? ? ? ? ? One reason that it is meaningless is that the parents themselves are unself-disciplined,and therefore serve as undisciplined role models for their children.They are the "Do as I say,not as I do" parents.They may frequently get drunk in front of their children.They may fight with each other in front of their children without restraint,dignity or rationality.They may be slovenly.They make promises they don't keep.Their own lives are frequently and obviously in disorder and disarray,and their attempts to order the lives of their children seem therefore to make little sense to these children. If father beats up mother regularly,what sense does it make to a boy when his mother beats him up because he beat up his sister?Does it make sense when he's told that he must learn to control his temper? Since we do not have the benefit of comparison when we are young,our parents are godlike figures to our childish eyes.When parents do things a certain way,it seems to the young child the way to do them,the way they should be done. If a child sees his parents day in and day out behaving with self-discipline,restraint,diginity and a capacity to order their own lives,then the child will come to feel in the deepest fibers of his being that this is the way to live. If a child sees his parents day in and day out living without self-discipline,then he will come in the deepest fibers of being to believe that that is the way to live.
它們是毫無意義的一個(gè)理由是父母他們自己就是不自律的，因此他們在孩子們面前樹立著不自律的榜樣录语。他們是"說一套袱瓮，做一套"的父母梅鹦。他們可能經(jīng)常在孩子們面前喝醉记某。他們可能當(dāng)著孩子們的面相互毆打苛聘，毫無克制滔吠，尊嚴(yán)和理性医吊。他們可能邋遢不堪碳默。他們隨意許諾卻又做不到贾陷。他們自己的生活經(jīng)常明顯是混亂的，一團(tuán)糟的嘱根，因此他們安排孩子們秩序生活的企圖對孩子們來說看起來是毫無意義的髓废。如果父親經(jīng)常毆打母親，當(dāng)母親因?yàn)樗麣蛎妹枚蛩惺裁匆饬x呢儿子？告訴他他必須學(xué)會(huì)控制他的脾氣還有意義嗎瓦哎？因?yàn)楫?dāng)我們小的時(shí)候，我們還沒有分辨是非的能力，在我們孩童的眼里蒋譬，我們的父母就是上帝般的人物割岛。當(dāng)父母以某種方式做事，在小孩子看來犯助，這似乎是做這些事情的方式癣漆，應(yīng)該做的方式。如果一個(gè)孩子看父母天天行為自律剂买，然后孩子會(huì)從他的內(nèi)心深處感到這就是對待他的生活的方式惠爽。如果一個(gè)孩子看父母天天行為不自律，然后孩子會(huì)從內(nèi)心深處相信這就是對待生活的方式瞬哼。
