Hello everyone, this is Helen Huang @ Organizing, based in Beijing, China. In order to better learn and practice the YiXiaoNeng Time Management System, after finished publishing 100 Chinese articles, I decided to continue writing and publishing a daily English article in another 100 days based on the "YeWuBin Time Management 100 Episodes" audio program. Today is the 197th day.
Today's topic is: Our Experiences Make Us Who We Are
Today, I would like share a very important idea with you. Everything that's happened to you in the past, good or bad, has made you who you are today and you should feel grateful for all of it.
In the previous lesson, I advised you that: we are the root of all things. When we realize that our life is the result of our own actions, we can live with online energy and emotions such as light, love, and joy. When another person is in an offline mentality, we will choose to act in an online matter. We will always respond to these negative emotions with the positive online mentality.
If we practice the online life all the time, then our strong connections – that is our parents, spouse, sister, brothers, business partners, will gravitate to us and become closer to us, and they will want to live in this beautiful world with us. You should strive to remain in an online emotional state for as long as you can.
When we start, you will find yourself in the offline mentality very often if not all the time. As you practice and change the way you see and think about the 10% of things that happen to you, you will gradually and slowly adjust the ratio, from 5:5 to 7:3. And finally, most of the time being online with emotion and energy. This process of adjusting to an online emotional state and altering your belief system is called "receiving".
If your belief system exhibits negative thoughts about something that happened to you, then you will be very uncomfortable and you may falter. You may revert to the offline and unstable mentality and you may respond negatively. You may hit the table with your hands or quarrel with the other person. - This is the offline emotional life.
But if you can deliberately and purposefully adjust your mood, you will return to the neutral line slowly, and you will forgive and accept what happened. Then your mood will switch to an online position.
Simply accepting what happened is not nearly enough. It's not enough. We have to think back on these events and reflect. What caused these things to happen? By seeking to understand the situation, we can solve this problem. As time goes by, it vanishes. You will never be able to change your reaction to it.
Most people fear the result of actions while Buddha fears the cause. Most of time, we are very uncomfortable about and cannot stand a bad ending. This is because, quite simply, we are humans. But Buddha teaches us to focus more on the causes of events not the reaction to it.
So, I suggest that we should begin by looking at the cause of events. Accept that things happen beyond our control, and seek to understand and learn from them.
Some people think that life is bitter, but the important part is that we learn from every negative event. It will help us grow. So I want to tell you, you have to try to appreciate and learn from every part of your life. Accepting is not enough. You will grow only after you know how to appreciate and learn from life's difficulties.
I actually think there is a more positive and proactive thing you can do. Accepting things that happen to us is difficult but necessary. Showing gratitude for the lessons and experiences is more difficult.
In fact, feeling grateful is not enough. You should also be very ashamed of the cause. This is why Buddha fears the cause. Why does this happen? It's because it's such a challenge to be in control. A problem occurs, then you view the problem from your own perspective and based on the idea that you are the root of everything. Then you wish for changes in so many areas of your life such as living a better life, changing others, and so on. Yet, despite all of this you find yourself unable to change. You then feel ashamed when you don't succeed.
I often have this state of mind - the state of being ashamed not being able to accomplish what I setup to do. I often teach students and friends how to manage themselves, manage their emotions, and yet despite this, there are times that I cannot make it myself. I can't control my own emotions these times. So when one thing happens, I would then feel ashamed. Shame is a very strong offline emotion.
What can you do if you want to gain more energy or a more positive emotional state? You have to have a compassionate heart. "Kindness" means making people feel happy. "Empathy" means understanding the suffering of others, to help bring others away from their sad thoughts.
Remember, everything that happens to us makes us who we are. Appreciate that and use the new opportunities as ways to demonstrate your mastery of your own emotions. We need to reflect on each occurrence and obtain wisdom. So maybe it's hard for you to accept certain things in your life today, but you will eventually accept it through training.
It's not enough to accept it though. You have to enjoy it, feel grateful, or even be ashamed of it. So you will be motivated to change. You have to think "Why did it happen?" Then, you will grow, you will mature and you will build character off of it. If you can reflect on everything from the idea and from the perspective that "I am the root of all things", I believe that opportunities will open up in your life.
As time passes, both good things and bad things will disappear in a cloud of smoke, and what remains after the smoke clears will be the wisdom you have gained for life.
That's all sharing today. Thank you being with me together. Have a wonderful day!
