30

那個(gè)奶奶當(dāng)然就是阿黛爾肃晚，我打電話給我以前的公公婆婆锚贱，是圭多·艾羅塔接的電話，他冷冰冰地把電話轉(zhuǎn)給了他妻子关串。阿黛爾很客氣拧廊，她跟我說(shuō)，艾爾莎在她那里晋修，又補(bǔ)充說(shuō)吧碾，她不是一個(gè)人去的。

The grandma was, of course, Adele; I

? called my in-laws. Guido answered coldly and put his wife on. Adele was

? cordial, she told me that Elsa was there and added, Not only her.

“那個(gè)男孩和她在一起墓卦？”

“The boy’s there, too?”

“是的倦春。”

“Yes.”

“我可以去你們那里嗎？”

“Would you mind if I came to you?”

“我們等著你來(lái)睁本∧蚵”

“We’re expecting you.”

我讓恩佐把我放在佛羅倫薩火車站。那趟旅行非常復(fù)雜呢堰，火車晚點(diǎn)，又要等待換車枉疼，還有各種各樣讓人心煩的事兒皮假。我想著艾爾莎，她一定是利用自己的狡黠把阿黛爾也卷入其中骂维。黛黛根本就不會(huì)玩手段惹资，但艾爾莎在遇到問(wèn)題時(shí)總是會(huì)想出計(jì)策來(lái)保護(hù)自己，她很少失手席舍。很明顯布轿，按照她的盤算，她要把里諾放到她奶奶面前来颤，她和黛黛都很清楚汰扭，阿黛爾很勉強(qiáng)地才接受我當(dāng)她的兒媳。一路上我的心踏實(shí)很多福铅，因?yàn)槲抑浪诎踩牡胤铰苊彝春匏屛也坏貌幻鎸?duì)的局面。

I had Enzo leave me at the station in

? Florence. The journey was complicated, with delays, waits, annoyances of

? every type. I thought about how Elsa, with her sly capriciousness, had ended

? up involving Adele. If Dede was incapable of deception, Elsa was at her best

? when it came to inventing strategies that could protect her and perhaps let

? her win. She had planned, it was clear, to impose Rino on me in the presence

? of her grandmother, a person who—she and her sister knew well—had been very

? unwilling to accept me as a daughter-in-law. For the entire journey I felt

? relieved because I knew she was safe and hated her for the situation she was

? putting me in.

我來(lái)到熱內(nèi)亞滑黔，準(zhǔn)備面對(duì)一場(chǎng)劇烈的沖突笆包，但我發(fā)現(xiàn)阿黛爾很熱情，圭多·艾羅塔也很客氣略荡。至于艾爾莎——她穿著過(guò)節(jié)的衣服庵佣，濃妝艷抹，手上戴著我母親的手鐲汛兜，非常鮮艷巴粪，還有很多年前她父親送給我的戒指，她對(duì)我很親熱粥谬，也很自在肛根，就好像我生她的氣是不可理喻的事兒。唯一沉默不語(yǔ)漏策，垂著眼睛派哲，覺(jué)得自己做錯(cuò)事的人是里諾，這讓我很心軟掺喻，最后我對(duì)他要比對(duì)我女兒友好一點(diǎn)芭届。也許恩佐說(shuō)得對(duì)储矩，在這件事情里，里諾并不是很重要喉脖，沒(méi)有起到主導(dǎo)作用椰苟，他一點(diǎn)都沒(méi)學(xué)到他母親的那種剛硬和肆無(wú)忌憚的性格抑月，都是艾爾莎把他拖進(jìn)來(lái)的树叽，她只是把里諾當(dāng)成武器來(lái)傷害黛黛。有幾次他看著我時(shí)谦絮，目光像一條忠實(shí)的狗题诵。

I arrived in Genoa ready for a hard

? battle. But I found Adele very welcoming and Guido polite. As for

? Elsa—dressed for a party, heavily made up, on her wrist my mother’s bracelet,

? and on full display the ring that years earlier her father had given me—she

? was affectionate and relaxed, as if she found it inconceivable that I could

? be mad at her. The only silent one, eyes perpetually downcast, was Rino, so

? that I felt sorry for him and ended up more hostile toward my daughter than

? toward him. Maybe Enzo was right, the boy had had scant importance in that

? story. Of his mother’s hardness, her insolence, he had no trace, it was Elsa

? who had dragged him along, beguiling him, and only to hurt Dede. The rare

? times he had the courage to look at me his glances were those of a faithful

? dog.

我很快明白，阿黛爾接待了艾爾莎和里諾层皱，就好像他們是一對(duì)夫婦：他們一起睡覺(jué)性锭，有自己的房間、自己的毛巾叫胖。在奶奶面前草冈，艾爾莎一點(diǎn)兒也不害臊地展示出了他們的親密關(guān)系，也許在我面前是故意這樣的瓮增。吃完晚飯之后怎棱，兩個(gè)孩子手拉著手進(jìn)了房間，我婆婆想要引導(dǎo)我說(shuō)一些里諾的不是绷跑。她后來(lái)說(shuō)：“艾爾莎還是一個(gè)孩子拳恋，我不知道，她在這個(gè)小伙子身上看到了什么吸引人的地方砸捏，我們應(yīng)該幫著她走出來(lái)谬运。”我打起精神回答說(shuō)：“里諾是個(gè)好孩子垦藏，假如不是個(gè)好孩子梆暖，那也沒(méi)辦法，她愛(ài)上里諾了掂骏『洳担”我對(duì)阿黛爾表示了感謝，感謝她接待了兩個(gè)孩子芭挽，還有她的遠(yuǎn)見(jiàn)滑废，然后我就去睡覺(jué)了。

I quickly understood that Adele had

? received Elsa and Rino as a couple: they had their own room, their own

? towels, they slept together. Elsa had no trouble flaunting that intimacy

? authorized by her grandmother, maybe she even accentuated it for me. When the

? two withdrew after dinner, holding hands, my mother-in-law tried to push me

? to confess my aversion for Rino. She’s a child, she said at a certain point,

? I really don’t know what she sees in that young man, she has to be helped to

? get out of it. I tried, I said: He’s a good kid, but even if he weren’t,

? she’s in love and there’s little to be done. I thanked her for welcoming them

? with affection and broad-mindedness, and went to bed.

但我整晚都睡不著袜爪，想著如何面對(duì)這個(gè)局面蠕趁。假如我說(shuō)錯(cuò)一句話，可能會(huì)把我的兩個(gè)女兒都?xì)Я诵凉荨Ｎ覜](méi)辦法讓艾爾莎和里諾馬上切斷關(guān)系豁延，我也沒(méi)辦法強(qiáng)迫兩個(gè)姐妹生活在一個(gè)屋檐下诱咏，根據(jù)目前的情況袋狞，這是不可能的映屋。我想苟鸯，如果這時(shí)候我搬到另一個(gè)城市，那只能使事情更復(fù)雜棚点，艾爾莎會(huì)留下來(lái)和里諾在一起早处。我很快意識(shí)到，假如我把艾爾莎帶回家里瘫析，讓她念到高中畢業(yè)砌梆，那我就要讓黛黛離開(kāi)我，讓她去她父親那里贬循。第二天咸包，按照阿黛爾告訴我的最佳的通話時(shí)間（我發(fā)現(xiàn)她和她兒子經(jīng)常通話），我給彼得羅打了電話甘有。他母親已經(jīng)仔仔細(xì)細(xì)地跟他講了發(fā)生的事情诉儒，阿黛爾對(duì)這件事情的真實(shí)態(tài)度并非她在我面前表現(xiàn)的那樣。彼得羅用沉重的語(yǔ)氣說(shuō)：

But I spent the whole night thinking

? about the situation. If I said the wrong thing, even just a wrong word, I

? would probably ruin both my daughters. I couldn’t make a clean break between

? Elsa and Rino. I couldn’t oblige the two sisters to live together at that

? impossible moment: what had happened was serious and for a while the two

? girls couldn’t be under the same roof. To think of moving to another city

? would only complicate things, Elsa would make it her duty to stay with Rino.

