冰清 譯 冰清思語集

文章口述：Natasha Annie Tonthola

文章作者：Michael Wendling

文章來源：BBC

翻譯：冰清

In July the BBC wrote about a Malawian man paid to have sex with young girls from his village, as part of a sexual initiation ritual. Later a Malawian woman, Natasha Annie Tonthola, contacted the BBC to explain how her experience of the ritual helped inspire her to campaign for the protection of women and girls. This is her story.

2016年6月，BBC廣播公司報道了一則消息讳窟，一位馬拉維男士被出資聘請和當?shù)卮迓涞呐⒆影l(fā)生性行為撞反，以此作為性啟蒙儀式的一個重要部分虎敦。隨后屯换，一位名叫Natasha Annie Tonthola的女士聯(lián)系到BBC驻仅，講述了她親身經(jīng)歷的這場儀式如何啟發(fā)她參與了保護女人和女孩的運動乏奥。以下是她的故事摆舟。

I'm the oldest of five children and I grew up in a village in the central district of Malawi, near the capital, Lilongwe, and I was 13 years old when the initiation ceremony happened.

My father was from a village near Mulanje, in the south of the country, and I was sent there for the ceremony after my first period. You don't have a choice - it happens to every girl in the village

我出生在馬拉維首都利隆圭附近中心區(qū)的一個村落里。家中有5個孩子，我排行老大恨诱。13歲那年媳瞪，我接受了性啟蒙儀式。

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我的父親來自馬拉維南方一個就近姆蘭杰的村落照宝，在我月經(jīng)初潮后蛇受，我就被送到那個村落接受性啟蒙儀式，我沒有選擇厕鹃，因為每個女孩都無法幸免兢仰。

We were told that we were going to learn about womanhood, and to be honest I was excited. So was every other girl.

On the last day one of the female elders told us that we had reached the final part of the process. She said a hyena was coming to visit us. "Don't worry, I'm not talking about an animal," she said. "I'm talking about a man."

But we didn't actually know what a hyena is, or what he was going to do. They don't tell you he's going to have sex with you.

We each had a piece of cloth and we were told to put it on the floor. We were told that it was time to show that we knew how to treat a man, that we knew what to do for our future husbands. Then we were blindfolded.

當時，我們被告知要去學習怎樣成為一個女人剂碴，坦白的說把将，我和其他女孩子一樣，都非常高興汗茄。就在學習的最后一天秸弛，女長老們告訴我們課程已經(jīng)接近尾聲，接下來會有一個鬣狗來拜訪我們洪碳，“不要擔心递览，今天這個鬣狗不是動物，而是一個男人瞳腌〗柿澹”

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但是我們依舊無從知曉什么是“鬣狗”，或者他是來干什么的嫂侍，更無人會告訴我們儿捧，他就是被派來同我們發(fā)生性行為的。

我們每人分到一塊布挑宠，按照指示鋪在地上菲盾，然后女長老告訴我們現(xiàn)在是學習怎樣侍奉一個男人的時候了，也就是學習侍奉未來丈夫的時候各淀。最后懒鉴，我們被蒙上了眼睛。

You're not supposed to show you're scared, you're not supposed to show you don't know what's happening to you.

The man comes, and he tells you to lie down, you open your legs and he does what he does. We weren't allowed to know who the man was - only the elders know.

你無法表達你的恐懼碎浇，也無法知道接下來要發(fā)生什么樣的事情临谱。

然后，那個男人來到我們面前奴璃，讓我們躺下悉默，張開雙腿，沒有人能看得到那個人是誰苟穆，也不允許看到抄课，只有女長老知道唱星。

We were young girls, so we were tense, and this man would push our legs open. I found it painful. When he finished, I was relieved. The female elder came in and said, "Congratulations, you have finished the initiation ceremony, and you are a woman now."

我們都是一群黃花閨女，所以都很緊張剖膳，男人將我們的腿都分開魏颓。輪到我時，我感到了錐心的痛吱晒，直到他結束，我才被釋放沦童。然后仑濒，一位女長老來到我面前，說偷遗，“恭喜你墩瞳，你已完成了性啟蒙儀式，現(xiàn)在你正式成為一個女人了”氏豌。

Many girls think this is normal because we are in a way brainwashed, we think it is OK because it is tradition.

But the hyena didn't use protection and some of the girls got pregnant.

