From: the 7 habits Of highly effective people
Author: Steven R covey
Translator: 一切都還不晚
譯文僅供個(gè)人學(xué)習(xí)，不用于任何形式商業(yè)目的竿报，轉(zhuǎn)載請注明原作者铅乡、文章來源烈菌、翻譯作者阵幸，版權(quán)歸原文作者所有。
There is no real excellence in all this world which can be separated from right living.
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? DAVID STARR JORDAN
這個(gè)世界上挚赊，真正的優(yōu)秀是永遠(yuǎn)都不能與正確的生活分開！
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 大衛(wèi)·思達(dá)爾·喬丹
In more than 25 years of working with people in business, university, and marriage and family settings, I have come in contact with many individuals who have achieved an incredible degree of outward success, but have found themselves struggling with an inner hunger, a deep need for personal congruency and effectiveness and for healthy, growing relationships with other people.
在過去的25年里济瓢，我和很多來自商界荠割、大學(xué)以及建立了婚姻家庭的人共事過，他們很多人都取得很大的外在成就蔑鹦，但同時(shí)也了解到她們的內(nèi)心有時(shí)也很掙扎，掙扎于內(nèi)心的貧乏愿伴。在個(gè)人的和諧與高效部服，如何和周邊的人之間有一個(gè)健康并不斷成長的關(guān)系上有深層次的需求锅很。
I suspect some of the problems they have shared with me may be familiar to you.These are deep problems, painful problems, problems that quick fix approaches can't solve.
我猜測，他們分享給我的一些問題凤跑，可能也同樣在你身上出現(xiàn)過扔仓。這些都是深刻的致扯，令人感到痛苦的問題，而且那些快速的修復(fù)方法對這些問題都不再奏效当辐。
A few years ago, my wife Sandra and I were struggling with this kind of concern. One of our sons was having a very difficult time in school. He was doing poorly academically; he didn't even know how to follow the instructions on the tests, let alone do well on them. Socially he was immature, often embarrassing those closest to him.
多年以前，我的妻子和我就曾陷入這種情況里鲤看。在那一段時(shí)間里缘揪，我們的兒子在學(xué)校里的情況非常糟糕，學(xué)習(xí)成績不好义桂，甚至在考試期間找不到教室找筝，更不用說能好好考試了。社交上他更是不成熟慷吊，經(jīng)常讓我們感到非常尷尬袖裕。
Athletically, he was small, skinny, and uncoordinatedswinging his baseball bat, for example, almost before the ball was even pitched. Others would laugh at him.
在體育運(yùn)動(dòng)上他是渺小瘦弱，而且動(dòng)作很不協(xié)調(diào)溉瓶，在打棒球時(shí)揮空桿急鳄，例如，在球還沒到來之前就揮桿堰酿，以至于別人常常笑話他疾宏。
Sandra and I were consumed with a desire to help him. We felt that if “success” were important in any area of life, it was supremely important in our role as parents. So we worked on our attitudes and behavior toward him and we tried to work on his. We attempted to psych him up using positive mental attitude techniques. “Come on, son! You can do it! We know you can. Put your hands a little higher on the bat and keep your eye on the ball. Don't swing till it gets close to you.” And if he did a little better, we would go to great lengths to reinforce him. “That's good, son, keep it up.”
妻子和我都強(qiáng)烈的一致同意要幫助他。我們認(rèn)為触创，如果說成功在生活中的各個(gè)方面都異常重要的話坎藐，那么在我們扮演的所有角色中，做一個(gè)完美的父母將是最最重要的哼绑。因此岩馍，我們研究了我們對待他態(tài)度和行為，并試圖也去研究他的態(tài)度和行為抖韩。我們試圖通過積極心理學(xué)的方式來激勵(lì)他蛀恩。“來吧帽蝶，兒子赦肋，你能做到，我和媽媽知道你可以的励稳。把你的手放到球桿稍高的位置佃乘，并盯住球，直到球快要接近你時(shí)才揮桿擊球”驹尼，并且只要他做得稍微好一點(diǎn)趣避，我們就會(huì)竭力去加強(qiáng)我們對他的鼓勵(lì)⌒卖幔“兒子程帕，做得很棒住练，就是這樣的，繼續(xù)努力”愁拭。
When others laughed, we reprimanded them. “Leave him alone. Get off his back. He's just learning.” And our son would cry and insist that he'd never be any good and that he didn't like baseball anyway.
