57
我在城區(qū)里遇到了越來越多讓人鬧心的事，都是莉拉讓我看到的東西航瞭，我總是太晚發(fā)現(xiàn)彤恶，而且我自己也卷入了一些復(fù)雜的钞钙、很難厘清的事情。除此之外声离，我還打破了回到那不勒斯時(shí)我給自己立的一條規(guī)矩：不要被我出生的城區(qū)吞沒芒炼。有一天下午，我把兩個(gè)孩子留給了米雷拉照看术徊，我先是去看了我母親本刽，然后，我不知道是為了平靜一下，還是為了緩解一下我的不安子寓，我去莉拉的辦公室找她了暗挑，是艾達(dá)給我開的門，她看到我很高興斜友。莉拉在她的辦公室里炸裆，正在和一個(gè)顧客大聲討論，恩佐和里諾去了一家公司辦事兒蝙寨。艾達(dá)覺得自己有義務(wù)陪我晒衩。她和我聊起了她女兒瑪麗亞，她現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)長大了墙歪，在學(xué)校里學(xué)習(xí)很好听系。這時(shí)候電話響了，她跑去接電話虹菲，一邊叫阿方索：“萊農(nóng)來了靠胜，你出來一下”显矗”我的中學(xué)同學(xué)阿方索露面了浪漠，他的發(fā)型、衣服的顏色霎褐，比任何時(shí)候都要女性化址愿，他帶著一絲尷尬，讓我進(jìn)到一間簡樸的小辦公室里冻璃。讓我驚異的是响谓，我看到了米凱萊·索拉拉在那里。
I got more and more involved in the
? neighborhood that, because of Lila, I had glimpsed, and realized only later
? that I was getting mixed up in activities that were difficult to sort out,
? and was violating among other things a rule I had made when I returned to
? Naples: not to be sucked back into the place where I was born. One afternoon
? when I had left the children with Mirella, I went to see my mother, and then,
? I don’t know whether to soothe my agitation or to give vent to it, I went to
? Lila’s office. Ada opened the door, cheerfully. Lila was closed in her room
? and arguing with a client, Enzo had gone with Rino to visit some business or
? other, and she felt it her duty to keep me company. She entertained me with
? talk about her daughter, Maria, on how big she was, how good she was in
? school. But then the telephone rang, she hurried to answer, calling to
? Alfonso: Lenuccia’s here, come. With a certain embarrassment, my former
? schoolmate, more feminine than ever in his ways, in his hair, in the colors
? of his clothes, led me into a small bare space. There to my surprise I found
? Michele Solara.
我已經(jīng)很長時(shí)間沒有見到他了省艳，我們?nèi)齻€(gè)人都覺得很不自在娘纷。我覺得米凱萊變了，他臉色有些灰暗跋炕，有了一些皺紋赖晶，但他的身體看起來還是很年輕，像個(gè)運(yùn)動(dòng)員辐烂，但尤其不正常的是遏插，他態(tài)度和往常截然不同，他看到我很尷尬棉圈。首先讓我意外的是涩堤，我一進(jìn)去他就站了起來，其次是他對(duì)我很客氣分瘾，但話很少胎围，他以前習(xí)慣沒完沒了地說些戲謔的話吁系。他頻頻地看著阿方索，好像要尋求他的幫助白魂，但很快就把目光移開汽纤，就好像不好意思。阿方索也一樣不自在福荸，他不停用手整理他漂亮的長發(fā)蕴坪，抿著嘴，好像努力地尋找話題敬锐。很快我們的對(duì)話就冷場(chǎng)了背传，在我看來，那些時(shí)刻很脆弱台夺。我變得很焦慮径玖，但我不知道為什么。也許是因?yàn)樗麄儾m著我颤介，他們覺得我沒辦法理解這事兒梳星。其實(shí)，我過去和現(xiàn)在出入的地方滚朵，要比這個(gè)城區(qū)的小房間前衛(wèi)多了冤灾，我什么沒見過，我還寫了一本在國外備受關(guān)注的書辕近，說的就是性別界限多么容易打破韵吨。我簡直要脫口而出：假如我沒搞錯(cuò)的話，你們是情人移宅！我沒那么說学赛，只是我害怕我誤解了莉拉的意思。但我也無法容忍冷場(chǎng)的局面吞杭，我說了很多，想把話題引到他們身上变丧。
I hadn’t seen him for a long time, and an
? unease took possession of all three of us. Michele seemed very changed. He
? had gone gray, and his face was lined, although his body was still young and