我們所有的女孩都被洗腦了喉酌，雖然都充滿恐懼但是卻認為這很正常，認為這就是在遵循傳統(tǒng)儀式泵喘。 “鬣狗”并沒有采取任何避孕措施泪电，有些女孩后來懷孕了。

When we got back home, we weren't allowed to chat or play with girls who hadn't already been through the ceremony. I wasn't allowed to tell my younger sister anything about it. Girls are entering puberty earlier, and getting their periods at a younger age, so now the ceremony is happening to girls as young as 10 or 11 years old.

完成儀式歸來纪铺，我們就被限制了活動相速，不能和還沒有進行性啟蒙儀式的女孩子玩，也不能向她們透露任何有關的事情鲜锚。如今突诬，女孩子進入青春期越來越早，月經(jīng)初潮也越來越早芜繁， 基本都在１０歲或１１歲就接受了性啟蒙儀式旺隙。

After the ceremony my life took a turn for the worse. My father, who was a policeman, died the following year.

The tradition of "wife inheritance" says that the brother of a man who dies should marry the widow, to provide for the family, but my mother refused to follow this custom.。

在性啟蒙儀式之后骏令，我的生活變得越來越糟蔬捷。以警察為職的父親，在次年去世伏社。

按照“夫兄弟婚”的傳統(tǒng)抠刺，身為寡婦的母親應該嫁給父兄，但是母親沒有遵循這一傳統(tǒng)摘昌。

Instead, we moved to South Africa, as my mother is half South African and my uncle invited us there to make a fresh start. We both took jobs to make ends meet - I lied about my age and got jobs in a salon and a kitchen. I also worked as a housekeeper. But despite working hard, we didn't have enough money to pay my school fees or to support our family.

Then, through my relatives back in Malawi, I found out that there was a man who was willing to pay my school fees as long as I agreed to marry him. I was about to turn 16, and I didn't want to get married so young. My mother didn't want me to either. But I was desperate to finish my education, and worried about my siblings and my mother, who was working so hard it was affecting her health. So I said yes and we all moved back to Malawi.

相反速妖，我們舉家遷到了南非变过，因為母親是半個南非人而芥，舅舅也極力邀請我們，希望我們在南非開始新的生活高帖。我和母親開始做苦工，為了找工作我隱瞞了真實年齡锦秒，先后在沙龍店打雜露泊，在后廚做洗碗工，在富人家當傭人旅择。盡管我們非常賣力的工作惭笑，依舊難以維持生計，更無力支付上學費用生真。

后來沉噩，我隨親戚回到馬拉維，在那里遇到一位男士柱蟀，他說只要我嫁給他就供我上學川蒙。當時我還不到１６歲，我不想那么早就嫁人长已，我母親也極力反對畜眨，但是我懷著一顆迫切的心想完成學業(yè)，也想幫助可憐的弟弟妹妹還有積勞成疾的母親能安穩(wěn)度日术瓮，我決定拿自己的人生做交易 ,嫁給他康聂。于是我們又舉家 遷回馬拉維。

We had a traditional marriage and he started paying for my secondary schooling and suppting my entire family. He was 15 years older than I was, he was educated, and was a successful businessman, but he was physically abusive. He beat me all the time. I still have scars on my body from my marriage.

我們舉行了非常傳統(tǒng)的婚禮斤斧，婚后早抠，他開始履行諾言，支付我的學費撬讽，負責我們一家人的生活蕊连。他比我年長１５歲，受過教育游昼，是一位成功的商人甘苍，但是有暴力傾向，經(jīng)常會向我施暴烘豌，直到現(xiàn)在载庭，我的身上依然有這場婚姻留下的疤痕。

I got pregnant at age 17, but fortunately I was able to take my exams before I gave birth to my daughter. My husband was still abusive - I almost had a miscarriage - and he was having affairs the entire time we were together. I was broken. This was not how I wanted my life to be, and I knew my husband was doing this to me because I was young and vulnerable, and didn't have anywhere else to go. I was trapped.

