Everything I Never Told You（中文名《無聲告白》）是華裔女作家Celeste Ng（伍綺詩）的處女作囊颅，一經(jīng)出版即登上2014年亞馬遜榜首枚碗。開頭的橋段會讓人誤以為是懸疑小說遥巴，雖然也有懸疑伍玖，但正如伍綺詩在她的訪談中說道婿失，這實(shí)質(zhì)上是一個(gè) family story钞艇。
Lydia is dead, but they don't know this yet.
好幾篇書評都會提到這個(gè)開頭，也有讀者評論說被開頭騙進(jìn)來豪硅，最后棄書哩照。我一開始也以為這是個(gè)懸疑小說，還在猜想兇手到底是誰懒浮，企圖在字里行間發(fā)現(xiàn)蛛絲馬跡飘弧。當(dāng)然到后面誰是兇手這個(gè)問題已經(jīng)不是重點(diǎn)了⊙庵看到作者的訪談提到這本書修改了4次次伶，耗費(fèi)六年寫成，初稿并不是這樣的結(jié)構(gòu)稽穆，讀者到中間才會知道Lydia死了冠王，但這會讓讀者一開始的方向跑偏。而一開始就說明Lydia死了舌镶，是為了讓讀者的問題圍繞“Lydia為什么會死”進(jìn)行柱彻，而不是糾結(jié)于Lydia到底是死是活豪娜。
Lydia為什么會死，這是全書的一個(gè)中心哟楷，而對于Lydia的死瘤载，她的家庭成員，以及Jack和Louisa分別起到了什么樣的影響卖擅，則隨著作者的筆觸一一展開鸣奔。
Lydia的家庭在小鎮(zhèn)上十分突出。這與華人當(dāng)時(shí)在美國的處境關(guān)系很大磨镶。1906年溃蔫，舊金山大地震，美國移民局的很多檔案文件包括華人的出生證明在內(nèi)毀于大火之中琳猫，因此James的父親才得以冒充親戚的兒子來到加州伟叛。1938年，James又隨父親來到愛荷華州的一個(gè)寄宿學(xué)校脐嫂。James作為第一個(gè)在該學(xué)校上學(xué)的東方人统刮，自然顯得格格不入。因此James一直希望自己的孩子能夠?fit in?, 不要像他當(dāng)年一樣账千。1943年排華法案才正式廢除侥蒙，隨后1948年加州華人禁止與白人通婚的規(guī)定被廢除，但在其他州匀奏，類似法規(guī)仍在施行鞭衩。直到1967年，美國最高法院才一致裁決禁止跨種族通婚的法案違憲娃善。Lydia父母大概是在1959年結(jié)婚论衍，當(dāng)時(shí)有些州還是禁止華人與白人通婚。
Just days before, hundreds of miles away, another couple had married, too—a white man, a black woman, who would share a most appropriate name: Loving. In four months they would be arrested in Virginia, the law reminding them that Almighty God had never intended white, black, yellow, and red to mix, that there should be no mongrel citizens, no obliteration of racial pride. It would be four years before they protested, and four years more before the court concurred, but many more years before the people around them would, too. Some, like Marilyn’s mother, never would.
而Lydia的母親Marilyn聚磺，從小成績優(yōu)異坯台，夢想成為醫(yī)生。Marilyn抗拒成為母親那樣的人瘫寝，囿于一日三餐家長里短蜒蕾。但是遇到James和意外懷孕，讓她早早成家開始相夫教子焕阿。她希望Lydia能夠 stand out?咪啡，延續(xù)她的夢想，繼續(xù)她未竟之事暮屡，不要重蹈她的瑟匆，以及她母親的覆轍。
Lydia五歲時(shí)Marilyn離家出走，追尋她未完成的夢想愁溜，之后因意外受傷和得知Hannah的存在歸家疾嗅。母親的離開對Lydia來說有最直接最深遠(yuǎn)的影響。Lydia從此背負(fù)著父母的期望冕象，以及她自己做出的許諾生活代承。
If her mother ever came home and told her to finish her milk, she thought, the page wavering to a blur, she would finish her milk. She would brush her teeth without being asked and stop crying when the doctor gave her shots. She would go to sleep the second her mother turned out the light. She would never get sick again. She would do everything her mother told her. Everything her mother wanted.
所幸的是，她不是一個(gè)人渐扮。Nath一直和她同行论悴。Lydia和Nath之間存在某種默契，他們相互依靠取暖墓律。這也是長久以來支持Lydia繼續(xù)下去的動力膀估。Lydia讓母親開心，讓父親歡喜耻讽，努力維持著一個(gè)美麗的假象察纯。而當(dāng)Nath找到自己的興趣所在，目光不再聚焦在Lydia身邊针肥，也不再奢望能夠得到來自父母的注視饼记，而是迫不及待地逃離這個(gè)家時(shí)，Lydia只能踽踽獨(dú)行慰枕，被迫困在原地具则，一個(gè)人掙扎。Lydia阻止不了Nath的離開具帮，也阻止不了她內(nèi)心世界的傾覆博肋。
Lydia一開始是雖然是因?yàn)镴ack是Nath討厭的人而和Jack一起，但那段時(shí)間我想Lydia反而是愉快的鮮活的蜂厅。
The smoke burned in her lungs and made her head spin and suddenly she felt sharp and aware. Like cutting your finger, she thought: the pain, and the blood, reminded you that you were alive.