? athletic. But the oddest thing was that he appeared to be embarrassed by my
? presence, and behaved in a completely uncharacteristic way. First of all he
? stood up when I entered. Then he was polite but said very little, his usual
? teasing patter had disappeared. He kept looking at Alfonso as if he were
? seeking help, then immediately looked away, as if merely looking at him could
? be compromising. And Alfonso was just as uncomfortable. He kept smoothing his
? long hair, he smacked his lips in search of something to say, and the
? conversation soon languished. The moments seemed fragile to me. I became
? nervous, but I didn’t know why. Maybe it annoyed me that they were
? hiding—from me, no less, as if I couldn’t understand; from me, who had
? frequented and did frequent circles more progressive than that little
? neighborhood room, who had written a book praised even abroad on how brittle
? sexual identities were. On the tip of my tongue was the wish to exclaim: If
? I’ve understood correctly, you are lovers. I didn’t do it only out of fear of
? having mistaken Lila’s hints. But certainly I couldn’t bear the silence and I
? talked a lot, pushing the conversation in that direction.
我對(duì)米凱萊說：
I said to Michele:
“吉耀拉跟我說芽狗，你們分開了⊙髋睿”
“Gigliola told me you’re separated.”
“是的童擎。”
“Yes.”
“我也離婚了攻晒」烁矗”
“I’m also separated.”
“我知道，我也知道你現(xiàn)在和誰在一起鲁捏⌒驹遥”
“I know, and I also know you you’re
? with.”
“你從來都不喜歡尼諾。”
“You never liked Nino.”
“是呀假丧，我是不喜歡他双揪，但人們應(yīng)該做自己想做的事情，否則的話包帚，會(huì)生病的渔期。”
“No, but people have to do what they feel
? like, otherwise they get sick.”
“你還住在波西利波渴邦？”
“Are you still in Posillipo?”
這時(shí)候疯趟，阿方索很熱情地插了一句：
Alfonso interrupted enthusiastically:
“是的，那里視野很美谋梭⌒啪”
“Yes, and the view is fabulous.”
米凱萊有些厭煩地看了他一眼，說：
Michele looked at him with irritation, he
? said:
“我在那兒住得還好章蚣≌酒郏”
“I’m happy there.”
我說：
I answered:
“一個(gè)人住，永遠(yuǎn)都不可能好纤垂》撸”
“People are never happy alone.”
“寧缺毋濫∏吐伲”他回答說贾虽。
“Better alone than in bad company,” he
? answered.
阿方索應(yīng)該已經(jīng)覺察到了，我在找機(jī)會(huì)說一些米凱萊不愛聽的話吼鱼，他想把我的注意力吸引到他身上蓬豁。
Alfonso must have perceived that I was
? looking for a chance to say something unpleasant to Michele and he tried to
? focus my attention on himself.
他感嘆了一句：
He exclaimed:
“我也要和瑪麗莎離婚了」剿啵”他說完這句話之后躺枕，非常詳細(xì)地說了他和妻子之間的爭吵，都是為了錢的事兒不皆。他從來都沒提到愛情魄懂、性，也沒提到她的背叛斗忌。他就這樣說了一陣子錢的事兒质礼。他閃爍其詞地提到了斯特凡諾，只是說织阳，瑪麗莎把他從艾達(dá)手上搶了過來（女人搶別人的男人眶蕉，都是那么肆無忌憚，非但沒什么顧忌唧躲，還心安理得）造挽。在他嘴里碱璃，他妻子就像一個(gè)熟人，可以用戲謔的語氣來談?wù)摴粝堋Ｋχf厘贼，想想看，真熱鬧笆ブ簟嘴秸！艾達(dá)從莉拉手上把斯特凡諾搶了過來，瑪麗莎現(xiàn)在又從艾達(dá)手上把他搶了過來庇谆，哈哈哈岳掐。
“And I am about to separate from Marisa.”