? I quickly realized that if I wanted to take Elsa home and get her to graduate

? from high school I would have to lose Dede—actually send her to live with her

? father. So the next day, instructed by Adele about the best time to call (she

? and her son—I discovered—talked to each other constantly), I talked to

? Pietro. His mother had informed him in detail about what had happened and

? from his bad mood I deduced that Adele’s true feelings were certainly not

? what she showed me. Pietro said gravely:

“我們應(yīng)該搞清楚亏掀，我們到底是哪門子父母忱反，我們讓兩個(gè)女兒失去了什么東西÷算担”

“We have to try to understand what sort

? of parents we’ve been and how we’ve failed our daughters.”

“你是說(shuō)我不是一個(gè)好母親温算？”

“Are you saying that I haven’t been and

? am not a good mother?”

“我說(shuō)的是感情需要連續(xù)性，我和你都沒(méi)辦法給黛黛和艾爾莎提供這種保證巩割〖疲”

“I’m saying that there’s a need for

? continuity of affection and that neither you nor I have been able to insure

? that Dede and Elsa have that.”

我打斷了他嗦嗡，跟他說(shuō)，他現(xiàn)在可以做其中一個(gè)孩子完整的父親：黛黛想去美國(guó)和他一起生活徒恋，馬上出發(fā)都可以亿乳。

I interrupted him, announcing that he

? would have a chance to be a full-time father to at least one of the girls:

? Dede wanted to go and live with him immediately, she would leave as soon as

? possible.

聽(tīng)到這個(gè)消息，他并沒(méi)有太高興抱究，他沉默了一下，態(tài)度有點(diǎn)兒遲疑妈候。他說(shuō)，他還在適應(yīng)階段幔虏，他需要時(shí)間。我回答說(shuō)：“你了解黛黛叭首，你們倆一模一樣芜茵，即使你拒絕她冬阳，她也一樣會(huì)來(lái)的肝陪。”

He didn’t take the news well, he was

? silent, he prevaricated, he said he was still adapting and needed time. I

? answered: You know Dede, you’re identical, even if you tell her no you’ll

? find her there.

那天，一有機(jī)會(huì)和艾爾莎面對(duì)面談時(shí)政供，我立刻痛罵了她一通，根本不管她親熱的態(tài)度执泰。我讓她把錢和首飾都還給我，還有我母親的手鐲。我一字一句地說(shuō)：“你再也不要碰我的東西淘衙√赫欤”

The same day, as soon as I had a chance

? to talk to Elsa alone, I confronted her, ignoring her blandishments. I had

? her give back the money, the jewelry, my mother’s bracelet, which I

? immediately put on, stating: You must never touch my things again.

她的語(yǔ)氣很溫和筝蚕，她在討好我洲胖，可我不吃這一套。我說(shuō)，我會(huì)毫不猶豫地去起訴里諾，然后是她颖御。她正要頂嘴，我把她推到一面墻上，開(kāi)始扇她的耳光禽最，我當(dāng)時(shí)的表情應(yīng)該非常可怕懦趋，她嚇得哭了起來(lái)。

She was conciliatory, I wasn’t, I hissed

? that I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment to report first of all Rino, and then

? her. As soon as she tried to answer I pushed her against a wall, I raised my

? hand to hit her. I must have had a terrible expression, she burst into

? terrified tears.

“我恨你坠狡！”她抽泣著說(shuō)凯亮，“我再也不想見(jiàn)到你，我再也不想回那個(gè)狗屎一樣的地方去生活富拗≌”

“I hate you,” she sobbed. “I don’t ever

? want to see you again, I will never go back to that shitty place where you

? made us live.”

“好吧，假如你爺爺奶奶不把你趕走的話殿雪，我可以讓你整個(gè)夏天都待在這里几缭〔鸹樱”

“All right, I’ll leave you here for the

? summer, if your grandparents don’t kick you out first.”

“然后呢？”

“And then?”

“在九月你要回家崎坊，去上學(xué)男翰，你會(huì)和里諾一起生活在我們的房子里，一直到你厭倦為止租冠！”

“Then in September you’ll come home,

? you’ll go to school, you’ll study, you’ll live with Rino in our apartment

? until you’ve had enough of him.”

她驚異地看著我，有很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間她都覺(jué)得難以置信薯嗤。我說(shuō)出這些話時(shí)顽爹，就好像那是非常可怕的懲罰应民，但她覺(jué)得话原，那是一個(gè)讓人驚異的寬宏大量之舉。

She stared at me, stunned; there was a

? long instant of incredulity. I had uttered those words as if they contained

? the most terrible punishment, she took them as a surprising gesture of

? generosity.

“真的嗎桥爽？”

“Really?”

“是的⊥车梗”

“Yes.”

“我永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)厭倦的。”

“I’ll never have enough of him.”

“我們?cè)僬f(shuō)吧供填⊥北”

“We’ll see.”

“莉娜阿姨會(huì)怎么說(shuō)鸟顺？”

“And Aunt Lina?”

“莉娜阿姨會(huì)同意的曲楚。”

“Aunt Lina will agree.”

“媽媽湿酸，我不想傷害黛黛，我愛(ài)里諾，事情就這么發(fā)生了』旎保”

“I didn’t want to hurt Dede, Mamma, I

? love Rino, it happened.”

“這種事情還會(huì)發(fā)生一千次俄认！”

“It will happen countless more times.”

“這不是真的萎津。”

“It’s not true.”

“算你倒霉晌纫。這就意味著你會(huì)一輩子愛(ài)里諾『燃欤”

“Worse for you. It means you’ll love Rino

? your whole life.”

“你是在和我開(kāi)玩笑嗎嗅辣？”

“You’re making fun of me.”

我說(shuō)我沒(méi)在開(kāi)玩笑，我覺(jué)得一個(gè)小姑娘嘴里說(shuō)出那樣的話挠说，顯得很可笑澡谭。

I said no, I felt only all the absurdity

? of that verb in the mouth of a child.

31

我回到城區(qū)，跟莉拉說(shuō)了我對(duì)兩個(gè)孩子的提議损俭。當(dāng)時(shí)我們的談話冷冰冰的蛙奖，就像一場(chǎng)談判。

I returned to the neighborhood, I told

? Lila what I had proposed to the children. It was a cold exchange, almost a

? negotiation.

“你讓他們住在你家里撩炊？”

“You’ll have them in your house?”

“是的外永。”

“Yes.”

“假如你沒(méi)問(wèn)題拧咳，那我也沒(méi)問(wèn)題伯顶。”

“If it’s all right with you, it’s all

? right with me, too.”

“費(fèi)用我們可以一人承擔(dān)一半骆膝〖礼茫”

“We’ll split the expenses.”

“可以都由我來(lái)承擔(dān)≡那”

“I can pay it all.”

“我現(xiàn)在還是有這些錢的掐暮。”

“For now I have money.”

“我也有政钟÷房耍”

“For now I do, too.”

“那我們說(shuō)好了樟结。”

“We’re agreed, then.”

“黛黛有什么反應(yīng)精算？”

“How did Dede take it?”

“還好瓢宦，她過(guò)幾個(gè)星期出發(fā)去找她父親』矣穑”

“Fine. She’s leaving in a couple of

? weeks, she’s going to visit her father.”

“讓她過(guò)來(lái)跟我打個(gè)招呼驮履。”

“Tell her to come and say goodbye.”

“我覺(jué)得她不會(huì)來(lái)的廉嚼∶蹈洌”

“I don’t think she will.”

“那你告訴她，向彼得羅問(wèn)好怠噪】炙疲”

“Then tell her to say hello to Pietro for

? me.”

