33
我在廚房默默哭了一個晚上卢肃，在凌晨時睡著了疲迂。內拉叫醒了我，她責備我莫湘，說尼諾是在天臺上吃的早餐尤蒿，因為他不想打擾我，他已經(jīng)走了幅垮。
I cried all night, in the silent kitchen.
? I fell asleep at dawn. Nella came to wake me and reproached me, she said that
? Nino had wanted to have breakfast on the terrace in order not to disturb me.
? He had left.
我急忙穿好衣服腰池，她發(fā)現(xiàn)我很難過，就心軟了忙芒，說：“你去吧示弓，也許還能趕上『侨”我跑到港口奏属，希望在船出發(fā)之前趕到，但我到的時候潮峦，船已經(jīng)開走了囱皿。
I dressed in a hurry, and she saw that I
? was suffering. “Go on,” she yielded, finally, “maybe you’ll be in time.” I
? ran to the Port hoping to get there before the ferry left, but the boat was
? already out at sea.
有幾天我都過得很糟糕。在收拾房間時我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一張?zhí)焖{色的卡片忱嘹，那是尼諾的書簽嘱腥，我把書簽藏了起來。晚上在廚房里拘悦，我躺在床上齿兔，嗅著書簽發(fā)出的氣息，吻著它础米，用舌尖輕輕舔著它愧驱，默默地哭泣。那種絕望的愛情椭盏，讓我自己都很感動组砚，我被自己感動哭了。
Some difficult days passed. Cleaning the
? rooms I found a blue paper bookmark that belonged to Nino and I hid it among
? my things. At night, in my bed in the kitchen, I sniffed it, kissed it,
? licked it with the tip of my tongue and cried. My own desperate passion moved
? me and my weeping fed on itself.
最后掏颊，多納托·薩拉托雷來了糟红，開始了他十五天的假期。他兒子已經(jīng)離開了乌叶，這讓他覺得有些懊惱盆偿，但他同時很高興尼諾和他同學見面、一起學習准浴∈屡ぃ“他是一個認真的孩子，”多納托對我說乐横，“像你一樣求橄。我為他感到自豪今野，我覺得你父親也會為你感到自豪」夼”
Then Donato Sarratore arrived for his
? two-week holiday. He was sorry that his son had left, but pleased that he had
? joined his schoolmates in the Avellinese to study. “He’s a truly serious
? boy,” he said to me, “l(fā)ike you. I’m proud of him, as I imagine your father
? must be proud of you.”
那個讓人有安全感的男人出現(xiàn)之后条霜，我覺得平靜一些了。他想認識瑪麗莎的新朋友涵亏，有一天晚上宰睡，他邀請這些朋友在沙灘上搞了一場篝火晚會。他親自把撿來的木柴堆放在一起气筋，跟那些年輕人一直玩到很晚拆内。那個和瑪麗莎關系曖昧的男孩在彈吉他，多納托唱歌宠默，他的聲音美極了麸恍。夜已經(jīng)深了，多納托自己彈起了吉他光稼，他彈得不錯或南，又彈了幾支舞曲孩等，有人開始跳舞艾君，瑪麗莎最先跳了起來。
The presence of that reassuring man
? calmed me. He wanted to meet Marisa’s new friends, he invited them one
? evening to have a big bonfire on the beach. He himself gathered all the wood
? he could find and piled it up, and he stayed with us until late. The boy with
? whom Marisa was carrying on a half-steady relationship strummed a guitar and
? Donato sang, he had a beautiful voice. Then, late at night, he himself began
? to play and he played well, he improvised dance tunes. Some began to dance,
? Marisa first.
我看著那個男人肄方，心想：他和他兒子在長相上也沒有任何共同之處冰垄。尼諾很高，面孔很秀氣权她，頭發(fā)烏黑虹茶，蓋住了額頭，他的嘴唇總是緊緊閉著隅要，嘴唇很誘人蝴罪；而多納托中等身材，臉上的線條很粗礪步清，鬢角禿得很厲害要门，嘴巴很小，嘴唇非常薄廓啊。尼諾總是板著面孔欢搜，好像充滿驚恐地看著眼前人和事；多納托的目光總是很熱情谴轮，他喜歡出現(xiàn)在他眼前的每樣東西炒瘟、每個人，他一直滿臉堆笑第步。尼諾的內心有某種東西在折磨疮装、吞噬著他缘琅，就像莉拉一樣，這是一種天賦斩个，也是一種讓人痛苦的事：他們都不高興胯杭，都不放松，總在擔心發(fā)生在周圍的事情受啥。但多納托卻全然不同做个，他好像熱愛生命的任何表現(xiàn)粉楚，他生活的每一秒都是絕對晴朗的序愚。
I looked at that man and thought: he and
? his son have not even a feature in common. Nino is tall, he has a delicate
? face, the forehead buried under black hair, the mouth always half-closed,
? with inviting lips; Donato instead is of average height, his features are
? pronounced, he has a receding hairline, his mouth is compact, almost without
? lips. Nino has brooding eyes that see beyond things and persons and seem to
? be frightened; Donato has a gaze that is always receptive, that adores the
? appearance of every thing or person and is always smiling on them. Nino has
? something that’s eating him inside, like Lila, and it’s a gift and a
? suffering; they aren’t content, they never give in, they fear what is
? happening around them; this man, no, he appears to love every manifestation
? of life, as if every lived second had an absolute clarity.
從那晚開始慨默，尼諾的父親成了一個非常堅實的替代品偶房，不僅僅可以驅趕尼諾在我內心留下的黑暗——那是在一個幾乎感覺不到的吻別之后妓忍，他留給我的骗卜；還有莉拉從不回信給我造成的內心空洞史侣。我想枢贿，莉拉和尼諾不是很熟嘁圈，他們從來都沒有交往過省骂，但我覺得他們很像。意識到這一點時最住，我也覺得很驚異钞澳。他們不需要任何事情、任何人涨缚，他們總是知道怎么行轧粟、怎么不行。但假如他們錯了呢脓魏？馬爾切洛·索拉拉到底有什么讓人害怕的地方呢兰吟？多納托·薩拉托雷有什么特別讓人討厭的地方呢？我不明白茂翔。我愛著莉拉和尼諾混蔼，用不同的方式想念他們。我感激那個被尼諾仇恨的父親珊燎，他對我和其他孩子都很關注惭嚣，在瑪隆蒂海灘的夜里，他能給我們帶來平靜和快樂俐末。忽然間料按，我很高興我愛的那兩個人都不在島上。
From that evening on, Nino’s father
? seemed to me a solid remedy not only against the darkness into which his son
? had driven me, departing after an almost imperceptible kiss, but also—I
? realized with amazement—against the darkness into which Lila had driven me by
? never responding to my letters. She and Nino scarcely know each other, I
? thought, they have never been friends, and yet now they seem to me very
? similar: they have no need of anything or anyone, and they always know what’s
? right and what isn’t. But if they’re wrong? What is especially terrible about
? Marcello Solara, what is especially terrible about Donato Sarratore? I didn’t
? understand. I loved both Lila and Nino, and now in a different way I missed
? them, but I was grateful to that hated father, who made me, and all us
? children, important, who gave us joy and peace that night at the Maronti.
? Suddenly I was glad that neither of the two was present on the island.
我繼續(xù)開始看書卓箫，給莉拉寫了最后一封信载矿，在信中我對她說，因為沒收到她的回信，我不會再給她寫信了闷盔。我和薩拉托雷家人的關系變得更加密切弯洗，我感覺自己像瑪麗莎的姐妹，像皮諾和小西羅的姐姐逢勾，現(xiàn)在西羅很喜歡我牡整，只有和我一起玩的時候，他才不淘氣溺拱。他很安靜逃贝，我們一起找貝殼。莉迪亞一改之前對我的敵意迫摔，變得對我很友好沐扳，她很喜歡我，還經(jīng)常表揚我句占，說我做任何事情都很認真：布置桌子沪摄，收拾房間，洗盤子纱烘，照顧孩子杨拐，讀書和學習。有天早上擂啥，她讓我試穿她的日光浴衣哄陶，那件浴衣她穿著太緊了。我穿上后啤它，她馬上叫內拉和薩拉托雷來看奕筐，他們都很激動舱痘，都說我穿上非常合身变骡，最后莉迪亞把那件日光浴衣送給我了。有時候芭逝，我甚至覺得她喜歡我超過瑪麗莎塌碌。她說：“瑪麗莎很懶，愛慕虛榮旬盯，我沒教育好台妆，她不愛學習。你很懂事胖翰，你真的很像尼諾接剩。”有一次她補充說：“只是你很開朗萨咳，無憂無慮懊缺，他總是很憂愁∨嗨”聽到妻子的這句批評鹃两，多納托馬上就開始贊美他的長子遗座。“他是個好孩子俊扳，沒得說途蒋。”他一邊說馋记，一邊用目光尋求我的認可号坡，我非常肯定地點了點頭梯醒。
I began reading again, I wrote a last
? letter to Lila, in which I said that, since she hadn’t ever answered me, I
? wouldn’t write anymore. I bound myself instead to the Sarratore family, I
? felt I was the sister of Marisa, Pinuccio, and little Ciro, who now loved me
? tremendously and with me, only with me, wasn’t naughty but played happily; we
? went looking for shells together. Lidia, whose hostility had conclusively
? turned into sympathy and fondness, often praised me for the precision that I
? put into everything: setting the table, cleaning the rooms, washing the
? dishes, entertaining the baby, reading and studying. One morning she made me
? try on a sundress that was too tight for her, and, since Nella and even
? Sarratore, called urgently to give an opinion, thought it very becoming, she
? gave it to me. At certain moments she even seemed to prefer me to Marisa. She
? said, “She’s lazy and vain, I brought her up badly, she doesn’t study;
? whereas you are so sensible about everything.” “Just like Nino,” she added once,
? “except that you’re sunny and he is always irritable.” But Donato, hearing
? those criticisms, responded sharply, and began to praise his oldest son.
