耿直質(zhì)樸的美國人民告组，你們變了怠噪！這本一發(fā)行就viral瘋傳起來的奇書 “100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings: How to Get By Without Even Trying”（中文應(yīng)該翻譯成《100個開會裝逼小技能：混的自然才裝逼于無形》），深入淺出碌嘀、招招致命涣旨。小天精選了其中最厲害的大招，請大家一起仔細(xì)閱讀一遍股冗，同時自行腦補老板霹陡，哈哈哈簡直神了，條條都中的說的就是……噓，小天才不會吐槽自家老板呢（機(jī)智）烹棉。
話說回來攒霹，既然從美國到中國，老板們都在用浆洗，那么小天懷著深度學(xué)習(xí)的心情催束，仔細(xì)整理成了這份神奇的指南，指南分成四個部分：日掣ㄋ瑁基礎(chǔ)系列泣崩、電話會議系列和戲精學(xué)院加戲需謹(jǐn)慎系列。準(zhǔn)備好了嗎洛口？我們也一起學(xué)習(xí)起來吧矫付，年底升職加薪就靠它啦！
日车谘妫基礎(chǔ)系列
“Nod continuously while pretending to take notes”
用紙筆記筆記买优，并不時點頭
“Always bring a notepad with you. Your rejection of technology will be revered. Take notes by simply writing down one word from every sentence that you hear. Nod continuously while doing so.”
為什么一定是紙筆呢，這么說吧挺举，小天有幸參與過某BAT內(nèi)部高層會議杀赢，四個VP都在用紙質(zhì)的本子，還都是MOLESKINE牌子的湘纵！以為互聯(lián)網(wǎng)公司就是應(yīng)該無紙辦公的脂崔，你們too young too simple啦，你們猜Evernote印象筆記的高管開會用什么梧喷？還是MOLESKINE砌左！是MOLESKINE跟Evernote的合作限量款！
“Translate percentage metrics into fractions”
把百分比轉(zhuǎn)化成分?jǐn)?shù)形式铺敌，再說一遍
“If someone says, “About 25 percent of all users click on this button,” jump in with, “So about one in four,” and make a note of it. Everyone will nod their heads in agreement, secretly impressed and envious of your quick math skills.”
不要以為在電商打折活動汇歹，把每個人都訓(xùn)練成精于計算的數(shù)學(xué)家的中國，這招就不靈了偿凭。事實是产弹，這是展現(xiàn)你在深度思考的小妙招，別人會覺得你心里有一個別的更大的picture弯囊。這種搞法還有一個更狠的痰哨，我們放在電話會議系列再講。
Encourage everyone to “take a step back”
“大家冷靜一下匾嘱，我們從頭捋捋”
“There comes a point in most meetings where everyone is chiming in, except you. This is a great point to go, “Guys, guys, guys, can we take a step back here?” Everyone will turn their heads toward you, amazed at your ability to silence the fray.
開會總有人人都討論的熱火朝天作谭、只有你被left out的時候，這時就要咸魚翻身的來一句“大家冷靜一下奄毡，我們從頭捋捋”折欠，然后再跟一句“我們要解決的問題說到底究竟是什么？”，好啦锐秦，全場當(dāng)然你最有大局觀啦咪奖，enjoy。
Ask “Will this scale?” no matter what it is
追問“你這個模式能復(fù)制嗎酱床？”
“It’s important to find out whether things will scale no matter what it is you’re discussing. No one even really knows what that means, but it’s a good catchall question that generally applies and drives engineers nuts.”
你這個模式能復(fù)制嗎羊赵？成長性怎么樣？這真的是萬能金句扇谣，無論什么內(nèi)容昧捷、無論說給誰聽，都是一招制敵罐寨。每一個創(chuàng)業(yè)者如果沒有聽過2萬次靡挥，我都只能說你還不夠努力啊鸯绿！
Ask the presenter to go back a slide
“稍等跋破，我能再看一下上一頁PPT嗎？”
“Sorry, could you go back a slide?” They’re the seven words no presenter wants to hear. It doesn’t matter where in the presentation you shout this out; it’ll immediately make you look like you’re paying closer attention than everyone else is, because clearly they missed the thing that you’re about to brilliantly point out.