“我會(huì)告訴她的〗⒒妫”

“I’ll do that.”

忽然間蹂喻，我感覺(jué)一陣心痛，我說(shuō)：

Suddenly I felt a great sorrow, I said:

“在短短幾天時(shí)間里捂寿，我失去了兩個(gè)女兒口四。”

“In just a few days I’ve lost two

? daughters.”

“不要說(shuō)這樣的話秦陋，你什么都沒(méi)失去蔓彩，你反而還多了一個(gè)兒子〔蹈牛”

“Don’t use that expression: you haven’t

? lost anything, rather you’ve gained a son.”

“這都是你一手造成的赤嚼。”

“It’s you who pushed him in that

? direction.”

她皺著眉頭顺又，好像很迷惑更卒。

She wrinkled her forehead, she seemed

? confused.

“我不知道你在說(shuō)什么≈烧眨”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“你一直在挑唆蹂空，刺激，鼓動(dòng)果录∩险恚”

“You always have to incite, shove, poke.”

“你女兒做的那些事情，你也要算在我頭上嗎弱恒？”

“Now you want to get mad at me, too, for

? what your children get up to?”

我嘟噥了一句我很累辨萍，就走了。

I muttered, I’m tired, and left.

實(shí)際上有好幾天返弹，一連幾個(gè)星期锈玉，我都沒(méi)法擺脫一個(gè)想法爪飘，那就是莉拉無(wú)法忍受我生活中的平衡，她總是試圖打破那種平衡嘲玫。她一直都是這樣悦施，在蒂娜失蹤之后，她變得更加糟糕了：她采取一個(gè)行動(dòng)去团，看看后果，然后再采取另一個(gè)行動(dòng)穷蛹。她的目的是什么呢土陪？也許她自己也不知道。唯一可以肯定的是肴熏，我兩個(gè)女兒的關(guān)系破裂了鬼雀，艾爾莎現(xiàn)在陷入很糟糕的境地，黛黛要離開(kāi)了蛙吏，我不知道我在城區(qū)還要待多久源哩。

For days, for weeks, in fact, I couldn’t

? stop thinking that Lila couldn’t bear the equilibrium in my life and so aimed

? at disrupting it. It had always been so, but after Tina’s disappearance it

? had worsened: she made a move, observed the consequences, made another move.

? The objective? Maybe not even she knew. Of course the relationship of the two

? sisters was ruined, Elsa was in terrible trouble, Dede was leaving, I would

? remain in the neighborhood for an indeterminate amount of time.

32

我為黛黛的出發(fā)做準(zhǔn)備。我時(shí)不時(shí)會(huì)對(duì)她說(shuō)：“你留下吧鸦做！你走了我會(huì)很難過(guò)励烦。”她回答說(shuō)：“你很忙的泼诱，根本就不會(huì)察覺(jué)到我走了坛掠。”我又說(shuō)：“伊瑪很依戀你治筒，艾爾莎也是屉栓，你們把話說(shuō)清楚就好了，一切都會(huì)過(guò)去的耸袜∮讯啵”但黛黛根本不想聽(tīng)到妹妹的名字，我一說(shuō)到艾爾莎堤框，她就做了一個(gè)很厭煩的表情域滥，摔門而去。

I was preoccupied with Dede’s departure.

? Occasionally I said to her: Stay, you’re making me very unhappy. She

? answered: You have so many things to do, you won’t even notice I’m gone. I

? insisted: Imma adores you and so does Elsa, you’ll clear things up, it will

? pass. But Dede didn’t want to hear her sister’s name, as soon as I mentioned

? it she assumed an expression of disgust and went out, slamming the door.

在出發(fā)前的那個(gè)晚上胰锌，她忽然變得面色蒼白骗绕，我們?cè)诔酝盹垼_(kāi)始發(fā)抖资昧。她喃喃地說(shuō)：“我沒(méi)法呼吸酬土。”伊瑪馬上給她倒了一杯水格带。黛黛喝了一口撤缴，她離開(kāi)自己的座位刹枉，過(guò)來(lái)坐在了我的腿上，對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)這是一個(gè)出乎預(yù)料的舉動(dòng)屈呕。她又高又大微宝，個(gè)頭比我還高，已經(jīng)有很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間她不再和我有身體上的接觸了虎眨，假如我們偶然碰到彼此蟋软，她也會(huì)很厭煩地躲開(kāi)。她的重量嗽桩、熱度還有豐滿的腰部讓我很驚異岳守，我攬著她的腰，她抱著我的脖子哭了起來(lái)碌冶，抽泣得很厲害湿痢。伊瑪也離開(kāi)了她的位子，走到我們跟前來(lái)扑庞，也想讓我把她摟在懷里譬重。她以為姐姐不會(huì)走了，在接下來(lái)的幾天里罐氨，她很高興臀规，表現(xiàn)得好像一切都恢復(fù)了正常。黛黛后來(lái)還是決定走了岂昭，在那次感情崩潰之后以现，她表現(xiàn)得更加明確和堅(jiān)定。她對(duì)伊瑪很親切约啊，親了伊瑪無(wú)數(shù)次邑遏，對(duì)她說(shuō)：“你要每星期給我寫(xiě)一封信∏【兀”她任憑我擁抱她親她记盒，但她沒(méi)有回應(yīng)。

A few nights before her departure she

? suddenly grew very pale—we were having dinner—and began to tremble. She

? muttered: I can’t breathe. Imma quickly poured her a glass of water. Dede

? took a sip, then left her place and came to sit on my lap. It was something

? she had never done. She was big, taller than me, she had long since cut off

? even the slightest contact between our bodies; if by chance we touched she

? sprang back as if by a force of repulsion. Her weight surprised me, her

? warmth, her full hips. I held her around the waist, she put her arms around

? my neck, she wept with deep sobs. Imma left her place at the table, came over

? and tried to be included in the embrace. She must have thought that her

? sister wouldn’t leave, and for the next days she was happy, she behaved as if

? everything had been put right. But Dede did leave; rather, after that

? breakdown she seemed tougher and more determined. With Imma she was

? affectionate, she kissed her hundreds of times, she said: I want at least one

? letter a week. She let me hug and kiss her, but without returning it. I

? hovered around her, I struggled to predict her every desire, it was useless.

? When I complained of her coldness she said: It’s impossible to have a real

? relationship with you, the only things that count are work and Aunt Lina;

? there’s nothing that’s not swallowed up inside them, the real punishment, for

? Elsa, is to stay here. Bye, Mamma.

好的轉(zhuǎn)機(jī)是：她開(kāi)始叫妹妹的名字了外傅。

On the positive side there was only the

? fact that she had gone back to calling her sister by name.

33

艾爾莎是一九八八年九月初回家的纪吮，我希望她的活力能讓我擺脫糟糕的心緒：我覺(jué)得，莉拉真的把我拉入了蒂娜失蹤之后給她留下的空洞之中萎胰。但事情并非如此碾盟，里諾出現(xiàn)在我家里，不僅僅沒(méi)有帶來(lái)活力技竟，而是使這個(gè)家更加黯淡了冰肴。他是一個(gè)很溫順的小伙子，完全為艾爾莎和伊瑪服務(wù)，這使兩個(gè)女兒對(duì)他頤指氣使熙尉，就好像他是家里的仆人联逻。就拿我自己來(lái)說(shuō)吧，我已經(jīng)習(xí)慣于交代他去做一些很乏味的事情检痰，比如說(shuō)在郵局排隊(duì)寄東西包归，這樣我就有更多的時(shí)間來(lái)工作。但是铅歼，看著他那笨重遲緩的身體在我眼前晃悠公壤，讓我覺(jué)得很不舒服。他低眉順眼椎椰，你讓他做什么他都會(huì)去做境钟，除了生活上的一些細(xì)節(jié)，比如說(shuō)小便時(shí)要把馬桶座掀起來(lái)俭识，或者不要把臟內(nèi)褲和襪子亂丟。

When, in early September of 1988, Elsa

? returned home, I hoped that her liveliness would drive out the impression

? that Lila really had managed to pull me down into her void. But it wasn’t so.