? “He’s as good as gold,” he said, and with a look asked me for confirmation
? and I nodded yes with great conviction.
游了很久的泳之后筋帖，多納托會躺在我旁邊，在太陽底下晾干自己冤馏。他會讀報紙——《羅馬報》是他唯一的讀物日麸。一個寫詩的人、一個出版過一本詩集的人從來都不看書逮光，這讓我很驚異代箭。他自己沒帶書，也從來沒對我讀的那些書產(chǎn)生過興趣涕刚。有時候嗡综，他會大聲念出一些文章段落，那些句子和詞匯可能會使帕斯卡萊非常憤怒杜漠，當然极景，加利亞尼老師聽了也一定會很生氣，但我一句話也不說驾茴，我覺得自己不該和一個這么文雅的人爭論盼樟，如果發(fā)生爭論的話，可能會打破我在他心目中的美好形象锈至。有一次晨缴，他給我讀了一整篇文章，每讀兩句峡捡，他都會微笑著看看莉迪亞击碗，莉迪亞也微笑著看著他。最后他問我：
After his long swims Donato lay beside me? to dry in the sun and read his newspaper, Roma, the only thing he read. I was? struck by the fact that someone who wrote poems, who had even collected them? in a volume, never opened a book. He hadn’t brought any with him and was? never curious about mine. At times he read aloud to me some passage from an? article, words and sentiments that would have made Pasquale extremely angry? and certainly Professor Galiani, too. But I was silent, I didn’t feel like? arguing with such a kind and courteous person, and spoiling the great esteem? he had for me. Once he read me an entire article, from beginning to end, and? every two lines he turned to Lidia smiling, and Lidia responded with a? complicit smile. At the end he asked me,?
“你喜歡嗎们拙？”
“Did you like it?”
那是一篇關于火車的文章稍途，贊美火車的便捷快速，不像之前的旅行——在鄉(xiāng)間車道上乘坐雙輪馬車或者步行砚婆。文中有很多激昂的句子械拍，他用一種感人的語氣讀了一遍。
It was an article on the speed of train
? travel as opposed to the speed of travel in the past, by horse carriage or on
? foot, along country lanes. It was written in high-flown sentences that he
? read with great feeling.
“是的，很喜歡殊者∮刖常”我回答道。
“Yes, very much,” I said.
“你看這是誰寫的猖吴。你看到這里了嗎摔刁？”
“See who wrote it: what do you read
? here?”
他把那張報紙伸了過來，放在我眼皮底下海蔽。我非常激動地讀道：
He held it out toward me, put the paper? under my eyes. With emotion, I read:?
“多納托·薩拉托雷共屈。”
“Donato Sarratore.”
莉迪亞笑了起來党窜，他也笑了起來拗引。他們讓我待在沙灘上照看西羅，他們下水游泳去了幌衣，還是往常的方式矾削，兩個人緊緊貼著，在竊竊私語豁护。我看著他們哼凯，心里想：可憐的梅麗娜。但我并沒覺得薩拉托雷有什么不對楚里。
Lidia burst out laughing and so did he.? They left me on the beach to keep an eye on Ciro while they swam in their? usual way, staying close to each other and whispering. I looked at them, I? thought, Poor Melina, but without bitterness toward Sarratore.?
即使尼諾說的對断部，他們倆真發(fā)生過什么，即使薩拉托雷真的背叛了莉迪亞班缎，比之前還變本加厲蝴光，在和薩拉托雷相處后——我對他有了一定的了解——我覺得自己沒辦法怪罪于他。我覺得他妻子也沒有怪罪他达址，盡管當時是她強迫丈夫離開那個城區(qū)的蔑祟。至于梅麗娜呢，我也理解她苏携，她感覺到愛的幸福做瞪，因為這個男人比一般男人要好很多——一個火車上的檢票員对粪，同時也是一個詩人和記者右冻。她脆弱的神經(jīng)無法再適應沒有他的生活，那種荒蕪平庸的生活著拭。這些想法讓我很高興纱扭，那幾天所有事情都讓我覺得滿意：我對尼諾的愛情、我的憂傷儡遮、圍繞著我的溫情乳蛾，還有我獨自讀書、思考和反思的能力。
Assuming that Nino was right and that
? there really had been something between the two of them; assuming, in other
? words, that Sarratore really had betrayed Lidia, now, even more than
? before—now that I knew him somewhat—I couldn’t feel that he was guilty,
? especially since it seemed to me that not even his wife felt he was guilty,
? although at the time she had compelled him to leave the neighborhood. As for
? Melina, I understood her, too. She had felt the joy of love for that so far
? from ordinary man—a conductor on the railroad but also a poet, a
? journalist—and her fragile mind had been unable to readjust to the rough
? normality of life without him. I was satisfied with these thoughts. I was
? pleased with everything, in those days, with my love for Nino, with my
? sadness, with the affection that I felt surrounded by, with my own capacity
? to read, think, reflect in solitude.
34
八月末肃叶，那些神奇的日子快結束時蹂随，忽然有兩件重要的事在同一天相繼發(fā)生。那是八月二十五日因惭，我記得非常清楚岳锁，因為那天是我的生日。我起床給所有人準備早餐蹦魔，在餐桌上激率，我說：“今天我年滿十五歲了∥鹁觯”說這些話時乒躺，我想到了莉拉在八月十一日已經(jīng)過了生日，那幾天我太激動了低缩，以至于都沒想起來嘉冒。按照習俗，我們一般都會慶祝命名日咆繁，那時候生日不是非常重要健爬，但薩拉托雷一家人和內拉堅持要在晚上搞一場聚會，慶祝一下么介。我非常高興娜遵，他們回房間準備去海邊的東西，我在收拾餐桌壤短。這時候设拟，郵遞員來了。
Then, at the end of August, when that
? extraordinary period was about to come to an end, two important things
? happened, suddenly, on the same day. It was the twenty-fifth, I remember with
? precision because my birthday fell on that day. I got up, I prepared
? breakfast for everyone, at the table I said, “Today I’m fifteen,” and as I
? said it I remembered that Lila had turned fifteen on the eleventh, but, in
? the grip of so many emotions, I hadn’t remembered. Although customarily it
? was the saint’s day that was celebrated—birthdays were considered irrelevant
? at the time—the Sarratores and Nella insisted on having a party, in the
? evening. I was pleased. They went to get ready for the beach, I began to
? clear the table, when the postman arrived.
他從窗子探進頭來久脯，說有一封給格雷科的信纳胧。我馬上跑了下樓去，心怦怦亂跳帘撰。我排除了父母給我寫信的可能跑慕。是莉拉寫給我的，還是尼諾摧找？最后我看到是莉拉的信核行，我把信封撕開了，里面有五頁信紙蹬耘，寫得密密麻麻的芝雪。我匆匆看了一遍，但一點兒也沒看明白——現(xiàn)在看來综苔，這似乎非常不正常惩系，但當時就是如此位岔。在明白信的內容之前，首先打動我的是莉拉的文字里包含著她的聲音堡牡。不僅如此抒抬，開始的幾行就讓我想起了《藍色仙女》里的文字，那是繼小學的那篇小作文之后晤柄，我唯一讀過的她寫的東西瞧剖。我現(xiàn)在明白了，為什么當時我那么喜歡她寫的那篇小說可免，《藍色仙女》里有一種品質抓于，到現(xiàn)在還打動著我：莉拉能通過文字說話，她的文字和我的文字浇借，以及薩拉托雷的那些文章和詩歌也不一樣捉撮；她和我讀過以及正在讀的很多小說家都不一樣。盡管她沒有繼續(xù)上學妇垢，但表達非常精確考究巾遭，沒有一個錯誤。還有一點闯估，她的句子里沒有任何矯揉造作灼舍、不自然的東西，也沒有一般書面語的矯飾涨薪。在讀她的信時骑素，我感覺自己能看到、聽到她刚夺，她的文字傳遞著她的聲音献丑，這讓我感覺很震撼。這比我們面對面交談更吸引我侠姑，因為寫出來的東西要比交談時更加純凈创橄，去掉了口語中那些混亂的東西，文字栩栩如生莽红。我想象這樣的文字應該產(chǎn)生于天帝宙斯的頭腦妥畏，而不是格雷科和賽魯羅之間的交流。
I stuck my head out the window, the
? postman said there was a letter for Greco. I ran down with my heart pounding.
