上最后一節(jié)課的時候,J在酒吧里和朋友慶生赖舟。酒吧的嘈雜從耳麥里傳過來蓬戚,我苦笑著問他,“Are you sure you still want to take this class?”(你確定還要上這節(jié)課嗎宾抓?)不知道是不是喝了酒的原因子漩,他的聲音比平時歡快很多,“Sure, nothing can stop my passion for English!”(當(dāng)然石洗,沒有任何事可以阻擋我學(xué)習(xí)英語的熱情幢泼。)接著上節(jié)課的話題,我問他上一次寫作是什么時候讲衫。他說是今年七月缕棵,那時候他剛和前女友分手〗谷耍回想起來,那時他上課的確不太有精神重父』ㄍ郑“Are you alright? Was it helpful for you to move on? I mean the writing.”(你還好嗎?它讓你釋懷了嗎房午?我指寫作矿辽。)我試探地問到。“I’m okay now. Yeah, the writing did help me a lot. But I decide to kind of stop writing.”(我沒事袋倔。寫作確實幫了我很多雕蔽。但是我決定以后盡量不寫了。)他的語氣聽起來像是在談?wù)撘患⒉蛔愕赖氖卤瞿龋伤麍猿謱懽饕呀?jīng)七年批狐。
我難掩震驚,“Are you sure? But why?”(你確實嗎前塔?但是為什么呀嚣艇?)“I love writing, but I suddenly realize it makes me get stuck somehow. I just want to be more realistic.”(我熱愛寫作,但我突然發(fā)現(xiàn)寫作讓我的人生卡住了华弓。我想現(xiàn)實一些食零。)我還是不放心他,“How do you feel about your decision? I mean is it your own choice, or you’re pushed by some external factors?”(這個決定你是怎么想的寂屏?我的意思是這是你自己的選擇贰谣,還是因為外在原因的不得已?)他不語先笑迁霎,然后說吱抚,“Actually, when I made the decision, I felt quite relieved. In fact, years ago I already knew this day would come, so over these years, I just try to get ready.”(其實,當(dāng)我決定的時候欧引,突然感覺如釋重負(fù)频伤。事實上,幾年前我已經(jīng)知道這一天會來芝此,所以這些年只是在努力做好準(zhǔn)備而已憋肖。)“You mean becoming a realist?”(你指的是成為一個現(xiàn)實主義者?)我問他婚苹。在他說是之后岸更,我急切地又問,“But is there any part of your idealism left?”(你給自己留下了一部分曾經(jīng)的理想主義嗎膊升?)他笑著答到怎炊,“Of course. Just as I told you before, my faith. I still have faith with me. I still believe no matter how hard life is, there is always a way out.”(當(dāng)然。就像我之前和你說過的廓译,我的信念评肆。我的信念一直都在。我仍然相信非区,不管人生多苦瓜挽,總會有出路。)我也笑了征绸,“So you’re now an idealistic realist.”(所以你現(xiàn)在是有理想情懷的現(xiàn)實主義者久橙。)
確實俄占,也只有這樣的人會在深夜喧囂的酒吧里,用手機上完最后一節(jié)在線英語課淆衷。
C第一次上我的課是在出差的路上缸榄,深夜,他獨自開著車祝拯。因為擔(dān)心他的安全甚带,我邊上課邊不斷地提醒他看路。上完一節(jié)課鹿驼,他到了目的地欲低,我累得夠嗆。后來上課畜晰,他也總是要么在出差的路上要么在出差的地方砾莱。我很好奇這樣一周至少有半周在路上的工作,他不會覺得累嗎凄鼻?他說每次幫客戶解決了問題都會覺得特別有成就感腊瑟,所有途中的顛簸與疲憊也就覺得不算什么了。后來有一次他和我講起工作中復(fù)雜的人際問題块蚌。我在想闰非,他這樣理想至上的人,面對這些問題會很難吧峭范。他說财松,剛工作的那幾年,他確實因此吃了不少虧纱控。后來學(xué)乖了辆毡,開始學(xué)著平衡現(xiàn)實和理想。我問他甜害,“Have you changed a lot to be more realistic?”(變得現(xiàn)實的過程中舶掖,有改變很多嗎?)他想了想說尔店,“Maybe not that much. You see, I’ve been in this industry for many years and I’ve built trust with my colleagues and my clients. They know what kind person I am. So I think I’m both realistic and idealistic.”(或許并沒有眨攘。你知道的,我做這一行已經(jīng)很多年了嚣州,和同事鲫售、客戶之間已經(jīng)很熟。他們了解我的為人该肴。所以我可以既現(xiàn)實又理想主義情竹。)我笑著說,“An idealistic realist.”