１７歲那年廊佩，我有了身孕囚聚。非常慶幸的是，考試比女兒出世來得早标锄，所以我順利完成了考試顽铸。在整個婚姻期間，丈夫對我的暴力從來沒有停止過料皇，為此我?guī)捉鳟a(chǎn)谓松，他的婚外情也從來沒有斷過星压，這讓我感到心碎也心灰意冷，我知道這不是我想要的生活鬼譬，我也知道他如此待我娜膘，就是因為我年輕懵懂，軟弱好欺优质，又無路可走竣贪，我被這場婚姻困住了。

It was at this point that my uncle in South Africa came to the rescue again. He knew I was passionate about fashion, and arranged for me to enrol in a fashion design course.

就在這個時候巩螃，我的救星舅舅贾富，從南非遠道而來，再次拯救我于水深火熱之中牺六。他知道我酷愛時尚，就為我出資報名汗捡，安排我去學習服裝設計淑际。

My husband always told me that if I left him, he'd hunt me down and kill me. So I had to lie, and tell him, "I'll be home in a week or two." But I did not go back. Instead I did the course, and supported myself by working in a restaurant.

我的丈夫一直恐嚇我，如果我離開了他扇住，他一定會活捉了我再將我碎尸萬段春缕，所以我向他撒謊，我要回娘家一兩周艘蹋。然后我去學服裝設計锄贼，并通過在餐廳打工養(yǎng)活自己。

Eventually I went back to Malawi and started designing clothes for influential people. I also opened a restaurant - cooking is another big passion of mine, it's my version of therapy. And I started a community organisation working on a variety of issues, from keeping girls in school by fighting early marriage, educating people about rituals and traditions - including hyenas - which put girls at risk, and teaching about HIV/Aids, unwanted pregnancies and reproductive health.

終于女阀，我完成了學業(yè)又回到了馬拉維宅荤，開始向有影響力的人設計服裝。后來又開了一家餐廳浸策，烹飪是我的又一大愛好冯键，也成了我治愈傷口的良藥。與此同時庸汗，我開始投身社群工作惫确，參與不同的議題，支持女孩受教育蚯舱，反對早婚改化，告訴人們那些古老又封建的傳統(tǒng)儀式將女孩置于很危險的境地，也向人們傳授艾滋枉昏，HIV,意外懷孕和生殖健康的常識陈肛。

My troubles with my husband were not over, however. When he found out I was back in Malawi he started stalking me. He would say things like: "If I can't have you, nobody else can."

One day he came to the house that I was living in. I don't know how he got my address, but he seemed calm, so I let him inside. He said he wanted to see me, and that he also wanted to see his daughter, who was at that time three years old. He told me he loved me, that he was sorry and that he was a changed man.

在此期間，我的丈夫并沒有停止過對我的騷擾凶掰，我學業(yè)歸來后燥爷，他開始跟蹤我蜈亩，并揚言，如果我得不到你前翎，別人也休想稚配。

有一天，他來到我的住所港华，（我也不知道他是怎么知道地址的

）道川，看上去不同以往的平靜，我便請他進了屋立宜，他說來看看我冒萄，也想看看３歲的女兒，告訴我他是愛我的橙数，為之前的做法向我道歉尊流，并且說他已經(jīng)洗心革面了。

"We're still married, and I've done so much for you," he said. "If it wasn't for me paying your fees and taking you and your miserable family in, you wouldn't have become what you are today. You owe me."

I told him: "Once bitten, twice shy."

“你還是我的老婆灯帮，我為你做了那么多崖技，是我當初掏錢供你上的學，是我當初把你從悲慘窮苦的家庭里解救出來钟哥，你能有今天都是我的功勞迎献，是你欠我的∧宸。”

我告訴他吁恍，“一朝被蛇咬，十年怕井繩”播演。

I certainly didn't want to get back together with him. He shouted and threw things and then he started choking me - even though my daughter was sitting on my lap. He would have killed me if the neighbours hadn't heard my screams. They burst in and threw him out. I didn't press criminal charges, I didn't want to make my case more public than it already was. But I did get a restraining order to keep him away from me.

All the while, something was bubbling up inside me, and I knew that what had happened to me in my life was happening to other girls and women.

