高一那年第一次聽幫主05年斯坦福大學(xué)演講寸宵，在接下來的半年多里反復(fù)聽到可以直接脫口而出他的原話蘑辑。
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
這個故事比之前兩個來的都要深刻些，但我每每分享出去都覺得特別蒼白牌柄。
直到今天才恍然——
你說著把每一天當(dāng)做最后一天來過多搀，但你潛意識里認(rèn)為自己能活很久歧蕉，所以根本沒有這么做。
在心理咨詢師教材的社會心理學(xué)單元康铭，有個專欄介紹了【中國人的面子】
中國人重視的他人是“重要他人”廊谓，也就是和自己有密切聯(lián)系和利益關(guān)系的人，比如家人麻削、朋友、鄰居和同事等春弥；而西方人重視的他人是“概念化他人”呛哟，也就是一般的人也會對他們的人格形成和行為方式產(chǎn)生影響。因此匿沛，中國人非常注意維護(hù)在重要他人面前的形象扫责，而對于自己關(guān)系不大的人，則不太在乎他們的看法和感受逃呼。
這就是為什么聽了那么多道理鳖孤、喝了那么多雞湯、讀了那么多勵志故事抡笼，卻仍然過不好自己的一生苏揣。
之前讀過一篇名字讓我過目不忘的文章，叫“上進(jìn)女恨不得別人的優(yōu)點都長在自己身上”推姻，與其無謂地羨慕平匈，不如厘清別人哪個內(nèi)在屬性讓我欣賞，然后拷貝過來據(jù)為己有……這句話簡直說到心里藏古。
總是盯著他人的缺點增炭，這說明你的狀態(tài)很糟糕，因為你想通過觀察其他人的缺點拧晕，來逃避自己的愚蠢隙姿，不愿努力的事實。
——尼采
昨晚——馬原考前的最后一夜——看到說說里有人轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)了百度貼吧里一貼厂捞，“考上北大后再體驗高考地域差異”输玷，完完整整看完第一反應(yīng)是連連點頭難怪我等注定平庸……好在及時剎住車，問問自己：我到底是被哪個點hold住了蔫敲？
忙不迭地又去翻《被討厭的勇氣》來定定心饲嗽；我對情緒還是沒什么拿得準(zhǔn)的破解方法，開心還就罷了奈嘿，郁悶貌虾、賭氣、嫉妒裙犹、羨慕等等若是攻上來我必定一絲反擊的空間都無尽狠，一點戰(zhàn)勝的希望皆空衔憨。
我后來給那個同學(xué)回復(fù)了一句，“可能是我們現(xiàn)在還不知道自己想要什么袄膏，所以不管看到什么好的都想要”——就像第一次吃自助餐必然會吃撐——再送三個字践图，“別著急”。到底死賴著還沒到二字開頭沉馆。
在三亞私塾課的時候欣頻老師讓我們閉上眼睛想象自己最理想的一天是什么模樣码党，我一直停留在上午的種種細(xì)節(jié)上，她說差不多繼續(xù)上課的時候我還沒切換到中午和下午的場景……從那至今也有大半年斥黑，也明白了有些事情光想是想不清楚自己到底喜歡什么揖盘，而是要親手去做、親身體驗之后锌奴，身體知道答案兽狭。
幫主和Alan都死于胰腺癌。
武志紅說鹿蜀，癌癥病人多有一個共同特點：特別壓抑自己某一方面的情緒箕慧。這種情緒可能是憤怒，可能是內(nèi)疚茴恰，可能是悲傷……某種重要的情緒產(chǎn)生了颠焦，你拒絕接受，絕對地拒絕接受往枣，并把它極力壓制到潛意識中去蒸健，你成功了，你似乎不再受這一情緒的困擾婉商。然而似忧，這一被壓制的情緒通過身體表達(dá)了出來≌芍龋或許盯捌，癌細(xì)胞便是身體對這一被徹底壓制的情緒的表達(dá)。
身體是我們與自然的最本然連結(jié)蘑秽，但很多人忘了它饺著。
《心靈捕手》中那一長段的湖邊對話讓我難忘——
So, if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on Every art book ever written.