? Rino’s presence in the house, instead of giving new life to the rooms, made

? them bleak. He was an affectionate youth, completely submissive to Elsa and

? Imma, who treated him like their servant. I myself, I have to say, got into

? the habit of entrusting to him endless boring tasks—mainly the long lines at

? the post office—which left me more time to work. But it depressed me to see

? that big slow body around, available at the slightest nod and yet moping,

? always obedient except when it came to basic rules like remembering to raise

? the toilet seat when he peed, leaving the bathtub clean, not leaving his

? dirty socks and underwear on the floor.

艾爾莎不會(huì)為改善局面動(dòng)一根手指洞渔，相反她很樂(lè)意讓情況更糟糕套媚。我不喜歡她和里諾在伊瑪?shù)拿媲白瞿切┯H昵的動(dòng)作，我不喜歡她扮演一個(gè)無(wú)所顧忌的女人磁椒，但實(shí)際上她只是一個(gè)十五歲的小姑娘堤瘤。尤其是我無(wú)法容忍她房間亂糟糟的樣子，之前她和黛黛住的房間浆熔，現(xiàn)在被她和里諾占據(jù)了本辐。她每天睡眼惺忪地起來(lái)去上學(xué)，匆匆吃完早點(diǎn)就走了医增。過(guò)一會(huì)兒了慎皱，里諾出現(xiàn)了，他會(huì)花上一個(gè)多小時(shí)吃各種各樣的東西叶骨，然后把自己關(guān)在洗手間里茫多，又是半個(gè)小時(shí)，他穿好衣服忽刽，晃蕩一下就出去了天揖。他去學(xué)校接艾爾莎，接她回來(lái)之后跪帝，他們興高采烈地吃午飯今膊，吃完馬上把自己關(guān)在房間里。

Elsa didn’t lift a finger to improve the

? situation, rather she purposely complicated it. I didn’t like her coy ways

? with Rino in front of Imma, I hated her performance as an uninhibited woman

? when in fact she was a girl of fifteen. Above all I couldn’t bear the state

? in which she left the room where once she had slept with Dede and which now

? she occupied with Rino. She got out of bed, sleepily, to go to school, had

? breakfast quickly, slipped away. After a while Rino appeared, ate for an

? hour, shut himself in the bathroom for at least another half hour, got

? dressed, hung around, went out, picked up Elsa at school. When they got back

? they ate cheerfully and immediately shut themselves in the room.

那個(gè)房間就好像一個(gè)犯罪現(xiàn)場(chǎng)伞剑，艾爾莎不愿意別人進(jìn)去收拾斑唬，但他們倆誰(shuí)也不會(huì)想著開(kāi)窗通風(fēng)，整理一下。在皮諾奇婭來(lái)之前赖钞，我都會(huì)開(kāi)窗通風(fēng)腰素，因?yàn)槲覔?dān)心皮諾奇婭會(huì)嗅到性愛(ài)的味道，看到他們留下的痕跡雪营，這讓我很心煩弓千。

That room was like a crime scene, Elsa

? didn’t want me to touch anything. But neither of them bothered to open the

? windows or tidy up a little. I did it before Pinuccia arrived; it annoyed me

? that she would smell the odor of sex, that she would find traces of their

? relations.

皮諾奇婭不喜歡這種事。當(dāng)涉及衣服献起、鞋子洋访、化妝品和發(fā)型時(shí)，她會(huì)很欣賞那些現(xiàn)代的東西谴餐，但在那種情況下姻政，她通過(guò)各種方式告訴我，我做的決定太現(xiàn)代了岂嗓，城區(qū)的大部分人都這么認(rèn)為汁展。有一天早上我正在工作，讓人非常不舒服的是厌殉，她把一只放在報(bào)紙上食绿、扎起來(lái)防止精液流出來(lái)的避孕套展示在我面前。她滿臉嫌棄地對(duì)我說(shuō)：“這是我在床底下發(fā)現(xiàn)的公罕∑鹘簦”我假裝什么事兒也沒(méi)有，一邊在電腦上打字一邊說(shuō)：“你沒(méi)必要給我看楼眷，不是有垃圾桶嗎铲汪？”

Pinuccia didn’t like the situation. When

? it came to dresses, shoes, makeup, hairstyles, she admired what she called my

? modernity, but in this case she let me understand quickly and in every

? possible way that I had made a decision that was too modern, an opinion that

? must have been widespread in the neighborhood. It was very unpleasant, one

? morning, to find her there, as I was trying to work, with a newspaper on

? which lay a condom, knotted so that the semen wouldn’t spill. I found it at

? the foot of the bed, she said disgusted. I pretended it was nothing. There’s

? no need to show it to me, I remarked, continuing to type on the computer,

? there’s the wastebasket for that.

實(shí)際上，我也不知道怎么辦才好罐柳。剛開(kāi)始掌腰，我想一切慢慢會(huì)好轉(zhuǎn)，但事情越來(lái)越復(fù)雜了硝清。每天我都要和艾爾莎發(fā)生沖突辅斟，讓她不要太過(guò)分，黛黛離開(kāi)帶來(lái)的傷痛還沒(méi)愈合芦拿，我不想也失去她士飒。我頻頻去找莉拉，跟她說(shuō)：“你跟里諾說(shuō)說(shuō)吧蔗崎，他是個(gè)乖孩子酵幕，你跟他說(shuō)，讓他整潔一些缓苛》既觯”但她好像就等著這樣的機(jī)會(huì)邓深，跟我吵架。

In reality I didn’t know how to behave.

? At first I thought that over time everything would improve. Every day there

? were clashes with Elsa, but I tried not to overdo it; I still felt wounded by

? Dede’s departure and didn’t want to lose her as well. So I went more and more

? often to Lila to say to her: Tell Rino, he’s a good boy, try to explain that

? he has to be a little neater. But she seemed just to be waiting for my

? complaints to pick a quarrel.

“讓他住下來(lái)吧笔刹〗姹福”有一天早上她很生氣，“讓他住在你家里舌菜，簡(jiǎn)直不是個(gè)好主意萌壳。我們這樣吧：我家里有地方，你女兒想來(lái)找他隨時(shí)可以下來(lái)日月，想要睡在這里袱瓮，只要敲敲門“В”

“Send him back here,” she raged one

? morning, “enough of that nonsense of staying at your house. Rather, let’s do

? this: there’s room, when your daughter wants to see him she comes down,

? knocks, and sleeps here if she wants.”

我很煩尺借，我女兒要和她兒子睡覺(jué)，還得敲門精拟？我忍不住說(shuō)：

I was annoyed. My child had to knock and

? ask if she could sleep with hers? I muttered:

“不用燎斩，現(xiàn)在這樣就好》湟铮”

“No, it’s fine like this.”

“假如這樣就好瘫里，那我們還說(shuō)什么？”

“If it’s fine like this, what are we

? talking about?”

我嘆了一口氣說(shuō)：

I fumed.

“莉拉荡碾，我是讓你說(shuō)說(shuō)里諾，他已經(jīng)二十四歲了局装，讓他表現(xiàn)得像個(gè)大人坛吁。我不想一直和艾爾莎吵架，我害怕自己失去控制铐尚，把她從家里趕出去拨脉。”

“Lila, I’m just asking you to talk to

? Rino: he’s twenty-four years old, tell him to behave like an adult. I don’t

? want to be quarreling with Elsa continuously, I’m in danger of losing my

? temper and driving her out of the house.”

“那問(wèn)題在你女兒身上宣增，不在我兒子身上玫膀。”

“Then the problem is your child, not

? mine.”

