研究表明,對(duì)于大多數(shù)女性來說, 人生真正的開始是在四五十歲的時(shí)候.

?Studies?show that for most women, life really does begin at 40…or 50

這兩個(gè)中年女人已經(jīng)是數(shù)十年的好朋友了层扶。她們坐在匹茲堡的一家小咖啡館里耗跛，談?wù)撝齻兩钪兴l(fā)生的變化淮腾。琳達(dá)·嘉米森正在試圖做一名紐約的演奏家准潭，她的朋友帕姆·福斯特是一位54歲的牧師墨技，剛剛接受了一份在維吉尼亞的新教區(qū)的工作睹耐《凼“我記得自己曾經(jīng)坐在教堂里括享，看著牧師對(duì)自己說，‘如果我是個(gè)男孩子的話珍促，這就是我長大以后想要做的工作铃辖，’”福斯特說。她是在43歲那年被正式任命為牧師的猪叙，之前則一直是家庭主婦娇斩。“現(xiàn)在我早上在起床之后就有機(jī)會(huì)做回我自己穴翩，而可以一整天都做自己喜歡做的事犬第。多幸運(yùn)啊藏否！”

he two middle-aged women, good friends for decades, sat in a café in Pittsburgh, talking about the turns their lives had taken. Lynda Jamison was transforming herself into a New York performer; her friend Pam Foster, an Episcopal priest of 54, had accepted a call to a new parish in Virginia. “I remember sitting in church, looking at the minister and saying to myself, “If I were a boy, that is what I would want to do when I grow up, “says Foster, who raised a family before beingordained at 43. “Now I get up in the morning and I have a chance to be who I really am and do what I love doing all day long. Howblessed!”

詞語“中年危機(jī)”是由心理分析學(xué)者艾略特·賈克斯在1965年提出的瓶殃，并由作家高·斯合在她的1976年的著作“人生旅途 ”中發(fā)揚(yáng)光大。它使人們想起一些中年男子的形象副签，他們拋棄妻子和家產(chǎn)遥椿，支追求年輕貌美的女子，而那些中年主婦卻呆在廢品舊貨棧中哭泣淆储，日漸衰老冠场。但是，對(duì)于大多數(shù)的美國婦女來說本砰，甚至對(duì)于男人碴裙，這種觀念早就已經(jīng)過時(shí)了。心理學(xué)家沃勒瑞·米切爾和拉文納·哈爾森對(duì)700個(gè)年齡介于20歲至80歲進(jìn)行了調(diào)查点额，發(fā)現(xiàn)50多歲的婦女比其他年齡群體的婦女更愿意用“一流”這個(gè)詞來形容她們的生活舔株。她們的收入更高，孩子更加獨(dú)立而且她們的友誼也比生命中其他的任何時(shí)候都來得讓人滿意还棱。

The term “midlife crisis,” coined bypsychoanalystElliott Jaques in 1965 and popularized by writer Gall Sheehy in her 1976 Passages, conjures up images of middle-aged men trading in their wives and station wagons for sportier models while middle-age matrons weep and rust in the junkyard. But for most American women, —and men—thatstereotypeis out of date. Studying 700 college graduates ranging in age from their twenties to their eighties, psychologists Valory Mitchell and Ravenna Helson discovered that women in their fifties are actually more likely than any other age group to describe their lives as “first rate”[ 1 ]. Their incomes are higher, their children more independent and their friendships more satisfying than at any other time of life.

這個(gè)自力更生的社會(huì)群體曾認(rèn)為大概在十年左右的時(shí)間里载慈，男性與女性經(jīng)歷相同的人生歷程，解決難題然后繼續(xù)前行珍手。這通常是指人們結(jié)婚办铡，生子和老年退休這些階段辞做。但是，社會(huì)提供給女性的機(jī)會(huì)卻大大增加了寡具。生活也不再是一成不變的秤茅，因此也無法預(yù)見。一個(gè)50歲的女人可能是一個(gè)幼稚園孩子的媽媽童叠，或是面臨退休的首席執(zhí)政官框喳，或是兼具這兩種身份。心理學(xué)家所談?wù)摰奈C(jī)不是由年齡造成的而是因事件所引起的拯钻，包括疾病帖努，死亡和不期而至的失落感。他們現(xiàn)在認(rèn)為女性如何面對(duì)中年和她們?nèi)绾螒?yīng)對(duì)任何改變是一致的粪般。悲觀主義者會(huì)說中年意味著一半的人生已不復(fù)存在，而由于如今預(yù)期壽命的增加污桦，樂觀主義者還有一半的人生行將開始亩歹。

