Why domestic violence victims don't leave

TED簡(jiǎn)介：萊斯利·摩根·斯泰納曾經(jīng)陷入“瘋狂的愛情”——即愛上了一個(gè)經(jīng)常虐待她并威脅她生命的男人达布。斯泰納描述了她的婚姻中黑暗的一面熊经，糾正了許多人對(duì)于家庭暴力受害者的錯(cuò)誤理解，并告訴我們?nèi)绾螏椭芎φ叽蚱瞥聊?/p>

演講者：Leslie Morgan Steiner?萊斯利·摩根·斯泰納

片長(zhǎng)：16：00

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中英對(duì)照翻譯

I'm here today to talk about a disturbing question, which has an equally disturbing answer. My topic is the secrets of domestic violence, and the question I'm going to tackle is the one question everyone always asks: Why does she stay? Why would anyone stay with a man who beats her? I'm not a psychiatrist, a social worker or an expert in domestic violence. I'm just one woman with a story to tell.

今天圆存，我想聊一個(gè)令人不安的問題正塌，這個(gè)問題的答案同樣令人煩擾负懦。我要說的是家庭暴力的秘密蜈缤，而我將要回答的問題這個(gè)問題每個(gè)人都曾經(jīng)問起： “為什么她（家庭暴力受害者）會(huì)留下來(lái)？” “怎么會(huì)有人愿意和一個(gè)打她的男人繼續(xù)住在一起呐萨？” 我并不是精神病醫(yī)生杀饵、社會(huì)工作者、也不是家庭暴力方面的專家谬擦。我只是一個(gè)有著親身經(jīng)歷要講述的女人切距。

I was 22. I had just graduated from Harvard College. I had moved to New York City for my first job as a writer and editor at Seventeen magazine. I had my first apartment, my first little green American Express card, and I had a very big secret. My secret was that I had this gun loaded with hollow-point bullets pointed at my head by the man who I thought was my soulmate, many, many times.

當(dāng)時(shí)我22歲，剛從哈佛學(xué)院畢業(yè)惨远，我搬到了紐約谜悟，開始了自己第一份工作在“Seventeen”雜志社當(dāng)編輯和撰稿人。我第一次有了自己的房子（公寓）北秽，有了第一張信用卡葡幸。我還有一個(gè)非常大的秘密。這個(gè)秘密就是我曾經(jīng)被我認(rèn)為是我靈魂伴侶的男人用這把裝滿空心彈頭的槍指著我的頭太多贺氓、太多次蔚叨。

The man who I loved more than anybody on Earth held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me more times than I caneven remember. I'm here to tell you the story of crazy love, a psychologicaltrap disguised as love, one that millions of women and even a few men fall intoevery year. It may even be your story.

這個(gè)我曾經(jīng)最愛的人，用槍指著我的頭掠归，并威脅要?dú)⒌粑颐宓乙呀?jīng)記不得對(duì)我做了多少次∏哪啵現(xiàn)在我所講述的這個(gè)“瘋狂愛情”的故事虏冻，是一個(gè)偽裝成愛情的心理陷阱，每年都會(huì)有上百萬(wàn)的女性弹囚，甚至也包括一些男性會(huì)掉進(jìn)這個(gè)陷阱厨相。或許鸥鹉，它正發(fā)生在你的身上蛮穿。

I don't look like a typical domestic violence survivor. I have a B.A. in English from Harvard College, an MBA inmarketing from Wharton Business School. I've spent most of my career working for Fortune 500 companies including Johnson & Johnson, Leo Burnett and The Washington Post. I've been married for almost 20 years to my second husband andwe have three kids together. My dog is a black lab, and I drive a Honda Odysseyminivan. (Laughter)

