他是一個(gè)很受人歡迎的幽默演員。兩次格萊美獎(jiǎng)獲得者。十年前因心臟病突然辭世。以下是他的一次表演中有關(guān)人的年齡的笑話绳慎。在幽默之余卻發(fā)人深省。
George Carlin's Views on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
你有沒(méi)有意識(shí)到在我們的一生中只有在兒童時(shí)代我們才想變老漠烧？如果你不到十歲杏愤，你是那樣興奮，當(dāng)你想像年齡時(shí)都不已整數(shù)記沽甥。
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
“你多大了声邦？” “我四歲半！”你從來(lái)都不能是三十六歲半摆舟。你是四歲半亥曹，快到五歲了邓了！這才是重點(diǎn)。
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
當(dāng)你進(jìn)入十幾歲時(shí)媳瞪，誰(shuí)也停不住你了骗炉。你跳躍到下一個(gè)年齡數(shù)字，甚至下幾個(gè)數(shù)字蛇受。
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life... You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
“你多大了句葵？”“我快到十六歲！”你可能是十三歲兢仰，但是誰(shuí)知道呢乍丈，你快到十六了！隨之你人生中最偉大的一天把将。轻专。。你變成二十一察蹲。甚至這幾個(gè)字聽(tīng)起來(lái)都像慶典请垛。你變成二十一歲了。YESＧ⒁椤Ｗ谑铡！（譯者注：在美國(guó)二十一歲以上法律允許飲酒）
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
但是然后你轉(zhuǎn)變為三十亚兄。嗚呼混稽，怎么回事？這使你聽(tīng)起來(lái)好像變壞的牛奶审胚！他轉(zhuǎn)變了荚坞。我們得把他扔出去。現(xiàn)在不好玩兒了菲盾，你只是個(gè)酸餃子。哪兒出毛病了各淀？哪兒變了懒鉴？
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you reach 50 and your dreams are gone.
你變成二十一，你轉(zhuǎn)變成三十碎浇，然后你推進(jìn)到四十临谱。哇！打住奴璃，一切都溜走了悉默。當(dāng)你還沒(méi)留神，你達(dá)到了五十苟穆，而且你的一切夢(mèng)想都化為泡影抄课。
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
但是等等３恰！你完成了六十跟磨。你沒(méi)想到你會(huì)的间聊！
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
所以你變成了二十一，轉(zhuǎn)變成三十抵拘，推進(jìn)到四十哎榴，達(dá)到了五十并完成了六十。
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
你積攢了如此大的慣性以至于你撞上了七十僵蛛！從那兒以后就得一天一天的數(shù)了尚蝌；你撞上了星期三！
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4: 30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backward; "I Was JUST 92."
你走進(jìn)了你的八十而且每天都是一個(gè)完整的循環(huán)充尉；你撞上了午餐飘言；你轉(zhuǎn)變成四點(diǎn)半；你達(dá)到了上床時(shí)間喉酌。而且并沒(méi)在那兒止住热凹。到了九十以后，你開(kāi)始往回?cái)?shù)了泪电；“我本來(lái)才九十二般妙。”
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
接著一個(gè)奇怪的事情就發(fā)生了相速。如果你有幸過(guò)了一百歲碟渺，你就又變成了個(gè)小孩子⊥晃埽“我一百歲半了苫拍！”
愿你們都有幸活過(guò)一百歲半！旺隙！
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
怎樣保持年輕
- Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight, and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."
忘掉那些無(wú)關(guān)緊要的數(shù)字绒极。這些包括年齡，體重和身高蔬捷。讓那些醫(yī)生去關(guān)心它們垄提。因?yàn)槟愀跺X(qián)讓“他們”去管這事兒。
- Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
保留那些情緒好的朋友周拐。剩下的都會(huì)拖你后腿铡俐。
- Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
不斷學(xué)習(xí)。多學(xué)點(diǎn)兒電腦妥粟，手工藝術(shù)审丘，園藝，無(wú)論什么勾给。絕不讓大腦空轉(zhuǎn)滩报」“一個(gè)空轉(zhuǎn)的大腦是魔鬼的作坊÷恫矗”這個(gè)魔鬼就是奧茲海默病喉镰。
- Enjoy the simple things.
享受簡(jiǎn)單事物。
- Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
經(jīng)常惭笑，長(zhǎng)時(shí)間和大聲地笑侣姆。笑到你喘不過(guò)氣來(lái)。
- The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
生活中會(huì)有眼淚沉噩。忍受捺宗，含悲，然后繼續(xù)生活下去川蒙。一生中唯一能一直陪我們走下去的人蚜厉，是我們自己。當(dāng)你活著的時(shí)候畜眨，真正地活著昼牛。
- Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
用你熱愛(ài)的一切圍繞著你自己，無(wú)論這些是你的家庭康聂，寵物贰健，收藏，音樂(lè)恬汁，植物伶椿，愛(ài)好等等。你的家是你的避風(fēng)港氓侧。
- Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
珍惜你的健康：如果它還好脊另，保持它。如果它不穩(wěn)定约巷，改善它偎痛。如果你已經(jīng)無(wú)法改善它，尋求幫助独郎。
- Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
避免負(fù)窘之旅看彼。去商場(chǎng)逛一逛，甚至去附近的郡看看囚聚；或到外國(guó)去旅行但是別去令你后悔的地方。
- Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
只要有機(jī)會(huì)就告訴你愛(ài)的人标锄，你愛(ài)他們顽铸。
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
永遠(yuǎn)記住：
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
我們的生命不是用呼吸了多少次料皇，而是用在我們停止呼吸的那些時(shí)刻來(lái)衡量的谓松。
