2020年4月13日
I have been thinking about the meaning of life for quite a long time. Since the day I asked myself, the searching for an answer became part of my life. I read, talk to people, like-minded or not, listen to music and talks, watch videos and movies, cook, do sport, go to museums, sleep, think idly or just idle around. A couple times I thought I have an epiphany of my purpose for existing, but that was fleeting and I am lost again and more.
First time I met this book was when I was waiting for my train in Mannheim to my host family, I like browsing a bookstore. An encounter of some book could be a change, and “all change is a miracle which is taking place every instant.” I did not buy it but went to the café next to it and wrote the birthday card for Isa, “It feels so good to have something or / and someone that you are longing for. It feels so good to have love, time, hope and of course the amazing uncertainties in life.” That was the moment I found a meaning of life.
Second time was two days ago and I finished reading it. I admit by reading the prologue I was expecting the book would give me the answer. YES and NO. “Why are you here? Are you afraid of death? Are you fulfilled?” are the key 3 questions running through the story. When we find the answer to the first WHY question, it is like we find the X spot on the treasury map, it drives us forward till we fulfil our dreams. How nice!
However, many of us are just repeating what everyone else does everyday, some even don’t bother to think why we are here, some give up or make peace by accepting there is no meaning for life, some still have hope, someday, one day, we will find it and we will become invincible, unbreakable. And hope is a dangerous thing. Before that, we need to keep trying, testing out as many possibilities as possible, figuring out what really matters to us NOT what other people tell us. Author John said on our way of trials, we will have deja vu, a familiar warmth, or epiphany, we will feel it when we find it. Thereafter, by doing the things we love to do everyday, there is no reason to fear death depriving our chances, there is nothing to lose. And in the end, happiness, confidence, peace, luck and other things we long for are in our hands long ago. Or on the other end, we might never find the WHY, and it will be ok, someday, it is ok.
Lastly, I think the Chinese and German translation of the book name “Café at the end of the world (zh)” and “Café on the brink of the world (de)” is better to be “xxx the beginning / center of xxx”, cause isn’t this the most important question of being? Why are YOU here?