我看起來(lái)不像是典型的家庭暴力受害者，我擁有哈佛學(xué)院的英語(yǔ)學(xué)士學(xué)位毁渗，還拿到了沃頓商學(xué)院的市場(chǎng)營(yíng)銷方面的MBA學(xué)位践磅。我決大多數(shù)時(shí)間都在為"財(cái)富"500強(qiáng)公司工作，包括強(qiáng)生灸异、李?yuàn)W貝納和華盛頓郵報(bào)府适。我嫁給我的第二任丈夫差不多20年了并育有3個(gè)孩子羔飞。我養(yǎng)了一只黑色拉布拉多獵犬，開本田奧賽德面包車檐春。（笑）

So, my first message for you is that domestic violence happens to everyone — all races, all religions, all incomeand education levels. It's everywhere. And my second message is that everyone thinks domestic violence happens to women, that it's a women's issue. Notexactly. Over 85 percent of abusers are men, and domestic abuse happens only inintimate, interdependent, long-term relationships, in other words, in families,the last place we would want or expect to find violence, which is one reason domestic abuse is so confusing.

這就是我要告訴你的第一個(gè)事實(shí)：家庭暴力可能發(fā)生在每個(gè)人身上逻淌，無(wú)關(guān)你的種族、信仰疟暖、收入和教育水平卡儒，它隨處可見。我要說的第二個(gè)事實(shí)俐巴，是很多人認(rèn)為既然家庭暴力發(fā)生在女性身上骨望，那應(yīng)該是女性自身的問題。不是的窜骄，超過85%的施虐者是男性锦募，并且家庭暴力只發(fā)生在親密的、相互依存的邻遏、長(zhǎng)期的關(guān)系中糠亩， 換句話說，發(fā)生在家庭中准验，這是我們最不愿意赎线，或最不期望看到暴力的地方。這也是為什么家庭暴力如此叫人困擾的原因之一糊饱。

I would have told you myself that I was thelast person on Earth who would stay with a man who beats me, but in fact I wasa very typical victim because of my age. I was 22, and in the United States,women ages 16 to 24 are three times as likely to be domestic violence victimsas women of other ages, and over 500 women and girls this age are killed everyyear by abusive partners, boyfriends, and husbands in the United States.

我原本以為世界上只有我一個(gè)人會(huì)繼續(xù)留在一個(gè)打我的男人身邊垂寥，但是事實(shí)上在我這個(gè)年齡段這種事情非常普遍。我當(dāng)時(shí)22歲另锋。而在美國(guó)滞项，16至24歲的女性相比其他年齡段的女性 受到家庭暴力傷害的可能性要高出兩倍以上。同樣在美國(guó)夭坪，每年有超過500位婦女或女孩被施虐者殺害文判，兇手是她們的男友，或者丈夫室梅。

I was also a very typical victim because Iknew nothing about domestic violence, its warning signs or its patterns.

我是一個(gè)非常典型的受害者戏仓，還因?yàn)槲壹彝ケ┝Φ念A(yù)兆和發(fā)展模式一無(wú)所知。

I met Conor on a cold, rainy January night.He sat next to me on the New York City subway, and he started chatting me up.He told me two things. One was that he, too, had just graduated from an IvyLeague school, and that he worked at a very impressive Wall Street bank. Butwhat made the biggest impression on me that first meeting was that he was smartand funny and he looked like a farm boy. He had these big cheeks, these bigapple cheeks and this wheat-blond hair, and he seemed so sweet.

我在一個(gè)雨夜遇見了康納亡鼠，那時(shí)是一月份赏殃，天很冷伴鳖。我們?cè)诩~約的地鐵上碰巧坐在一起奇适， 他先跟我聊了起來(lái)桃笙。他告訴我兩件事傀顾。第一件是他也畢業(yè)于常春藤聯(lián)盟學(xué)校幢炸，并且在一個(gè)非常好的華爾街銀行工作万伤。但是第一次見面給我留下最深印象的是他的智慧和幽默颜曾，而他的外貌看起來(lái)像農(nóng)場(chǎng)男孩褐健。他的臉頰像大蘋果一樣紅撲撲的 小麥色的金發(fā)，看起來(lái)十分討人喜歡物蝙。

One of the smartest things Conor did, fromthe very beginning, was to create the illusion that I was the dominant partnerin the relationship. He did this especially at the beginning by idolizing me.We started dating, and he loved everything about me, that I was smart, that I'dgone to Harvard, that I was passionate about helping teenage girls, and my job.He wanted to know everything about my family and my childhood and my hopes anddreams.