在那種情況下爹脾，氣氛很快就變得很緊張帖旨，但我們都沒(méi)發(fā)泄出來(lái)，她熱嘲冷諷灵妨，我很沮喪地回到家里解阅。有一天晚上，我們?cè)诔酝盹埫诨簦瑥臉翘蓍g傳來(lái)一聲不容置否的叫喊货抄，莉拉讓她兒子馬上回去。里諾很擔(dān)憂，艾爾莎主動(dòng)陪他下去了蟹地。莉拉看到艾爾莎积暖，說(shuō)：“這是我們的家事，回你家去吧怪与《嵝蹋”我女兒很沮喪地回來(lái)了，之后琼梆，下面爆發(fā)出一陣瘋狂的爭(zhēng)吵性誉。莉拉在叫喊，恩佐和里諾也在嚷嚷茎杂。我為艾爾莎感到難過(guò)错览，她很不安，她的手在抖煌往。她說(shuō)：“媽媽倾哺，發(fā)生了什么？為什么他們要這樣對(duì)待里諾刽脖，你幫他開(kāi)脫一下吧羞海。”

On those occasions the tension rose

? rapidly but had no outlet; she was sarcastic, I went home frustrated. One

? evening we were having dinner when, from the stairs, her intransigent cry

? reached us, she wanted Rino to come to her immediately. He got agitated, Elsa

? offered to go with him. But as soon as Lila saw her she said: This is our

? business, go home. My daughter returned sullenly and meanwhile downstairs a

? violent quarrel erupted. Lila shouted, Enzo shouted, Rino shouted. I suffered

? for Elsa, who was anxiously wringing her hands, she said: Mamma, do

? something, what’s happening, why do they treat him like that?

我什么都沒(méi)說(shuō)曲管，什么也沒(méi)做却邓。下面的爭(zhēng)吵聲平息了下來(lái)，過(guò)了一會(huì)兒院水，里諾沒(méi)上來(lái)腊徙。艾爾莎讓我下去看看發(fā)生了什么。我下去了檬某，是恩佐而不是莉拉開(kāi)的門撬腾，他很疲憊、無(wú)精打采恢恼，也沒(méi)讓我進(jìn)去民傻。他說(shuō)：

I said nothing, I did nothing. The

? quarrel stopped, some time passed, Rino didn’t return. Elsa then insisted

? that I go see what had happened. I went down and Enzo, not Lila, opened the

? door. He was tired, depressed, he didn’t invite me to come in. He said:

“莉拉對(duì)我說(shuō)，里諾在你那兒表現(xiàn)不好场斑，他應(yīng)該回到這里住漓踢。”

“Lila told me that the boy doesn’t behave

? well, so from now on he’s staying here.”

“讓我跟她談?wù)劼┮彭雾！?/p>

“Let me talk to her.”

我和莉拉談到了深夜，恩佐把自己關(guān)在另一個(gè)房間里锁保，他表情陰郁薯酝。我很快明白半沽，她希望我懇求她。她介入了吴菠，她把她兒子叫回去者填，羞辱了一番。現(xiàn)在她期望我對(duì)她說(shuō)：“你兒子就是我兒子做葵，他在我家里和艾爾莎一起睡占哟，一點(diǎn)兒?jiǎn)栴}也沒(méi)有。我再也不抱怨了酿矢≌ズ酰”我堅(jiān)持了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間，最后我屈服了瘫筐，把里諾帶回了家蜜暑。剛離開(kāi)他們家，我就聽(tīng)見(jiàn)她和恩佐又開(kāi)始吵架策肝。

I discussed it with Lila until late into

? the night; Enzo, gloomy, shut himself in another room. I understood almost

? immediately that she wanted to be thanked. She had intervened, she had taken

? back her son, had humiliated him. Now she wanted me to say to her: Your son

? is like a son of mine, it’s fine with me that he’s at my house, that he

? sleeps with Elsa, I won’t come and complain anymore. I resisted for a long

? time, then I gave in and brought Rino back to my house. As soon as we left

? the apartment I heard her and Enzo start fighting again.

34

里諾對(duì)我很感激肛捍。

Rino was grateful.

“萊農(nóng)阿姨，我欠你太多了之众，你是我認(rèn)識(shí)的人中最好的拙毫，我會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)愛(ài)你」缀蹋”

“I owe you everything, Aunt Lenù, you’re

? the best person I know and I’ll always love you.”

“里諾缀蹄，我一點(diǎn)兒也不好。我只拜托你一件事情膘婶，你要記住袍患，我們家只有一個(gè)洗手間，那個(gè)洗手間竣付，除了艾爾莎，我和伊瑪也要用的滞欠」诺ǎ”

“Rino, I’m not good at all. All you owe

? me is the favor of remembering that we have a single bathroom and, besides

? Elsa, Imma and I also use that bathroom.”

“你說(shuō)得對(duì)，對(duì)不起筛璧，有時(shí)候我會(huì)疏忽逸绎，我再也不了∝舶”

“You’re right, I’m sorry, sometimes I get

? distracted, I won’t do it anymore.”

他不停地道歉棺牧，但他依然不停地疏忽。他用自己的方式表達(dá)他的努力朗儒，他說(shuō)了一千次他要找一份工作颊乘，要分擔(dān)家里的費(fèi)用参淹，他會(huì)非常小心，不會(huì)給我?guī)?lái)不便乏悄，他對(duì)我崇拜得五體投地等等浙值。他一直都沒(méi)找到工作，在日常生活里檩小，他各個(gè)方面還是像以前一樣开呐，甚至表現(xiàn)得更加糟糕。但我再也沒(méi)去找莉拉规求，我一直對(duì)她說(shuō)一切都好筐付。

He constantly apologized, he was

? constantly distracted. He was, in his way, in good faith. He declared

? endlessly that he wanted to find a job, that he wanted to contribute to the

? household expenses, that he would be very careful not to cause me trouble in

? any way, that he had an unbounded respect for me. But he didn’t find a job,

? and life, in all the most dispiriting aspects of dailiness, continued as

? before, and perhaps worse. At any rate, I stopped going to Lila. I told her:

? Everything’s fine.

我覺(jué)得她和恩佐之間的關(guān)系越來(lái)越緊張，我不想成為他們吵架的導(dǎo)火索阻肿。有一段時(shí)間瓦戚，我最擔(dān)心的事情發(fā)生了，就是他們吵架的性質(zhì)變了冕茅。在過(guò)去總是莉拉在嚷嚷伤极，恩佐一直沉默不語(yǔ)，但現(xiàn)在事情已經(jīng)不再是這樣姨伤。莉拉在叫喊哨坪，我經(jīng)常會(huì)聽(tīng)到蒂娜的名字，她的聲音穿透地板乍楚，就像生病時(shí)痛苦的呻吟当编，恩佐忽然間就爆發(fā)了，他用那種充滿暴力的方言發(fā)出怒吼徒溪，像激流一樣滔滔不絕忿偷。這時(shí)候莉拉會(huì)忽然停下來(lái)，恩佐大喊大叫時(shí)臊泌，聽(tīng)不見(jiàn)她的聲音鲤桥，但他一停下來(lái)，我就能聽(tīng)見(jiàn)摔門的聲音渠概。我聽(tīng)著莉拉的腳步聲出現(xiàn)在樓梯間茶凳，她會(huì)下樓，最后她的腳步聲淹沒(méi)在大路上來(lái)來(lái)往往的車流聲中播揪。

It was becoming very clear to me that the

? tension between her and Enzo was increasing, and I didn’t want to be the fuse

? for their rages. What had been upsetting me, for a while, was that the nature

? of their arguments had changed. In the past Lila yelled and Enzo for the most

? part was silent. But now it wasn’t like that. She yelled, I often heard

? Tina’s name, and her voice, filtered through the floor, seemed a kind of sick

? whine. Then suddenly Enzo exploded. He shouted and his shouting extended into

? a tumultuous torrent of exasperated words, all in violent dialect. Lila was

? silent then; while Enzo shouted she couldn’t be heard. But as soon as he was

? silent you could hear the door slam. I strained my ears for the shuffling of

? Lila on the stairs, in the entrance. Then her steps vanished in the sounds of

? the traffic on the stradone.

