Second season second episode,does breast milk taste good?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are showing off Ben to the gang.]

MONICA: (entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)

PHOEBE: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my god, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?

SUSAN: Oh, is he hungry already?

CAROL: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)

CHANDLER: You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)

JOEY: (joins him) I gotta get one, too.

ROSS: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?

CHANDLER: We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?

ROSS: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.

JOEY: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.

ROSS: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.

(They go back into the living room)

CHANDLER: Carol, Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?

CAROL: Sure.

JOEY: Uh, does it hurt?

CAROL: It did at first, but not anymore.

JOEY: Chandler?

CHANDLER: So, uh, how often can you do it?

CAROL: As much as he needs.

JOEY: Ok, I got one, I got one. If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?

OPENING TITLES

[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]

JULIE: Rachel, do you have any muffins left?

RACHEL: Yeah, I forget which ones.

JULIE: Oh, you're busy, that's ok, I'll get it. Anybody else want one?

ALL: No thanks.

JULIE: Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)

RACHEL: (to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.

JULIE: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdales who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?

PHOEBE: I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.

MONICA: Ok, um, I'll go with you.

JULIE: Great.

ROSS: (enters) Hi, honey.

CHANDLER: Hey, sweetums.

ROSS: Hello to the rest.

ALL: Hi!

JOEY: Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?

MONICA: It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?

CHANDLER: Come on, you're going to Bloomingdales with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.

MONICA: But I'm--

PHOEBE: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.

ROSS: So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?

MONICA: Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.

ROSS: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.

MONICA: You're welcome.

PHOEBE: Woof, woof.

[Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling men's cologne.]

JOEY: Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Bijan for men? Hey Annabelle.

ANNABELLE: Hey, Joey. So did you hear about the new guy?

JOEY: Who?

ANNABELLE: Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls just call him the Hombre man.

JOEY: What's he doin' in my section?

ANNABELLE: I guess he doesn't know.

JOEY: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? Hey, how ya doin'?

TODD: Mornin'.

JOEY: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.

TODD: Your territory, huh?

JOEY: Yeah. Bijan for men?

GUY: No thanks.

TODD: Hombre?

GUY: Yeah. All right.

TODD: You were saying?

[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]

MONICA: Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.

PHOEBE: What?

MONICA: We were shopping, and we had lunch.

PHOEBE: Oh, all right. What did I have?

MONICA: You had a salad.

PHOEBE: Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.

RACHEL: (entering) Hey, guys, what's up.

PHOEBE: I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad.

RACHEL: Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?

PHOEBE: Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.

RACHEL: You went shopping for fur?

PHOEBE: Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.

RACHEL: You bought boobs?

PHOEBE: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.

[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]

JOEY: Bijan for men? Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.

ANNABELLE: Oh, actually I sorta have plans.

TODD: Ready, Annabelle?

ANNABELLE: You bet. Maybe some other time?

JOEY: Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. Bijan for men?

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]

CAROL: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.

ROSS: Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.

SUSAN: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.

RACHEL: Oh, this is so cute.

SUSAN: Oh, I got that for him.

ROSS: My mommies love me. That's clever.

MONICA: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju-- Hi, Jew! Uh huh? Uh huh? Ok. Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye.

RACHEL: Did you just say Hi, Jew?

MONICA: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.

PHOEBE: Ben, dinner!

ROSS: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.

PHOEBE: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok.

CHANDLER: What did you just do?

PHOEBE: I licked my arm, what?

ROSS: It's breast milk.

PHOEBE: So?

RACHEL: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.

JOEY: What is the big deal?

CHANDLER: What did you just do?

ROSS: Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?

PHOEBE: You won't even taste it?

ROSS: No!

PHOEBE: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?

ROSS: Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.

MONICA: Hey, where is everybody?

RACHEL: They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?

MONICA: Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.

RACHEL: Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. Here are your keys, hon. Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?

MONICA: You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.

RACHEL: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket

MONICA: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.

RACHEL: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?

MONICA: Judy.

RACHEL: Who?

MONICA: Julie.

RACHEL: What?

MONICA: Jody.