在初次交往中康納做的最聰明的事情炎滞，是讓我相信，在這段感情中我是強(qiáng)勢(shì)的一方诬乞。尤其剛開始的時(shí)候册赛，他讓我覺得我是他崇拜的偶像。我們開始交往震嫉，他喜歡關(guān)于我的一切森瘪，例如我的聰明，我在哈佛的求學(xué)經(jīng)歷票堵，我給予青少年女性的熱情幫助扼睬，以及我的工作。他很愿意了解我的家庭悴势、我的童年窗宇、我的愿望和夢(mèng)想。

Conor believed in me, as a writer and a woman, in a way that no oneelse ever had. And he also created a magical atmosphere of trust between us byconfessing his secret, which was that, as a very young boy starting at agefour, he had been savagely and repeatedly physically abused by his stepfather,and the abuse had gotten so bad that he had had to drop out of school in eighthgrade, even though he was very smart, and he'd spent almost 20 years rebuildinghis life. Which is why that Ivy League degree and the Wall Street job and hisbright shiny future meant so much to him.

康納對(duì)我信任的程度特纤，我身為一個(gè)女人和撰稿人军俊，之前從未沒有在別人那里得到過。通過透露他不為人知的秘密捧存，他在我們之間營(yíng)造了奇特的相互信任的氛圍粪躬。他告訴我，他從四歲開始他的繼父就開始持續(xù)野蠻的在身體上虐待他昔穴。虐待的結(jié)果是如此之壞镰官，使得他不得不在八年級(jí)的時(shí)候輟學(xué)，盡管當(dāng)時(shí)他十分的聰明吗货。他花了幾乎20年的時(shí)間重建他的生活泳唠。這也就是為什么常春藤大學(xué)的學(xué)位， 華爾街的工作和光明的未來(lái)卿操，對(duì)他意義重大警检。

If you had told me that this smart,funny, sensitive man who adored me would one day dictate whether or not I woremakeup, how short my skirts were, where I lived, what jobs I took, who myfriends were and where I spent Christmas, I would have laughed at you, becausethere was not a hint of violence or control or anger in Conor at the beginning.I didn't know that the first stage in any domestic violence relationship is toseduce and charm the victim.

如果那時(shí)有人對(duì)我說這個(gè)聰明孙援、幽默害淤、體貼并喜歡我的男人，會(huì)有一天命令我是否化妝拓售，我的裙子能多短窥摄，我生活在哪，要做什么工作础淤，能和誰(shuí)交朋友和在哪度過圣誕崭放，我會(huì)嘲笑你哨苛，因?yàn)槲以诳导{身上看不出一點(diǎn)暴力或者控制欲或者憤怒的預(yù)兆。當(dāng)時(shí)我并不知道币砂，引誘和迷惑受害者是家庭暴力關(guān)系開始的第一步建峭。

I also didn't know that the second step isto isolate the victim. Now, Conor did not come home one day and announce,"You know, hey, all this Romeo and Juliet stuff has been great, but I needto move into the next phase where I isolate you and I abuse you" —(Laughter) — "so I need to get you out of this apartment where theneighbors can hear you scream and out of this city where you have friends andfamily and coworkers who can see the bruises."

