Today, I kissed the guy I like. That would've been great, if his breath hadn't smelled/tasted like he'd chewed dog shit that'd been let sizzle in the sun. FML
懷著激動(dòng)的心情親了我的男神难审，現(xiàn)在的我惡心的要死债查，總有一股吃了一口曬干的狗屎的味兒毁嗦。???FML
Today, I tutored a kid for two hours, for $25 an hour. When it came time for them to pay, my mother told the kid's parents that they could give me ten bucks for the whole thing. She does this a lot. FML
我出去做家教省艳，談好的價(jià)錢是25美金每小時(shí)娘纷，完了以后要收錢了，我媽跟人家說只要給10塊就行跋炕，已經(jīng)不是第一次了赖晶。FML
Today, I was buying veggies with my five-year-old. She saw some brussel sprouts and begged me to buy them. I thought there was no way she'd like them, but I do, so I got them. Later, she was sitting on the couch eating them raw like candy. I have a weird kid. FML
有人會(huì)喜歡生吃包菜么（甘藍(lán)）？今天帶我女兒去菜場(chǎng)買菜辐烂，中間看到賣甘藍(lán)（包菜）的遏插，結(jié)果我女兒就一直讓我買，一直以來我女兒就不愛吃包菜纠修，但是我還比較喜歡所以就買了兩個(gè)胳嘲，結(jié)果回到家，我女兒抱著生甘藍(lán)直接開始啃扣草，這特么的確定不是一只兔子了牛？FML
Today, a child complimented me by telling me that I look like a potato. The good kind of potato. FML
今天被一個(gè)孩子夸獎(jiǎng)?wù)f我長(zhǎng)得像個(gè)土豆颜屠，好土豆。FML
Today, my principal observed me teach my high school social studies class. At the end of the period, he told me, "Your zipper was open the entire time. I wonder if the students noticed that your underwear matched the buildup of dandruff on your shoulder." FML
樓主高中教師鹰祸，今天校長(zhǎng)來我的班聽課甫窟，下課的時(shí)候，跟我講了兩件事情蛙婴，一件壞事一件好事粗井，壞事是我的褲子的拉鏈沒拉，好事兒是我的頭皮屑跟我的衣服顏色很搭街图。FML
Today, I added my boss to the "ew" list on Skype. I then realized it sends her a notification. FML
英國(guó)人和美國(guó)人叫惡心ew浇衬，員工都喜歡給自己的老板打一些比較不好的標(biāo)簽，比如傻逼之類的台夺，今兒上班呢径玖，我在自己的skype上面新建了一個(gè)群“垃圾”，然后把我們老板給拖進(jìn)去了颤介。梳星，問題是我拖進(jìn)去的一剎那突然想起來個(gè)問題，skype這個(gè)傻叉會(huì)給我老板發(fā)提醒的滚朵。冤灾。。明天我是不是用來上班了辕近？FML
