【賞析者】弼馬溫

7. Is there any way to help a child who’s upset other than by letting him know you understand his feelings? My son has very little tolerance for any kind of frustration. Occasionally it does seem to help when I acknowledge his feelings and say something like “That must be so frustrating!” But usually when he’s in such an emotional state he doesn’t even hear me.

【段落大意】

除了讓一個(gè)沮喪的孩子知道我理解他的不開心之外還有什么其他更好的辦法嗎雀鹃？我的兒子對(duì)任何沮喪都無法忍受资昧。個(gè)別情況下當(dāng)我表示我理解他的感受，我說:“這一定很讓人難受”粪躬，似乎會(huì)有一點(diǎn)作用。但大多數(shù)時(shí)候他處在那樣的情緒里完全聽不進(jìn)去我的話磷瘤。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① tolerance

1) [U] willingness to allow people to do, say, or believe what they want without criticizing or punishing themOPP intolerance → toleratetolerance of/towards/fortolerance towards religious minorities

2) [C,U] the degree to which someone can suffer pain, difficulty etc without being harmed or damaged →toleratetolerance toMany old people have a very limited tolerance to cold.

② 直接背下來: Is there any way to help a child who’s upset other than by letting him know you understand his feelings?

XXX other than XXX

Parents in our groups have found that when their children are extremely upset, sometimes a physical activity can help relieve some of the painful feelings. We’ve heard many stories about angry children who have felt calmer after punching pillows, hammering old grocery cartons, pounding and kneading clay, roaring like a lion, throwing darts. But the one activity that seems most comfortable for parents to watch, and most satisfying for children to do, is to draw their feelings. The two examples that follow happened within a week of each other:

【段落大意】

我們的家長(zhǎng)群發(fā)現(xiàn)當(dāng)孩子處于一個(gè)特別生氣/沮喪/難過的情緒里時(shí)春缕，有時(shí)體育運(yùn)動(dòng)能夠有效地緩解他的壞情緒私植。我們聽說了很多類似的例子挎塌，比如打枕頭徘六、錘舊紙箱、捏黏土榴都、像獅子一樣大吼待锈、玩兒飛鏢，都能讓孩子們感到情緒平靜了一些嘴高。但有一種方式能夠更好的撫慰孩子也是家長(zhǎng)最喜聞樂見的就是孩子們用畫畫畫出自己的情緒竿音。下面就是發(fā)生在同一星期的兩件事。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

①? knead /nid/ 揉拴驮，捏面團(tuán)或其他食物谍失；揉捏；按摩莹汤；推拿

② dart /dɑrt/ 飛鏢

I had just come back from a workshop session and found my three-year-old son lying on the floor having a tantrum. My husband was just standing there looking disgusted. He said, “Okay, child specialist, let’s see if you can handle this one.” I felt I had to rise to the occasion. I looked down at Joshua, who was still kicking and screaming, and grabbed a pencil and the pad near the phone. Then I knelt down, handed the pencil and pad to Joshua, and said, “Here, show me how angry you are. Draw me a picture of the way you feel.”

【段落大意】

當(dāng)時(shí)我剛參加完家長(zhǎng)群的一個(gè)工作坊環(huán)節(jié)回到家中，就發(fā)現(xiàn)我3歲的兒子躺在地上大發(fā)脾氣颠印。我老公站在旁邊一臉厭惡纲岭。他對(duì)我說:“好吧抹竹，每個(gè)孩子都不一樣，你看你能搞定他嗎?”我心想這次我一定要成功止潮。我低頭看了看還躺在地上邊踢邊尖叫的Joshua,然后拿起一支鉛筆和電話旁的一個(gè)便簽本蹲在了Joshua身邊遞給了他鉛筆和便簽本窃判，“告訴我你有多生氣，把你的感受畫出來喇闸“懒眨”

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① tantrum

/?t?ntr?m/ noun [C]a sudden short period when someone, especially a child, behaves very angrily and unreasonablyhave/throw a tantrumShe throws a tantrum when she can’t have the toy she wants.children’s temper tantrums

② rise to the occasion/challenge to deal successfully with a difficult situation or problem, especially by working harder or performing better than usuala young athlete who can certainly rise to the occasionThe team rose to the challenge.