我當然不愿跟他回去冀瓦，然后他開始咆哮，摔東西宾巍，掐住我的脖子想置我于死地咕幻，盡管孩子就坐在我的腿上。我拼命的喊叫顶霞，反抗肄程，孩子也嚎啕大哭，鄰居們聽到哭聲破門而入选浑，最終我才逃過一劫蓝厌。我沒有提出刑事指控，不想讓我已經(jīng)眾人皆知的丑陋生活再公布天下古徒。但我提出了對他的限制令拓提，讓他永遠不要再騷擾我。至此隧膘，我的內心無法平靜代态，我知道在我身上發(fā)生的悲劇也同樣在其他女孩和女人身上正在發(fā)生寺惫。

My community organisation continued to educate people but it was hard, particularly when we were challenging traditions such as the use of hyenas and wife inheritance.

我的社群工作依舊在進行，但是步履維艱蹦疑，尤其是向類似“鬣狗”西雀，“夫兄弟婚”這種根深蒂固的傳統(tǒng)發(fā)起挑戰(zhàn)非常艱難。

In some communities they told us: "Just because you are educated, doesn't mean that you should tell us what to do. These traditions and customs have existed for time immemorial, and we've practised them for ages without any harm."

在一些村落歉摧，有人告訴我艇肴，“不要因為你受過教育，就可以指使我們怎么做叁温。這些傳統(tǒng)習俗從遠古時候就存在再悼，千百年來世代延續(xù)，沒有給我們帶來過任何危害膝但〕寰牛”

But some elders and religious leaders listened, and some have stopped the practice in their villages.

但是，還是有一些長者和教主聽從了我們的呼聲跟束，在一些村落停止了這種荒唐的習俗娘侍。

In my community work I soon learned more about the barriers for girls in school. If families are going through a financial rough patch, they're more likely to pay fees for boys rather than for girls. If girls drop out of school, the family is eager to marry them off rather than have them sit around the house all day. And many girls miss class because they can't afford sanitary towels.

我在社群工作期間，也更多的了解到泳炉，女孩子要上學有多難，要跨越多少障礙才能踏進學校的大門嚎杨，如果一個家庭經(jīng)濟拮據(jù)花鹅，家長更傾向于將受教育的機會給男孩。一旦女孩輟學了枫浙，父母便亟不可待的將她們嫁出去刨肃，不允許她們待在家里 “坐吃山空”。即便有機會上學的女孩子箩帚，也會經(jīng)常在例假期間曠課真友，因為她們買不起衛(wèi)生巾。

To try to solve this problem, one of the main things my organisation is doing is distributing eco-friendly reusable washable sanitary pads and pants. They come as part of a kit including pants with clips so that they stay in place and a waterproof bag, in case girls need to change them in school. They are biodegradable, but cost effective and durable - they last for five years. I've also expanded into nappies. I hope these will encourage much less waste to go into landfill.

為了解決這一難題紧帕，我們社群工作的主要任務之一就是向女孩們分發(fā)既環(huán)保盔然，又可水洗，又能多次使用的衛(wèi)生巾和衛(wèi)生褲 是嗜，這種裝備既包括裁剪得體的衛(wèi)生褲以避免衛(wèi)生巾走形愈案，和一個防水袋，以避免女孩子在學校更換衛(wèi)生巾的困擾鹅搪。這些衛(wèi)生巾和衛(wèi)生褲成本很高站绪，因為都是可生物分解的，也持久耐用丽柿，一般可以用5年恢准。我也推廣了尿布的使用魂挂，我希望這樣可以減少浪費，避免將來垃圾成山的局面馁筐。

In 2011 I realised I needed to establish a formal organisation, and that was the start of Mama Africa Foundation Trust. We have distributed so many sanitary towels that I have lost count. I call this initiative Project Dignity.

Despite everything that's happened I'm optimistic about the future. I think there is so much we can do for the women and children who are victims of hyenas, of gender-based violence, and all the other social evils and challenges that are out there. It will be tough, but I have hope.

2011年涂召，我意識到我應該建立一個正式機構，這就是非洲媽媽信托基金會的雛形眯漩，我們機構向社會分發(fā)了不計其數(shù)的衛(wèi)生巾芹扭，我將這一創(chuàng)新項目命名為“為尊嚴而戰(zhàn)”。

雖然在我身上發(fā)生了許多不幸赦抖，但我對未來依舊充滿樂觀舱卡，那些婦女和女孩，他們是“鬣狗”的犧牲品队萤，是性別暴力的犧牲品轮锥，是所有社會罪惡的犧牲品，我們要不斷的和這些罪惡戰(zhàn)斗要尔，雖然任重而道遠舍杜，但我依然飽含希望。

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