? And he related in great detail certain quarrels with his wife on money
? matters. He never mentioned love, sex, or even her infidelities. Instead he
? continued to insist on the money, he spoke obscurely of Stefano and alluded
? only to the fact that Marisa had pushed out Ada (Women take men away from
? other women without any scruples, in fact with great satisfaction). His wife,
? in his words, seemed no more than an acquaintance whose doings could be
? talked about with irony. Think what a waltz, he said, laughing—Ada took
? Stefano from Lila and now Marisa is taking him away from her, hahaha.
聽他說這些的時(shí)候，我逐漸發(fā)現(xiàn)饭耳，就好像我把他從一個(gè)深井里拉了上來串述，我們現(xiàn)在又像當(dāng)時(shí)坐同桌時(shí)那么親密。但只有這時(shí)候寞肖，我才發(fā)現(xiàn)纲酗，我過去從來都沒覺察到他的不同，我當(dāng)時(shí)對(duì)他產(chǎn)生了感情新蟆，正是因?yàn)樗推渌行圆灰粯用偕蓿谋憩F(xiàn)不像城區(qū)一般男性。現(xiàn)在琼稻，當(dāng)他說話時(shí)吮螺，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我們的那種聯(lián)系還沒斷。米凱萊依然讓我很厭煩帕翻，他說了幾句關(guān)于瑪麗莎的話鸠补，很粗俗，阿方索的絮叨讓他失去了耐性嘀掸。后來紫岩，他幾乎是帶著怒氣打斷了阿方索的話（“你讓我跟萊農(nóng)說兩句吧”）。他問了我母親的情況睬塌，他知道我母親生病了被因。阿方索不說話了，他的臉馬上紅了衫仑，我開始說了我母親的一些情況，強(qiáng)調(diào)她很操心我的兩個(gè)弟弟堕花。我說：
I sat listening and slowly
? rediscovered—but as if I were dragging it up from a deep well—the old
? solidarity of the time when we sat at the same desk. Yet only then did I
? understand that even if I had never been aware that he was different, I was
? fond of him precisely because he wasn’t like the other boys, precisely
? because of that peculiar alienation from the male behaviors of the
? neighborhood. And now, as he spoke, I discovered that that bond endured.
? Michele, on the other hand, annoyed me more than ever. He muttered some
? vulgarities about Marisa, he was impatient with Alfonso’s conversation, at a
? certain point he interrupted in the middle of a sentence almost angrily (Will
? you let me have a word with Lenuccia?) and asked about my mother, he knew she
? was ill. Alfonso became suddenly silent, blushing. I started talking about my
? mother, purposely emphasizing how worried she was about my brothers. I said:
“佩佩和詹尼給你哥哥工作文狱，她并不高興≡低欤”
“She’s not happy that Peppe and Gianni
? work for your brother.”
“馬爾切洛有什么地方做得不對(duì)的嗎瞄崇？”
“What’s the problem with Marcello?”
“這我不知道呻粹，你說說是怎么回事兒。我知道苏研，你現(xiàn)在和他也有分歧等浊。”
“I don’t know, you tell me. I heard that
? you don’t get along anymore.”
他幾乎有些尷尬地看著我摹蘑。
He looked at me almost in embarrassment.
“你搞錯(cuò)了筹燕。無論如何，假如你母親不喜歡馬爾切洛的錢衅鹿，她可以讓兩個(gè)兒子去別人的手下干撒踪。”
“You heard wrong. And anyway, if your
? mother doesn’t like Marcello’s money, she can send them to work under someone
? else.”
我?guī)缀跻l(fā)作了大渤，那個(gè)“手下”讓我聽起來很刺兒制妄。我的弟弟在馬爾切洛手下，在他手下泵三，在別人手下耕捞。我的兩個(gè)弟弟，我沒幫助他們學(xué)習(xí)烫幕，現(xiàn)在因?yàn)槲业木壒拾吵椋麄冎荒茉趧e人手下。下面纬霞？沒人應(yīng)該待在下面凌埂，更何況是索拉拉兄弟的手下。我更不高興了诗芜，我想吵架瞳抓。這時(shí)候，莉拉露臉了伏恐。
I was on the point of reproaching him for
? that under: my brothers under Marcello, under him, under someone else: my
? brothers, whom I hadn’t helped with school and now, because of me, they were
? under. Under? No human being should be under, much less under the Solaras. I
? felt even more dissatisfied and had a desire to quarrel. But Lila came out.