RACHEL: You were with Julie?

MONICA: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.

RACHEL: Oh. Oh my god.

MONICA: Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.

RACHEL: Yeah, right.

MONICA: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out.

RACHEL: Oh, please, you wanted to get caught.

MONICA: That is not true!

RACHEL: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?

MONICA: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?

RACHEL: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdales? Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now.

MONICA: Hi, who's this? Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. Joanna, it's not as simple as all that, ok? No, I don't care what Steve thinks. Hi, Steve.

CAROL: How did we do?

PHOEBE: Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.

ROSS: I did not freak out.

CAROL: Why'd you freak out?

ROSS: Because it's breast milk. It's gross.

CAROL: My breast milk is gross?

SUSAN: This should be fun.

ROSS: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just don't think breast milk is for adults.

CHANDLER: Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.

CAROL: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it.

ROSS: That would be no.

PHOEBE: Come on. It doesn't taste bad.

JOEY: Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh--

SUSAN: Cantaloupe juice.

JOEY: Exactly.

ROSS: You've tasted it? You've tasted it.

SUSAN: Uh huh.

ROSS: Oh, you've tasted it.

SUSAN: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.

ROSS: Gimme the bottle. Gimme the towel.

CHANDLER: Howdy.

JOEY: Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.

CHANDLER: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.

JOEY: Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.

CHANDLER: What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.

JOEY: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.

CHANDLER: All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?

JOEY: Yeah I guess you're right.

CHANDLER: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.

JOEY: I'm gonna do it.

CHANDLER: All right. Now go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.

MONICA: I don't know what else to say.

RACHEL: Well that works out good, because I'm not listening.

MONICA: I feel terrible, I really do.

RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?

MONICA: Rachel, say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?

RACHEL: Yes.

MONICA: It's that terrible?

RACHEL: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually, but now she's actually stealing you.

MONICA: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.

RACHEL: I love you too.

PHOEBE: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. Oh, I really needed that.

MONICA: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?

RACHEL: I'd do anything for you, you know that.

MONICA: I'd do anything for you.

PHOEBE: Wait, wait, wait, wait!

JOEY: Mornin'. I said, mornin'.

TODD: I heard ya.

STORE GUY: All right, everybody, I'm openin' the doors. You boys ready?

TODD: Ready.

JOEY: Yeah, I'm ready.

CUSTOMER: You idiot, you stupid cowboy, you blinded me, I'm suing!

STORE GUY: Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?

TODD: I'm sorry. I am such a doofus. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

ANNABELLE: My god, what happened?

JOEY: These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?

ANNABELLE: Sure.

JULIE: So.

RACHEL: So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?

JULIE: I know, I probably shouldn't even tell you this, but I'm pretty much totally intimidated by you.

RACHEL: Really? Me?

JULIE: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.

RACHEL: Well, you're not totally paranoid.

JULIE: Oy.

RACHEL: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.

JULIE: Thanks. Hey, listen, would you like to go to a movie sometime or something?

RACHEL: Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.

JULIE: I'd love it too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, I'll talk to you later.

RACHEL: All right, Julie. What a manipulative bitch.

