Thirty's the new 20," Alex would say, and as far as I could tell, she was right. Work happened later, marriage happened later, kids happened later, even death happened later. Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?Alex說：“30歲是一個新的20歲”。沒錯吝镣，我告訴她“你是對的”堤器。工作還早，結(jié)婚還早末贾，生孩子還早闸溃，甚至死亡也早著呢。像Alex和我這樣20多歲的人拱撵，什么都沒有但時間多的是辉川。
But before long, my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life. I pushed back. I said, "Sure, she's dating down, she's sleeping with a knucklehead, but it's not like she's going to marry the guy." And then my supervisor said, "Not yet, but she might marry the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one."。拴测。但不久之后乓旗，我的導(dǎo)師就要我向Alex的感情生活施壓。我反駁說：“當然她現(xiàn)在正在和別人交往集索，她現(xiàn)在和一個傻瓜男生睡覺屿愚，但看樣子她不會和他結(jié)婚的∥窬＃” 而我的導(dǎo)師說：“不著急妆距，她也許會和下一個傻瓜結(jié)婚。但修復(fù)Alex婚姻的最好時期是她還沒擁有婚姻的時期蛹含∫愫瘢”
20多歲是發(fā)展的黃金階段，我們可以用來選擇事業(yè)浦箱、選擇愛情吸耿、提升自己，然而我們總是覺得時間還多酷窥，等到30歲再做決定也不遲咽安。于是當自己快到30歲時又要為不熱愛的事業(yè)、不怎么樣的伴侶蓬推、一事無成的自己而感到焦慮和悔恨妆棒。
Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things, you need a plan and not quite enough time. Isn't that true? So what do you think happens when you pat a twenty something on the head and you say, "You have 10 extra years to start your life"? Nothing happens. You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition, and absolutely nothing happens. ? ? ? 雷昂納德·伯恩斯坦說過：要想取得成就，你需要一個計劃和緊迫的時間沸伏。這是大實話案馍骸！所以當你拍著一個20多歲的人的腦袋毅糟，跟他說红选，“你還有10年去開始你的生活”，你覺得這改變了什么姆另？什么都沒改變喇肋。你只是奪走了那個人的緊迫感和雄心壯志坟乾，絕對沒有改變什么。
And then every day, smart, interesting twenty somethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this: "I know my boyfriend's no good for me, but this relationship doesn't count. I'm just killing time." Or they say, "Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time I'm 30, I'll be fine." ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?然后每天蝶防，那些聰明有趣的20多歲的人就像你們和你們的兒子女兒一樣甚侣，走入我的辦公室開始說：“我知道我的男朋友對我不夠好，但是我們的關(guān)系不算數(shù)间学。我只是在消磨時光而已殷费。”或者說“每個人都告訴我只要能在30歲的時候開始我的事業(yè)菱鸥，這就足夠了宗兼□镉悖”
But then it starts to sound like this: "My 20s are almost over, and I have nothing to show for myself. I had a better résumé the day after I graduated from college." And then it starts to sound like this: "Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs. Everybody was running around and having fun, but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 然后變成：“我馬上就要三十了氮采，卻根本就沒有東西展示。我在大學(xué)畢業(yè)時的簡歷都好過現(xiàn)在染苛∪的”或是這樣：“我20多歲時的約會就像找凳子。每個人都繞著凳子跑茶行，隨便玩一玩躯概，但是快30的時候就像音樂停止了，所有人開始坐下畔师。
I didn't want to be the only one left standing up, so sometimes I think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30." ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?我不想成為那唯一站著的人娶靡，所以有時候我會想我和我丈夫之所以會結(jié)婚，是因為在我30歲的時候看锉，他是當時離我最近的那張凳子姿锭。
這一段給我的印象尤為深刻，多么可悲的搶椅子游戲啊伯铣，然而有太多人的人生就是如此呻此。尤其是女孩子，30歲就會被叫作剩女腔寡，迫于輿論壓力焚鲜、家人的“關(guān)心”和自己的焦慮，多少人就選擇了將就放前，選擇了一個不怎么喜歡但是離自己最近的人忿磅。
Meg Jay的建議：
1、去獲得一些身份認定的資本凭语，去做一些增加自己價值的事葱她，為自己下一步想成為的樣子做一些投資，不要為了拖沓時間做無謂的探索叽粹；
2览效、不要局限于自己的朋友圈却舀，新的事情往往來自于所謂的弱連接；
3锤灿、經(jīng)營婚姻的最佳時間在你還沒結(jié)婚之前挽拔，選擇伴侶要像選擇工作一樣積極、謹慎但校，你可以選擇你的家庭螃诅。
20歲光陰不再來，何時開始都不算晚状囱，你的人生由你決定术裸。
