? ? ? ? 今天工作上遇見(jiàn)個(gè)難纏的人瞻想，因?yàn)橐稽c(diǎn)小事不爽就被情緒帶著跑压真，給我打了不下十個(gè)電話，我頓時(shí)有種雙方已經(jīng)分手蘑险，男生還被前女友糾纏不休的感覺(jué)滴肿。這促使我思考擺脫情緒控制的對(duì)策，也越來(lái)越理解理性思考的重要性佃迄，很多時(shí)候至少要想明白你的目的是什么泼差。
? ? ? ? 理論總是抽象的贵少，回歸到兒童教育上，都是如何做堆缘。這里分享一封真實(shí)的郵件滔灶，坐標(biāo)美國(guó)，是幼兒園老師給一位爸爸的郵件套啤，里面給出了多種處理兒童情緒的建議∷娉＃花了1個(gè)小時(shí)編輯翻譯潜沦，但愿對(duì)大家有幫助。（以下為郵件）
? ? ? ? 你好绪氛，詹尼佛唆鸡！接著我們之前的談話，這兒有一些方法能幫助麥克斯（和所有的朋友們）在學(xué)校緩解憤怒和傷心的情緒枣察。
? ? ? ? 用語(yǔ)言表達(dá)
? ? ? ? 當(dāng)麥克斯憤怒地抱著手臂說(shuō)不的時(shí)候争占，我們請(qǐng)他用語(yǔ)言來(lái)告訴我們?cè)趺戳耍惺裁次覀兡軒椭男蚰俊Ｓ袝r(shí)候我們甚至?xí)f(shuō)“我們不明白你的意思臂痕，你能用語(yǔ)言告訴我嗎？那樣我才知道要怎么幫你 ”猿涨。有時(shí)他還是會(huì)拒絕表達(dá)他的感受握童，也不愿意告訴我們是什么事兒讓他覺(jué)得傷心難過(guò)。那我們可以告訴他叛赚，只有等他準(zhǔn)備好告訴我們的時(shí)候澡绩，我們才能幫到他。這種方法可以加強(qiáng)正面行為俺附，而不是負(fù)面行為肥卡。
? ? ? ? 承認(rèn)感受
? ? ? ? 有時(shí)候承認(rèn)他們的感受和幫助他們解決情緒同樣重要。當(dāng)他們叨叨自己的感受時(shí)事镣，我們可以這樣幫他們承認(rèn)感受：“我明白你現(xiàn)在很生氣/很難過(guò)步鉴，謝謝你用語(yǔ)言告訴我×в矗”
? ? ? ? 共同處理
? ? ? ? 當(dāng)我們聽(tīng)他說(shuō)完自己的感受唠叛，我們可以說(shuō)些“我們?cè)趺磶湍隳銜?huì)覺(jué)得好點(diǎn)呢？”之類的話沮稚，大部分這個(gè)年齡段的孩子腦子里都沒(méi)有對(duì)策艺沼，因?yàn)樗麄冞€在情緒中，這時(shí)候我們就能給他一些建議了蕴掏。
? ? ? ? 舒緩情緒的對(duì)策
? ? ? 在學(xué)校我們有本“感受書(shū)”障般，里面講述人們?nèi)绾巫兊蒙鷼夂蛡牡骶ǎ仓v到生氣難過(guò)是可以的，但是尖叫挽荡、傷害別人和摔東西是不可以的藐石。還有一些“感受卡”，上面有圖片描述做什么事能覺(jué)得好一些（比如看書(shū)定拟、抱抱于微、坐一會(huì)兒、深呼吸青自、數(shù)數(shù)株依、玩玩具等等）。
? ? ? ? 提供選擇
? ? ? ? 有時(shí)孩子們失控的時(shí)候會(huì)感到憤怒延窜，可以給他們提供一些合理的選擇（比如我們有感受卡你要不要）恋腕，這樣可以很好地幫他們恢復(fù)到更好的狀態(tài)。這個(gè)好處在于孩子選出的任何一個(gè)選擇都是合適的逆瑞，而孩子通過(guò)做選擇也能有掌控和自由的感受荠藤。比如如果你對(duì)麥克斯說(shuō)“我知道你生氣，你想要抱抱還是自己待會(huì)兒获高？”或者“等樂(lè)高玩具的時(shí)間里哈肖，你想玩這個(gè)拼圖還是想玩橡皮泥？”也有些時(shí)候一些基本的事麥克斯都不想做（比如因?yàn)橥饷嫦卵┮┩馓祝┪覀兙蛯?duì)他說(shuō)“你自己穿還是我給你穿”意思是他能選擇他自己穿或者你幫他穿念秧，如果他不回答牡彻，就說(shuō)明你可以幫他穿。
? ? ? ? 休息一會(huì)兒
? ? ? ? 休息一會(huì)兒也是個(gè)我們會(huì)用的對(duì)策出爹。如何孩子看上去無(wú)比生氣或難受庄吼，并且不想談?wù)摶蚪邮軒椭覀儠?huì)請(qǐng)他去休息一會(huì)兒严就，到舒服的閱讀角坐一會(huì)兒总寻，讓身體冷靜一下。有時(shí)候我們就是需要精神上放松一下梢为，來(lái)緩解環(huán)境產(chǎn)生的這些強(qiáng)烈情緒渐行。有時(shí)麥克斯生氣會(huì)自己解決，他會(huì)說(shuō)“我要去舒服角落待一會(huì)兒”铸董，我特別開(kāi)心他學(xué)會(huì)了應(yīng)對(duì)的技能祟印。他甚至還會(huì)說(shuō)“我好了”，意思是他平靜了粟害，可以參與到課堂中來(lái)了蕴忆。
? ? ? ? 當(dāng)麥克斯生氣時(shí)，在課堂中最有效的辦法是給他一些空間去舒服角待會(huì)兒悲幅。我覺(jué)得這能讓他放松一些套鹅，看一會(huì)兒小伙伴們玩站蝠，然后他又可以開(kāi)心地回到我們的課堂中來(lái)。
? ? ? ? 有時(shí)候一個(gè)對(duì)策在一段時(shí)間會(huì)比其他策略更好用卓鹿，所以多準(zhǔn)備些策略總是好的菱魔。希望這些對(duì)你有所幫助！
Hi Jennifer,
To continue our conversation from earlier here are some ways we support Max (and all friends) when he is feeling angry or sad at school.
-Using your words.
When Max folds his arms angrily or says no, we ask him to please tell us to use his words to tell us what is wrong and how we can help. Sometimes we even add saying, "we don't understand what that means, please use your words so we can understand and help you." Sometimes if he still refuses to talk to us about his feelings or what action may have happened to make him upset we tell him that when he is ready to tell us that is when we can help. That way we are enforcing positive behavior instead of negative.