“啊孩哑，今天人真多啊翠桦！”她說横蜒，然后她對(duì)米凱萊說：“你要找我談事嗎？”
“Ah, what a crowd,” she said, and turned
? to Michele: “You need to talk to me?”
“是的销凑〈陨危”
“Yes.”
“需要很長時(shí)間嗎？”
“Will it take long?”
“是的斗幼∨熘耄”
“Yes.”
“那我先和萊農(nóng)說⊥闪”
“Then first I’ll talk to Lenuccia.”
他有些羞怯地點(diǎn)了點(diǎn)頭谋逻。我站了起來呆馁，看著米凱萊說——但我用一只手撫摸著阿方索的手臂，就好像為了把他推向米凱萊毁兆。
He nodded timidly. I got up, and, looking
? at Michele but touching Alfonso on the arm as if to push him toward Michele,
? said:
“這幾天浙滤，你們可以邀請(qǐng)我去波西利波吃晚飯，我現(xiàn)在總是一個(gè)人气堕，飯可以由我來做纺腊。”
“One of these nights you two must invite
? me to Posillipo, I’m always alone. I can do the cooking.”
米凱萊張著嘴送巡，但什么都沒說摹菠。阿方索很不安地說了一句：
Michele opened his mouth but no sound
? came out, Alfonso intervened anxiously:
“不需要你做飯，我飯做得也不錯(cuò)骗爆，如果米凱萊邀請(qǐng)我們次氨，我可以來做≌叮”
“There’s no need, I’m a good cook. If
? Michele invites us, I’ll do everything.”
莉拉把我拉走了煮寡。
Lila led me away.
她讓我在她的辦公室里待了很久，我們有一句沒一句地聊了起來犀呼。她也快要生了幸撕，但她的肚子好像已經(jīng)沒那么沉重了。她用兩只手托著她的肚子外臂，用開玩笑的語氣對(duì)我說：“我現(xiàn)在終于習(xí)慣了坐儿，我感覺很好，這個(gè)孩子一直在肚子里宋光，也挺好了貌矿。”她說這些時(shí)罪佳，帶著一種不常見的洋洋得意的神情逛漫，她側(cè)著身子讓我看。她個(gè)子很高赘艳，消瘦的身體曲線很美：她小小的胸脯酌毡，肚子的圓弧，還有背部和腳踝的曲線都很美蕾管。她用一種有點(diǎn)粗俗的語氣說：“我懷孕了枷踏，恩佐更喜歡呢，日子快要到了掰曾，真煩啊旭蠕。”我想，那場(chǎng)地震在她看來是那么恐怖下梢，她期望一切都是穩(wěn)定的、停滯的塞蹭，包括她懷孕的狀態(tài)孽江。我時(shí)不時(shí)會(huì)看表，但她一點(diǎn)兒也不擔(dān)心米凱萊在等著她番电，好像故意讓他等岗屏。
She stayed in her room with me for a long
? time, we talked about this and that. She, too, was near the end of her term,
? but the pregnancy no longer seemed to weigh on her. She said, smiling, as she
? placed her hand in a cup shape under her stomach: Finally I’ve gotten used to
? it, I feel good, I’d almost keep the child inside forever. With a vanity that
? she had rarely displayed, she turned sideways to be admired. She was tall,
? and her slender figure had beautiful curves: the small bosom, the stomach,
? the back and the ankles. Enzo, she said, laughing, with a trace of vulgarity,
? likes me pregnant even more, how annoying that it’ll end. I thought: the
? earthquake seemed so terrible to her that each moment now is uncertain, and
? she would like everything to stand still, even her pregnancy. Every so often
? I looked at the clock, but she wasn’t worried that Michele was waiting;
? rather, she seemed to be wasting time with me on purpose.
“他來這里，不是工作的事兒漱办≌馑ⅲ”她想起了米凱萊還在等著，“他是找借口娩井，假裝談工作暇屋。”
“He’s not here for work,” she said when I
? reminded her that he was waiting, “he’s pretending, he’s looking for
? excuses.”