之前贮喧，恩佐還會(huì)追上去，但現(xiàn)在他已經(jīng)不會(huì)那么做了猪狈。我想箱沦，也許我應(yīng)該下去和他談?wù)劊嬖V他：你也跟我說(shuō)過(guò)雇庙，莉娜依然很痛苦谓形，那你就體諒一下灶伊。但我放棄了，我希望她能盡早回來(lái)套耕，但她一整天都在外面晃悠谁帕，有時(shí)候晚上也不回來(lái)。她在做什么冯袍？我想象她躲在圖書(shū)館里匈挖，就像彼得羅跟我講的康愤，要么她在那不勒斯轉(zhuǎn)悠检激，很仔細(xì)地看著每棟大樓、每座教堂、每處遺跡和紀(jì)念碑。要么她會(huì)把這兩樣?xùn)|西混合起來(lái)：先是在城里逛蕩，然后在書(shū)上找到相關(guān)的資料。我的生活應(yīng)接不暇垒迂，我從來(lái)都沒(méi)時(shí)間也沒(méi)有心情和她提到她生活里的這些新動(dòng)向吏奸，她也從來(lái)都沒(méi)和我說(shuō)過(guò)泊碑。但我知道，假如她對(duì)一件發(fā)生興趣，她的注意力會(huì)很集中，會(huì)很狂熱蔼夜，她會(huì)投入很多的時(shí)間和精力。讓我擔(dān)心的是她在吵完架之后的消失，還有她夜里也會(huì)在外面逛蕩钱磅。這時(shí)候，我腦子里會(huì)想到這個(gè)城市下面那些凝灰?guī)r隧道，還有阿爾克教堂里會(huì)把那些不幸的靈魂引向煉獄的盛放死者頭骨的墓穴，青銅色的骷髏。有時(shí)候我一直無(wú)法入睡，直到聽(tīng)到她的腳步聲從樓下上來(lái)敢订，還有關(guān)門的聲音矾柜。

Enzo used to run after her, but now he

? didn’t. I thought: maybe I should go down, talk to him, tell him: You

? yourself told me how Lina continues to suffer, be understanding. But I gave

? up and hoped that she would return soon. But she stayed away the whole day

? and sometimes even the night. What was she doing? I imagined that she took

? refuge in some library, as Pietro had told me, or that she was wandering

? through Naples, noting every building, every church, every monument, every

? plaque. Or that she was combining the two things: first she explored the

? city, then she dug around in books to find information. Overwhelmed by

? events, I had never had the wish or the time to mention that new mania, nor

? had she ever talked to me about it. But I knew how she could become

? obsessively focused when something interested her, and it didn’t surprise me

? that she could dedicate so much time and energy to it. I thought about it

? with some concern only when her disappearances followed the shouting, and the

? shadow of Tina joined the one vanishing into the city, even at night. Then

? the tunnels of tufa under the city came to mind, the catacombs with rows of

? death’s-heads, the skulls of blackened bronze that led to the unhappy souls

? of the church of Purgatorio ad Arco. And sometimes I stayed awake until I

? heard the street door slam and her footsteps on the stairs.

在那些黑暗的日子里，有一天就谜，我先是聽(tīng)到吵架的聲音怪蔑，她離開(kāi)了。我很擔(dān)心地從窗口向外往丧荐，然后就看到有幾個(gè)警察朝著我們這棟樓走來(lái)缆瓣。警察來(lái)她家里了，我馬上跑到了樓梯口虹统。那些警察是來(lái)找恩佐的弓坞，他們逮捕了他。我試圖介入车荔，想搞清楚是怎么回事兒渡冻，但警察毫不客氣地讓我閉嘴，給他戴上手銬帶走了忧便。走下樓梯時(shí)族吻，恩佐用方言對(duì)著我喊了一句：“莉娜回來(lái)之后，告訴她不要擔(dān)心，我不會(huì)有事的呼奢。”

On one of those dark days the police

? appeared. There had been a quarrel, she had left. I looked out at the window

? in alarm, I saw the police heading toward our building. I was frightened, I

? thought something had happened to Lila. I hurried onto the landing. The

? police were looking for Enzo, they had come to arrest him. I tried to

? intervene, to understand. I was rudely silenced, they took him away in

? handcuffs. As he went down the stairs Enzo shouted to me in dialect: When

? Lina gets back tell her not to worry, it’s a lot of nonsense.

35

有很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間切平，我都很難搞清楚恩佐犯了什么事兒握础。莉拉對(duì)他的態(tài)度變了，不再那么充滿敵意悴品，她打起精神為他四處活動(dòng)禀综，面對(duì)這個(gè)新考驗(yàn)，她一聲不吭苔严，非常堅(jiān)決定枷。當(dāng)她發(fā)現(xiàn)，國(guó)家不承認(rèn)她類似于妻子的身份——因?yàn)樗退固胤仓Z沒(méi)辦離婚手續(xù)届氢，也沒(méi)和恩佐正式結(jié)合欠窒，所以她不能和恩佐見(jiàn)面，她非常氣憤退子。她花了很多錢岖妄，通過(guò)正式以及非正式的途徑，讓恩佐感覺(jué)到她的支持和關(guān)心寂祥。

For a long time it was hard to know what

? he was accused of. Lila stopped being hostile toward him, gathered her

? strength, and concerned herself only with him. In that new ordeal she was

? silent and determined. She became enraged only when she discovered that the

? state—since she had no official bond with Enzo and, furthermore, had never

? been separated from Stefano—wouldn’t grant her a status equivalent to a wife

? or, as a result, the possibility of seeing him. She began to spend a lot of

? money so that, through unofficial channels, he would feel her closeness and

? her support.

這段時(shí)期我又去找了尼諾荐虐，我從瑪麗莎那里得知，要想得到尼諾的幫助簡(jiǎn)直是癡心妄想丸凭，他甚至都不會(huì)為他父親福扬、母親和幾個(gè)弟弟妹妹動(dòng)一根手指頭。但在我的請(qǐng)求下惜犀，他馬上就行動(dòng)起來(lái)了铛碑，也許是想在伊瑪面前有面子，也許他想要在莉拉面前展示他的權(quán)力——盡管是通過(guò)間接的方式向拆。無(wú)論如何亚茬，即使是他，也沒(méi)能搞清楚恩佐的具體情況浓恳，在不同的時(shí)候刹缝，他跟我說(shuō)了幾個(gè)不同的版本，連他自己都覺(jué)得他說(shuō)的不可靠颈将。發(fā)生了什么事梢夯？當(dāng)然是和娜迪亞有關(guān)，在她哭哭啼啼的陳述當(dāng)中晴圾，她提到了恩佐的名字颂砸。她提到了那個(gè)時(shí)期，恩佐、帕斯卡萊曾和法院路上的那些工人和學(xué)生組織來(lái)往密切人乓。她把早年一些抗議性行動(dòng)歸到了他們身上勤篮，就是毀壞居住在曼佐尼街上的北約官員的財(cái)產(chǎn)的行動(dòng)。當(dāng)然色罚，那些審訊者想證實(shí)恩佐也參加了帕斯卡萊的其他眾多的犯罪行動(dòng)碰缔，但他們沒(méi)什么確切的證據(jù)。他們開(kāi)始推測(cè)戳护，恩佐和帕斯卡萊一起采取了一些非政治性的行動(dòng)金抡。也許娜迪亞認(rèn)為，那些血腥事件中有一部分腌且，尤其是謀殺布魯諾·索卡沃梗肝，都是帕斯卡萊執(zhí)行的，但所有這些都是由恩佐策劃的铺董。也許娜迪亞說(shuō)巫击，她從帕斯卡萊那里得知，殺死索拉拉兄弟的人有三個(gè)——他精续、安東尼奧·卡普喬還有恩佐·斯坎諾喘鸟，他們是一起長(zhǎng)大的朋友，情同手足驻右，他們跟索拉拉兄弟有很多個(gè)人恩怨什黑，所以決定報(bào)仇雪恨。