是不是說完立刻全場身份最高瓶蝴！如果看了上一頁卻沒什么想要補充的毒返？完全沒關(guān)系，你只需要盯著屏幕幾秒鐘舷手，然后從容的說“嗯拧簸，好的可以了∧锌撸”
電話會議系列
Ask if everyone’s here
問“是不是大家都在了盆赤？”
雖然看著像是廢話，但是你一秒就變成了會議host有沒有蝎宇？
Stop the meeting to pull up the data
中途停下會議，提醒大家打開excel表格看數(shù)據(jù)
就你最心懷天下啦祷安，等大家都乖乖打開excel啊PDF啊這些文件之后呢姥芥，你就 “OK, we can go ahead now,” then go back to reading sports or celebrity news。
Take the call using some “cutting-edge” technology
你有黑科技嗎汇鞭？有就曬出來
智能手表智能耳機(jī)凉唐，隨便什么智能的新玩具，趕緊用出來霍骄，每個團(tuán)隊都需要一個“有趣的靈魂”擔(dān)當(dāng)台囱，你就不要客氣啦。
When someone mentions a large number, put it in terms of a city or country
遇到大數(shù)字读整，立刻轉(zhuǎn)化成具像化的人口
“新季度要2500萬單的業(yè)績增長嗎簿训？也就是說全上海人人手一個嘍。”真的厲害死你啦强品，全場你最聰明膘侮。這就是關(guān)于數(shù)字，最大的招啊的榛。小天還貼心的給大家打個小抄：成都人口1600萬琼了，香港人口740萬，臺北市人口270萬夫晌，回龍觀常住人口50萬雕薪。
戲精學(xué)院加戲需謹(jǐn)慎系列
Say you’re just wrapping something up
做會議室的boss
“Get to the meeting early and start reading e-mail. When your coworker arrives, he’ll get the sense that he’s coming into your office. After greeting him warmly, say you’re just wrapping something up and ask him to wait a minute.
早點到會議室，然后開始看郵件晓淀，別的與會者進(jìn)來的時候呢所袁，就會產(chǎn)生他走進(jìn)了你的辦公室的錯覺，主場優(yōu)勢妥妥的要糊。你還可以日理萬機(jī)的說“就快好了”纲熏，會議室boss誕生！
Sit next to the person leading the meeting
挨著老板坐
“Sit next to the person leading the meeting. Act as if you are conferring with him about the agenda and backing him up at the appropriate times.
這個锄俄，呵呵局劲，原來美國戲精也是這么給自己加戲了啊。
Ask someone else to control the slides
請別人幫你給PPT翻頁
是不是特別自然奶赠、特別smooth的就當(dāng)上了你同事的上級鱼填！
“When someone asks for a business card, say you might have one left”
當(dāng)別人問你要名片的時候，說“哦毅戈，我可能還剩下一張”苹丸。
“Always make it seem like you might have just given your last business card away but then finally find one. ”
戲要上全套，還要摸口袋尋找這“最后一張名片”苇经，全場最紅就是你啦赘理。
“As the meeting is ending, ask a few people to hang back to talk about a separate issue”
會議結(jié)束時說，“某某某扇单，請留一下”
“When you ask one or two people to stay a few extra minutes, it makes the rest of the group wonder what you’ll be discussing, why they weren’t invited, and what top secret project you’ve got brewing up your sleeve.”
留下聊什么根本不重要商模，戲才重要，因為這會讓其他同事無限地羨慕嫉妒蜘澜。你們大可以留下聊聊晚上去哪喝一杯施流，或者誰有好牙醫(yī)介紹嗎。
好啦鄙信，從硅谷到華爾街瞪醋，全美國都在用的開會裝逼指南都在這啦，不知道你家老板中了幾個装诡？還意猶未盡想購買原版書籍的银受，這本書美國亞馬遜在售践盼，請支持正版圖書。不過小天也提醒你蚓土，裝逼需謹(jǐn)慎宏侍，出來混，遲早是要還噠蜀漆。雖說Karma is a bitch谅河，不過適度裝逼，也是職場必備技能确丢，愿大家都可以年底升職加薪绷耍，換房換車不換愛人哦。