我當(dāng)時(shí)也不知道，第二步是孤立受害者决摧∫谡簦康納并不是回到家，向我宣布 “嘿掌桩，雖然羅曼蒂克之類的很棒边锁，但是我們要進(jìn)入下一階段了我要孤立你然后虐待你〔ǖ海”（笑） “所以我要你離開你自己的公寓茅坛， 防止你的鄰居他聽見你的慘叫，我還要讓你離開這個(gè)有你的朋友则拷、家人和同事的城市不然他們會(huì)看到你的傷痕贡蓖。”

Instead, Conor came homeone Friday evening and he told me that he had quit his job that day, his dreamjob, and he said that he had quit his job because of me, because I had made himfeel so safe and loved that he didn't need to prove himself on Wall Streetanymore, and he just wanted to get out of the city and away from his abusive,dysfunctional family, and move to a tiny town in New England where he couldstart his life over with me by his side.

事實(shí)是煌茬，康納在一個(gè)周五的晚上回到家摩梧，告訴我他辭掉了他的工作，他夢(mèng)寐以求的工作宣旱。他說他是因?yàn)槲也呸o職仅父，我讓他擁有了無(wú)比的幸福和安全感，他再不需要到華爾街證明自己』胍鳎現(xiàn)在他只想離開這座城市笙纤，原理那個(gè)充滿虐待的、不正常的家庭组力，搬到新英格蘭的某個(gè)小鎮(zhèn)和我一起在那里開始新的生活省容。

Now, the last thing I wanted to do wasleave New York, and my dream job, but I thought you made sacrifices for yoursoulmate, so I agreed, and I quit my job, and Conor and I left Manhattantogether. I had no idea I was falling into crazy love, that I was walkingheadfirst into a carefully laid physical, financial and psychological trap.

當(dāng)時(shí)，我最不想做的就是離開紐約燎字、離開我熱愛的工作腥椒，但是為了自己靈魂伴侶，我想我需要做出犧牲候衍。所以我同意了笼蛛，辭掉了工作，跟康納一起離開了曼哈頓蛉鹿。我以為自己陷入了瘋狂的愛情滨砍，還不知道我已經(jīng)懵懂的走進(jìn)了一張精心編織的控制你身體、心靈和經(jīng)濟(jì)的陷阱。

The next step in the domestic violencepattern is to introduce the threat of violence and see how she reacts. Andhere's where those guns come in. As soon as we moved to New England — you know,that place where Connor was supposed to feel so safe — he bought three guns. Hekept one in the glove compartment of our car. He kept one under the pillows onour bed, and the third one he kept in his pocket at all times. And he said thathe needed those guns because of the trauma he'd experienced as a young boy. Heneeded them to feel protected. But those guns were really a message for me, andeven though he hadn't raised a hand to me, my life was already in grave dangerevery minute of every day.

家庭暴力模式的第三階段就是開始用暴力威脅（受害者）并觀察她的反應(yīng)惋戏。這就是剛才（我拿出來(lái)的）槍的用途领追。我們剛搬到新英格蘭小鎮(zhèn)——我想，康納應(yīng)該是覺得這里很安全—— 他就買了三支槍响逢。一支放在車子的置物箱里绒窑，一支放在床的枕頭下面，第三支則一直放在口袋里舔亭。他說小時(shí)候的精神創(chuàng)傷使得他需要擁有這些槍來(lái)讓他自己保持安全感回论。那些槍對(duì)我來(lái)說是一個(gè)明顯的信號(hào)，盡管他并沒有拿起槍指著我分歇，我已經(jīng)無(wú)時(shí)不刻不處在危險(xiǎn)的邊緣傀蓉。

Conor first physically attacked me fivedays before our wedding. It was 7 a.m. I still had on my nightgown. I wasworking on my computer trying to finish a freelance writing assignment, and Igot frustrated, and Conor used my anger as an excuse to put both of his handsaround my neck and to squeeze so tightly that I could not breathe or scream,and he used the chokehold to hit my head repeatedly against the wall. Five dayslater, the ten bruises on my neck had just faded, and I put on my mother'swedding dress, and I married him.

