Option B by Sheryl Sandberg
為什么讀這本書擂错？
有太多理由要讀這本書了：我家女神Sheryl的書。Facing adversity是我最近非常關(guān)注的一個主題。fb的讀書俱樂部推薦等等挟裂。因為是英文版所以讀了超過一個月壁肋，完全打破了我每周一本書的計劃。這本書里有很多Sheryl的智慧女器，也有很多次讓我非常感動酸役。
我的三個得到：今天有四個 ：）
1. 理想情感狀態(tài)的文化差異
All over the world, there is cultural pressure to conceal negative emotions. In China and Japan, the ideal emotional state is calm and composed. In the United States, we like excitement(OMG!) and enthusiasm(LOL!).
這一段Sheryl是在講全世界的文化都試圖避免負面情緒，從而當不幸降臨在一個人身上時驾胆，他周圍的人也會試圖避免這個話題涣澡。但亞洲和美國文化這里的對比卻讓我豁然開朗。當美國同事問我“How are you”的時候丧诺，我能感受到他們對于“Excitement”的期待入桂，但我在多數(shù)時候會傾向于給出非常平靜的回答。
2. 當你想要開啟一段真正的心靈對話...
What worked best for me was when people said, "I'm here if you ever want to talk. Like now. Or later. Or in the middle of the night. Whatever would help you." Instead of making assumptions about whether or not someone wants to talk, it's best to offer an opening and see if they take it.
3. Growth mindset VS Fixed mindset
Children respond better to adversity when they have a growth mindset instead of a fixed one. A fixed mindset means viewing abilities as something we're either born with or not: "I'm a whiz at math but don't have the drama gene." When kids have a growth mindset, they see abilities as skills that can be learned and developed. They can work to improve. "I may not be a natural actor, but if I rehearse enough I can shine on the stage."
這一段讓我反思自己驳阎。過去我會給自己貼標簽說我不擅長數(shù)學和物理抗愁，把問題歸結(jié)于我沒有天賦，而忽略掉其實是我在這上投入的不夠多呵晚。我認為我們有可能天生的喜歡某些科目不喜歡另一些蜘腌，但這些不該成為你成功的阻礙，如果投入更多饵隙，即使沒有天賦撮珠，你也可以閃閃發(fā)光〗鹈“大多數(shù)人努力的程度芯急，還不到拼天賦的時候”。
4. 人們最大的后悔驶俊，是沒有去做娶耍，而并不是失敗
Of the hundreds of answers, most had one thing in common: the majority of regrets were about failures to act, not actions that failed. Psychologists have found that over time we usually regret the chances we missed, not the chances we took.
我覺得這是一本非常有啟示的書，Sheryl講述了在丈夫意外去世后大約一年的時間里她的旅程废睦，結(jié)合了許多研究數(shù)據(jù)伺绽，詳細記錄了喪偶待锈，以及更廣闊的問題--面對困境時的心理和應(yīng)對方法伤提。我會推薦給身處逆境的人們。我們都不希望意外發(fā)生，我們也都希望那個人還在麻车，我們希望一切順順利利胞得，但當不幸發(fā)生的時候慢洋，這是我們的option B.