如果我問你藝術(shù),你可能會提出藝術(shù)書籍中的粗淺論調(diào)。
Michelangelo. You know a lot about him: life's work, political aspirations, him and the Pope, sexual orientation, the whole works, right?
有關(guān)米開朗基羅,你知道很多肠牲，他的滿腔政治熱情幼衰，與教皇相交莫逆，耽于性愛缀雳，你對他很清楚吧渡嚣？
But I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling…seeing that.
但你連西斯汀教堂的氣味也不曾嗅到？你未曾站在那兒，昂首眺望天花板上的名畫吧识椰？可是我見過绝葡。
If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy.
如果我問關(guān)于女人的事， 你大可以向我如數(shù)家珍腹鹉，你可能上過幾次床藏畅，但你沒法說出當(dāng)自己在女人身旁醒來時，那份涌自內(nèi)心真正的喜悅功咒。
You're a tough kid. And I ask you about war, you'd probably, uh, throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more onto the breach, dear friends…"
你年輕彪悍愉阎，我如果和你談?wù)搼?zhàn)爭，你會向我大拋莎士比亞力奋， 朗誦“共赴戰(zhàn)場诫硕，親愛的朋友”
But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap…and watched him gasp his last breath, lookin' to you for help.
但你從未親臨戰(zhàn)陣，未試過把摯友的頭擁入懷里刊侯，看著他吸著最后一口氣，凝望著你锉走，垂死向你求助滨彻。
I ask you about love, you'll probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable……
我問你何為愛情，你可能只會吟風(fēng)弄月挪蹭，但你未試過全情投入真心傾倒亭饵，
Known someone that could level you with her eyes……feelin' like God put an angel on earth just for you……who could rescue you from the depths of hell……
四目交投時彼此了解對方的心，好比上帝安排天使下凡只獻(xiàn)給你梁厉，把你從地獄深淵拯救出來
And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel……to have that love for her, be there forever…through anything…through cancer.
對她百般關(guān)懷的感受你也從未體會辜羊，你從未對她情深款款矢志廝守，明知她患了絕癥也再所不惜词顾，你從未嘗試過痛失摯愛的感受八秃。
And you wouldn't know about sleeping sittin' up in a hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you.
你也從未經(jīng)歷過在她的病床前堅定不移地陪伴，緊握著她的纖手肉盹，因為醫(yī)生知道你根本就不在乎“探訪時間”的明文約束昔驱。
You don't know about real loss……'cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much.
你并沒有體會過“失去”的真正意義...因為只有在你愛某人甚于自身時才會領(lǐng)悟。我懷疑你從未付出過這樣的愛上忍。
I look at you.I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared-shitless kid.
現(xiàn)在我看著你骤肛，眼前所見并非一位聰敏、自信的男人窍蓝，而是一個無恥狂妄腋颠、內(nèi)心恐懼的孩子
But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you.
但是你是個天才，威爾吓笙。這是毋庸置疑的淑玫。沒人可以完全認(rèn)識到你的深度。
But you presume to know everything about me, because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin' life apart.
但是你在我的油畫上瞥過一眼、就以為了解了我的一切混移？你的狂言糟蹋了我的人生祠墅！
You're an orphan, right? Do you think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been? How you feel? Who you are? Because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you?
你是個孤兒吧？但你認(rèn)為我能看穿你的悲慘生活歌径、認(rèn)識你的全部毁嗦，僅僅因為我讀過《霧都孤兒》？莫非它能簡化你的人生回铛？
Personally, I don't give a shit about all that. Because you know what? I can't learn anything from you I can't read in some fuckin' book.
個人而言狗准，我對此莫不關(guān)心。因為你知道嗎茵肃？我無法通過一些破書來認(rèn)識你的一點一滴腔长。
Unless, you wanna talk about you…who you are. Then I 'm fasciated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that, do you? You're terrified of what you might say.
除非你先談?wù)撟约海嬖V我你到底是誰验残。于是我對此著迷捞附，我愿意來幫助你。但是你并不想這么做您没，是嗎鸟召？你甚至還怕你會被說出來的話嚇到。
After all, have you ever taken it seriously?
Otherwise, you have no right to say so.