? I ruled out the possibility that my parents had written to me. Was it a
? letter from Lila, from Nino? It was from Lila. I tore open the envelope.
? There were five closely written pages, and I devoured them, but I understood
? almost nothing of what I read. It may seem strange today, and yet it really
? was so: even before I was overwhelmed by the contents, what struck me was
? that the writing contained Lila’s voice. Not only that. From the first lines
? I thought of The Blue Fairy, the only text of hers that I had read, apart
? from our elementary-school homework, and I understood what, at the time, I
? had liked so much. There was, in The Blue Fairy, the same quality that struck
? me now: Lila was able to speak through writing; unlike me when I wrote,
? unlike Sarratore in his articles and poems, unlike even many writers I had
? read and was reading, she expressed herself in sentences that were well
? constructed, and without error, even though she had stopped going to school,
? but—further—she left no trace of effort, you weren’t aware of the artifice of
? the written word. I read and I saw her, I heard her. The voice set in the
? writing overwhelmed me, enthralled me even more than when we talked face to
? face: it was completely cleansed of the dross of speech, of the confusion of
? the oral; it had the vivid orderliness that I imagined would belong to
? conversation if one were so fortunate as to be born from the head of Zeus and
? not from the Grecos, the Cerullos.
我寫的那些幼稚的東西安吁，那些夸大其詞醉蚁、輕浮虛假的歡快，還有做作的語調真讓我臉紅柳畔，不知道莉拉是怎么評論我的馍管。我對杰拉切老師也產(chǎn)生了鄙視和憤怒，因為她給我的語文打了九分薪韩，這讓我產(chǎn)生了幻覺确沸。在我十五歲生日那天，那封信產(chǎn)生的第一個結果就是讓我感覺自己是一個騙子俘陷。對于我來說罗捎，學校失去了光環(huán)，證據(jù)就在那里——在莉拉的信里拉盾。
?I? was ashamed of the childish pages I had written to her, the overwrought tone,? the frivolity, the false cheer, the false grief. Who knows what Lila had? thought of me. I felt contempt and bitterness toward Professor Gerace, who? had deluded me by giving me a nine in Italian. The first effect of that? letter was to make me feel, at the age of fifteen, on the day of my birthday,? a fraud. School, with me, had made a mistake and proof was there, in Lila’s? letter.
最后桨菜，我慢慢看到了信的內容。莉拉首先祝我生日快樂捉偏，她說從來都沒有回信給我倒得，是因為我在度假、曬太陽夭禽。我和薩拉托雷家人處得很好霞掺，我愛尼諾，我喜歡這個島嶼還有瑪隆蒂海灘讹躯，她為我感到高興菩彬，不想破壞我的假期，因為發(fā)生在她身上的事都很糟糕潮梯。她現(xiàn)在很迫切地需要打破沉默骗灶。在我出發(fā)后，馬爾切洛·索拉拉得到了費爾南多的許可秉馏，幾乎每天晚上都會來家里吃飯耙旦。他會在八點半準時到達，十點半離開萝究。每次他都會帶點東西來：面條母廷、巧克力、糖或者咖啡糊肤。晚飯時琴昆，她一口飯都不吃，也不和他交談馆揉，他一聲不吭地看著她业舍。經(jīng)過第一個星期的折磨之后，馬爾切洛看到她假裝自己不存在升酣，就決定震撼她一下舷暮。一天早上，他和一位身材非常高大的伙計一起出現(xiàn)噩茄，那人渾身是汗下面，他們在餐廳里放了一只巨大的紙箱子墙贱，從里面取出一個大家都認識叮姑，但小區(qū)里很少有人擁有的東西：一臺電視機疼阔。這個設備讓人們可以從它的屏幕上看到圖像纫版，就像在電影院里，但圖像不是通過一臺放映機放映的机杜，而是靠設備里一個神秘的叫“陰極管”的管子帜讲，因為這個管子的緣故——那個大汗淋淋的壯漢一直在說——這個設備有幾天不能用。他們試了又試椒拗，最后電視機開始能看了似将，小區(qū)里的一半人，包括我父母還有幾個弟弟蚀苛，都去賽魯羅家里看這個神奇的設備在验。但里諾不看，他現(xiàn)在好一些了堵未，高燒徹底退了腋舌，他不再和馬爾切洛說話。當馬爾切洛出現(xiàn)時兴溜，他就開始說電視的各種壞話侦厚，或者過一會兒連飯都不吃就去睡覺，要么就和帕斯卡萊拙徽、安東尼奧在街上晃悠刨沦，一直到深夜才回來。莉拉說她很愛看電視膘怕，尤其是喜歡和梅麗娜一起看想诅，她每天晚上都來，一個人靜悄悄地看岛心，非常專注来破。
Then, slowly, the contents reached me as? well. Lila sent me good wishes for my birthday. She hadn’t written because? she was pleased that I was having fun in the sun, that I was comfortable with? the Sarratores, that I loved Nino, that I liked Ischia so much, the beach of? the Maronti, and she didn’t want to spoil my vacation with her terrible? stories. But now she had felt an urge to break the silence. Immediately after? my departure Marcello Solara, with the consent of Fernando, had begun to? appear at dinner every night. He came at eightthirty. He always brought? something: pastries, chocolates, sugar, coffee. She didn’t touch anything,? she kept him at a distance, he looked at her in silence. After the first week? of that torture, since Lila acted as if he weren’t there, he had decided to? surprise her. He showed up in the morning with a big fellow, all sweaty, who? deposited in the dining room an enormous cardboard box. Out of the box? emerged an object that we all knew about but that very few in the neighborhood? had in their house: a television, an apparatus, that is, with a screen on? which one saw images, just as at the cinema, but the images came not from a? projector but rather from the air, and inside the apparatus was a mysterious? tube that was called a cathode. Because of that tube, mentioned continuously? by the large sweaty man, the machine hadn’t worked for days. Then, after? various attempts, it had started, and now half the neighborhood, including my? mother, my father, and my sister and brothers, came to the Cerullo house to? see the miracle. Not Rino. He was better, the fever had definitely gone, but? he no longer spoke to Marcello. When Marcello showed up, he began to? disparage the television and after a while he either went to bed without? eating or went out and wandered around with Pasquale and Antonio until late? at night. Lila said that she herself loved the television. She especially? liked to watch it with Melina, who came every night and sat silently for a? long time, completely absorbed.?
那是家里唯一太平的時刻。其他時候忘古，所有的憤怒都發(fā)泄到她身上：她哥哥憤怒徘禁，因為她不再管他，任憑他成為父親奴隸髓堪，而她會通過這門婚事成為一個闊太太送朱；費爾南多和農(nóng)齊亞生氣是因為她對索拉拉態(tài)度很不好，很粗魯干旁；最后驶沼，馬爾切洛也很惱火，因為莉拉從來都沒有接受過他争群，但他越來越覺得自己是莉拉的男朋友回怜，事實上是她的主人。他想通過默默的付出得到一些回報换薄，比如說接吻玉雾。他會詢問她整天都去了哪里翔试、和誰見面，問她有沒有別的男朋友抹凳，有沒有人碰過她等等遏餐。她從來都不回答他的問題伦腐，更糟糕的是赢底，她還捉弄他，跟他講她和那些不存在的男朋友之間的熱吻和擁抱柏蘑。有天晚上幸冻，馬爾切洛很嚴肅地在她耳邊說：“你玩我？你記不記得你用刀子威脅我的事咳焚？好吧洽损，假如我發(fā)現(xiàn)你喜歡別的男人，你要想清楚了革半，我不會只是威脅你碑定，我會直接殺了你∮止伲”就這樣延刘，她不知道怎么逃脫那個困境，她一直隨身帶著武器以防萬一六敬，她很害怕碘赖。她在信的最后幾頁寫道：她感覺到整個小區(qū)的罪惡都圍繞著她，在黑暗中混作一團外构，好壞摻合在一起普泡，善惡相互助長。想一想审编，馬爾切洛是一個不錯的對象撼班，那些好人會作惡，惡人也會行善垒酬，這種混雜讓她喘不過氣來砰嘁。幾天前發(fā)生了一件事情，讓她受到了驚嚇伤溉。馬爾切洛走了般码，電視也關了，家里空蕩蕩的乱顾，里諾在外面晃蕩板祝，父母都上床了。她一個人在廚房里收拾盤子走净，她很累券时，一點力氣也沒有孤里。忽然間，她聽到了什么東西碎了橘洞，她轉過身捌袜，發(fā)現(xiàn)一口大銅鍋無緣無故自己就裂了。那口鍋掛在釘子上炸枣，還在平時的位置虏等，但鍋中間有一道很長的裂縫，一個非常明顯的口子适肠，整口鍋都變形了霍衫，就好像沒法保持鍋的模樣。她母親穿著睡衣跑了過來侯养，說是她把鍋摔壞了敦跌，但一口銅鍋即使是掉在地上，也不會變形成那個樣子逛揩∧“那種事，”莉拉最后總結說辩稽，“讓我很害怕惧笛，要比馬爾切洛，要比任何人都讓我感到害怕搂誉。我感覺只要找到一個解決的辦法徐紧，如果沒找到解決方案的話，那種事會一件接一件地發(fā)生炭懊，毀掉一切并级，所有的一切∥旮梗”最后嘲碧，她對我說再見，寫了很多祝福我的話父阻，雖然她渴望的是相反的東西：她迫不及待地想見到我愈涩，迫切需要我的幫助。但她最后還是希望我待在島上加矛，和熱情的內拉太太待在一起履婉，希望我再也不用回到我們的小區(qū)。
It was the only moment of peace.
