part 1: patterns

to my knowledge, there are 3 patterns of interpersonal relationships~'love,love', 'love, hate', 'hate hate'.

我覺得人際關(guān)系可以歸納為三種模式:“我喜歡你哄尔，你也喜歡你”触幼，“我喜歡你，但我不喜歡你”究飞，“我不喜歡你置谦，你也不喜歡我”。

'love, hate' is the most common pattern. almost in every romantic pursuit, source finding, head hunting, 'leg hugging', we will reach this pattern. it is not easy to woo someone who should have been living his life in a parallel way without crossing yours~when one in needs, one intrudes other people's lives which usually needs lots of effort to let them accept your interference~

“我喜歡你亿傅，但你不喜歡我”是最普遍的模式~因?yàn)榇蟛糠值睦寺较浚屹Y源，獵頭葵擎，抱大腿都屬于這個(gè)模式~是生活過程需要追求卓越的必經(jīng)模式~貴人本來與你的人生無關(guān)谅阿，個(gè)是平行的路軌上，互不交叉~突然間酬滤，你在我不需要你的時(shí)候插進(jìn)來签餐，你就應(yīng)該多花心思讓我覺得你除了對我有用外，還要不能取代~

'hate,hate' is the most annoying pattern in workplace~i dont like you, and you me~but somehow we are stuck in the same firm, same school or same project~we have so different values for life and principles~

“我不喜歡你盯串，你也不喜歡我”是最討人厭的模式~一般就是職場出現(xiàn)~美其名叫做事風(fēng)格不合氯檐，性格不合~說白了就是傻叉老板，綠茶婊体捏，拜金女冠摄，鳳凰男~同在一個(gè)firm里工作，被人看到不和諧又怕被人利用几缭，閑話河泳，針對等~導(dǎo)致強(qiáng)忍，忍到精神病年栓，衰竭拆挥，把怨氣帶給家人~

'love, love' is the most adorable pattern of all~they have a chemistry naturally within a day~they just click~but the drawback is: the pattern is best maintained by absence of interest conflict like fame and resources~

“我喜歡你，你也喜歡我”是最渴求的模式~有些人就是天生就click~很合拍~像兄弟姐妹某抓，話還沒說纸兔，你已經(jīng)意會到我意思~或者我們的興趣愛好總是相似惰瓜，不用比我遷就~問題是:這些人跟你都不能有利益關(guān)系~你不能跟老板，債主食拜，房東鸵熟，有這些關(guān)系~大家最怕就是“挨義氣”“是不是不相信我”“不是不幫我吧”~沒有了隔膜，就沒有防護(hù)~自己的利益就更難保護(hù)好~

part 3: principles原則

gold standard of relationship: keep distance

人際關(guān)系的鑰匙:保持距離

for ' love, hate' pattern, the friendship doesnt last long for the 'love' one tries things too hard~incessant annoucement of love, massive love input etc~people have such innate nature that they avoid stable instablility~ people pursue dynamics in a stable environment, but not too dramatic that leads to unforseeable outcomes~

當(dāng)我們很合拍的時(shí)候负甸，應(yīng)該保持距離流强，把距離打開，不能太熟悉~尤其不能再了解對方的秘密呻待，弱點(diǎn)~情侶拍的久都會倦怠打月，因?yàn)閷Ψ降囊蠖嗔藒當(dāng)雙方不平衡時(shí)，一個(gè)鬧著要公開蚕捉，讓所有人來點(diǎn)評自己;自己堅(jiān)持付出奏篙，還沒有了解對方有多需要就已經(jīng)刷爆人情卡來付出，換來的是對方不理解~人喜歡新奇的沉悶:在沉悶中人會搞一下新東西迫淹，新東西來了以后又要對方不要搞那么多動作~其實(shí)秘通，就是人的反射就要保持器官不生銹，太久不動腦袋敛熬，太久腎上腺素不工作肺稀，就自然要試機(jī)，開動一陣子~

for 'hate,hate' pattern, tension builds between and misunderstanding is in every day basis~ when i dont like you, everything you do is annoying~it mends things better if someone can be absent for a while~

“你tm就是我的克星”应民，凡是我不喜歡你话原，你做的任何事都是錯(cuò)的，都是攻擊我的诲锹，因?yàn)槲覍δ阌邢热霝槌龅囊庖妦就正如繁仁，我只認(rèn)識長毛的狗，所有狗都是有毛的归园，我看到一只被剃光毛的狗黄虱，我直接說他不是狗，他的嗷嗷只是像而已蔓倍，他到處撒尿只是因?yàn)閯偤媚蚨鄜唯一解決方法悬钳，就是其中一個(gè)人離開，或者脫離利益關(guān)系~

for 'love, love' pattern, things tend to rush to inretrievable end~they drive things quickly~experiencing advanced courtship without going through the basics, like getting to know about your family before marrying you~

當(dāng)我想在愛情或事業(yè)上抱大腿偶翅，我就一味子提供我有的但你又不需要的東西~你根本就不需要我，但我必須跟你一起碉渡，或者取得你某些關(guān)系~我們不在平衡的位子~你不答應(yīng)我聚谁，我就到處罵你。方法只有欲擒放縱~玩神秘~推拉滞诺，保持身價(jià)形导，不對對方的好變現(xiàn)的太上心~當(dāng)大家真的和的來环疼，他會來，不和的來朵耕，其實(shí)他自己的性格也在生活中被磨爛炫隶，不能怪他~本來人的一生就是復(fù)雜的~

to me, i think keeping an adequate distance from people you want to love or hate may be the golden solution~

保持距離~產(chǎn)生美~

just now, i received some resource from a person who i love but hates me~~ yes, i too am fallen in a ' love, hate' dilemma~ but, i kept his distance not to rush things through~ and when he didnt value the sources much, he provided~