The self-help community oncemaintained that with each decade or so, men and women went through another passage, resolved it and moved on. That was when people used to get hitched, have kids and retire in orderly stages. But opportunities for women have multiplied; patterns are no longer sopredictable.[ 2 ]A woman of 50 may be the mother of a kindergartner or aCEOfacing retirement — or both. Psychologists talk not about crises caused by stages but about those caused by events — the diseases, deaths and disappointments that come to everyone at every time of life. And they now believe that how a woman meets midlife isconsistentwith the way she meets any change. Apessimistmay feel tat life is half over; anoptimist, with today’s extended life expectancy, that there’s half left to live.

隨著對(duì)中年危機(jī)這一概念的研究的透視，研究人員開始把著眼點(diǎn)放在做出從青年到老年的優(yōu)雅的轉(zhuǎn)變上凡橱。麥克阿瑟研究基地從事成功中年發(fā)展計(jì)劃的卡羅爾里夫認(rèn)為所謂幸福的狀態(tài)應(yīng)具備六大要素小作，包括獨(dú)立，應(yīng)對(duì)復(fù)雜需求的能力稼钩，成長感顾稀，良好的社會(huì)關(guān)系，使生活充滿意義的目標(biāo)坝撑，以及接受自我和過去静秆。這是處于任何年齡段的任何人的幸福秘方，而對(duì)女性而言巡李，這幾方面在中年階段似乎有更充分的體現(xiàn)抚笔。為什么呢？該基地的主任奧威爾吉爾伯特布里姆認(rèn)為中年女性“與孩提時(shí)代和老年期相比侨拦，能較少地受生物鐘的驅(qū)使殊橙。”

With studies puncturing the notion of a crisis in midlife, researchers have begun tofocus on how people make a graceful transition from youth to old age.[ 3 ]Carol Ryff, of the MacArthur Foundation Research Network on Successful Midlife Development, has defined well being as the presence of six qualities; independence, the ability to cope with complex demands, a feeling of growth as a person, good relationships, goals that give life meaning, and an acceptance of the self and the past. This is arecipefor happiness for anyone at any age, but for women theingredients appear to be most readily available during middle age.[ 4 ]Why? In midlife, says Network director Orville Gilbert Brim, a woman “is less driven by a biological clock than in childhood and old age.” The ticking has stopped.

“中年女性”通常只是絕經(jīng)的代名詞狱从。對(duì)于一個(gè)嬰兒潮代人的母親來說膨蛮，這個(gè)詞是難以啟齒的。她通常小聲地把它說成“生活的改變”季研。而她的醫(yī)生和丈夫則會(huì)把所有的病癥和絕經(jīng)聯(lián)系起來敞葛。社會(huì)心理學(xué)家卡羅爾達(dá)夫里斯講述了她母親在20世紀(jì)50年代的經(jīng)歷。醫(yī)生問“您有易怒训貌，緊張制肮，沮喪冒窍，感到壓力大和對(duì)別人充滿敵意的時(shí)候嗎？有頭痛背痛冒冷汗或潮熱的時(shí)候嗎豺鼻？”“不综液，沒有”，她的母親說儒飒，“不過是有一次在電影院里打了個(gè)寒戰(zhàn)谬莹。”于是醫(yī)生安慰她說桩了，“那就照這處方配藥吧附帽，會(huì)管用的【”

“Women in midlife” is often just code formenopause. For the baby boomer’s mother, the very word was unmentionable. She whispered of “the change of life.” Her doctor and therapist and husband were quick toascribeall ills to her “condition.” Social psychologist Carol Tavris reports her mother’s experience in the 1950s. “Do you feelirritable, tense, depressed, nervous and hostile?” asked the doctor. “Do you have headaches, backaches, cold sweats or hot flashes?” No, she said, but “I did have a chill in a movie theater once.” “Here,” said the physician soothingly “have this prescription filled. It will help.”