? Otherwise, everyone’s anger was unloaded on her: her brother’s anger because
? she had abandoned him to his fate as the slave of their father while she set
? off on a marriage that would make her a lady; the anger of Fernando and
? Nunzia because she was not nice to Solara but, rather, treated him like dirt;
? finally the anger of Marcello, who, although she hadn’t accepted him, felt
? increasingly that he was her fiancé, in fact her master, and tended to pass
? from silent devotion to attempts to kiss her, to suspicious questions about
? where she went during the day, whom she saw, if she had had other boyfriends,
? if she had even just touched anyone. Since she wouldn’t answer, or, worse
? still, teased him by telling him of kisses and embraces with nonexistent
? boyfriends, he one evening had whispered to her seriously, “You tease me, but
? remember when you threatened me with the knife? Well, if I find out that you
? like someone else, remember, I won’t merely threaten you, I’ll kill you.” So
? she didn’t know how to get out of this situation and she still carried her
? weapon, just in case. But she was terrified. She wrote, in the last pages, of
? feeling all the evil of the neighborhood around her. Rather, she wrote
? obscurely, good and evil are mixed together and reinforce each other in turn.
? Marcello, if you thought about it, was really a good arrangement, but the
? good tasted of the bad and the bad tasted of the good, it was a mixture that
? took your breath away. A few evenings earlier, something had happened that
? had really scared her. Marcello had left, the television was off, the house
? was empty, Rino was out, her parents were going to bed. She was alone in the
? kitchen washing the dishes and was tired, really without energy, when there was
? an explosion. She had turned suddenly and realized that the big copper pot
? had exploded. Like that, by itself. It was hanging on the nail where it
? normally hung, but in the middle there was a large hole and the rim was
? lifted and twisted and the pot itself was all deformed, as if it could no
? longer maintain its appearance as a pot. Her mother had hurried in in her
? nightgown and had blamed her for dropping it and ruining it. But a copper
? pot, even if you drop it, doesn’t break and doesn’t become misshapen like
? that. “It’s this sort of thing,” Lila concluded, “that frightens me. More
? than Marcello, more than anyone. And I feel that I have to find a solution,
? otherwise, everything, one thing after another, will break, everything,
? everything.” She sent me many more good wishes, and, even if she wished the
? opposite, even if she couldn’t wait to see me, even if she urgently needed my
? help, she hoped I would stay in Ischia with kind Signora Nella and never
? return to the neighborhood again.
35
那封信讓我非常不安斟览，就像往常一樣毁腿，莉拉的世界迅速地超越了我的世界。我在七八月間寫的那些信讓我覺得自己很平庸，我現(xiàn)在要找到一種彌補的辦法已烤。我沒有去海邊鸠窗，想馬上寫一封嚴肅的信回復她，言簡意賅胯究，清楚明了稍计，用她那種陳述的語氣。但是裕循，之前那些信我寫得非常輕易——我在短短幾分鐘就可以寫滿一頁臣嚣，一氣呵成，不用修改》丫拢現(xiàn)在寫的那封信茧球，改了又改庭瑰，重寫了好幾次星持。當我談到尼諾對他父親的仇恨、梅麗娜事件在這種仇恨的孳生過程中扮演的角色弹灭，還有我和薩拉托雷全家人的關系督暂，甚至我對正在發(fā)生的事情感到的不安，我都沒辦法寫好穷吮。多納托在現(xiàn)實中是一個不同凡響的男人逻翁，但落在紙上，就成了一個平庸的父親捡鱼。關于馬爾切洛八回，我也只能提出一些非常膚淺的建議。最后驾诈，我覺得唯一真實的感情是：我不痛快缠诅，因為她家有電視，我家沒有乍迄。
This letter disturbed me greatly. Lila’s
? world, as usual, rapidly superimposed itself on mine. Everything that I had
? written in July and August seemed to me trivial, I was seized by a frenzy to
? redeem myself. I didn’t go to the beach, I tried immediately to answer her
? with a serious letter, one that had the essential, pure yet colloquial tone
? of hers. But if the other letters had come easily to me—I dashed off pages
? and pages in a few minutes, without ever correcting—this I wrote, rewrote,
? rewrote again, and yet Nino’s hatred of his father, the role that the affair
? of Melina had had in the origin of that ugly sentiment, my entire
? relationship with the Sarratore family, even my anxiety about what was
? happening to her, came out badly. Donato, who in reality was a remarkable
? man, on the page became a banal family man; and, as far as Marcello was
? concerned, I was capable only of superficial advice. In the end all that
? seemed true was my disappointment that she had a television at home and I
? didn’t.
總之管引，我沒法給她寫回信，盡管我沒去曬太陽闯两，沒和西羅玩耍褥伴，沒和皮諾、克萊利亞漾狼、莉迪亞重慢、瑪麗莎、薩拉托雷一起去海邊逊躁，我也寫不出來似踱。幸虧后來內拉來天臺上陪我，給我端了一杯大麥茶。幸運的是屯援，薩拉托雷全家人從海邊回來猛们，他們都說很遺憾，我待在家里狞洋，沒和他們一起去海灘弯淘，他們又提起了為我慶祝生日的事情。莉迪亞要親手給我做一個蛋糕吉懊，上面有厚厚一層奶油庐橙；內拉開了一瓶苦艾酒；多納托開始播放那不勒斯民歌借嗽；瑪麗莎送給我一個海馬布偶态鳖，那是她前天晚上在港口給自己買的。
In other words I couldn’t answer her,
? even though I deprived myself of the sea, the sun, the pleasure of being with
? Ciro, with Pino, with Clelia, with Lidia, with Marisa, with Sarratore.
? Thankfully Nella, at some point, came to keep me company on the terrace,
? bringing me an orzata. And when the Sarratores came back from the beach, they
? were sorry that I had stayed home and began celebrating me again. Lidia
? herself wanted to make a cake filled with pastry cream, Nella opened a bottle
? of vermouth, Donato Sarratore began singing Neapoli-tan songs, Marisa gave me
? an oakum seahorse she had bought at the Port the night before.
我心情好一些了恶导，但還是一直想著莉拉和她遇到的麻煩浆竭，我過得那么好，那么多人為我慶祝生日惨寿。我用略帶夸張的語氣對他們說邦泄，我收到了好朋友的一封信，那個朋友需要我的幫助裂垦，因此我要提前回去顺囊。“最晚后天蕉拢√靥迹”我說，但我自己心里也沒底晕换。實際上午乓，我這么說只是為了聽到內拉挽留我，說她覺得很遺憾届巩；莉迪亞說西羅一定會特別想我硅瞧；瑪麗莎也很失望；薩拉托雷用悲傷的聲音恕汇，大聲說：“你走了腕唧，我們怎么辦啊瘾英？”所有這些話都讓我很感動枣接，讓我的生日更加美好。
I grew calmer, yet I couldn’t get out of
? my mind Lila in trouble while I was so well, so celebrated. I said, in a
? slightly dramatic way, that I had received a letter from a friend, that my
? friend needed me, and so I was thinking of leaving before the appointed time.
? “The day after tomorrow at the latest,” I announced, but without really
? believing it. In fact I said it only to hear Nella say how sorry she was,
? Lidia how Ciro would suffer, Marisa how desperate she would be, and Sarratore
? exclaim sadly, “How will we manage without you?” All this moved me, making my
? birthday even happier.
