Now, the evening of November 21, 2018, I'm writing a plan for the next three months.

Cause

Yesterday is my thirtieth day working here. Me, PM (Product Manager) and Ming (my coach) had a short meeting about my growth plan. I thought they would list me a plan, but actually they want me to do it. Clearly I didn't make any prepare for that, so our communication is poor.

As PM asked to make a plan and give him the plan in next week, I'd better write it now in case I forget this homework. And I indeed felt it's time to make a summary or plan.

Dreams & Status quo

Before I can make a plan, I have to know what my weaknesses are, and what I want to get most.

This might be a easy question with a clear answer when I was at school or at the period I have no work. Yes, the answer is a job, but essentially, is money, a lot of money. Had I ever get great dreams? And yes too, I want to be unique, I want freedom and I swore I will not let the money become a obstacle anymore while I'm seeking for my free will. And I was so proud there are extraordinary goals in my mind.

But you know what? Life is never going to be easy, and while you are trying so hard to make a living, things have changed already.

Now, I want to become more like the people on my team. Comparing to them, I don't have good technique, I can't communicate well with others and I'm poor at English... and my only one superiority is age.

My plan

They told me the plan could contains anything I want to improve. Technique, language even communication is acceptable.

In the first place, Obviously, I want to improve my technique. As is hard to measure the technique level of people, I'd better use familiarity with the code as a criterion. Then I decide, I'm going to be able to explain every line of the back-end codes in three weeks. I realized today that I'm just a intern with lowest pay, so correspondingly, I don't have do so much work like others and they didn't expect me to do these work. The focus of my work just is learn.

Since I work in a foreign company, is much more important to learn English well. Foreigners often pass by the office, and almost everyone in my office can talk to them without any problem. I can't tell how good my English can be when I leave, but I have to remember 3 thousand more words in two months. This might be easy with help of App.

The hardest goal, and I'd like to call it a project, is to improve my social skills thoroughly. As it's a broad topic, actually I have no ideas what to do. But I wish you know, that a man's character was determined by what he experienced. Do you think I'm really the person you think I am? Or do you think I'm really want to be a person like this? I can't tell how painful my heart is that everytime I try to say something living things up but bad memories gushed into my mind. So as time goes by, I found it's seem that I just can't talk anymore. Maybe a person like me don't deserve happy. But I admit that I still want it, I just can't catch it, cause the heart is so heavy. And I promise that I will keep trying to find the happy belong to me.

Afterword

Things are never work out as expected, I don't know why I said so much thing beside the topic, so weird. And I think it's probably nobody will really read it, right?