Meanwhile I went back to Nino. I knew

? from Marisa that it was useless to expect help from him, he wouldn’t lift a

? finger even for his own father, his mother, his siblings. But with me he

? again readily made an effort, maybe to make a good impression on Imma, maybe

? because it meant showing Lila, if indirectly, his power. Not even he,

? however, could understand precisely what Enzo’s situation was and at

? different times he gave me different versions that he himself admitted were

? not reliable. What had happened? It was certain that Nadia, in the course of

? her sobbing confessions, had mentioned Enzo’s name. It was certain that she

? had dug up the period when Enzo, with Pasquale, had frequented the

? worker-student collective in Via dei Tribunali. It was certain that she had

? implicated them both in small demonstrations, carried out, many years

? earlier, against the property of NATO officials who lived in Via Manzoni. It

? was certain that the investigators were trying to involve Enzo, too, in many

? of the crimes that they had attributed to Pasquale. But at this point

? certainties ended and suppositions began. Maybe Nadia had claimed that Enzo

? had had recourse to Pasquale for crimes of a nonpolitical nature. Maybe Nadia

? had claimed that some of those bloody acts—in particular the murder of Bruno

? Soccavo—had been carried out by Pasquale and planned by Enzo. Maybe Nadia had

? said she had learned from Pasquale himself that it was three men who killed

? the Solara brothers: him, Antonio Cappuccio, Enzo Scanno, childhood friends

? who, incited by a longtime solidarity and by an equally longstanding

? resentment, had committed that crime.

那些年情況非常復(fù)雜堪夭，整個(gè)世界的秩序都發(fā)生了翻天覆地的變化愕把。那些經(jīng)過(guò)長(zhǎng)期學(xué)習(xí)獲得的技能、堅(jiān)持的正確政治路線森爽，忽然間變得很沒(méi)意義恨豁，沒(méi)必要在上面浪費(fèi)時(shí)間。無(wú)政府主義爬迟、馬克思主義橘蜜、葛蘭西主義、共產(chǎn)主義付呕、列寧主義计福、托洛茨基主義、工運(yùn)中心主義忽然都變成了過(guò)時(shí)的標(biāo)簽徽职。一個(gè)人對(duì)另一個(gè)人的壓榨象颖，利益最大化，這些之前被認(rèn)為是讓人痛恨的事姆钉，現(xiàn)在又成了自由和民主的基本點(diǎn)说订。同時(shí)通過(guò)或合法或非法的途徑抄瓦，國(guó)家開(kāi)始用強(qiáng)硬的辦法清算以前的革命組織留下的問(wèn)題。經(jīng)常會(huì)有人被暗殺陶冷，或者被關(guān)進(jìn)監(jiān)獄钙姊，一些普通人也會(huì)倉(cāng)皇逃跑。像尼諾那樣的人埂伦，他已成了議會(huì)成員摸恍，或者像阿爾曼多·加利亞尼那樣的人，他通過(guò)電視已經(jīng)小有名氣了赤屋，他們?cè)缇鸵庾R(shí)到，形勢(shì)會(huì)發(fā)生變化壁袄，他們馬上就適應(yīng)了新局面类早。至于像娜迪亞的人，警察會(huì)讓他們老實(shí)交代嗜逻，很明顯涩僻，他們會(huì)通過(guò)告發(fā)自己的同伙，來(lái)洗清自己栈顷。我想逆日，像帕斯卡萊和恩佐那樣的人不會(huì)那么做，他們一定還在繼續(xù)思考萄凤、表達(dá)室抽、進(jìn)攻和捍衛(wèi)自己，他們會(huì)提出他們?cè)诹呤甏鷮W(xué)到的那些口號(hào)靡努。實(shí)際上坪圾，帕斯卡萊在監(jiān)獄里依然堅(jiān)持斗爭(zhēng)，對(duì)于那些國(guó)家公仆惑朦，他一個(gè)字都沒(méi)有說(shuō)兽泄，他沒(méi)揭發(fā)別人，也沒(méi)有為自己開(kāi)脫漾月。恩佐當(dāng)時(shí)是開(kāi)口了病梢，他是用那種很簡(jiǎn)潔的方式斟詞酌句，表達(dá)了自己身為Communist的感情梁肿，同時(shí)否認(rèn)別人對(duì)他的指控蜓陌。

They were complicated years. The order of

? the world in which we had grown up was dissolving. The old skills resulting

? from long study and knowledge of the correct political line suddenly seemed

? senseless. Anarchist, Marxist, Gramscian, Communist, Leninist, Trotskyite,

? Maoist, worker were quickly becoming obsolete labels or, worse, a mark of

? brutality. The exploitation of man by man and the logic of maximum profit,

? which before had been considered an abomination, had returned to become the

? linchpins of freedom and democracy everywhere. Meanwhile, by means legal and

? illegal, all the accounts that remained open in the state and in the

? revolutionary organizations were being closed with a heavy hand. One might

? easily end up murdered or in jail, and among the common people a stampede had

? begun. People like Nino, who had a seat in parliament, and like Armando

? Galiani—who was now famous, thanks to television—had intuited for a while

? that the climate was changing and had quickly adapted to the new season. As for

? those like Nadia, evidently they had been well advised and were cleansing

? their consciences by informing. But not people like Pasquale and Enzo. I

? imagine that they continued to think, to express themselves, to attack, to

? defend, resorting to watchwords they had learned in the sixties and

? seventies. In truth, Pasquale carried on his war even in prison, and to the

? servants of the state said not a word, either to implicate or to exonerate

? himself. Enzo, on the other hand, certainly talked. In his usual laborious

? way, weighing every word with care, he displayed his feelings as a Communist

? but at the same time denied all the charges that had been brought against

? him.

同時(shí)，莉拉在監(jiān)獄外面吩蔑，也集中她的聰明才智护奈，還有她的壞脾氣，和那些非常昂貴的律師一起投入了一場(chǎng)戰(zhàn)斗哥纫，想把他撈出來(lái)霉旗。恩佐是一個(gè)幕后策劃者痴奏？一個(gè)戰(zhàn)士？他什么時(shí)候做的這些厌秒？假如很多年里他從早到晚都在“Basic

? Sight”工作读拆，他怎么可能會(huì)和安東尼奧還有帕斯卡萊一起把索拉拉兄弟殺了，假如同一時(shí)間他在阿維利諾鸵闪，而安東尼奧在德國(guó)檐晕？除此之外，假如他們都在城區(qū)蚌讼，但大家對(duì)他們都非常熟悉辟灰，無(wú)論他們戴不戴面罩，一定都會(huì)被認(rèn)出來(lái)的篡石。

Lila, for her part, focused her acute

? intelligence, her bad character, and very expensive lawyers on the battle to

? get him out of trouble. Enzo a strategist? A combatant? And when, if he had

? been working for years, from morning to night, at Basic Sight? How would it

? have been possible to kill the Solaras with Antonio and Pasquale if he was in

? Avellino at the time and Antonio was in Germany? Above all, even admitting

? that it was possible, the three friends were well known in the neighborhood

? and, masked or not, would have been recognized.