最后缺谴，皮諾和西羅開始打瞌睡但惶，莉迪亞和多納托帶他們去睡覺。瑪麗莎幫我洗碟子。內拉對我說膀曾，如果我第二天早上要多睡一會兒的話县爬，她可以早起準備早餐，我沒答應添谊，說那是我的工作财喳。所有人一個個都去睡覺了，就剩下我一個人斩狱。我在廚房角落里搭好小床耳高，仔細看了看周圍，看有沒有蟑螂和蚊子所踊，最后泌枪，我的目光落在了一把銅鍋上。
Then Pino and Ciro began to nod and Lidia
? and Donato took them to bed. Marisa helped me wash the dishes, Nella said
? that if I wanted to sleep a little later in the morning she would get up to
? make breakfast. I protested, that was my job. One by one, they withdrew, and
? I was alone. I made my bed in the usual corner, I looked around to see if
? there were cockroaches, if there were mosquitoes. My gaze fell on the copper
? pots.
莉拉的信是那么迷人秕岛，我看著那些銅鍋碌燕，心里覺得越來越不安。我記得莉拉很喜歡那些锃亮的銅鍋瓣蛀，清洗銅鍋時她總是擦得很仔細陆蟆。四年前，莉拉講述堂·阿奇勒被人用匕首抹了脖子惋增、血噴到了一張銅鍋上的情景，那不是一件偶然的事情「啮辏現(xiàn)在诈皿，她賦予銅鍋一種咄咄逼人的感覺，就像她所面臨的難以抉擇的處境像棘，她讓一把銅鍋炸開了稽亏，像一種暗示，就好像那口鍋忽然決定自己裂開缕题。假如沒有她截歉，我一個人能想象出那些事情嗎？我能不能賦予每樣東西生命烟零，讓這些東西順應我的心思瘪松？我關上了燈，脫了衣服躺在了床上锨阿，手上拿著莉拉給我寫的信宵睦，還有尼諾的書簽——我那時候擁有的最珍貴的兩樣東西。
How evocative Lila’s writing was; I
? looked at the pots with increasing distress. I remembered that she had always
? liked their brilliance, when she washed them she took great care in polishing
? them. On them, not coincidentally, four years earlier, she had placed the
? blood that spurted from the neck of Don Achille when he was stabbed. On them
? now she had deposited that sensation of threat, the anguish over the
? difficult choice she had, making one of them explode like a sign, as if its
? shape had decided abruptly to cede. Would I know how to imagine those things
? without her? Would I know how to give life to every object, let it bend in
? unison with mine? I turned off the light. I got undressed and got in bed with
? Lila’s letter and Nino’s blue bookmark, which seemed to me at that moment the
? most precious things that I possessed.
皎潔的月光從窗口灑進來墅诡。我像往常一樣吻著那個書簽壳嚎，想在微弱的月光下重讀莉拉寫給我的信。那些銅鍋在月光下熠熠生輝，桌子有些吱吱嘎嘎烟馅，天花板好像重重地壓下來了说庭，夜風帶來大海的氣息。莉拉的寫作水平又一次讓我覺得很屈辱：她能塑造那些形象郑趁，但我卻不能口渔。我的眼睛模糊了。她沒有去上學穿撮，不再在圖書館借書缺脉，就已經(jīng)那么厲害。當然悦穿，我很幸福攻礼，但那種幸福感同時讓我覺得罪惡和悲傷。
From the window the white light of the
? moon rained down. I kissed the bookmark as I did every night, I tried to
? reread my friend’s letter in the weak glow. The pots shone, the table
? creaked, the ceiling weighed oppressively, the night air and the sea pressed
? on the walls. Again I felt humbled by Lila’s ability to write, by what she
? was able to give form to and I was not, my eyes misted. I was happy, yes,
? that she was so good even without school, without books from the library, but
? that happiness made me guiltily unhappy.
我聽到腳步聲栗柒，看到薩拉托雷的影子進了廚房礁扮，他沒穿鞋子，身上穿著天藍色的睡衣瞬沦，我把床單拉起來太伊。他走到水龍頭前，拿水杯喝了一杯水逛钻。他站在洗碗池前待了幾秒鐘僚焦，然后把杯子放了下來。他向我床邊走來曙痘，他在我的身邊彎下腰芳悲，胳膊肘放在床單邊上。
Then I heard footsteps. I saw the shadow
? of Sarratore enter the kitchen, barefoot, in blue pajamas. I pulled up the
? sheet. He went to the tap, he took a glass of water, drank. He remained
? standing for a few seconds in front of the sink, put down the glass, moved
? toward my bed. He squatted beside me, his elbows resting on the edge of the
? sheet.
“我知道你醒著边坤∶福”他說。
“I know you’re awake,” he said.
“是的茧痒“谷停”
“Yes.”
“別管你那個朋友，你留下來吧旺订∨螅”
“Don’t think of your friend, stay.”
“她現(xiàn)在遇到麻煩，她需要我耸峭∽兀”
“She’s in trouble, she needs me.”
“需要你的人是我±湍郑”他抗議說院究，然后吻了我的嘴唇洽瞬，不像他兒子那么輕盈，他的舌頭撬開了我的嘴唇业汰。
“It’s I who need you,” he said, and he
? leaned over, kissed me on the mouth without the lightness of his son, half
? opening my lips with his tongue.
我一動不動伙窃。
I was immobilized.
他輕輕扯開床單，充滿激情地吻著我样漆，他用手探索著我的胸为障，在睡衣下?lián)崦业男亍Ｋ砷_我的胸放祟，把手伸向我的雙腿之間鳍怨，用兩根手指按壓著我的內褲。我不說話跪妥，一動不動鞋喇，我被他的動作嚇壞了，我一邊感到極其恐懼眉撵，同時又感覺到享受侦香。他的胡子扎著我的上嘴唇，他的舌頭很粗糙纽疟。最后域醇，他輕輕地離開了我的嘴唇距淫，手也拿開了构挤。
He pushed the sheet aside, continuing to
? kiss me with care, with passion, and he sought my breast with his hand, he
? caressed me under the nightgown. Then he let go, descended between my legs,
? pressed two fingers hard over my underpants. I said, did nothing, I was
? terrified by that behavior, by the horror it created, by the pleasure that I
? nevertheless felt. His mustache pricked my upper lip, his tongue was rough.
? Slowly he left my mouth, took away his hand.
“明天晚上耽装，我們在沙灘上好好散個步，”他的聲音有些沙啞膘壶，“我很喜歡你错蝴，我知道你也非常喜歡我，是不是颓芭？”
“Tomorrow night we’ll take a nice walk,
? you and I, on the beach,” he said, a little hoarsely. “I love you and I know
? that you love me very much. Isn’t it true?”
我什么都沒有說。他又用嘴唇掠過我的嘴唇柬赐，低聲說了句晚安亡问，站起身走出廚房。我還是一動不動地躺著肛宋，不知道過去了多長時間州藕。我很想擺脫他的舌頭留給我的感覺，還有他的撫摸酝陈、他的手放在我身上的感覺床玻，但那種感覺揮之不去。尼諾本來想事先告訴我的沉帮，他就知道會發(fā)生這樣的事情嗎锈死？我對多納托·薩拉托雷產(chǎn)生了一種難以抑制的仇恨贫堰，對我自己也產(chǎn)生了一種鄙視，因為我的身體體味到快感待牵。
I said nothing. He brushed my lips again? with his, murmured good night, got up and left the kitchen. I didn’t move, I? don’t know for how long. However I tried to distance the sensation of his? tongue, his caresses, the pressure of his hand, I couldn’t. Nino had wanted? to warn me, did he know what would happen? I felt an uncontainable hatred for? Donato Sarratore and disgust for myself, for the pleasure that lingered in my? body.?
現(xiàn)在說起來好像不是很真實：但自打記事起其屏，一直到那個夜晚，我從來沒有過那種感覺缨该，我不熟悉那種快感偎行，所以覺得很意外。我保持那個動作贰拿，不知道過了多少個小時蛤袒。最后天剛亮，我起身收拾好自己全部的東西膨更，把床拆了妙真，然后寫了兩句感謝內拉的話，就離開了那里询一。
However unlikely it may seem today, as
? long as I could remember until that night I had never given myself pleasure,
? I didn’t know about it, to feel it surprised me. I remained in the same
? position for many hours. Then, at first light, I shook myself, collected all
? my things, took apart the bed, wrote two lines of thanks to Nella, and left.
島上靜悄悄的隐孽，海水很平靜，大海的氣息迎面撲來健蕊。我用母親一個月前留給我的錢買了票菱阵，坐上了第一趟船。船離開碼頭缩功，我看到淡淡的曙光籠罩著島嶼晴及，島嶼距離我越來越遠。我想嫡锌，我終于有故事可以對莉拉講了虑稼，她一定沒經(jīng)歷過比這更值得記憶的事情。但我馬上想到我對薩拉托雷的憎惡势木，還有我對自己的厭惡蛛倦，這讓我沒辦法開口。實際上啦桌，這是我第一次講述那個假期的意外收場溯壶。
The island was almost noiseless, the sea
? still, only the smells were intense. Using the money that my mother had left
? me more than a month before, I took the first departing ferry. As soon as the
? boat moved and the island, with its tender early-morning colors, was distant
? enough, I thought that I finally had a story to tell that Lila could not
? match. But I knew immediately that the disgust I felt for Sarratore and the
? revulsion that I had toward myself would keep me from saying anything. In
? fact this is the first time I’ve sought words for that unexpected end to my
? vacation.