Joshua jumped up immediately and began to draw angry circles. Then he showed it to me and said, “This is how angry I am!”

I said, “You really are angry!” and tore another piece of paper from the pad. “Show me more,” I said.

He scribbled furiously on the page, and again I said, “Boy, that angry!” We went through the whole thing one more time. When I handed him a fourth piece of paper, he was definitely calmer. He looked at it a long time. Then he said, “Now I show my happy feelings,” and he drew a circle with two eyes and a smiling mouth. It was unbelievable. In two minutes he had gone from being hysterical to smiling—just because I let him show me how he felt. Afterward my husband said, “Keep going to that group.”

【段落大意】

聽了我的話，Joshua立刻蹦了起來開始在紙上畫圓圈燃乍，憤怒的圓圈唆樊，然后拿給了我:“你看，我有多生氣!”刻蟹，我回答:“你確實(shí)很生氣逗旁。”然后我又撕了一張紙下來遞給他舆瘪，“你再畫一張片效，接著把你的憤怒畫出來∮⒐牛”他生氣地開始涂鴉淀衣。然后我接著跟他說再來畫一張，就這樣直到畫到第四張召调，他已經(jīng)明顯平靜下來了膨桥。他盯著紙看了一會(huì)兒然后說我現(xiàn)在要畫畫我的開心了。然后他畫了一個(gè)笑臉某残。這簡(jiǎn)直令人難以置信国撵。僅僅兩分鐘的時(shí)間，只是因?yàn)槲易屗阉那榫w展示出來玻墅，他就從憤怒轉(zhuǎn)變成開心介牙。在這之后我老公跟我說:我支持你繼續(xù)參加那個(gè)家長(zhǎng)群的活動(dòng)!

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① scribble: 涂鴉

② furious

1) very angryfurious at/aboutResidents in the area are furious at the decision.furious withShe was furious with herself for letting things get out of hand.furious thatHer family are furious that her name has been published by the press.She was absolutely furious.

2) [usually before noun] done with a lot of energy, effort, or speedNeil set off at a furious pace.furious debate/argument etcThere was a furious row over the proposals.The action is fast and furious.

3. hysterical

1) unable to control your behaviour or emotions because you are very upset, afraid, excited etcJanet became hysterical and began screaming.Everyone in the studio burst into hysterical laughter.

2) (informal) extremely funny SYN hilariousIt was absolutely hysterical! I’ve never laughed so much.

At the next session of our group, another mother told us about her experience using the same skill.

When I heard about Joshua last week, my first thought was “How I wish I could use that approach with Todd.” Todd is also three, but he has cerebral palsy. Everything that comes naturally to other kids was monumental for him—standing without falling, keeping his head erect. He’s made remarkable progress, but he’s still so easily frustrated. Anytime he tries to do something and can’t, he screams for hours on end. There is no way in the world I can get through to him. The worst part is that he kicks me and tries to bite me. I guess he thinks that somehow his difficulties are all my fault, and that I should be able to do something about it. He’s angry at me most of the time.

【段落大意】

在家長(zhǎng)群的后來的一次活動(dòng)上，一個(gè)媽媽分享了用同樣辦法撫慰孩子的另一個(gè)例子澳厢。

“當(dāng)我在家長(zhǎng)群的活動(dòng)上聽到了Joshua的例子环础，我當(dāng)時(shí)就在想我要是也能把這個(gè)辦法用在我兒子Todd身上該有多好。Todd也是3歲剩拢，但是他患有大腦性麻痹线得，很多在別的孩子身上看上去再自然不過的事情，比如站立不會(huì)摔倒徐伐、直起脖子之類的贯钩，對(duì)于他來說做到都是里程碑式的事件。他已經(jīng)有了很大的進(jìn)步，但他依然非常容易就感到沮喪角雷。只要當(dāng)他想做什么什么但做不到時(shí)祸穷，他就會(huì)尖叫，尖叫很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間勺三。我們根本沒有任何辦法雷滚。更糟的是他還踢人并想咬人。我猜想他可能覺得他現(xiàn)在碰到的難題都是我的錯(cuò)吗坚，我應(yīng)該對(duì)此做點(diǎn)兒什么祈远。我非常生我的氣∩淘矗”

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① cerebral palsy 大腦性麻痹

② monumental 紀(jì)念碑的

3. get through to

6) reach a person/place to reach a place or person that is difficult to reach: [get through to] Aid agencies have been unable to get through to the thousands of refugees stranded on the border.

