, whether they’re friendships or business relationships or parent relationships. I don’t think anybody in a marriage gets to a point where they feel like ‘We’ve got it!’ You’re two people continually evolving, and there will be times when those changes clash. There are all these levels of growth—and when you stop growing together, that’s when the problems happen.”
“關(guān)系本身就是復(fù)雜的平道，無論是友誼還是商業(yè)關(guān)系或父母關(guān)系。 我不認(rèn)為婚姻中的任何人達(dá)到“我得到了”的地步供炼。你們是兩個(gè)不斷變化的人一屋，有時(shí)這些變化會產(chǎn)生沖突窘疮。 有很多這種成長水平 - 但當(dāng)你們停止一起成長，就是問題發(fā)生之時(shí)冀墨。
You’re forced to re-discover yourself and take it to another level. If you can find a way to see the glass half full, these are the moments when you learn the most. I’ve had to re-introduce myself to myself in a way that’s different.”
你被迫重新發(fā)現(xiàn)自己闸衫，把它帶到另一個(gè)層次。 如果你能找到一種方式看出來玻璃杯半滿诽嘉，那也就是你學(xué)到最多的時(shí)刻蔚出。 我不得不以一種不同的方式重新向自己介紹自己。
“I am not defined by this relationship. I am not defined by the part they’re making me play in the triangle.”
我不是由這種（婚姻）關(guān)系定義的虫腋。 我不是由他們讓我在三角形（朱莉骄酗、皮特）中玩的部分定義的。
“It was that thing about being a nurturer; I love taking care of people, and I definitely put his needs before mine sometimes. It’s seamless; somewhere along the way, you sort of lose yourself. You just don’t know when it happens. It’s such an insidious thing, you don’t really see where it started—and where you ended. There’s no one to blame but yourself. I’ve always been that way in relationships, even with my mom. It’s not the healthiest. I feel like I’ve broken the pattern now. I’ll never let myself down like that again. I feel like my sense of self is being strengthened because of it.”
“這是一個(gè)關(guān)于作為養(yǎng)育者的事情; 我喜歡照顧人岔乔，我有時(shí)候絕對把他的需要放在我的前面酥筝，甚至感覺不到我在這么做。這樣一來雏门，你會覺得你失去自己嘿歌。 你只是不知道它什么時(shí)候發(fā)生。 這是一個(gè)陰險(xiǎn)的事情茁影，你真的不知道從哪兒開始——你在哪里結(jié)束宙帝。 沒有人去責(zé)怪，要怪就怪自己募闲。 在很多關(guān)系里我都以養(yǎng)育者的身份存在步脓，甚至與我的媽媽。 這不是最健康的浩螺。 我覺得我現(xiàn)在打破了模式靴患。 我永遠(yuǎn)不會再讓自己失望。 我覺得我的自我感覺因?yàn)殡x婚這件事而得到加強(qiáng)要出≡Ь”
“I come from a fighting family, and I had a tough time arguing,” she says. “Fighting scared me. I wouldn’t speak up for myself. That’s something I’ve learned; I will always speak my mind.”
“我是來自于一個(gè)爭吵的家庭，為了爭辯費(fèi)勁口舌患蹂。我害怕吵架或颊。我不敢為自己評理。這也是我學(xué)到的传于，我永遠(yuǎn)都要說出自己的想法囱挑。”
“Besides, it’s all in the past,” she adds. “This doesn’t kill you. You move on. You can’t let the devastation of a divorce take over and win—let it make you this bitter, closed-off, angry, skeptical person. Then you’re just falling victim to it. You don’t want to shut your heart down. You don’t want to feel that when a marriage ends, your life is over. You can survive anything. Compared to what other people are surviving out there in the world, this is not so bad, in the grand scheme of things. Human endurance is unbelievable. ”
“過去的就過去吧沼溜。過去不會殺了你平挑。你繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。 你不能讓離婚的破壞接管和贏得你的生活 - 把你變成苦澀系草，封閉弹惦，憤怒否淤，多疑的人。 那樣你只是它的受害者棠隐。 你不想閉上你的心。 你不想覺得檐嚣，當(dāng)婚姻結(jié)束助泽，你的生活結(jié)束了。 你完全可以活下來嚎京。 與其他人在世界上生存下來相比嗡贺，在大事兒上，你并不是那么糟糕鞍帝。 人的耐力是令人難以置信的诫睬。 ”
“It’s out there,” she says. “It will happen. There’s an amazing man that’s wandering the streets right now who’s the father of my children. In five years I would hope to be married and have a kid. I still believe in marriage 100 percent. When I hear people say that they would never do it again, it’s like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Why would you ever close your heart down?”
“愛就在那兒，愛會發(fā)生帕涌，有一個(gè)非常好的人摄凡，現(xiàn)在在街上徘徊，他將是我的孩子的父親蚓曼。 五年來亲澡，我希望結(jié)婚，有一個(gè)孩子纫版。 我仍然100％相信婚姻床绪。 當(dāng)我聽到人們說，他們永遠(yuǎn)不想再結(jié)婚了其弊，就好像你不喜歡你的臉硬要給鼻子拿掉癞己。 你為什么要閉上你的心？”
“Maybe it’s a fairy tale, but I believe in happily ever after.”
“也許愛情是一個(gè)童話梭伐，但我相信在以后會幸福痹雅。”
236集《老友記》“瑞秋”這個(gè)角色成就了安妮斯頓籽御，讓她成為永遠(yuǎn)的“美國甜心”练慕，拿獎(jiǎng)拿到手軟，同時(shí)也讓人忘記了她其實(shí)是安妮斯頓技掏，并不是瑞秋铃将。她說：“不是每個(gè)人都是生活的贏家。不是每一集的《老友記》都很精彩哑梳。不是每一個(gè)你交往的男人都很出色劲阎。他們對我的期待都太多了○妫”
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