36
我發(fā)現(xiàn)那不勒斯臭氣熏天，非常炎熱甫男。對于我的變化——沒有青春痘了且改、曬得黝黑，我母親沒說一句話板驳，只是譴責我提前回去了又跛。
I found Naples submerged in a stinking,
? devastating heat. My mother, without saying a word about how I had
? changed—the acne gone, my skin sun-darkened—reproached me because I had
? returned before the appointed time.
“你做什么了？”她問若治，“你是不是表現(xiàn)得不好慨蓝，你老師的親戚把你趕走了感混？”
“What have you done,” she said, “you have
? behaved rudely, did the teacher’s friend throw you out?”
我父親的態(tài)度不一樣，他眼睛亮晶晶的菌仁，說了很多好話浩习，其中有一句他重復了上百遍，就是：“天吶济丘！我有一個這么漂亮的女兒谱秽。”我的幾個弟弟用很鄙視的語氣說：
It was different with my father, whose? eyes shone and who showered me with compliments, the most conspicuous of? which, repeated a hundred times, was: “Christ, what a pretty daughter I? have.” As for my siblings, they said with a certain contempt,?
“真像個黑鬼摹迷∨鄙蓿”
“You look like a negro.”
照鏡子時，我自己也覺得很驚異：太陽讓我的頭發(fā)變得金燦燦的峡碉，但我的臉近哟、手臂和腿像是被深色的金油刷過一樣。在伊斯基亞島上時鲫寄，那里的人都曬得黝黑吉执，我淹沒在那兒的顏色中，我的變化讓自己非常適應那個環(huán)境地来；但現(xiàn)在我回到了這個城區(qū)戳玫，在這里，每張臉未斑、每條街道都展現(xiàn)出那種病態(tài)的慘淡咕宿，我覺得自己和環(huán)境有些格格不入。人們蜡秽、居民區(qū)府阀，還有車來車往、塵土飛揚的大路芽突，都讓我感覺像報紙上印的照片一樣黯淡模糊试浙。
I looked at myself in the mirror and I
? also marveled: the sun had made me a shining blonde, but my face, my arms, my
? legs were as if painted with dark gold. As long as I had been immersed in the
? colors of Ischia, amid sunburned faces, my transformation had seemed
? suitable; now, restored to the context of the neighborhood, where every face,
? every street had a sick pallor, it seemed to me excessive, anomalous. The
? people, the buildings, the dusty, busy stradone had the appearance of a
? poorly printed photograph, like the ones in the newspapers.
我一有機會就跑去找莉拉。我在院子里叫她寞蚌，她先從窗子探出頭來川队，然后從大門里出來了。她擁抱了我睬澡，吻了我的臉，說了很多恭維我的話眠蚂，都是她之前從來沒說過的煞聪，那種公然表現(xiàn)出來的親密讓我很不適應。她還是之前的她逝慧，但在一個多月的時間里昔脯，還是有了一些變化啄糙，她不再像一個女孩，而更像一個女人——一個至少十八歲的女人云稚，那時候我覺得十八歲已經(jīng)很大了隧饼。那些舊衣服穿在她身上，看起來又短又窄静陈，就好像她在很短的時間內長大了燕雁，身體在衣服里呼之欲出。她比之前更高了鲸拥，肩膀很端正拐格，亭亭玉立，她的臉色很蒼白刑赶，脖子很細捏浊，看起來很嬌嫩，她的那種秀美是很罕見的撞叨。
As soon as I could I hurried to find
? Lila. I called her from the courtyard, she looked out, emerged from the
? doorway. She hugged me, kissed me, gave me compliments, so that I was
? overwhelmed by all that explicit affection. She was the same and yet, in little
? more than a month, she had changed further. She seemed no longer a girl but a
? woman, a woman of at least eighteen, an age that then seemed to me advanced.
? Her old clothes were short and tight, as if she had grown inside them in the
? space of a few minutes, and they hugged her body more than they should. She
? was even taller, more developed, her back was straight. And the pale face
? above her slender neck seemed to me to have a delicate, unusual beauty.
我感到她很不安金踪，在路上走著的時候，有好幾次她的眼睛看著四周和身后牵敷，但她沒給我解釋原因胡岔。她只是說：“你跟我來×恿欤”她讓我陪她去斯特凡諾家的肉食店姐军。她挽著我的胳膊，我們到了店里尖淘。她說：“這件事情我只能和你一起做奕锌，幸虧你回來了，我以為我要等到九月底呢村生【”
She seemed nervous, she kept looking
? around on the street, behind her, but she didn’t explain. She said only,
? “Come with me,” and wanted me to go with her to Stefano’s grocery. She added,
? taking my arm, “It’s something I can only do with you, thank goodness you’ve
? come back. I thought I’d have to wait till September.”
我們從來都沒有那么親密地挽著手走路，我們氣喘吁吁地向小公園走去趁桃，非常幸福地相聚在一起辽话。她跟我說，事情一天比一天糟糕卫病。前一天晚上油啤，馬爾切洛帶著點心和香檳到了家里，還送給她一顆鑲鉆戒指蟀苛。為了避免當著父母的面發(fā)生沖突益咬，她當時接受了，把戒指戴在了手指上帜平，但在他離開之前幽告，她毫不客氣地在門口把戒指還給了他梅鹦。馬爾切洛抗議了一下，再次威脅了她冗锁，卻忽然失聲痛哭起來齐唆。費爾南多和農(nóng)齊亞馬上發(fā)現(xiàn)出了狀況。她母親對馬爾切洛有好感：她喜歡馬爾切洛每天晚上帶來的好吃的冻河，也很自豪家里擁有一臺電視機箍邮；費爾南多覺得自己的苦日子到頭了，如果和索拉拉家攀上親芋绸，他的未來就有保障了媒殉。就這樣，馬爾切洛剛走摔敛，莉拉的父母就開始審訊她廷蓉，問她發(fā)生了什么，比往常逼迫得更緊马昙。最后的結果是：經(jīng)過那么長時間后桃犬，里諾第一次袒護了她。他叫喊著說行楞，假如妹妹不愿意嫁給馬爾切洛那個混蛋攒暇，那她有充分的理由拒絕他。如果他們再逼下去的話子房，他會把一切都燒掉形用，房子、鋪子证杭，還有自己和全家田度。父子倆又打起來了，農(nóng)齊亞在中間勸架解愤，鄰居都被吵醒了镇饺。不僅如此，里諾臨睡前非常激動送讲，他忽然就睡過去了奸笤，但過了一個小時，他又開始夢游哼鬓。他們在廚房發(fā)現(xiàn)了他监右，他正在一根接一根地點燃火柴，放在燃氣灶上异希，就好像看是不是漏氣秸侣。
We had never walked those streets toward? the public gardens so close to one another, so together, so happy to see each? other. She told me that things were getting worse every day. Just the night? before Marcello had arrived with sweets and spumante and had given her a ring? studded with diamonds. She had accepted it, had put it on her finger to avoid? trouble in the presence of her parents, but just before he left, at the door,? she had given it back to him rudely. Marcello had protested, he had? threatened her, as he now did more and more often, then had burst into tears.? Fernando and Nunzia had immediately realized that something was wrong. Her? mother had grown very fond of Marcello, she liked the good things he brought? to the house every night, she was proud of being the owner of a television;? and Fernando felt as if he had stopped suffering, because, thanks to a close? relationship with the Solaras, he could look to the future without anxieties.? Thus, as soon as Marcello left, both had harassed her more than usual to find? out what was happening. Result: for the first time in a long, long time, Rino? had defended her, had insisted that if his sister didn’t want a halfwit like? Marcello, it was her sacrosanct right to refuse him and that, if they? insisted on giving him to her, he, in person, would burn down everything, the? house and the shoemaker’s shop and himself and the entire family. Father and? son had started fighting, Nunzia had got involved, all the neighbors had? woken up. Not only: Rino had thrown himself on the bed in distress, had? abruptly fallen asleep, and an hour later had had another episode of? sleepwalking. They had found him in the kitchen lighting matches, and passing? them in front of the gas valve as if to check for leaks.?
農(nóng)齊亞驚恐萬分，叫起了莉拉。她對莉拉說：“里諾真的想把我們都燒死味榛。”莉拉跑去看了予跌，她讓母親放心搏色，說：“里諾還在做夢，和他醒著時不一樣券册，他只是擔心有沒有漏氣频轿。”她把哥哥帶到了床上烁焙，讓他接著睡航邢。
Nunzia, terrified, had wakened Lila,
? saying, “Rino really does want to burn us all alive,” and Lila had hurried in
? and reassured her mother: Rino was sleeping, and in sleep, unlike when he was
? awake, he wanted to make sure that there was no gas escaping. She had taken
? him back to bed.