4. on end

5. somehow

On the way home from last week’s workshop I thought, “What if I catch Todd before he goes into his full tantrum?” That afternoon he was playing with his new puzzle. It was a very simple one, with just a few big pieces. Anyway, he couldn’t get the last piece to fit, and after a few tries he began to get that look on his face. I thought, “Oh no, here we go again!” I ran over to him and shouted, “Hold it! . . . Hold everything! . . . Don’t move! . . . I’ve gotta get something!” He looked startled. I frantically searched in his bookshelves and found a big purple crayon and a sheet of drawing paper. I sat down on the floor with him and said, “Todd, is this how angry you feel?” And then I drew sharp zigzag lines up and down, up and down.

【段落大意】

上次家長(zhǎng)群的活動(dòng)之后我就在想车份，如果下次我在Todd開始發(fā)怒之前抓住他不知會(huì)怎么樣。那天下午他正在玩兒拼圖炊汹。這個(gè)拼圖很簡(jiǎn)單躬充，只有幾塊大塊兒的。但他還是無法拼對(duì)讨便，當(dāng)他試了幾次都無法把最后一塊拼上時(shí)充甚，他臉上逐漸顯露每次發(fā)怒時(shí)的神情。我想霸褒，壞了伴找，又來了。我跑向他并且大喊“堅(jiān)持一下废菱，堅(jiān)持一下技矮，我有事情要讓你做∈庵幔”他很吃驚衰倦。我慌忙從書架上找到了一個(gè)紫色的蠟筆和一沓紙，然后坐在了地板上坐在他身邊旁理，“Todd, 這就是表示你感到的生氣是不是?”然后我在紙上畫下來一些很尖銳的z型線條樊零。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

①frantically

②

“Yeah,” he said, and yanked the crayon out of my hand and made wild slashing lines. Then he stabbed the paper over and over again until it was full of holes. I held the paper up to the light and said, “You are so mad . . . You are absolutely furious!” He grabbed the paper away from me and, crying all the while, tore it again and again until it was nothing more than a pile of shreds. When he was all finished, he looked up at me and said, “I love you, Mommy.” It was the first time he’d ever said that.

【段落大意】

"是的，"他猛地把蠟筆從我手中抽走孽文，開始瘋狂地在紙上畫各種線條驻襟。然后他開始用蠟筆戳紙，直到紙上布滿了洞芋哭。我把滿是洞的紙拿起來舉到燈光下沉衣，"你真的非常生氣，你簡(jiǎn)直氣炸了"减牺。他從我手里搶過那張紙開始撕扯豌习，直到畫紙變成了碎片存谎。終于他停了下來，抬頭看了我一眼說"我愛你媽媽"斑鸦。這甚至是頭一次他對(duì)我說我愛你愕贡。

【單詞/詞組/句型】

① yank

②stab

I’ve tried it again since and it doesn’t work all the time. I guess I have to find some other physical outlet for him, like a punching bag or something. But I’m beginning to realize that what’s most important is that, while he’s punching or pounding or drawing, I be there—watching him, letting him know that even his angriest feelings are understood and accepted.

【段落大意】

在那之后我又試過一次這個(gè)方法，不過看來它不是每一次都管用巷屿。我猜我可能得找到其他的讓他發(fā)泄的方式，比如拳擊沙袋或者別的什么東西墩虹。但是我也開始意識(shí)到嘱巾，不管他是用摔東西還是畫畫來發(fā)泄情緒，我們站在旁邊看著他的人都要讓他知道他的憤怒是能被理解和接受的诫钓。