(2013年上海交大《雅思考官寫作(第二版)》第八章雅思官方寫作題庫215頁第3題)
I. Title
The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich richer, the poor even poorer. What problems can the situation cause and what are the solutions?
II. Revised edition
1. Introduction
A common prosperous global community is an ideal upheld by millions throughout history. Nevertheless due to unfair distribution of resources and opportunities the divide between the poor and the wealthy are getting wider and wider. In the following essay, I would like to discuss the impairments this fortune gap posing on the society and some feasible solutions to cope with this disturbing circumstances.
2. Main body #1
The ever rising gap between the poor and the rich would lead to a multitude of troubles to both the individuals and the society. As for the respective persons, the poor would have difficulties to feed themselves, raise their kids or pay for the medical bills; while the rich might squander their more than enough wealth and cause a huge waste of social resources. The recent news report about the death of the two pitiful seniors in the shabby abandoned shed of a shantytown in an industrial city in Bombay of western India is just a case in point. While the billionaires throwing thousands of dollars in just one seafood meal illustrate how wasteful the very rich leading their extremely extravagant and luxurious life. On top of that, the increasing gap between the rich and poor could also result in the deterioration of social conflicts and cause more social instability and the violation of laws. Recently the constant rise of crime rate in the high population density urban areas of many countries and regions like New York, Paris or Rio of Brazil with serious wealth divide issue provides convincing evidence for this stuff worldwide.
3. Main body #2
In order to deal with this problems, it makes sense that the government imposes higher taxes on those very rich people and then allocate the fund to aid the poor to make their ends meet, send their kids to school and buy their health insurance. Above all, the government should improve the general and vocational education quality for the urban paupers and provide them with a sort of green passage to move up the social ladder, to shuffle their fate and change their destiny. Meanwhile the down and out folks should also spare no effort to upgrade themselves and realize their potential by serving the society.
4. End
“Given that you are rich, please do not forget the poor buddy.” This is an old adage passed on to us younger generations from our ancestors in our traditional Chinese culture. To battle the demon of wealth gap all of the stockholders including the government, community, the very wealthy and the penniless should shoulder their corresponding responsibilities and join hands to achieve greater equality and blissful harmony.
III. Revision reflection
Revision work is just like a process to put a finishing touch to an artifact and dish out a sense of achievement to the craftsman. Therefore it is a job I enjoy doing. Today I correct a few slips of pen and replace some common expressions with more advanced ones such as “adage” for “proverb”; “extravagant” for “meaningless”. I also confirm the accuracy of some factual information and in this way broaden my mind and extend my horizon. Revision is a good form of learning which is absolutely true!