“我實在受不了了，”她最后說骄蝇，“你不知道膳殷，我正在經(jīng)歷什么，我必須打破這個局面九火∽裕”
“I can’t bear it anymore,” she concluded,
? “you don’t know what torture this is, I have to get out of this situation.”
她緊緊地擁抱了我，就好像我能給她能量岔激。
She clung to me as if I could give her
? the energy.
“你現(xiàn)在很好勒极，”她說，“你一切都很順虑鼎，你應該幫我辱匿。”
“You’re well,” she said, “everything’s
? going well for you: you have to help me.”
我回答說炫彩，她有什么事情盡管跟我說匾七，我會全力以赴幫助她。她好像松了一口氣媒楼，拉著我的胳膊乐尊，低聲說：
I answered that she could count on me for? everything and she seemed relieved, she squeezed my arm, whispered,?
“你看』罚”
“Look.”
我遠遠看到太陽底下一個紅色的扔嵌、亮閃閃東西。
I saw in the distance a sort of red spot
? that radiated light.
“那是什么夺颤？”
“What is it?”
“你看不見嗎痢缎。”
“Don’t you see?”
“我看不清楚世澜《揽酰”
I couldn’t see clearly.
“那是斯特凡諾買的新汽車。”
“It’s Stefano’s new car.”
那輛汽車停在肉食店門口嵌洼，肉食店擴張了案疲，現(xiàn)在有兩個入口，里面擠滿了人麻养。那些顧客在排隊等候的間隙褐啡，會用很羨慕的目光看著那輛車，那是財富和地位的象征鳖昌。我們的小區(qū)從來都沒出現(xiàn)過這種車：敞篷車备畦，用玻璃和金屬做成，那是闊人才有的車许昨，索拉拉兄弟的“菲亞特1100”簡直沒法比懂盐。
We walked to where the car was parked, in
? front of the grocery store, which had been enlarged, had two entrances now,
? and was extremely crowded. The customers, waiting to be served, threw
? admiring glances at that symbol of well-being and prestige: a car like that
? had never been seen in the neighborhood, all glass and metal, with a roof
? that opened. A car for wealthy people, nothing like the Solaras’ 1100.
我走近那輛汽車看，這時候莉拉在陰涼處糕档，很警惕地看著街道莉恼，就好像時刻防備著自己被強奸。在門檻那里翼岁，斯特凡諾探出頭來类垫，身上的襯衣油乎乎的，他頭很大琅坡，額頭很高悉患，讓人感覺有些比例失調，但并不難看榆俺。他穿過馬路售躁，很熱情地跟我打了個招呼，說：
I wandered around it while Lila stood in? the shadows and surveyed the street as if she expected violence to erupt at? any moment. Stefano looked out from the doorway of the grocery, in his greasy? apron, his large head and his high forehead giving a not unpleasant sense of? disproportion. He crossed the street, greeted me cordially, said,?
“你看起來真棒茴晋，像個電影明星陪捷。”
“How well you look, like an actress.”
他看起來也很棒诺擅，像我一樣市袖，他也被曬黑了，也許整個城區(qū)烁涌，只有我們倆看起來很健康苍碟。我對他說：
He, too, looked well: he had been in the
? sun as I had, maybe we were the only ones in the whole neighborhood who
? appeared so healthy. I said to him:
“你曬得真黑啊〈橹矗”
“You’re very dark.”
“我放了一個星期的假微峰。”
“I took a week’s vacation.”
“你去哪里了抒钱？”
“Where?”
“伊斯基亞島蜓肆⊙湛”
“In Ischia.”
“我也在伊斯基亞≌萄铮”
“I was in Ischia, too.”
“我知道症概。莉拉跟我說了：我在伊斯基亞找了你，但一直沒找到厉颤⊙ㄔィ”
“I know, Lina told me: I looked for you
? but didn’t see you.”
我用手指著汽車。
I pointed to the car.?
“真漂亮逼友。”
“It’s beautiful.”
斯特凡諾的臉上泛起了一絲很有節(jié)制的得意秤涩，他指著莉拉帜乞，用充滿興趣的目光打量著她，對我說：
Stefano’s face wore an expression of? moderate agreement. He said, indicating Lila, with laughing eyes:?
“這是我給你朋友買的筐眷，但她一直不相信黎烈。”
“I bought it for your friend, but she
? won’t believe it.”
我看著莉拉匀谣，她在陰涼處照棋，非常嚴肅，表情有些僵武翎。斯特凡諾用有些諷刺的語氣對她說：“現(xiàn)在萊農(nóng)奇婭回來了烈炭，你打算怎么辦？”
?I? looked at Lila, who was standing in the shadows, her expression serious,? tense. Stefano said to her, vaguely ironic, “Now Lenuccia’s back, what are? you doing?”
莉拉用一種幾乎有些遭罪的語氣說：“我們走吧宝恶！但你要記住符隙，你邀請的是她，而不是我垫毙，我只是給你們做伴的霹疫。”
Lila said, as if the thing annoyed her,
? “Let’s go. But remember, you invited her, not me: I only came along with the
? two of you.”
他笑了一下综芥，回到商店里丽蝎。
He smiled and went back into the shop.
“發(fā)生了什么事？”我有些迷茫地問膀藐。
“What’s happening?” I asked her,
? confused.
“我不知道屠阻。”她回答說消请。她想說她不知道自己具體在搞什么栏笆。她看起來像在算一道很難的數(shù)學題，但表情并不像往常那樣放肆臊泰，她看起來顯然很擔心蛉加，就好像正在做一個實驗，但對結果并不是很確信≌爰ⅲ“一切都開始于斯特凡諾買了這輛汽車厂抽。”她對我說丁眼，他開始就像開玩笑筷凤，但后來越來越嚴肅，他說買這輛車子是為了她苞七，是為了能打開車門請她坐上去藐守，至少一次□宸纾“這車只適合你坐卢厂。”他是這么對莉拉說的惠啄。從七月底他們把車子交付給他開始慎恒，他就一直請求她上去，但他的方式很客氣撵渡，并不煩人融柬。他請求她先和阿方索坐上他開的車兜一圈，然后是和皮諾奇婭趋距，最后和他母親粒氧，但她一直都回絕了。最后她終于答應他了棚品，她說：“等萊農(nóng)奇婭從伊斯基亞回來時靠欢，我再和你兜風⊥埽”現(xiàn)在门怪，我們在那里，該發(fā)生的事情總會發(fā)生锅纺。
“I don’t know,” she said, and meant that
? she didn’t know exactly what she was getting into. She looked the way she did
? when she had to do a difficult calculation in her head, but without her usual
? impudent expression; she was visibly preoccupied, as if she were attempting
? an experiment with an uncertain result. “It all began,” she said, “with the
? arrival of that car.” Stefano, first as if joking, then with increasing
? seriousness, had sworn to her that he had bought the car for her, for the
? pleasure of opening the door and having her get in at least once. “It was
? made just for you,” he had said. And since it had been delivered, at the end
? of July, he had been asking her constantly, not in an aggressive way, but
? politely, first to take a drive with him and Alfonso, then with him and
? Pinuccia, then even with him and his mother. But she had always said no.
? Finally she had promised him, “I’ll go when Lenuccia comes back from Ischia.”
? And now we were there, and what was to happen would happen.
“他知道馬爾切洛的事情嗎掷空？”
“But he knows about Marcello?”
“他當然知道《陲保”
“Of course he knows.”
“然后呢坦弟？”
“And so?”
“他還是堅持要那么做」俚兀”
“So he insists.”
“我很害怕酿傍，莉拉∏耄”
“I’m scared, Lila.”
“你記不記得赤炒，我們做了多少讓人害怕的事情氯析？我特意等你回來≥喊”
“Do you remember how many things we’ve
? done that scared you? I waited for you on purpose.”
斯特凡諾回來時脫掉了白褂子掩缓，他頭發(fā)很黑，臉色也很黝黑遵岩，眼睛又黑又亮你辣，他穿著白襯衣、黑褲子尘执。他打開汽車門舍哄，坐到方向盤后，打開了車篷誊锭。他這么做是為了讓我坐到后排的位子上蠢熄，但莉拉攔住了我，她自己坐在了后面炉旷。我很不自在地坐在了斯特凡諾旁邊。他馬上開動車子叉讥，向新修建的小區(qū)方向開去窘行。
Stefano returned without his apron, dark
? eyes, dark face, shining black eyes, white shirt and dark pants. He opened
? the car door, sat behind the wheel, put the top down. I was about to get into
? the narrow back space but Lila stopped me, she settled herself in the back. I
? sat uneasily next to Stefano, he started off immediately, heading toward the
? new buildings.