但當(dāng)她得知Jack喜歡的是Nath時(shí)匪凡，最后一根弦也崩斷。一直以來葛峻，Lydia內(nèi)心被恐懼占據(jù)支配锹雏，害怕母親再次離開巴比，害怕這個(gè)家分崩離析术奖，也害怕失去Nath。小時(shí)候被Nath推到湖里差點(diǎn)溺亡轻绞，從此她也害怕水采记。
Ever since that summer, she had been so afraid—of losing her mother, of losing her father. And, after a while, the biggest fear of all: of losing Nath, the only one who understood the strange and brittle balance in their family. Who knew all that had happened. Who had always kept her afloat.
當(dāng)明白自己的恐懼時(shí)，Lydia決定直面它政勃，她下定決心不再害怕孤單唧龄，按自己的心意活。她來到湖邊奸远，登上小船最后潛入水中既棺，她擁抱了曾經(jīng)令她驚慌失措的地方讽挟，也把自己永遠(yuǎn)留在了那里。最后一刻丸冕，她是無懼無畏的耽梅。
She looked down at the lake, which in the dark looked like nothing, just blackness, a great void spreading beneath her. It will be all right, she told herself, and she stepped out of the boat into the water.
小說的題目Everything I Never Told You，不止包括Lydia對父母的未竟之言胖烛，還包括James和Marilyn之間的關(guān)系眼姐，以及家中其他成員的相互關(guān)系。未說出口的佩番，有誤解众旗，有傷害，也有愛趟畏。從這點(diǎn)上理解贡歧，中文名《無聲告白》將范圍縮小，有未譯全之感拱镐。剛開始聽到這個(gè)名字我還以為是一本青春暗戀小說艘款。但從另一方面來說，Lydia一家人沃琅，那些傷害誤解哗咆，最根本的出發(fā)點(diǎn)卻是愛，因此這個(gè)名字也有貼切之處益眉。
在讀這本書的時(shí)候晌柬，印象最深的有兩個(gè)片段。第一是James和Marilyn兩人吵架郭脂，Marilyn不滿James對警官的態(tài)度口不擇言年碘。kowtow和coolies這兩個(gè)詞都是來源于中文，叩頭和苦力展鸡，一個(gè)是卑躬屈膝曲意逢迎屿衅，一個(gè)是廉價(jià)勞動力，都是不堪的中國形象莹弊，可想而知對James的打擊涤久。
“Unlike some people, I don’t just kowtow to the police.”
“In the blur of her fury, Marilyn doesn’t think twice about what she’s said. To James, though, the word rifles from his wife’s mouth and lodges deep in his chest. From those two syllables—kowtow—explode bent-backed coolies in cone hats, pigtailed Chinamen with sandwiched palms. Squinty and servile. Bowing and belittled. He has long suspected that everyone sees him this way—Stanley Hewitt, the policemen, the checkout girl at the grocery store. But he had not thought that everyone included Marilyn.”
另一個(gè)則來自于Hannah發(fā)現(xiàn)Jack對Nath的感情。在上文我一直沒有提到Hannah忍弛，作為家中最小的孩子响迂，她沒有經(jīng)歷母親的出走，沒有和哥哥姐姐一起共患難细疚，總是一個(gè)人躲在各種角落蔗彤，是最被忽略的存在，也是最讓我心酸的一個(gè)。這一段初看時(shí)震驚了我然遏，隱秘又歡喜的心情贫途。剛開始我還不敢確定，直到后面Jack向Lydia坦白待侵。
Something caught Hannah’s eye then…A drop of water trickled out of Nath’s hair, like a shy little mouse, and ran down the nape of his neck. It made its slow way between his shoulder blades, and where his back curved, it dropped straight down, as if it had jumped off a cliff, and splashed onto the back of Jack’s hand…And Jack himself jumped. He stared at the drop of water without moving, as if it were a rare insect that might fly away. Then, without looking at any of them, he raised his hand to his mouth and touched his tongue to it, as if it were honey.
讀這本小說的感覺用一個(gè)詞來形容就是“不忍猝讀”潮饱，Celeste的文筆細(xì)膩到令人難受。一開始就被告知結(jié)局的讀者诫给，拼湊著Celeste給出的碎片香拉，一步步還原整個(gè)故事。就如同游離在外圍中狂，看著一座注定要傾塌的大廈凫碌，無力解救，只能靜靜地胃榕，近乎殘忍地目睹這一切的發(fā)生盛险。但不可否認(rèn)，這是一部很棒勋又，很有代入感苦掘，能夠引起共鳴的書。
在這里也把Celeste的談話視頻附上楔壤，看完之后鹤啡，相信對理解這本書更有幫助。聽說她的新書也是家庭題材的蹲嚣，期待一下递瑰。（https://v.qq.com/x/page/m0510fazx26.html）
