Confidence?It’s a concept
自信残炮？這是一個概念
Faith and doubt both are needed – not as
antagonists, but working side by side to take us around the unknown curve.Lillian Smith
信仰和疑惑都有用—不是作為對手势就，而是并肩協(xié)作，帶我們走過未知的道路袖牙。Lillian Smith
I get so frustrated when I’m strugglingwith something (personal or professional) and I approach someone for input andthey come back with something like:just be confident.
當我糾結于一些事的時候（個人的舅锄，或者職業(yè)的）我都會趕到很憔悴皇忿，然后我去尋找一些人希望得到一些建議，他們會告訴我說：自信點兒就好了鳍烁。
·Have faith in yourself.要對自己有信心。
·Clout the doubt!要擊敗疑惑老翘！
·Success is can, not can’t.成功是關于你能行，而不是你不行锻离。
The variations are endless.不同的說法無窮無盡
However well meaning the advice (and itusually is) these platitudes don’t move us forward.
無論這些建議的含義多么好（而且一般來說都不錯）這些陳詞濫調并不會讓我們前進铺峭。
On the contrary, they make thing worse.
相反這些陳詞濫調反倒讓事情更糟。
Not only do we have doubts but now wefeel bad that we do because (apparently) we are unlike everyone else in theworld.
現(xiàn)在我們不僅有疑惑汽纠，而且我們對自己有疑惑這件事感到很糟糕卫键，因為‘很明顯’我們和這個世界上的其它人不一樣。
It’s a double whammy.這可是雙重打擊虱朵。
But where are these so-called doubtlesspeople?
但是這些沒有疑惑的人莉炉，他們又在哪兒呢钓账？
Sure, we can have relatively more orless confidence than others and even within ourselves, be more or lessconfident about different areas of our expertise or experience.
沒錯，我們會相對的比別人更有信心梆暮，或者缺乏信心，甚至在我們自己身上也會這樣绍昂，對于不同的經(jīng)驗或者我們不同的技能啦粹，我們會感到更有或者更少信心。
But we are human and all humans havedoubts.
但是我們是人類窘游，所有人類都會有疑惑唠椭。
Some people may project what looks likeimpenetrable self-confidence in the world.Oftenit’s just an image designed to manage the way others respond to them.
有些人在這個世界上會看起來好像有著不可撼動的自信。但通常忍饰，這只是做出的姿態(tài)贪嫂，從而控制別人對他們的看法。
For example, they might be dismissive.The cold shoulder or cursory glance is designedto keep others out and creates a power relationship in which they (the ‘giver’of approval) manage you (the ‘receiver’ of their good will).
舉例來說艾蓝，他們可能會表現(xiàn)得很不屑力崇。冷的肩膀或者匆匆一瞥只是設計來把其他人排在外，來制造一種強關系饶深，在這個強關系中餐曹，他們（是‘給予’認可的人）控制著你（他們‘好意’的接受者）
This is a sophisticated gag order.
這是一個非常老練的禁言令。
Or they might flummox?you withjargon.Here the game is about confusing you intoagreement.
或者他們使用行話來把你弄得很暈敌厘。這里的把戲是迷惑你來達到他們想要的共識台猴。
Irrespective of the tool they used theoutcomes is usually about preventing difference.Why?Because difference suggests that there is no‘one or ‘right’ way.And that means a lack of control.
無論他們用什么方法，目的都是為了避免出現(xiàn)不同俱两。為什么饱狂？因為不同意味著并不存在所謂的一條正確的路。而這宪彩，意味著失控休讳。
In my experience the more intact the maskthe deeper the insecurity.
On the other hand, I think doubt can behealthy.
在我的經(jīng)驗看來，面具越是沒有破綻尿孔，內在越是缺乏安全感俊柔。另一方面，我覺得疑惑其實也可以是健康的活合。
I am not talking about such excessivedoubt that you become paralyzed into inaction.
我并不是說那些過度的疑惑導致你變得不知所措而不采取行動雏婶。
But doubt is what causes us to redo theexperiment, triple check the data, listen harder to what others are trying tocommunicate.It propels us to try harder, do better, to grow.
但是疑惑正是我們重新做一次實驗，再三的檢查數(shù)據(jù)白指，仔細去聆聽別人想表達的內容的原因留晚。
It also cultivates empathy.疑惑還培養(yǎng)了我們的同理心。
Anxious? Unsure?Worried?(Ah we nod, been there done that.)
焦慮告嘲？不確定错维？擔心奖地？（嗯，我們都點了頭赋焕，都有過這樣的感受）
Having lived with the discomfort ofdoubt and the difficult emotions that emerge we understand ina?visceral?way what others are going through.
This allows us to be truly supportive,not by peppering the conversation with banality?but by being the embodyingwhat is possible despite our flaws.
有過活在讓人不舒服的疑惑中以及那產(chǎn)生的艱難的情感中的時光参歹，我們能夠更深入地理解別人在經(jīng)歷著什么。這讓我們變得更加誠懇地去支持別人宏邮。不是在談話中說那些有的沒的泽示，而是成為可能性的化身，即使我們并不完美蜜氨。
So the next time someone tells you to‘be confident’, remember that confidence is just a concept, an idea.
下一次再有人告訴你‘要自信’械筛，請記得自信這是一個概念，一個點子飒炎。
It’s
commitment that counts.承諾才是最重要埋哟。
Not sure if you can do the job? Whetherthe project will succeed?If the bookwill be good enough? The music will not be well received?
Doit anyway.
不確定你是否可以做那份工作？不確定項目是否會成功郎汪？不確定書寫得是否夠好赤赊？擔心音樂是否會被很好地接受？盡管去做吧煞赢。
Whatever happens, you will learn.
And the feedback you get will help youreadjust (or reaffirm) your path.And you mayaccept it, or you may not.
無論發(fā)生什么抛计，你都會有所學到。
所獲得的反饋照筑，也將幫助你調整你的路線吹截。還有也許你會接受他，也許不會凝危。