那個(gè)年代的許多女性都對(duì)男性對(duì)于“女人的麻煩”的反應(yīng)感到困惑蕉扮。“絕經(jīng)并不是什么需要治療的急病”颗圣，達(dá)夫里斯說喳钟，“對(duì)大多數(shù)女性而言，中年不僅僅是最幸福的時(shí)光在岂，也是最健康的時(shí)候奔则。”權(quán)威調(diào)查表明蔽午，只有極少數(shù)的婦女有較強(qiáng)烈的身體反應(yīng)易茬，而有因絕經(jīng)引發(fā)的情緒問題的就更少了。新英格蘭研究學(xué)院的約翰和索尼亞麥克金雷一直對(duì)數(shù)以千計(jì)的更年期婦女進(jìn)行觀察及老。她們中的大多數(shù)人都平和或積極地看待這段經(jīng)歷-----她們不再擔(dān)心經(jīng)期或被受孕抽莱，只有3℅的人認(rèn)為這令她們感到遺憾。

Many women of that era were bemused by the male medical establishment’s response to “female troubles.”[ 5 ]“Menopause is not a medical emergency, a clinical disorder, a disease to be cured, “Tavris says. “For most women, the midlife years are not only the happiest, they’re the healthiest.” According to most authorities, only about percent of all women have severe physical reactions, and even fewer have emotional problems caused bymenopause. John and Sonja mcKinlay of the New England Research Institutes have been following several thousand midlife women throughmenopause. The majority view the experience either neutrally or positively — they no longer worry about periods orpregnancy; only 3 percent say they feel regretful.

作為在更年期遇到麻煩的少數(shù)人中的一個(gè)写半，杰米森說她停經(jīng)時(shí)的最深感受是如釋重負(fù)岸蜗。在長達(dá)七年的時(shí)間里，她一直是亂砸東西叠蝇，大哭一陣璃岳。“潮熱和心情的波動(dòng)----當(dāng)時(shí)情況真是糟透了”悔捶。她回憶說铃慷。她的醫(yī)生把這歸結(jié)為糖尿病。就在她來紐約之前蜕该，她經(jīng)受了癌癥的恐慌犁柜，計(jì)劃做子宮切除手術(shù)。由于她經(jīng)常鍛煉堂淡，因此身體狀況很好馋缅，手術(shù)后不久就恢復(fù)過來了扒腕。“多虧了沒有雌激素的作用萤悴，我就不用再受絕經(jīng)期的困擾”瘾腰，她說。

As a member of the minority who do have problems duringmenopause, Jamison says her most profound emotion was relief to have it over with.[ 6 ]During a seven-year stretch, she’d been throwing things and going on crying jags. “Hot flashes, mood swings — I was a mess, “she recalls. Her doctors blamed diabetes. Just before she opened in New York, she had a cancer scare and scheduled a hysterectomy. Thanks to her workouts, she was in great shape and bounced back from the operation.[ 7 ]Thanks to estrogen patches, she says, “Mom’s not having any more spaz attacks.”

更年期的不適應(yīng)可以通過手術(shù)解決覆履，或通過荷爾蒙療法得到改善蹋盆，但是，它仍然是青年期和老年期之間不可逾越的階段硝全。和男性不同栖雾，女性的中年階段有明顯的標(biāo)志，這是一個(gè)肯定自己是誰以及該何去何從的機(jī)會(huì)伟众。這是人生的一大改變析藕。時(shí)間正在流失，別再猶豫凳厢，舍棄你討厭的工作噪径，說出你的所思所想，找尋真愛数初。聽從你內(nèi)心深處的聲音行事。大門向你敞開著梗顺∨莺ⅲ“中年人有充足的自由”，福斯特說寺谤÷嘏福“你無須眷戀曾經(jīng)的過往，而是要把它融入現(xiàn)在的你变屁，向未來邁進(jìn)眼俊。”正如其言粟关，她和杰米森同兩千九百萬處在四五十歲的美國女性一樣疮胖，正收獲著成功的果實(shí)∶瓢澹“中年”澎灸，杰米森說，“是我所經(jīng)歷的人生中最美好的年華遮晚⌒哉眩”

Menopause may behastened by surgery or, for some, ameliorated by hormonetherapy, but it is still an unavoidable divide between youth and age. Unlike a man, who may confront his mortality late or never, a woman has a clear marker of midlife, an opportunity to affirm who she is and where she wants to go. This is the change of life. Time’s a-wasting; Chuck the job, speak your mind, find true love. Follow your heart. The door is open. “There is a lot of freedom in midlife,” says reverend Foster. “You have to let your past go,incorporateit into who you are now — and step into the future.” Having done just that, she and Jamison, like many of the 29 million American women in their forties and fifties, are reaping the rewards. “Midlife,” Jamison says, “is the best part of my life so far.”