Reading Journal - The Subtle Art of Not Giving? a F*ck
20180121-22 Chapter 4 The Value of Suffering
-Q & A-
1. Use three sentences to describe Onoda’s story.
001 It’s his loyalty to his country that enabled him to endure the miserable suffering in the jungle.
002 It’s because of our different values from his that what he did might seems rediculous and meaningless to us.
003 But his value, which once glorified his life, also brought him suffering after returning to his motherland.
2. What can we learn from the Rock Star Problems?
Our values determine the metrics by which we measure ourselves and our lives. With bad values, we easily label ourselves as failures when life doesn’t go as we expected.
3. Can you name some values that you hold dear?
001 Pleasure. I used to think pleasure is what I should persue, but now I realize the fact that it’s just one of the side effects of true happiness. And it’s rather uncontrollable and perishable so that perusing it is kind of meaningless.
002 Staying positive always makes me feel happy and superior to others so that sometimes I push myself so hard to look at the sunny side of life, which means avoid negative feelings.
4. Do you have any good/bad values stated in the book? How those values affect your life?
001 Honesty.
002 Vulnerability. ( I’m not sure if “vulnerability” in this book means to show your vulnerability to others.)
003 Honesty brings me inner pride and showing vulnerability enable others be willing to help me so that I won’t feel loneny when I’m in blue.
-Take-away Message-
001 對(duì)待情緒，我們要首先識(shí)別出自己的情緒是什么，繼而找出導(dǎo)致這種情緒的直接原因拍皮，最重要的是尝偎，分析根本原因（通常是我們的values和metrics）听诸。這個(gè)原因可能是某個(gè)我們平時(shí)不愿意承認(rèn)的現(xiàn)實(shí)瑟由，但只有認(rèn)清現(xiàn)實(shí)奸笤，才有可能改變我們的情緒反應(yīng)伟恶。要知道碴开，情緒本身，無(wú)論正面與否博秫，都只是我們的價(jià)值觀和判斷標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的外在表現(xiàn)潦牛。想起一句話，“除了我們身體上的痛苦是真正的痛苦台盯，其他的都是我們的價(jià)值觀帶給我們的罢绽。”
002 作者這種對(duì)待情緒的態(tài)度静盅，和《非暴力溝通》中所強(qiáng)調(diào)的一樣良价，要先識(shí)別情緒才能解決。但兩位作者都同時(shí)提到蒿叠，很多人其實(shí)無(wú)法精準(zhǔn)地識(shí)別自己的情緒明垢，也就很難分析出我們有這種情緒反應(yīng)的真實(shí)原因。對(duì)此市咽，《非暴力溝通》一書(shū)的作者為我們羅列了以下表示情緒的詞匯（在火車上條件有限痊银，用手機(jī)截的圖，回去之后再找機(jī)會(huì)整理成文字）：
-Words & Expressions-
001 hit
原句:“But by the time the bus hit L.A., the guitarist had gotten over his self-pity and had vowed to start a new band.”
釋義：to arrive at a place 【非正式】 到達(dá)〔某地〕
造句：I will contact you as soon as I hit town.
002 bug （熟詞生義）（informal）
原句:“Take a moment and think of something that’s really bugging you.”
釋義：v. to annoy someone? 打擾施绎；激怒溯革；使厭煩
造句：That what I hold dear all the time turned out to be ridiculous really bugs me.
003 out of whack
原句:“If what we value is unhelpful, if what we consider success/failure is poorly chosen, then everything based upon those values—the thoughts, the emotions, the day-to-day feelings—will all be out of whack.”
釋義：If a system, machine etc is out of whack, the parts are not working together correctly.
004 showpiece
原句:“Onoda tried to use his sudden celebrity to espouse the values of Old Japan, but he was tone-deaf to this new society. He was seen more as a showpiece than as a serious cultural thinker—a Japanese man who had emerged from a time capsule for all to marvel at, like a relic in a museum.”
釋義：something that an organization, government etc wants people to see, because it is a very good or successful example 成功的典范，樣板
造句：Trying to be showpiece is sometimes rather exasperating.
005 espouse (formal)
原句:“Onoda tried to use his sudden celebrity to espouse the values of Old Japan, but he was tone-deaf to this new society. He was seen more as a showpiece than as a serious cultural thinker—a Japanese man who had emerged from a time capsule for all to marvel at, like a relic in a museum.”
釋義：to support an idea, belief etc, especially a political one 支持谷醉，擁護(hù)〔某觀點(diǎn)﹑信仰等致稀，尤指政治主張〕
造句：It necessary to espouse these values if you want to join our party.
