死黨林夕姑娘自本科畢業(yè)開始印蔬，便在一家公立幼兒園當(dāng)了幼師。每天朋友圈都是各種寶寶的萌照脱衙，一直以為幼師便是這世上最單純最美好的工作侥猬。哪成想她自己用一句話概括了這些年當(dāng)幼師的感受，竟然是：
A close friend of mine, named Zoe, became a nursery teacher since she graduated from university. Seeing her posting photos of adorable kids with warm smiles, I believed that nursery teacher must be the very job that makes you happy and positive everyday. However, when asked how she would summerize her experience and feelings as a nursery teacher, she said:
這世上最不公平的事就是生了孩子岂丘，就自動(dòng)升級(jí)為父母陵究。憑什么！
The most unfair thing in this world would be that after giving birth to a baby, anyone can become a parent automatically.
聽后甚為差異奥帘，便不停的追問铜邮。林夕姑娘一改往日嘻嘻哈哈的作風(fēng)，義正言辭的說：
Shocked by her words, I kept asking the reasons behind this unexpected answer. Instead of answering my questions directly, she asked me serval questions:
身為孩子的第一任老師寨蹋，你受過訓(xùn)練嗎松蒜？你有這方面知識(shí)嗎？你知道怎么跟孩子相處嗎已旧？你了解孩子們的心里嗎秸苗？你知道他們的生理和心里發(fā)育規(guī)律及怎么應(yīng)對(duì)嗎？你知道不恰當(dāng)語言對(duì)他們傷害多大嗎运褪？你真的了解他們的感受嗎?
We all know that parents are the very first teachers to newly-borned ones, but have they been trained to be a proper teacher? Do they have professional knowledge of how to getting along with children? Do they know anything about psychology? Do they have any idea of the critical points of a child's growth process and how to deal with them? Do they know clearly how much children could be hurt by unproperiate words?Have they ever tried to understand children's feeling?
我被問的呆住了惊楼，一個(gè)字都回答不出來玖瘸。或許我還可以以年齡小檀咙，尚未為人父母做托詞雅倒，回應(yīng)說以后會(huì)學(xué)的。那么已經(jīng)為人父為人母的你們呢弧可？
I did not expect any of these questions and can not say anything but stay shocked. Well, I could still say that I am too young to think about things like that, but what about you guys? You have being a parent for quite a long time, but have you ever thought about these questions?
午餐時(shí)候跟同事聊天蔑匣，經(jīng)常聽到類似“我以前對(duì)我家老大xxx，現(xiàn)在知道了那樣不行啊∽厮校現(xiàn)在對(duì)小的不會(huì)再那樣了裁良。”聽了只覺得校套，老大好可憐价脾，完全就是個(gè)試驗(yàn)品。媽媽在她長大的過程中學(xué)會(huì)了當(dāng)媽媽搔确，但是她呢彼棍？幼時(shí)該得到的理解和關(guān)愛要找誰彌補(bǔ)，又能怎樣彌補(bǔ)呢膳算？
During the lunch time, I always heard my colleages saying things like "I have done xxx things to my older child which I am now really regret. I am definitely not gonna do those to my little one." OMG, how poor the older one is! Is it even fare to use your first child as an experiment and learn the right way of getting along with child? How and who can make up for the older one?
《如何說座硕，孩子才會(huì)聽。怎么聽涕蜂，孩子才肯說》
<How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk>
聽這名字华匾，第一感覺是：呵呵噠，又一本心靈雞湯吧机隙。哪知道這隨手一翻蜘拉，竟然一口氣讀完了。2017讀書單上根本沒有它有鹿，卻成了第一本讀完旭旭，并無比興慶在為人母之前就讀過的書。
At the first glance, I thought it is nothing but a useless book with a beatiful name. To my surprise, I was totally attracted by its content and ?finished the whole book.
“我們可以結(jié)束和孩子的沖突了葱跋！“ 是本書的口號(hào)持寄，亦是目標(biāo)。作者阿黛爾·法伯娱俺、伊萊恩·瑪茲麗施均為杰出教育專家稍味。本書有著”美國家庭教育十大暢銷書之一，銷售300多萬冊荠卷，被譯為30多種文字風(fēng)靡全球模庐。長踞美國暢銷書排行榜，出版20多年長銷不衰“的漂亮頭銜油宜，而事實(shí)證明掂碱，它絕對(duì)對(duì)得起這些頭銜怜姿。
Naitonal Bestseller, more than 3 million copies sold, the parenting bible. These are just a few titles this book received and it has proved that it deserves.