“找借口做什么洞辣？”
“For what?”
“就是借口咐刨，但你要置身事外，要么你就做自己的事兒扬霜，不要管其他的定鸟，要么這些事兒你不要當(dāng)真，包括去波西利波吃晚飯的事兒著瓶，你也真不應(yīng)該說联予。”
“Excuses. But you stay out of it: either
? mind your own business, or these are matters you have to take seriously. Even
? that remark about dinner at Posillipo, maybe it would have been better if you
? hadn’t said it.”
我很尷尬材原，我小聲說沸久，那個(gè)階段對(duì)我來說壓力很大。我跟她說了我和埃莉莎還有佩佩的沖突华糖，我對(duì)她說麦向，我想去找馬爾切洛談?wù)劇Ｋ龘u了搖頭客叉，又重申了一次：
I was embarrassed. I murmured that it was
? a time of constant tensions, I told her about the fight with Elisa and Peppe,
? I told her I intended to confront Marcello. She shook her head, she repeated:
“這不是你可以插嘴的事兒诵竭，你還是在塔索街上好好待著吧〖娌”
“Those, too, are things you can’t
? interfere in and then go back up to Via Tasso.”
“我不希望我母親因?yàn)閾?dān)心兩個(gè)兒子死不瞑目卵慰。”
“I don’t want my mother to die worrying
? about her sons.”
“你要讓她放心佛呻∩雅螅”
“Comfort her.”
“怎么？”
“How.”
她微笑了吓著。
She smiled.
“說謊鲤嫡，謊言比鎮(zhèn)靜劑還管用送挑。”
“With lies. Lies are better than
? tranquilizers.”
58
那幾天我心情很糟糕暖眼，連謊話都說不好惕耕。埃莉莎把所有事情都告訴了我們的母親，我把我妹妹得罪了诫肠，結(jié)果是她現(xiàn)在不想和我有任何聯(lián)系司澎。佩佩和詹尼對(duì)著我們的母親吼叫，叫她告訴我栋豫，不要跟他們說教挤安，說那些只有警察才說的話。最后丧鸯，我決定對(duì)我母親說謊蛤铜。我跟她說，我已經(jīng)和莉拉談了骡送，莉拉已經(jīng)答應(yīng)我要照顧佩佩和詹尼昂羡。但她能看出我不是那么確信，就陰著臉對(duì)我說：“好的摔踱，很好虐先，你回家去吧，去吧派敷，家里有孩子蛹批。”我生自己的氣篮愉，在接下來的幾天里腐芍，我看著她越來越不安，嘟囔著說试躏，她巴不得早點(diǎn)兒死猪勇。但是，當(dāng)我把她帶到醫(yī)院時(shí)颠蕴，她看起來充滿信心泣刹。
But in those low-spirited days I couldn’t
? lie even for a good cause. Only because Elisa reported to our mother that I
? had insulted her and as a result she wanted nothing more to do with me; only
? because Peppe and Gianni shouted at her that she must never dare send me to
? make speeches like a cop, I finally decided to tell her a lie. I told her
? that I had talked to Lila and Lila had promised to take care of Peppe and
? Gianni. But she perceived that I wasn’t really convinced and she said grimly:
? Yes, well done, go home, go, you have children. I was angry at myself, and on
? the following days she was even more agitated, she grumbled that she wanted
? to die soon. But once when I took her to the hospital she seemed more
? confident.
“她給我打電話了∠唬”她用那種沙啞椅您、痛苦的聲音對(duì)我說。
“She telephoned me,” she said in her
? hoarse, sorrowful voice.
“誰寡键？”
“Who?”
“莉娜掀泳。”
“Lina.”
我驚訝地張大了嘴巴。
I was speechless with surprise.
“她跟你說了什么员舵？”
“What did she tell you?”
“她說讓我放心脑沿，佩佩和詹尼由她來想辦法÷砥В”
“That I can stop worrying, she’ll take
? care of Peppe and Gianni.”
“什么意思捅伤？”
“In what sense?”