當(dāng)別人嘲笑他時(shí)讲逛，我們訓(xùn)斥他們×氩海“并對嘲笑他們的人說盏混，讓他一個(gè)人待著，不要打擾他惜论，他只是在練習(xí)许赃。”有時(shí)我們的兒子會(huì)哭馆类，并且堅(jiān)持認(rèn)為混聊，他將永遠(yuǎn)也不能變好，以至于他不再喜歡打棒球了乾巧。
Nothing we did seemed to help, and we were really worried. We could see the effect this was having on his selfesteem. We tried to be encouraging and helpful and positive, but after repeated failure, we finally drew back and tried to look at the situation on a different level.
然而句喜，我們所做的一切好像都不起作用，我們?yōu)榇烁械教貏e著急卧抗。我們可以看到藤滥，這些做法對他的自尊心產(chǎn)生了影響。我們試著變得更加有鼓動(dòng)力社裆，更加有幫助拙绊，更加積極，但是在不斷的失敗以后泳秀，我們最后不得不倒退回來标沪，并試著從不同的角度上來看待我們所面臨的情況。
At this time in my professional role I was involved in leadership development work with various clients throughout the country. In that capacity I was preparing bimonthly programs on the subject of communication and perception for IBM's Executive Development Program participants.
在那個(gè)時(shí)候嗜傅，在我的專業(yè)領(lǐng)域里我參與到領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力發(fā)展的工作里金句，和來自全國各地的眾多客戶一起工作。在這項(xiàng)工作里吕嘀，我負(fù)責(zé)為IBM的執(zhí)行發(fā)展項(xiàng)目的參與者們準(zhǔn)備關(guān)于溝通與觀念的雙月刊欄违寞。
As I researched and prepared these presentations, I became particularly interested in how perceptions are formed, how they govern the way we see, and how the way we see governs how we behave. This led me to a study of expectancy theory and selffulfilling prophecies or the “Pygmalion effect,” and to a realization of how deeply imbedded our perceptions are. It taught me that we must look at the lens through which we see the world, as well as at the world we see, and that the lens itself shapes how we interpret the world.
當(dāng)我在搜索和準(zhǔn)備這些演示材料文稿時(shí)，我開始對觀念是如何形成的尤其的感興趣偶房，觀念是如何左右我們看待問題的方式呢趁曼，以及我們看待問題的方式又是如何影響我們的行為的呢？這些想法促使我研究期望理論以及自我滿足預(yù)言棕洋，或者稱之為“皮革馬利翁效應(yīng)”挡闰，從而認(rèn)識了觀念是怎樣根植于我們的內(nèi)心的。這些東西告訴我，我們不僅要去關(guān)注我們看待世界的那個(gè)鏡頭摄悯，也要關(guān)注我們所看的這個(gè)世界赞季，這個(gè)鏡頭本身也會(huì)影響我們解釋這個(gè)世界。
As Sandra and I talked about the concepts I was teaching at IBM and about our own situation, we began to realize that what we were doing to help our son was not in harmony with the way we really saw him. When we honestly examined our deepest feelings, we realized that our perception was that he was basically inadequate, somehow “behind.” No matter how much we worked on our attitude and behavior, our efforts were ineffective because, despite our actions and our words, what we really communicated to him was, “You aren't capable. You have to be protected.”
當(dāng)我和妻子由討論我正在IBM教授的課程聯(lián)想到我們自己所面對的境況時(shí)奢驯，我們開始意識到申钩，我們曾經(jīng)為了幫助我們的兒子所做的一切和我們是如何真實(shí)看待他的，兩者是不一致的瘪阁。當(dāng)我們真誠的袒露我們的內(nèi)心深處的感受時(shí)典蜕，我們意識到我們的觀念里，在某種程度上對兒子是信心不足的罗洗，且認(rèn)為他就是有些落后的。無論我們怎么影響我們的態(tài)度和行為钢猛，我們的努力都是不起作用的伙菜。因?yàn)椋m然表面上我們的行動(dòng)以及語言做到了鼓勵(lì)命迈，但實(shí)際上我們是在告訴兒子“你不能勝任贩绕，你真的需要我們的保護(hù)『撸”
We began to realize that if we wanted to change the situation, we first had to change ourselves. And to change ourselves effectively, we first had to change our perceptions.
我們開始意識到淑倾，假如我們想扭轉(zhuǎn)這種情形，我們首先必須改變我們自己征椒，并且要想變得更加有效能娇哆，我們必須先改變我們的觀念。
The End勃救！