在最開始，作者貼心的附上了”如何閱讀本書”顶吮，并建議讀者先通過漫畫對(duì)全書有一個(gè)大致的了解社牲。我也是按照他們的建議去做的，不出一會(huì)兒便被深深吸引悴了。圖畫畫的沒什么出彩，卻能用簡短的文字生動(dòng)的表述出她們的觀點(diǎn)违寿。
At the beginning of the book, authors suggested the way that they believed is approperiate for reading the book--- getting a rough idea about the book by looking at the illustrations. I did follow their suggestion and it turned out that, with just a few words for?each illustration, it is really attractive.
“天呢湃交，這個(gè)我從沒想過” “這個(gè)好有道理啊”貫穿了我的整個(gè)閱讀過程。隨意舉個(gè)例子藤巢，各位家長可曾想過搞莺，孩子們的感受和他們行為之間的關(guān)系？你有試著了解和換位思考過他們的感受嗎掂咒？為什么孩子越發(fā)不想跟你交流才沧，真的是長大了就不愛跟父母聊天了這么簡單？
"wow, I have never thought about this." "yes, it does make sense." these kind of feelings appeared from time to time during the whole reading process. I will just give you guys several easy examples: have you ever thought about the relation between a kid's action and his feeling? why your kid does not want to have a deep conversation with you anymore? Is it just that as they becoming older, they simply do not want to share their thought with you?
這些問題書中并沒有一筆一劃給你寫出答案绍刮，而是通過多年兩位作者所見所聞温圆，列舉真實(shí)案例，經(jīng)過專業(yè)分析思考并驗(yàn)證后孩革，把不同處理方式處理的結(jié)果告訴你岁歉。畢竟，相處時(shí)需要技巧膝蜈，更需要時(shí)間锅移。每個(gè)孩子都有著自己獨(dú)特的性格，相處方式自然不能完全一樣饱搏，這需要父母針對(duì)自己孩子的特性非剃，結(jié)合理論與實(shí)踐摸索出最恰當(dāng)?shù)南嗵幏绞健?/p>
well, there are no direct answers to these questions in the book. After all, every kid is unique and the parent should combine professional theories and reality together to find the most approperiate way for your kid. But, it does list many cases they got from parents during their career and these cases do?provoke your thought, very deeply.
或許你會(huì)質(zhì)疑因文化差異帶來的相處差異闹瞧，進(jìn)而認(rèn)為老美所提供的相處技巧不適用于中國孩子塔鳍。但是親愛的父母票灰，無論是中國還是外國拷况，與孩子相處最重要也是通用的一點(diǎn)請不要忘記核无，平等互愛浮梢、互相尊重编曼。更何況靶剑，無論身處地球的哪個(gè)角落深浮，無論膚色與人種压怠，父母們都在盡最大的努力，把最美好的給孩子飞苇。既然如此菌瘫，那么所謂的文化差異便會(huì)無限縮小蜗顽，微乎其微。
You may say that culture difference will cause huge differences between?the way to get along, and believed suggestions raised by US people are not suitable for Chinese children. However, what you should always remember is the basic rule of getting along: being equal and respective, even if and especially when?you are the parent. Also, parents, regardless of the?country they come from and races, have one huge thing in common : they all try their best and are devoted to give the best to their children. Because of this, the culture difference is so tiny that can be neglacted when talking about how to love your child.
不要再將自動(dòng)升級(jí)為父母作為理所當(dāng)然雨让，讀完此書你會(huì)猛然發(fā)現(xiàn)雇盖，你所認(rèn)為的理所當(dāng)然，真的很可笑栖忠。請用正確的方式愛孩子崔挖！
Please, do not treat becoming parents after giving birth to your baby as natural. Cuz here, natural shares the same meaning as rediculous! Please rethink about your reaction and use the appropriate way to treat your child and show your love to them.
此書已翻譯成了20多種語言，在讀完中文翻譯版后庵寞，我又閱讀了英文原版狸相。雖然中文翻譯的已近乎完美，作者的精髓液都保留了下來捐川。但不得不說脓鹃，原版依舊完勝，在語言古沥、情緒和信息傳達(dá)方面瘸右，都完勝。有能力閱讀英語的家長岩齿，斯諾姑娘強(qiáng)烈建議讀原版太颤，可以慢慢讀，慢慢品纯衍。
另外栋齿，歡迎家長朋友與斯諾一起閱讀并討論此書。
老規(guī)矩襟诸，本文的中英文依舊由斯諾姑娘獨(dú)自撰寫及翻譯瓦堵。有不妥之處歡迎指正。