?著作權(quán)歸作者所有,轉(zhuǎn)載或內(nèi)容合作請聯(lián)系作者
  • 序言:七十年代末,一起剝皮案震驚了整個濱河市,隨后出現(xiàn)的幾起案子惠毁,更是在濱河造成了極大的恐慌毫蚓,老刑警劉巖,帶你破解...
    沈念sama閱讀 223,002評論 6 519
  • 序言:濱河連續(xù)發(fā)生了三起死亡事件,死亡現(xiàn)場離奇詭異,居然都是意外死亡,警方通過查閱死者的電腦和手機酌媒,發(fā)現(xiàn)死者居然都...
    沈念sama閱讀 95,357評論 3 400
  • 文/潘曉璐 我一進店門,熙熙樓的掌柜王于貴愁眉苦臉地迎上來迄靠,“玉大人馍佑,你說我怎么就攤上這事±嫠” “怎么了拭荤?”我有些...
    開封第一講書人閱讀 169,787評論 0 365
  • 文/不壞的土叔 我叫張陵,是天一觀的道長疫诽。 經(jīng)常有香客問我舅世,道長,這世上最難降的妖魔是什么奇徒? 我笑而不...
    開封第一講書人閱讀 60,237評論 1 300
  • 正文 為了忘掉前任雏亚,我火速辦了婚禮,結(jié)果婚禮上摩钙,老公的妹妹穿的比我還像新娘罢低。我一直安慰自己,他們只是感情好胖笛,可當我...
    茶點故事閱讀 69,237評論 6 398
  • 文/花漫 我一把揭開白布网持。 她就那樣靜靜地躺著,像睡著了一般长踊。 火紅的嫁衣襯著肌膚如雪功舀。 梳的紋絲不亂的頭發(fā)上,一...
    開封第一講書人閱讀 52,821評論 1 314
  • 那天身弊,我揣著相機與錄音辟汰,去河邊找鬼列敲。 笑死,一個胖子當著我的面吹牛帖汞,可吹牛的內(nèi)容都是我干的戴而。 我是一名探鬼主播,決...
    沈念sama閱讀 41,236評論 3 424
  • 文/蒼蘭香墨 我猛地睜開眼翩蘸,長吁一口氣:“原來是場噩夢啊……” “哼所意!你這毒婦竟也來了?” 一聲冷哼從身側(cè)響起鹿鳖,我...
    開封第一講書人閱讀 40,196評論 0 277
  • 序言:老撾萬榮一對情侶失蹤扁眯,失蹤者是張志新(化名)和其女友劉穎壮莹,沒想到半個月后翅帜,有當?shù)厝嗽跇淞掷锇l(fā)現(xiàn)了一具尸體,經(jīng)...
    沈念sama閱讀 46,716評論 1 320
  • 正文 獨居荒郊野嶺守林人離奇死亡命满,尸身上長有42處帶血的膿包…… 初始之章·張勛 以下內(nèi)容為張勛視角 年9月15日...
    茶點故事閱讀 38,794評論 3 343
  • 正文 我和宋清朗相戀三年涝滴,在試婚紗的時候發(fā)現(xiàn)自己被綠了。 大學時的朋友給我發(fā)了我未婚夫和他白月光在一起吃飯的照片胶台。...
    茶點故事閱讀 40,928評論 1 353
  • 序言:一個原本活蹦亂跳的男人離奇死亡歼疮,死狀恐怖,靈堂內(nèi)的尸體忽然破棺而出诈唬,到底是詐尸還是另有隱情韩脏,我是刑警寧澤,帶...
    沈念sama閱讀 36,583評論 5 351
  • 正文 年R本政府宣布铸磅,位于F島的核電站赡矢,受9級特大地震影響,放射性物質(zhì)發(fā)生泄漏阅仔。R本人自食惡果不足惜吹散,卻給世界環(huán)境...
    茶點故事閱讀 42,264評論 3 336
  • 文/蒙蒙 一、第九天 我趴在偏房一處隱蔽的房頂上張望八酒。 院中可真熱鬧空民,春花似錦、人聲如沸羞迷。這莊子的主人今日做“春日...
    開封第一講書人閱讀 32,755評論 0 25
  • 文/蒼蘭香墨 我抬頭看了看天上的太陽衔瓮。三九已至耸棒,卻和暖如春,著一層夾襖步出監(jiān)牢的瞬間报辱,已是汗流浹背与殃。 一陣腳步聲響...
    開封第一講書人閱讀 33,869評論 1 274
  • 我被黑心中介騙來泰國打工单山, 沒想到剛下飛機就差點兒被人妖公主榨干…… 1. 我叫王不留,地道東北人幅疼。 一個月前我還...
    沈念sama閱讀 49,378評論 3 379
  • 正文 我出身青樓米奸,卻偏偏與公主長得像,于是被迫代替她去往敵國和親爽篷。 傳聞我的和親對象是個殘疾皇子悴晰,可洞房花燭夜當晚...
    茶點故事閱讀 45,937評論 2 361