但沒(méi)辦法芥喇，法律機(jī)器勇往直前，后來(lái)我開(kāi)始擔(dān)心莉拉也會(huì)被逮捕凰萨。娜迪亞說(shuō)出了一個(gè)又一個(gè)名字继控，警察把那些在法院路上參加活動(dòng)的人一個(gè)個(gè)都抓了起來(lái)：有一個(gè)是在糧農(nóng)組織工作的人，有一個(gè)是銀行職員胖眷，還有阿爾曼多的前妻伊莎貝拉也沒(méi)躲過(guò)這一劫武通，雖然她現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)是國(guó)家電力公司的一個(gè)技術(shù)人員的全職太太。盡管大家都很擔(dān)心珊搀，但娜迪亞只放過(guò)了兩個(gè)人：她哥哥和莉拉冶忱。也許加利亞尼老師的女兒想著，把恩佐牽扯進(jìn)來(lái)對(duì)于莉拉已經(jīng)是一個(gè)很沉重的打擊境析±屎停或者她一直都很痛恨莉拉，但從根本上來(lái)說(shuō)簿晓，也許很尊敬她眶拉，經(jīng)過(guò)再三猶豫之后，她決定放過(guò)莉拉憔儿。要么就是她很害怕莉拉忆植，她害怕直面莉拉。但我更樂(lè)意相信谒臼，因?yàn)樗懒说倌鹊氖虑槌龑?duì)莉拉產(chǎn)生了同情，或者更進(jìn)一步說(shuō)蜈缤，假如一個(gè)母親受到了這種打擊拾氓，那沒(méi)有任何東西可以傷害到她了。

But there was little to do, the wheels of

? justice, as they say, advanced, and at a certain point I was afraid that

? Lila, too, would be arrested. Nadia named names upon names. They arrested

? some of those who had been part of the collective of Via dei Tribunali—one

? worked at the U.N., one at the F.A.O., one was a bank employee—and even

? Armando’s former wife, Isabella, a peaceful housewife married to a technician

? at Enel, got her turn. Nadia spared only two people: her brother and, in

? spite of widespread fears, Lila. Maybe the daughter of Professor Galiani

? thought that by involving Enzo she had already struck her deeply. Or maybe

? she hated her and yet respected her, so that after much hesitation she

? decided to keep her out of it. Or maybe she was afraid of her, and feared a

? direct confrontation. But I prefer the hypothesis that she knew the story of

? Tina and took pity on her, or, better still, she had thought that if a mother

? has an experience like that, there is nothing that can truly hurt her.

但對(duì)于恩佐的那些指控慢慢澄清了底哥，那都是一些沒(méi)根據(jù)的事咙鞍。這次法律失手了房官，開(kāi)始變得疲憊⌒蹋總的來(lái)說(shuō)翰守，經(jīng)過(guò)很多個(gè)月的調(diào)查，只有極少的幾個(gè)問(wèn)題站得住腳：他和帕斯卡萊是老朋友疲酌；在圣約翰·特杜奇奧時(shí)期蜡峰，他是工人學(xué)生運(yùn)動(dòng)的積極分子；還有賽里諾山上的一座小破房子——帕斯卡萊的藏身之所朗恳，是從他阿維利諾一個(gè)親戚那里租的湿颅。經(jīng)過(guò)一輪又一輪的審判，開(kāi)始他被認(rèn)為是一個(gè)非常危險(xiǎn)的恐怖分子首領(lǐng)粥诫，策劃執(zhí)行了一些非常殘酷的犯罪行為油航，后來(lái)成了一個(gè)武裝斗爭(zhēng)的支持者，再后來(lái)就連那種支持也成了一種泛泛的觀點(diǎn)臀脏，從來(lái)都沒(méi)變成犯罪行為，最后恩佐被釋放了冀自。

Meanwhile, eventually, the charges

? against Enzo proved to be without substance, justice lost its grip, got

? tired. After many months, very little remained standing: his old friendship

? with Pasquale, militancy in the worker-student committee in the days of San

? Giovanni a Teduccio, the fact that the run-down farmhouse in the mountains of

? Serino, the one where Pasquale had been hiding, was rented to one of his

? Avellinese relations. Step by judicial step, he who had been considered a

? dangerous leader, the planner and executor of savage crimes, was demoted to

? sympathizer with the armed struggle. When finally even those sympathies

? proved to be generic opinions that had never been transmuted into criminal

? actions, Enzo returned home.

但距恩佐被逮捕已經(jīng)過(guò)去了兩年揉稚，在城區(qū)里大家都開(kāi)始覺(jué)得，他是一個(gè)比帕斯卡萊·佩盧索還更危險(xiǎn)的恐怖分子熬粗。我們從小都認(rèn)識(shí)帕斯卡萊搀玖，他一直都在干活，根據(jù)街頭巷尾的傳說(shuō)驻呐，他唯一的錯(cuò)誤就在于灌诅，他是一個(gè)忠于自己理想的人，盡管柏林的墻倒了含末，但他也不會(huì)脫去Communist員的外衣猜拾，就好像他父親把這層外衣縫在了他身上，他永遠(yuǎn)都不會(huì)退縮佣盒，他把別人的過(guò)錯(cuò)也扛在了自己肩上挎袜。他們說(shuō)，恩佐很聰明肥惭，他通過(guò)“Basic

? Sight”的生意把自己偽裝起來(lái)了盯仪，尤其是他背后的人是莉娜·賽魯羅——他的主心骨，一個(gè)比他更危險(xiǎn)蜜葱、更聰明的人物全景。他們倆應(yīng)該做了很多可怕的事∏６冢總之爸黄，那些閑言碎語(yǔ)讓人們覺(jué)得：他們倆是真正殺人放火的人滞伟，但他們非常狡猾，逃脫了所有懲罰馆纳。

But by then almost two years had passed

? since his arrest, and in the neighborhood a reputation as a terrorist who was

? much more dangerous than Pasquale Peluso had solidified around him.

? Pasquale—said people on the streets and in the shops—we’ve all known him

? since he was a child, he always worked, his only crime was that he was always

? an upright man who, even after the fall of the Berlin Wall, didn’t shed the

? uniform of a Communist his father sewed on him, who took on himself the sins

? of others and will never surrender. Enzo, on the other hand—they said—is very

? intelligent, he is well camouflaged by his silences and by the Basic Sight

? millions, above all he has behind him, directing him, Lina Cerullo, his black

? soul, more intelligent and more dangerous than he is: the two of them, yes,

? they must have done horrible things. Thus, as spiteful rumors accumulated,

? they were both marked out as people who not only had shed blood but had been

? clever enough to get away with it.

在這種氣氛下诗良，因?yàn)槔蚶暗穆唤?jīng)心，還有后來(lái)在律師身上的大筆花費(fèi)鲁驶，他們的公司一直都無(wú)法重新啟動(dòng)鉴裹。他們商量著把公司賣掉，盡管恩佐之前經(jīng)常預(yù)測(cè)钥弯，這個(gè)公司值十億里拉径荔，但后來(lái)他們很艱難地才賣出了一億里拉。一九九二年春天脆霎，他們已經(jīng)不吵架了总处，他們分開(kāi)了——無(wú)論是作為生意伙伴，還是作為同居伴侶睛蛛。恩佐把大部分錢都留給了莉娜鹦马，他去米蘭找工作。有一天下午忆肾，他對(duì)我說(shuō)：“你要多關(guān)心她荸频，她一直跟自己過(guò)不去，到老了會(huì)更難過(guò)客冈⌒翊樱”有一段時(shí)間，他一直給我寫(xiě)信场仲，我也給他回信和悦，他給我打了幾次電話，后來(lái)就沒(méi)消息了渠缕。

In that climate their business, already

? in trouble because of Lila’s indifference and the money she had spent on

? lawyers and other things, couldn’t get going again. By mutual consent they

? sold it, and although Enzo had often imagined that it was worth a billion

? lire, they barely got a couple of hundred million. In the spring of 1992,

? when they had stopped fighting, they separated both as business partners and

? as a couple. Enzo left a good part of the money to Lila and went to look for

? work in Milan. To me he said one afternoon: Stay near her, she’s a woman who

? isn’t comfortable with herself, she’ll have a hard old age. For a while he

? wrote regularly, I did the same. A couple of times he called me. Then that

? was all.