-Acknowledging feelings.
Sometimes it is just as equally important to validate their feelings as it is to help them to solve them. When he verbalizes his feelings we will acknowledge them by saying something like "I understand you feel sad/angry. Thank you for using your words to tell me how you feel."
-Working together
After we hear from him how he is feeling, we then say something along the lines of "what can we do to help you feel better?" Most times children at this age may not have a strategy in mind because they are consumed by their emotions still. This is when we can help to make suggestions.
-Strategies to feel better
At school we have a "feeling book" that talks about how people get upset or angry and how "it's okay to feel upset sometimes, but it is never okay to scream, hurt others, or break things". Then there are "feeling cards" that have pictures of things to show how they can feel better (such as looking at a book, getting a hug, sitting, breathing, counting, playing with play doh etc.)
-Giving choices
Sometimes children can feel angry if they feel a lack of control, giving a few appropriate choices (like we have with the feeling cards) can greatly help them bounce back to a better self. What's great about this is that the caregiver is giving options where either one the child picks is appropriate, and the child feels a sense of control and freedom by making the choice. For example if you said to Max "I know your upset, would you like a hug or some space" or "would you like to use this puzzle or the play doh while you are waiting for the legos?" There are also times that if Max is refusing to do something that is essential (such as putting on a coat because it is snowing outside) we tell him"you or me." This means that he can choose whether he will put it on or you for him. If he doesn't answer that means you can do it.
-Taking a break is also another strategy we use. If a child seems overwhelmed with anger or sadness and is not willing to talk about it or receive help we ask them to please take a break and have a seat in our cozy book corner to help them calm their bodies. Sometimes we all just need a moment to ourselves to mentally take a break from the environment that may be causing these high emotions. Max will sometimes seek this out himself when he seems angry, he will say "i'm going to the cozy corner" which is great to see he is learning coping skills! He'll even say at times "I'm ready" meaning he feels at peace again to participate in the classroom.
When Max is angry what seems to be most effective to help him in the classroom is having some space in the cozy corner. I think this allows him to take a break and watch his friends for some minutes and then he seems to happily bounce back to our work cycle.
Sometimes one strategy works in a moment more than another, so it's always great to have a bag full of strategies. I hope this helps!