“我不知道。但假如她答應(yīng)我了巫玻，那她一定會(huì)找到一個(gè)解決方法§艋悖”
“I don’t know, but if she promised it
? means she’ll find a solution.”
“這一點(diǎn)可以肯定仍秤。”
“That’s certainly true.”
“我相信她可很，她辦法多诗力。”
“I trust her, she knows what’s right.”
“是的我抠∥荆”
“Yes.”
“她現(xiàn)在多美，你看到了吧菜拓？”
“Have you seen how pretty she looks?”
“看到了瓣窄。”
“Yes.”
“她跟我說纳鼎，生下來如果是個(gè)閨女俺夕，就起名叫農(nóng)齊亞，和她媽媽一個(gè)名字贱鄙∪懊常”
“She told me if she has a girl she’ll
? call her Nunzia, like her mother.”
“她會(huì)生個(gè)兒子《耗”
“She’ll have a boy.”
“但假如是個(gè)女兒映九，就叫農(nóng)齊亞∠箍牛”她反駁道件甥，她說這話時(shí)沒看我，而是看著等待大廳里那些痛苦的面孔言缤。
“But if it’s a girl she’ll call her? Nunzia,” she repeated, and as she spoke she looked not at me but at the other? suffering faces in the waiting room.?
我說：
I said:
“我一定會(huì)生一個(gè)女兒嚼蚀，你看看我的肚子就知道了」苄”
“I am certainly going to have a girl,
? just look at this belly.”
“然后呢轿曙？”
“So?”
我鼓起勇氣向她保證：
I forced myself to promise her:
“我會(huì)給她起你的名字，不要擔(dān)心〉嫉郏”
“Then I’ll give her your name, don’t
? worry.”
“薩拉托雷的兒子會(huì)給女兒起他母親的名字守谓。”
“Sarratore’s son will want to name her
? for his mother.”
59
我說您单，關(guān)于這事兒斋荞，尼諾沒有發(fā)言權(quán)，在那個(gè)階段虐秦，光是聽到他的名字我就很生氣平酿。他消失了，他總是有很多事兒要做悦陋。但是蜈彼，就在我對(duì)我母親做出保證的那天晚上，我和兩個(gè)女兒正在吃飯時(shí)俺驶，他意外地出現(xiàn)了幸逆。他看起來很愉快，他假裝沒聽出我的語氣很刻薄暮现。他和我們吃了晚飯还绘，然后逗著黛黛和艾爾莎，講故事哄她們睡覺栖袋，等她們睡著拍顷。他那種輕浮、瀟灑的態(tài)度塘幅，讓我的心情更加糟糕菇怀。他現(xiàn)在露一下臉，但不知道會(huì)消失多久晌块。他害怕什么爱沟？他害怕和我睡覺時(shí)，我會(huì)忽然開始陣痛匆背，然后他不得不陪我去診所呼伸？因此他不得不對(duì)埃利奧諾拉說：“我要和埃萊娜待幾天，因?yàn)樗獮槲疑粋€(gè)孩子钝尸？”
I denied that Nino had a say in it, at
? that stage the mere mention of him made me angry. He had vanished, he always
? had something to do. But on the day I made that promise to my mother, in the
? evening, as I was having dinner with the children, he unexpectedly appeared.
? He was cheerful, he pretended not to notice that I was bitter. He ate with
? us, he put Dede and Elsa to bed with jokes and stories, he waited for them to
? fall asleep. His casual superficiality made my mood worse. He had dropped in
? now, but he would leave again and who could say for how long. What was he
? afraid of, that my labor would start while he was in the house, while he was
? sleeping with me? That he would have to take me to the clinic? That he would
? then have to say to Eleonora: I have to stay with Elena because she is
? bringing my child into the world?
兩個(gè)女兒睡著了括享，他出現(xiàn)了客廳里，他愛撫了我一番珍促，還跪在我面前吻了我的肚子铃辖。忽然間我想起了米爾科，他現(xiàn)在有多大了猪叙？也許十二歲了娇斩。
The girls were asleep, he came back to
? the living room. He caressed me, he knelt in front of me, he kissed my
? stomach. It was a flash, Mirko came to mind: how old would he be now, maybe
? twelve.
