一年一度的“諾貝爾”全民狂歡周又到來了。
在這周里懦铺，媒體人不愁沒新聞可寫捉貌，營(yíng)銷狗不愁沒話題可蹭，上班族也不用擔(dān)心面對(duì)辦公室冷場(chǎng)冬念。甚至就算今年得獎(jiǎng)?wù)吣阋粋€(gè)都不認(rèn)識(shí)也沒關(guān)系趁窃，最起碼還能發(fā)表一下感言：倒霉的村上春樹他今年又沒戲。
但大家聊來聊去急前，來來回回就是那么幾個(gè)梗也很尷尬呀醒陆。
相逢就是緣分，作為對(duì)你十分有品味的點(diǎn)開這篇文章的獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)裆针，我保你看完全文立刻就能熟練掌握解構(gòu)鮑勃迪倫的獨(dú)特技巧刨摩。
快速問答：
怎樣十分有逼格的裝作在得知鮑勃迪倫獲獎(jiǎng)以前就已經(jīng)聽過八百遍他的專輯？
千萬不要提爛大街的Blowing in the Wind世吨，Like a Rolling Stone澡刹，Knocking on Heaven's Door三板斧。太俗耘婚。點(diǎn)首小眾的歌名罢浇，并熟練的背出一兩句歌詞即可。
你覺得這難度太高？唉嚷闭。我送佛送上天攒岛，好人做到底，包教包會(huì)凌受。
我推薦選用Ballad of a Thin Man阵子，這首歌國(guó)內(nèi)相對(duì)小眾，但外媒樂評(píng)人一直對(duì)這首歌大為推崇評(píng)價(jià)甚高胜蛉。而且這首歌與Like a Rolling Stone同出自于滌綸1965年發(fā)行的口碑經(jīng)典磚Highway 61 Revisited挠进，也算有典出。
我覺得這歌歌名就透著一種審美誊册。一說瘦子的歌謠领突，你是不是就已經(jīng)能腦補(bǔ)出又潮又喪的那股子文青味了？
接下來讓我們瞅瞅歌詞案怯。
"Ballad Of A Thin Man"
You walk into the room with your pencil in your hand
You see somebody naked
And you say, "Who is that man ?"
You try so hard But you don't understand
Just what you'll say
When you get home.
Because something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
我知道你已經(jīng)看不下去君旦，在往下滾了
You raise up your head
And you ask, "Is this where it is ?"
And somebody points to you and says
"It's his"
And you says, "What's mine ?"
And somebody else says, "Where what is ?"
And you say, "Oh my God Am I here all alone ?"
But something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
可以繼續(xù)滾！
You hand in your ticket
And you go watch the geek
Who immediately walks up to you
When he hears you speak
And says, "How does it feel To be such a freak ?"
And you say, "Impossible"
As he hands you a bone.
And something is happening here
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
堅(jiān)持嘲碱！加油金砍！
You have many contacts Among the lumberjacks To get you facts
When someone attacks your imagination
But nobody has any respect
Anyway they already expect you To all give a check To tax-deductible charity organizations.
You've been with the professors
And they've all liked your looks With great lawyers you have Discussed lepers and crooks
You've been through all of F. Scott Fitzgerald's books
You're very well read
It's well known.
But something is happening here
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
勝利的曙光！不要急著點(diǎn)叉麦锯！
Well, the sword swallower, he comes up to you
And then he kneels
He crosses himself
And then he clicks his high heels
And without further notice
He asks you how it feels
And he says, "Here is your throat back
Thanks for the loan".
And you know something is happening
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
Now you see this one-eyed midget
Shouting the word "NOW"
And you say, "For what reason ?"
And he says, "How ?"
And you say, "What does this mean ?"
And he screams back, "You're a cow Give me some milk Or else go home".
Because something is happening
But you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
最后的最后一點(diǎn)了Ｋ〕怼！扶欣！不要放棄鹅巍！
Well, you walk into the room Like a camel and then you frown
You put your eyes in your pocket
And your nose on the ground
There ought to be a law Against you comin' around
You should be made To wear earphones.
Does something is happening
And you don't know what it is
Do you, Mister Jones ?
