與溫哥華的一些華人家長(zhǎng)朋友聊起與學(xué)校老師溝通的事情，發(fā)現(xiàn)不少家長(zhǎng)比較撓頭丹禀，擔(dān)心把握不好原則和分寸持搜。因?yàn)樽约褐肮ぷ髦胁环εc與西人打交道的經(jīng)歷贫导，再加上接觸正面管教（PD理念與現(xiàn)代北美教育的理念非常吻合）峰档，在與學(xué)校老師溝通方面尚卫，我倒沒有什么特別的障礙。在此記錄下一些來溫哥華之后，由于某些特殊原因，與老師溝通的經(jīng)過。
大約一個(gè)月前了吧，有一天周五晚上，大兒發(fā)現(xiàn)自己帶到學(xué)校的Pokemon卡片丟了好多張，而且都是最珍貴的。于是大兒爆發(fā)了缴川，大哭恋日，嘴里說著狠話谈截，要怎么對(duì)付“偷”他Pokemon的人之類的燎潮。我具體怎么安撫他的爪喘，記不清了秃症，總之，最后讓他先睡，第二天再商量這件事。
第二天他還是很激動(dòng),不停地描述他到班上要怎么破案，怎么揪出小偷之類的。（這一點(diǎn)函荣，我其實(shí)很擔(dān)心）。于是我跟他解釋了什么是誹謗，并且對(duì)他說他這種行為是堅(jiān)決不可以接受的害驹。他還是很激動(dòng)腋么，問我該怎么辦摧扇？我建議他如果發(fā)現(xiàn)什么線索可以去和老師描述事實(shí)锡搜，并給他舉例子什么是描述肠缔，什么是論斷。另外我也指出，其實(shí)他把Pokemon帶到學(xué)校丟了义辕，自己也有責(zé)任等等柳譬。
其實(shí)就我來說，相比較孩子對(duì)這件事情如何妥善處理，才能不傷害別人恢暖，以及從這件事情當(dāng)中谷暮，他能學(xué)會(huì)什么（自己有沒有責(zé)任省撑？該如何避免丟東西？）來說浅侨，東西丟了（我也壓根兒沒指望找回來）真不算什么澳化。說實(shí)話，我對(duì)學(xué)校會(huì)怎么處理撞蚕，心里也沒底舶赔。但是我相信我的想法與學(xué)校應(yīng)該是一致的集歇。于是我給老師(老師也玩兒Pokemon)寫了一封郵件說明一下情況鹅心，表示了一下我的態(tài)度。（學(xué)習(xí)PD靶剑，尤其最近一年翻譯PD文章和書的結(jié)果是血崭，在與學(xué)校老師溝通的時(shí)候，我基本上能思路清晰茅姜、流暢地表達(dá)出我的想法锄开，當(dāng)然這些想法已然是受PD影響之后的想法了萍悴。）
以下是來回郵件的原文（不是英文范文狡刘，錯(cuò)誤在所難免澜术。請(qǐng)關(guān)注內(nèi)容）：
Hi Miss XX,
XX took his pokemon book to school yesterday, while last nighthe found 12 cards from the first page of his pokemon book were lost , which are his favorite ones. Around 10 of them were bought from China, therefore they are easily distinguished with the cards available here. XX was upset and angry about the lost.We had a talk this morning. We've agreed that he can not act as a detective trying to get back his pokemon cards, which is not good to him andthe other kids.XX老師您好，XX昨天將POKEMON帶到學(xué)校计露，昨晚他發(fā)現(xiàn)他最喜歡的12張卡片丟了沈善。其中10張是從中國(guó)買的（因此很容易與這里能買到的區(qū)分開來）乡数。XX對(duì)此很難過也很生氣。我們今天早上談了一下闻牡，我們都同意他明天上學(xué)之后不可以充當(dāng)偵探去要回他的卡片净赴，那樣對(duì)他自己和其他孩子都不好。
Frankly speaking, I am not quitesure what is the most appropriate way to handle this case here, just to let you be aware of what happened, and I trust you to deal with it in case the kids bring this to you. From my perspective, the important thing here isnot the lost cards, but to teachkids how to handle the similar situation, and how to take his own responsibility (e.g - think about any precautionary way to avoid loosing cards etc.).說實(shí)話罩润，我也不清楚該如何妥善處理此事玖翅。寫這封信主要是想讓您知曉發(fā)生了什么，這樣萬一孩子因?yàn)檫@事找到您的話割以，您心里有數(shù)金度。從我的角度來說，重要的不是丟失的卡片严沥，而是教會(huì)孩子如何處理類似的情形猜极，以及如何學(xué)會(huì)承擔(dān)自己該承擔(dān)的責(zé)任。（例如消玄，想想該如何避免此類事情再度發(fā)生等）跟伏。
Have a nice weekend,周末愉快
XX
老師的回信：
Hi XX,
Thank you for letting me know. XX is very upset about the cards - understandably so! We had a big class conversation today about taking things that do not belong to you. I have let all of the students in the class know that they have an opportunity to return the cards without there being any consequences this time.Fingers crossed they will show up! I've got my eyes peeled!謝謝你讓我知道這件事，XX對(duì)這件事非常難過---我非常理解翩瓜！我們今天開了全班的班會(huì)受扳，討論了拿走別人東西的事情。我已經(jīng)和全班的孩子說了兔跌，如果有人能將卡片歸還勘高，這次將不會(huì)有任何后果。但愿卡片能夠找回來坟桅，我也會(huì)多加留意华望。
Have a good afternoon,
XX
以及我的回信：
Hi Miss XX,
Thank you so much for your such prompt response and of course, the action taken inclass! Yes as I indicated before, the most important thing here is to teach kids how to confront similar situation but not any sort of "punishment". Thank you again for smartly handing this as a good opportunity of teaching kids!XX老師您好，非常感謝年如此快的回應(yīng)桦卒，當(dāng)然立美，還有在班上的迅速行動(dòng)。是的方灾，正如我前面所說建蹄，重要的是教會(huì)孩子們?nèi)绾翁幚泶祟惽樾味皇侨魏涡问降摹皯土P”碌更。再次感謝您巧妙地處理了這件事，并且把這件事當(dāng)成一個(gè)教孩子的好機(jī)會(huì)洞慎。
Have a nice day,
XX
后來大約過了2個(gè)禮拜痛单，班上有個(gè)孩子說找到了這些卡片并還給了我家大兒。這事算圓滿解決劲腿。在（結(jié)果出乎我意料的好）