康納第一次打我是在我們婚禮的五天前。那是早上七點(diǎn)职抡，我還穿著睡袍葬燎。我正在用電腦工作，想要完成自由職業(yè)撰稿的任務(wù)缚甩，當(dāng)時(shí)我有些煩躁谱净，康納以我的憤怒為借口，用雙手掐住我的脖子擅威，死死的掐著壕探，讓我無(wú)法呼吸，喊不出聲郊丛。他從背后勒著我的脖子 一次一次的把我的頭往墻上撞李请。五天之后，脖子上的十個(gè)手指印剛消退厉熟，我就穿上我媽媽的婚紗导盅， 嫁給了他。

Despite what had happened, I was sure wewere going to live happily ever after, because I loved him, and he loved me somuch. And he was very, very sorry. He had just been really stressed out by thewedding and by becoming a family with me. It was an isolated incident, and hewas never going to hurt me again.

盡管發(fā)生了那些事情揍瑟，我還是相信我們以后能幸福的生活白翻，因?yàn)槲覀內(nèi)绱说南鄲郏惨驗(yàn)?他表現(xiàn)出的深深的悔意绢片。他只是壓力太大了滤馍，婚禮的籌備和我家庭成員的到來(lái)讓他喘不過氣。這是一個(gè)意外底循，而他以后不會(huì)再傷害我巢株。

It happened twice more on the honeymoon.The first time, I was driving to find a secret beach and I got lost, and hepunched me in the side of my head so hard that the other side of my headrepeatedly hit the driver's side window. And then a few days later, drivinghome from our honeymoon, he got frustrated by traffic, and he threw a cold BigMac in my face. Conor proceeded to beat me once or twice a week for the nexttwo and a half years of our marriage.

蜜月期間我又被打了兩次。第一次此叠，我駕車去尋找秘密的海灘纯续，我迷路了， 他（坐在副駕駛座上）不停的打我的頭灭袁，打得如此的使勁以至于我的頭不斷的撞到駕駛座車門的玻璃猬错。沒過幾天，過完蜜月開車回家的路上堵車讓他很煩躁茸歧，他把一個(gè)冰冷的巨無(wú)霸砸在我的臉上倦炒。在我跟康納兩年半的婚姻生活中，我每周都會(huì)被打一到兩次软瞎。

I was mistaken in thinking that I wasunique and alone in this situation. One in three American women experiencesdomestic violence or stalking at some point in her life, and the CDC reportsthat 15 million children are abused every year, 15 million. So actually, I wasin very good company.

我曾經(jīng)誤以為只有我一個(gè)人有這樣的遭遇逢唤。事實(shí)上，每三個(gè)美國(guó)女性中就有一個(gè)曾是家庭暴力受害者或潛在的目標(biāo)涤浇，而CDC的報(bào)告稱每年有1500萬(wàn)的兒童遭受虐待鳖藕，1500萬(wàn)。所以事實(shí)上只锭，我不是個(gè)例著恩。

Back to my question: Why did I stay? Theanswer is easy. I didn't know he was abusing me. Even though he held thoseloaded guns to my head, pushed me down stairs, threatened to kill our dog,pulled the key out of the car ignition as I drove down the highway, pouredcoffee grinds on my head as I dressed for a job interview, I never once thoughtof myself as a battered wife. Instead, I was a very strong woman in love with adeeply troubled man, and I was the only person on Earth who could help Conorface his demons.