風很涼爽，我覺得很舒服图仓，我陶醉于汽車的速度罐盔，同時也陶醉于斯特凡諾·卡拉奇的身上散發(fā)出來的那種自信和平靜系宜。我覺得奢赂，雖然莉拉沒說什么匀哄，但她已經(jīng)向我解釋了一切腔丧。事情就是這樣：那輛鮮紅色的跑車買來就是為了載著她兜風的勾拉，這只是開始示辈。事實上取胎，盡管那個開車的年輕人知道馬爾切洛·索拉拉的事闽晦，他正在打破男人間的規(guī)矩劫窒，但并沒有明顯的不安本今。是的，我當時在車上主巍，忽然被卷進了那件事冠息，我的出現(xiàn)可以掩蓋他們之間的一些私密談話，甚至他們的關系孕索。但這到底是怎樣的一種關系呢逛艰？當然，這一圈兜下來搞旭，會發(fā)生一些比較重要的事散怖。莉拉自己不知道菇绵，也不想告訴我那些具體的事情讓我理解。她是怎么想的呢杭抠？她不可能不知道脸甘，正在發(fā)生的事要比她從墨水瓶里向外甩紙片更糟糕。然而偏灿，極有可能丹诀，她也不知道自己具體要干什么。她就是這樣翁垂，會打破平衡铆遭，就是為了看到有沒有另一種方式可以重新恢復平衡。因此沿猜，我們坐在跑車上枚荣，頭發(fā)在風中散開，斯特凡諾駕駛技術非常熟練啼肩，他心滿意足橄妆，我坐在他旁邊，就像是他的女朋友祈坠。我想著他說我像一個電影明星時的目光害碾，想著是不是有一種可能性，就是他喜歡我超過喜歡我的朋友赦拘。我想著馬爾切洛·索拉拉可能會向他開槍慌随，就覺得不寒而栗。他瀟灑自信的動作躺同，會像莉拉描述銅鍋一樣阁猜，不再那么牢不可破。
The heat dissipated in the wind. I felt
? good, intoxicated by the speed and by the tranquil certainties released by
? Carracci’s body. It seemed to me that Lila had explained everything without
? explaining anything. There was, yes, this brandsoaked bits of paper. And yet
? it might be that she wasn’t aiming at anything precise. She was like that,
? she threw things off balance just to see if she could put them back in some
? other way. So here we were racing along, hair blowing in the wind, Stefano
? driving with satisfied skill, I sitting beside him as if I were his
? girlfriend. I thought of how he had looked at me, when he said I looked like
? an actress. I thought of the possibility of him liking me more than he now
? liked my friend. I thought with horror of the idea that Marcello Solara might
? shoot him. His beautiful person with its confident gestures would lose
? substance like the copper of the pot that Lila had written about.
我們朝那些新建的樓房開去蹋艺，就是為了避免經(jīng)過索拉拉酒吧前面剃袍。
We were driving among the new buildings
? in order to avoid passing the Bar Solara.
“我不在乎馬爾切洛是不是能看到我們，”斯特凡諾平靜地說车海，“但如果你在乎的話笛园，那我們繞過去∈讨ィ”
“I don’t care if Marcello sees us,”
? Stefano said without emphasis, “but if it matters to you it’s fine like
? this.”’
我們鉆進了隧道研铆，向海邊方向開去。很多年之前我和莉拉一起走過那條路州叠，就是后來下雨的那次棵红。我提到了那次經(jīng)歷，她笑了咧栗，斯特凡諾想讓我們講講逆甜。我們講了那次出行的所有經(jīng)過虱肄，大家很開心，最后我們到了格拉尼里交煞。
We went through the tunnel, we turned
? toward the Marina. It was the road that Lila and I had taken many years
? earlier, when we had gotten caught in the rain. I mentioned that episode, she
? smiled, Stefano wanted us to tell him about it. We told him everything, it
? was fun, and meanwhile we arrived at the Granili.
“你們覺得怎么樣咏窿？速度挺快的，是不是素征？”
“What do you think, fast, isn’t it?”
“非臣叮快∮悖”我熱情地說根欧。
“Incredibly fast,” I said,
? enthusiastically.
莉拉沒有做任何評論。她看著四周端蛆，時不時會拍著我的肩膀凤粗，給我指那些房子，還有路上衣衫襤褸的人今豆，就好像她得到了一個結論嫌拣，一件我應該馬上明白的事情。最后呆躲，沒有任何前言亭罪，她很嚴肅地問斯特凡諾：
Lila made no comment. She looked around,
? at times she touched my shoulder to point out the houses, the ragged poverty
? along the street, as if she saw a confirmation of something and I was
? supposed to understand it right away. Then she asked Stefano, seriously,
? without preamble,
“你真的和別人不一樣嗎？”
?“Are you really different?”
他在后視鏡里尋找她的眼睛歼秽。
He looked at her in the rearview mirror.
“和誰不一樣？”
?“From whom?”
“你知道的情组≡锟辏”
“You know.”
他沒有馬上回答。過了一會兒院崇，他用方言說：
He didn’t answer immediately. Then he? said in dialect,?
“你想讓我說實話嗎肆氓？”
“Do you want me to tell you the truth?”
“是的〉装辏”
“Yes.”
“我的出發(fā)點是那樣的谢揪，但我不知道事情會有什么結果【杵荆”
“The intention is there, but I don’t know
? how it will end up.”
我那時候才發(fā)現(xiàn)拨扶，莉拉一定是有很多事沒告訴我。那種充滿暗示的語氣證明了他們的關系很密切茁肠，他們已經(jīng)在其他時候交談過了患民，不是開玩笑，而是很嚴肅地談過了垦梆。我在伊斯基亞的那段時間到底錯過了什么匹颤？我轉過身去看她仅孩，她沒有回答。我想是斯特凡諾的回答太模糊了印蓖，讓她有些煩躁辽慕。我看到她在陽光下瞇著眼睛，襯衣鼓鼓的赦肃，胸口在起伏溅蛉，風灌進了她的衣服。
At that point I was sure that Lila must
? not have told me quite a few things. That allusive tone was evidence that
? they were close, that they had talked other times and not in jest but
? seriously. What had I missed in the period of Ischia? I turned to look at
? her, she delayed replying, I thought that Stefano’s answer had made her
? nervous because of its vagueness. I saw her flooded by sunlight, eyes half
? closed, her shirt swelled by her breast and by the wind.
“這地方要比我們那里還窮摆尝，”說完這些温艇，她又笑著說，“你不要以為我忘了你想扎我舌頭的事堕汞∩装”
“The poverty here is worse than among
? us,” she said. And then, without connection, laughing, “Don’t think I’ve
? forgotten about when you wanted to prick my tongue.”
斯特凡諾點了點頭。
Stefano nodded.
“那是另一個時代的事了讯检∷雎常”他說。
“That was another era,” he said.
“你那時候個子是我的兩倍高人灼，真是欺軟怕硬围段。”
“Once a coward, always a coward—you were
? twice as big as me.”
他有些尷尬地微笑了一下投放，沒接她的話茬奈泪，加速向港口方向開去。這次兜風不超過半個小時灸芳，我們向雷蒂費洛區(qū)和加里波第廣場方向開去涝桅。
He gave a small, embarrassed smile and,
? without answering, accelerated in the direction of the port. The drive lasted
? less than half an hour, we went back on the Rettifilo and Piazza Garibaldi.
“你哥哥狀態(tài)不好±友”我們快到小區(qū)跟前時冯遂，斯特凡諾說。他還是從后視鏡里看她谒获，然后問：“櫥窗里展示的那雙鞋子蛤肌，就是你們做的嗎？”
“Your brother isn’t well,” Stefano said
? when we had returned to the outskirts of the neighborhood. He looked at her
? again in the mirror and asked, “Are those shoes displayed in the window the
? ones you made?”
“做鞋的事情批狱，你又不懂裸准！”
“What do you know about the shoes?”
“里諾一直在說那雙鞋∨饬颍”
“It’s all Rino talks about.”
“還有呢狼速？”
“And so?”
“那雙鞋很漂亮。”
“They’re very beautiful.”
她瞇起了眼睛向胡，好像眼睛快要閉上一樣恼蓬。
She narrowed her eyes, squeezed them
? almost until they were closed.
“那你就買了吧〗┣郏”她用通常那種挑釁的語氣說处硬。
“Buy them,” she said in her provocative
? tone.
“你們要賣多少錢？”
“How much will you sell them for?”
“你要和我父親談拇派『稍”
“Talk to my father.”
斯特凡諾很果斷地掉頭了，我一下子撞在車門上件豌，我們向修鞋的鋪子方向開去疮方。
Stefano made a decisive U turn that threw
? me against the door, we turned onto the street where the shoe repair shop
? was.
“你要做什么？”莉拉問茧彤，她滿臉驚恐骡显。
“What are you doing?” Lila asked, alarmed
? now.
“你說讓我買了，我現(xiàn)在就去買曾掂”拱”
“You said to buy them and I’m going to
? buy them.”