上課不到十分鐘沙庐,S突然對我說鲤妥,“You know what, I really like you.”(我覺得我很喜歡你。)S是那種酷酷的女生拱雏,第一次上課就被她突然“表白”棉安,我看到屏幕里我的臉紅得可以在街頭當(dāng)交通燈。上課過程中铸抑,好幾次她在尋思合適的詞去表達(dá)自己的想法贡耽,換了幾個詞都覺得不是自己相要說的意思,然后我說鹊汛,“I think you mean you worry too much instead of getting anxious or upset easily.”(我覺得你的意思是你太容易擔(dān)心而不是容易焦慮或不安蒲赂。)她震驚地看著我,“You actually know about me. How could this happen?”(你竟然懂我刁憋。這太不可思議了吧滥嘴。)
之后,她和我講起一段痛苦的分手經(jīng)歷至耻。我問她若皱,“Are you alright now?”(你現(xiàn)在好了嗎?)她笑著說尘颓,“It’s a hard time, but I think I’m already over him.”(那個時候真的很難走触,但我覺得現(xiàn)在我已經(jīng)釋懷了。)“When looking back, can you still feel the pains?”(回想那段時間疤苹,你還能感覺到當(dāng)時的那種痛苦嗎互广?)S在回答每個問題前都會認(rèn)真地思考幾秒,我喜歡她這份認(rèn)真卧土。她說惫皱,“Yes, I do. But it’s different, two different pains. When it happened, I felt painful because he left me, it hurt me deeply. But now looking back, I feel painful because I realize I didn’t take care of the old me. You know, because at that time, I had been neglecting myself too long, and I let myself suffer too much.”(是的,我還是會痛夸溶。但會不同逸吵,是兩種不一樣的痛。當(dāng)時缝裁,我的痛苦是因為對方離開了我扫皱,讓我感覺很受傷。但是捷绑,現(xiàn)在回望那段時間韩脑,我仍然感覺痛是因為我意識到我沒有好好照顧當(dāng)時的自己。你知道嗎粹污?當(dāng)時的我已經(jīng)忽視自己太久段多,所以才會讓自己受了那么多折磨。)我看著她壮吩,輕聲說到进苍,“I’m so sorry you had to go through all those.”(抱歉加缘,你經(jīng)歷了那些事。)她笑了笑觉啊,說到拣宏,“It’s a lesson I should learn. Without it, I may still don’t know how to care about and love myself.”(這是我必須學(xué)的一課。如果不是那次經(jīng)歷杠人,很可能我到現(xiàn)在都學(xué)不會照顧自己和愛自己勋乾。)我也笑了,“That’s why I can feel you’re quite easy with yourself.”(或許這就是為什么你給人自洽的感覺嗡善。)
V幾乎每天都會上課辑莫,所以我全程看著她求職途中的曲折和起落。每次上課我都會問她求職進(jìn)展罩引,剛開始的時候各吨,事情并不順利。于是袁铐,我會把上課的內(nèi)容臨時換成和她求職相關(guān)的話題绅你,然后一起分析情況。V是個樂觀的女生昭躺,有很多的理想和目標(biāo)忌锯,但也有年輕人因外界壓力而背負(fù)上的焦慮。求職開始有了進(jìn)展后领炫,V突然問我畢業(yè)后的打算偶垮。我說,“I haven’t thought that far, but I may just want a simple life and do something I like, like translation.”(我沒想那么遠(yuǎn)帝洪,不過我可能只想過很簡單的生活吧似舵,做一些自己喜歡的事,像翻譯之類的葱峡。)V顯然沒有料到我的答案砚哗,哦了一聲之后,就不知道該說什么了砰奕。我明白V對我的答案的“失望”蛛芥。我也曾和她一樣,對未來對夢想有很多的渴望和執(zhí)著军援,如果幾年前的我聽到我現(xiàn)在這個回答也一定和V一樣的反應(yīng)仅淑。
我對V說,“Not as you expected, right? I like to see you always being enthusiastic and ambitious. But for me, I’ve been trying so hard for years, and I’m exhausted. I think it’s time for me to have a life.”(不是你期待的答案胸哥,對嗎涯竟?我喜歡你身上那種為夢想努力的沖勁。只是,我已經(jīng)卯著勁努力了很多年庐船,現(xiàn)在身心俱疲银酬。我想是時候給自己一個簡單的生活了。)她想了想筐钟,說到捡硅,“I understand. We have different things to do at different life stage.”(我理解。不同的人生階段盗棵,我們需要去做不一樣的事。)
因為不斷地遇見北发,因為用心地傾聽纹因,因為想要了解的心意,所以看到了不一樣的人生琳拨,聽到了不一樣的故事瞭恰,感受到了不一樣的人心。他們教我去理解狱庇,去用心惊畏,去變得溫暖;也讓我在面對生活的時候密任,想要更有勇氣颜启。