回到我的問題：為什么我要留下來(lái)了？答案很簡(jiǎn)單蜻展。我并不知道他是在虐待我喉誊。盡管他用上膛的槍指著我的頭，把我推下樓梯纵顾，威脅殺掉我們的狗伍茄，在高速公路上拔掉車鑰匙，在我為了面試而準(zhǔn)備著裝時(shí)把咖啡粉從我頭上倒下來(lái)施逾，我從來(lái)沒有想過自己是一個(gè)受到虐待的妻子敷矫。正好相反，我是一個(gè)很強(qiáng)硬的女性深愛著這個(gè)飽受困擾的男人汉额，而且我是這世上唯一一個(gè)可以幫助康納面對(duì)自己心魔的人沪饺。

The other question everybody asks is, whydoesn't she just leave? Why didn't I walk out? I could have left any time. Tome, this is the saddest and most painful question that people ask, because wevictims know something you usually don't: It's incredibly dangerous to leave anabuser. Because the final step in the domestic violence pattern is kill her.

大家都想問的另一個(gè)問題是，為什么她不離開闷愤？我為什么沒有逃跑整葡？我有很多的機(jī)會(huì)。對(duì)我來(lái)說讥脐，這是人們問過的最讓我傷心和痛苦的問題遭居，你不能理解，但是只有我們受害者自己清楚離開施虐者是多么的危險(xiǎn)旬渠。因?yàn)樵诩彝ケ┝χ械淖詈笠徊骄褪菤⒌羲?/p>

Over 70 percent of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has endedthe relationship, after she's gotten out, because then the abuser has nothingleft to lose. Other outcomes include long-term stalking, even after the abuserremarries; denial of financial resources; and manipulation of the family courtsystem to terrify the victim and her children, who are regularly forced byfamily court judges to spend unsupervised time with the man who beat theirmother. And still we ask, why doesn't she just leave?

超過70%的家庭暴力謀殺 發(fā)生在受害者結(jié)束這段關(guān)系后俱萍， 在她離開之后，因?yàn)槭┡罢咭呀?jīng)毫無(wú)顧忌告丢。其他可能的結(jié)果包括長(zhǎng)期的跟蹤枪蘑，甚至施虐者再婚之后（仍會(huì)跟蹤）；拒絕經(jīng)濟(jì)支持；欺騙家庭法庭來(lái)恐嚇受害者和她的孩子岳颇。孩子們通常會(huì)被家庭問題法官要求和那個(gè)打他們母親的男人一起度過一段無(wú)人監(jiān)管的時(shí)間≌占瘢現(xiàn)在我們?nèi)匀粫?huì)問，她為什么不逃走话侧？

I was able to leave, because of one final,sadistic beating that broke through my denial. I realized that the man who Iloved so much was going to kill me if I let him. So, I broke the silence. Itold everyone: the police, my neighbors, my friends and family, totalstrangers, and I'm here today because you all helped me.

我之所以決定離開栗精，是因?yàn)樽詈笠淮螝埍┑臍蛲黄屏宋夷艹惺艿臉O限。我意識(shí)到如果我不反抗瞻鹏，這個(gè)我曾深愛的男人會(huì)殺掉我悲立。所以我打破了沉默。我向所有人求助：警察新博，鄰居薪夕，我的朋友和家人，完全陌生的人赫悄，今天我能站在這里寥殖，因?yàn)槟銈兠總€(gè)人都幫助了我。

We tend to stereotype victims as grislyheadlines, self-destructive women, damaged goods. The question, "Why doesshe stay?" is code for some people for, "It's her fault forstaying," as if victims intentionally choose to fall in love with menintent upon destroying us.

我們傾向于將受害者描述成作賤自己涩蜘、輕浮的女人嚼贡，就像新聞中可怕的標(biāo)題所言。 “為什么她要留下同诫？” 問這個(gè)問題的一些人實(shí)際上在說粤策，“這是她自己的錯(cuò)“， 就好像受害者是有意的和意圖摧殘她們的男人相愛误窖。

But since publishing "Crazy Love,"I have heard hundreds of stories from men and women who also got out, wholearned an invaluable life lesson from what happened, and who rebuilt lives —joyous, happy lives — as employees, wives and mothers, lives completely free ofviolence, like me.