“你知道你兒子的事嗎仁卷？”我開門見山地問。
“What do you hear about your son?” I
? asked without preamble.
他不明白我說什么犬第，當(dāng)然了锦积，他以為我說的是肚子里的孩子，他很茫然地微笑了歉嗓。這時(shí)候我打破了我答應(yīng)自己的事情丰介，跟他明說了：
He didn’t understand, naturally, he
? thought I was talking about the child I had in my belly, and he smiled,
? disoriented. Then I explained, with pleasure breaking the promise I had long
? ago made to myself:
“我說的是西爾維亞的兒子米爾科，我見到他了鉴分，他長得和你一模一樣哮幢。但你呢？他認(rèn)他了嗎志珍？你照顧過他嗎家浇？”
“I mean Silvia’s child, Mirko. I’ve seen
? him, he’s identical to you. But you? Did you acknowledge him? Have you ever
? had anything to do with him?”
他的眉頭皺了起來，然后站起身來碴裙。
He frowned, he got up.
“有時(shí)候，我真不知道拿你怎么辦点额√蛑辏”他小聲說。
“Sometimes I don’t know what to do with
? you,” he murmured.
“你想拿我怎么辦还棱？告訴我载慈。”
“Do what? Explain.”
“你是一個(gè)聰明女人珍手，但有時(shí)候你就像變了一個(gè)人办铡。”
“You’re an intelligent woman, but every
? so often you become another person.”
“也就是說琳要？無理取鬧寡具？很愚蠢？”
“What do you mean? Unreasonable? Stupid?”
他笑了一下稚补，做了一個(gè)動(dòng)作童叠，就像要趕走一只討厭的飛蟲。
He gave a small laugh and made a gesture
? as if to brush off an annoying insect.
“你太聽莉娜的話了课幕∠锰常”
“You pay too much attention to Lina.”
“這和莉娜有什么關(guān)系？”
“What does Lina have to do with it?”
“她會(huì)把你的腦子乍惊、情感杜秸，還有一切都?xì)У舻摹润绎！?/p>
“She ruins your head, your feelings,
? everything.”
他的話讓我徹底失去了耐性撬碟。
Those words made me lose my temper
? completely.
我對(duì)他說：
?I? said to him:
“今天晚上我想一個(gè)人睡诞挨。”
“Tonight I want to sleep alone.”
他沒有抵抗小作，臉上的表情就像是為了安生亭姥，才忍受了很不公正的待遇，他出去了顾稀，輕輕關(guān)上了身后的門达罗。
He didn’t resist. With the expression of
? someone who in order to live peacefully gives in to a serious injustice he
? softly closed the door behind him.
兩個(gè)小時(shí)后，我走來走去静秆，不想睡覺粮揉，我感到肚子一陣陣痙攣，就像痛經(jīng)一樣抚笔。我給彼得羅打了電話扶认，我知道他在夜里會(huì)學(xué)習(xí)。我對(duì)他說：“我要生了殊橙，明天你來接黛黛和艾爾莎辐宾。”還沒掛上電話膨蛮，我就感覺有熱乎乎的液體沿著我的腿流了下來叠纹。我拿起了事先準(zhǔn)備好的包，用手指摁著鄰居家的門鈴不放敞葛，直到他們打開了門——我和安東內(nèi)拉已經(jīng)說好了誉察，她過來開門時(shí)還睡眼惺忪的，但她一點(diǎn)兒也不吃驚惹谐。我說：
Two hours later, as I was wandering
? around the house, with no desire to sleep, I felt small contractions, as if I
? had menstrual cramps. I called Pietro, I knew that he still spent the nights
? studying. I said: I’m about to give birth, come and get Dede and Elsa
? tomorrow. I had barely hung up when I felt a warm liquid drip down my legs. I
? grabbed a bag that I had long since packed with what I needed, then I kept my
? finger on the neighbors’ doorbell until they answered. I had already made an
? arrangement with Antonella, and though she was half asleep she wasn’t
? surprised. I said:
“時(shí)候到了持偏，你幫我照看一下我女兒“奔。”
“The time has come, I’m leaving you the
? girls.”
忽然間鸿秆，我的怒氣和不安都消失了。
Suddenly my rage and all my anxieties
? disappeared.
