提問：每當(dāng)別人做的不夠好時，我就會不由自主的用語言或者冷漠不搭理的方式指責(zé)對方细溅。這樣做的結(jié)果是雙方都不開心。我意識到這樣不對星岗，還是會不由自主的這么做牍白。即使克制住不說出來，身體和面部也會表現(xiàn)出來锻梳。處在情況當(dāng)中箭券，我很矛盾，事后疑枯，又覺得這么做不對辩块。是我自己無法平靜的面對自己和他人，怎么做荆永？
提問：The question is when other people don’t perform well I can’t help blaming them by words and cold manners, which makes both sides unhappy. I realize it’s inappropriate to do this but I can’t control myself. Sometimes I can keep my mouth shut, but my body gesture will sold me out. I feel contradicted in this situation I know I can’t confront myself and other people calmly, what should I do to improve.
回答：首先你需要明白你對自己很嚴厲废亭，當(dāng)你自己表現(xiàn)不好的時候你會責(zé)怪自己。你想想看是這樣的嗎具钥？當(dāng)然我們會以對待自己的方式來對待別人滔以。如果你對自己的要求很高很嚴格，那么我們對別人的要求自然也會很高氓拼。如果你能明白這點你画，答案就很簡單了。你需要學(xué)會接受不完美的自己桃漾。我們會犯錯坏匪，有時候表現(xiàn)不好，但這些都是可以接受的撬统。
我們盡力做到最好适滓，這就夠了。如果我們能夠接受自己的不完美恋追，那么我們就能夠接受其他人的凭迹。然而要學(xué)會這些比較不容易罚屋，所以為此我們開設(shè)了維持6天的研習(xí)班。我們可以學(xué)習(xí)如果尊重嗅绸、接受和愛自己脾猛， 這些都是從兒童時代習(xí)得的。當(dāng)你還是個孩子的時候鱼鸠，如果沒有得到你想要的尊重和肯定猛拴，你會通過讓自己變得更完美來獲得，自然你對自己的要求就會很高蚀狰。
當(dāng)你長大了你還是通過這種方法來獲得別人的肯定愉昆，并且以相同的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來要求別人。因為你覺得自己這樣做麻蹋，那么理所當(dāng)然別人也應(yīng)該這樣跛溉。所以問題的答案在于你需要學(xué)會如何尊重和愛一個并不完美的自己。
回答：Well the first thing is to understand that you treat yourself like this, you only blame yourself, you’re hard on yourself when you don’t perform well. Just take a moment to see if that’s true. And of course the way we treat ourselves is how we treat other people. If we have very high standards and high judgments on ourselves, we will do the same with all the people around us, and if we can see that, then the answer is clear, the answer is to learn how to accept ourselves to learn yes we’re not always perfect, we make mistakes, we don’t always perform well and that’s okay.
We do our best, and that’s good enough. Now if we can really learn to accept that about ourselves of course we will have accepted in other people. But it’s very difficult to learn to do this to ourselves that’s why we have a whole 6 days workshop just for this. The Emoil? workshop where we learn how to respect, accept and love ourselves as we are. And it’s important to understand that this is something comes from childhood, and obviously when you’re a child, you didn’t get the respect, the approval that you needed and so you were desperately to get that by being perfect, by being the best, and you put very high standards on yourself.
Then of course you’ve forgotten that you’re still doing that now even though you’re grown up and consciously you’re still trying to get approval from other people by being perfect and then you will treat everyone else ?surround you, If you have to do that, then you feel they should also be doing that. So the answer lies in just bringing back yourself. How can you learn to love and respect yourself even when you’re not perfect?