但”Crazy Love”這本書出版之后叮盘，很多男人和女人跟我訴說了他們的故事，他們也想告訴別人霹俺，他們從發(fā)生的事情中學(xué)到了無(wú)價(jià)的一課柔吼，他們重新開始了生活——開心快樂的生活——作為員工、妻子和母親丙唧，就像我現(xiàn)在一樣生活愈魏，遠(yuǎn)離暴力。

Because it turns out that I'm actually a very typicaldomestic violence victim and a typical domestic violence survivor. I remarrieda kind and gentle man, and we have those three kids. I have that black lab, andI have that minivan. What I will never have again, ever, is a loaded gun heldto my head by someone who says that he loves me.

實(shí)際上想际，我是典型的家庭暴力受害者培漏， 也是典型的家庭暴力幸存者。 我和一個(gè)溫柔善良男人再次結(jié)婚胡本， 有了三個(gè)孩子牌柄。 我養(yǎng)了一只黑色拉布拉多獵犬，開本田奧賽德面包車侧甫。而我永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)再擁有的珊佣， 永遠(yuǎn) 是一個(gè)嘴里說愛我的人用上膛了的槍指著我的腦袋蹋宦。

Right now, maybe you're thinking,"Wow, this is fascinating," or, "Wow, how stupid was she,"but this whole time, I've actually been talking about you. I promise you thereare several people listening to me right now who are currently being abused orwho were abused as children or who are abusers themselves. Abuse could beaffecting your daughter, your sister, your best friend right now.

此時(shí)此刻，你可能在想咒锻，哇冷冗，這才神奇了，或者虫碉，“喔贾惦，她真蠢胸梆，” 但是在整個(gè)過程中敦捧，事實(shí)上，我在談?wù)摰氖悄闩鼍怠Ｎ腋冶ＷC兢卵，現(xiàn)在正在聽我說話的人中有一些人正遭受著虐待或者曾經(jīng)在小時(shí)候被虐待過，或者你就是一個(gè)施虐者绪颖。虐待可能正發(fā)生在你的女兒身上秽荤，發(fā)生在你的姐妹、你最好的朋友身上柠横。

I was able to end my own crazy love storyby breaking the silence. I'm still breaking the silence today. It's my way ofhelping other victims, and it's my final request of you. Talk about what youheard here. Abuse thrives only in silence. You have the power to end domesticviolence simply by shining a spotlight on it.

我能夠結(jié)束自己“瘋狂的愛”的故事靠的是打破沉默窃款。今天我仍然在打破著沉默。這是我?guī)椭渌氖芎φ叩姆绞诫狗眨瑫r(shí)也是我對(duì)你們最后的請(qǐng)求晨继。告訴別人你今天聽到的。虐待只能活在沉默中搬俊。你有能力制止家庭暴力只需要點(diǎn)亮星星之火紊扬。

We victims need everyone. We needevery one of you to understand the secrets of domestic violence. Show abuse thelight of day by talking about it with your children, your coworkers, yourfriends and family. Recast survivors as wonderful, lovable people with fullfutures. Recognize the early signs of violence and conscientiously intervene, deescalateit, show victims a safe way out. Together we can make our beds, our dinnertables and our families the safe and peaceful oases they should be.

我們受害者需要每一個(gè)人的幫助。我們需要你們每一個(gè)人理解家庭暴力的秘密唉擂。和你的孩子餐屎，你的同事，你的朋友和家人討論這個(gè)話題玩祟，將虐待曝之于光腹缩，幫助幸存者重新找回美好、可愛的自己空扎，重新?lián)碛形磥?lái)庆聘。發(fā)現(xiàn)家庭暴力的預(yù)兆并認(rèn)真的干預(yù)， 減少發(fā)生的可能性勺卢，給受害者提供安全的出路伙判。讓我們攜起手來(lái)，讓我們的床黑忱，我們餐桌和家庭成為它們應(yīng)該成為的安全宴抚、和平的綠洲勒魔。

Thank you.

謝謝。