你心想，這歌詞也太他媽長(zhǎng)了吧料祠。
呵呵骆捧，不然你以為諾貝爾文學(xué)獎(jiǎng)憑什么頒給他。
好了髓绽，下面是干貨敛苇。
逼格貼士No.1 ?找準(zhǔn)解構(gòu)重點(diǎn)
對(duì)于裝逼用的知名文學(xué)作品，我們不一定真的有興趣或者有時(shí)間去仔細(xì)琢磨顺呕。畢竟枫攀，我們的計(jì)劃只是“裝作”有研究，而不是真的花時(shí)間去研究嘛塘匣。
所以要學(xué)會(huì)只抓“主要矛盾”脓豪！只看重點(diǎn)段落！
這首歌里我覺得最適合發(fā)揮逼格的是這句忌卤。
"When someone attacks your imagination /?But nobody has any respect /?Anyway they already expect you /?To just give a check /?To tax-deductible charity organizations"
這句歌詞在整首歌里基本處于劇中位置扫夜，不太靠前，不太靠后——這暗示我們真的有很認(rèn)真聽過這首歌，而且是有感而發(fā)笤闯，不是做作擠梗湊熱點(diǎn)堕阔。
歌詞中還有“respect”，“imagination”這樣的經(jīng)典單詞颗味，降低了我們解析瞎掰的難度超陆。你去聽?zhēng)资淄舴宓母瑁椭廊f金油式意群有多好使了浦马，這些詞極大地方便了我們流水線批量生產(chǎn)“解構(gòu)”成果时呀。
逼格貼士No.2 ?聯(lián)系時(shí)代 多用文化主義 學(xué)會(huì)留白
我知道這歌詞看得人挺云里霧里的，除了不斷出現(xiàn)的Mr Jones晶默，就凈是什么naked啊谨娜，geek啊，freak啊這種詞兒磺陡。
就跟咱們這兒的朦朧詩一樣趴梢，現(xiàn)代藝術(shù)的特點(diǎn)就是高度抽象币他，偏不好好說話坞靶。但這也給我們留下了極大的瞎掰空間呀。這藝術(shù)作品啊蝴悉，一旦出版彰阴，也就脫離了作者本身，所以怎么過度演繹都不過分辫封。
按照中學(xué)語文老師教導(dǎo)的應(yīng)試技巧硝枉，我們往先結(jié)合時(shí)代背景扯一扯廉丽。*扯這段時(shí)多提XX文化倦微，XX主義，若能拽英文專有名詞正压，則效果更佳欣福。
60年代，美國(guó)盛行反主流文化(Counterculture)焦履，嬉皮(Hippies)遍地跑拓劝。而傳統(tǒng)體面群眾面對(duì)嬉皮文化是一臉蒙圈的。這歌唱的就是就是傳統(tǒng)民眾Mr Jones在遭遇嬉皮文化時(shí)嘉裤，哪怕非常努力去了解郑临，也還是格格不入，只會(huì)更加摸不著頭腦屑宠。
而具體結(jié)合到“重點(diǎn)”歌詞厢洞，我感覺反映的是酷哥迪倫或者說嬉皮文化，在面對(duì)廣大媒體所代表的主流文化時(shí)的一種不耐與煩悶√煞“問個(gè)屁咧丧叽，根本懶得回答。反正雙方心懷偏見公你，相互劃定sterotype踊淳，不如相看兩相厭，誰也別理誰陕靠∮爻ⅲ”
留白則是指，要多談“個(gè)人感覺”和“時(shí)代環(huán)境”剪芥，多談大空雹舀，少講細(xì)實(shí)。這是自我保護(hù)粗俱，預(yù)防打臉说榆，也是為了營(yíng)造“修為莫測(cè)”的高逼格視感。
在具體表達(dá)方式上寸认，則要注意签财。一般愛說“呵呵你懂得”的人，直接暴露了他自己也不懂的事實(shí)偏塞。逼格愛好者們要引以為戒唱蒸。
逼格貼士No.3 ?客場(chǎng)變主場(chǎng)
裝逼藝術(shù)最重要的就是要善于把陌生領(lǐng)域轉(zhuǎn)化為熟悉的專業(yè)知識(shí)【牡穑客場(chǎng)變主場(chǎng)的重要意義在于迅速轉(zhuǎn)場(chǎng)神汹，避免他人深究，畢竟鮑勃迪倫咱真不熟古今，迅速自然跳轉(zhuǎn)到專業(yè)知識(shí)可以遮掩短板屁魏，順便顯擺下咱們真的是正經(jīng)有為財(cái)稅人。我都可以想象到你們一見歌詞兒里有個(gè)tax deductible就瞬間渾身一抖精神高潮了的那個(gè)樣子捉腥，是不是腦子里的知識(shí)要點(diǎn)滾滾的轉(zhuǎn)氓拼，頓覺自己那幾本CPA總算沒白看？
提供兩個(gè)可行的話題跳轉(zhuǎn)思路抵碟。
前段時(shí)間香港還有人通過虛報(bào)可抵稅慈善捐款少交個(gè)稅桃漾，結(jié)果被稅務(wù)局逮個(gè)正著，最后被法院判刑了拟逮。
9月1日撬统，大陸慈善法正式生效實(shí)施。各大信托公司紛紛搶占慈善信托市場(chǎng)敦迄，同時(shí)強(qiáng)烈呼吁明確慈善信托稅收優(yōu)惠政策恋追。最新動(dòng)向是有人找到了雞賊的變通辦法粒竖，在慈善信托中設(shè)立雙受托人以享受稅收優(yōu)惠
初級(jí)逼格愛好者實(shí)操到這里就足夠。
但如果還想進(jìn)一步小小顯擺一下自己在歐美音樂上的審美氣質(zhì)几于，可以再找補(bǔ)一句蕊苗。“我覺得要是憑歌詞也能拿諾貝爾文學(xué)獎(jiǎng)的話沿彭，過兩年沒準(zhǔn)Cohen也能拿獎(jiǎng)了朽砰。”但請(qǐng)?zhí)崆白龊霉φn喉刘，準(zhǔn)備一兩首Cohen的歌詞解構(gòu)備用瞧柔。
本文作者并不建議讀者實(shí)踐時(shí)采用“憑什么把獎(jiǎng)?lì)C給滌綸，我覺得Cohen比他牛逼多了”這樣的句式睦裳。
周末親朋聚會(huì)造锅，周一上班同事間瞎侃時(shí)歡迎實(shí)踐本篇【一點(diǎn)逼格實(shí)務(wù)指南】。
切記切記廉邑，一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)逼格己足矣哥蔚，裝逼過度恐遭雷劈。
鮑勃迪倫現(xiàn)已實(shí)現(xiàn)奧斯卡蛛蒙、格萊美糙箍、金球獎(jiǎng)、普利策牵祟、諾貝爾大滿貫
點(diǎn)個(gè)喜歡深夯，留個(gè)評(píng)論，小小打個(gè)賞诺苹，都可獲滌綸神力加身
