CHAPTER 8

1.9 Own your outcomes.

坦然接受結(jié)果

For the most part, life gives you so many decisions to make and so many opportunities to recover from your mistakes that, if you handle them well, you can have a terrific life. Of course, sometimes there are major influences on the quality of our lives that come from things beyond our control—the circumstances we are born into, accidents and illnesses, and so forth—but for the most part even the worst circumstances can be made better with the right approach. For example, a friend of mine dove into a swimming pool, hit his head, and became a quadriplegic. But he approached his situation well and became as happy as anybody else, because there are many paths to happiness.

My point is simply this: Whatever circumstances life brings you, you will be more likely to succeed and find happiness if you take responsibility for making your decisions well instead of complaining about things being beyond your control. Psychologists call this having an “internal locus of control,” and studies consistently show that people who have it outperform those who don’t.

So don’t worry about whether you like your situation or not. Life doesn’t give a damn about what you like. It’s up to you to connect what you want with what you need to do to get it and then find the courage to carry it through. In the next chapter I will show you the 5-Step Process that helped me learn about reality and evolve.

大多數(shù)時候芽突，生活給了你太多機會決策劲室，太多機會去彌補過失茫叭，如果你做得好，你可能有一個了不起的人生矾利。當然有時事情可能會超出我們的控制—我們所處的環(huán)境庇茫，意外和疾病疙筹，等等—但大多數(shù)情況下即使最糟糕的環(huán)境下我們也能憑借正確的方法取得不錯的結(jié)果沛硅。舉例，我的一個朋友有次吊水摄狱，撞到了頭部脓诡，成了癱瘓。但他接受了處境媒役，并和其他人一樣開行因為從不缺乏通往快樂的途徑祝谚。

c. Distinguish between you as the designer of your machine and you as a worker with your machine. One of the hardest things for people to do is to objectively look down on themselves within their circumstances (i.e., their machine) so that they can act as the machine’s designer and manager. Most people remain stuck in the perspective of being a worker within the machine. If you can recognize the differences between those roles and that it is much more important that you are a good designer/manager of your life than a good worker in it, you will be on the right path. To be successful, the “designer/manager you” has to be objective about what the “worker you” is really like, not believing in him more than he deserves, or putting him in jobs he shouldn’t be in. Instead of having this strategic perspective, most people operate emotionally and in the moment; their lives are a series of undirected emotional experiences, going from one thing to the next. If you want to look back on your life and feel you’ve achieved what you wanted to, you can’t operate that way.

C．在你作為自己的身體的設(shè)計者和你自己身體的工作者之間區(qū)分。對于人來說最難做的事情就是客觀的看待自己（即 他們的機器）他們只想做自己身體的設(shè)計師和管理者酣衷。大多數(shù)人任然只把自己當成自己的勞動者交惯，如果能認識那些角色之間的不同，更重要的是你必須意識到自己可以稱為自己的設(shè)計師/管理者 而不是僅僅是一個被動勞動的人穿仪。你已經(jīng)在正確的路上了席爽。想要成功，“設(shè)計師/管理者 的你”必須成為作為“工作者的你”的真正喜歡的目標啊片。輕視或錯位而不是擁有正確的視角只锻，大多數(shù)人情緒化行動；他們的生活就是一系列的不受引導的情緒化的體驗紫谷，從一件事到下一件齐饮。如果你回顧你的生活，如果你覺得你得到了想要的東西笤昨，你一定不是那樣做的祖驱。

d. The biggest mistake most people make is to not see themselves and others objectively, which leads them to bump into their own and others’ weaknesses again and again. People who do this fail because they are stubbornly stuck in their own heads. If they could just get around this, they could live up to their potential.

This is why higher-level thinking is essential for success.

D．大多數(shù)人犯的最大錯誤就是沒有客觀了解他們自己和他人。這也導致他們一再的被自己和他人的缺點擊敗瞒窒。被自己的頑固思維所擊敗羹膳。如果能繞過這一點，他們就能激活自己的潛力根竿。

這也就是為什么高階的思考是成功的基礎(chǔ)陵像。

e. Successful people are those who can go above themselves to see things objectively and manage those things to shape change. They can take in the perspectives of others instead of being trapped in their own heads with their own biases. They are able to look objectively at what they are like—their strengths and weaknesses—and what others are like to put the right people in the right roles to achieve their goals. Once you understand how to do this you’ll see that there’s virtually nothing you can’t accomplish. You will just have to learn how to face your realities and use the full range of resources at your disposal. For example, if you as the designer/manager discover that you as the worker can’t do something well, you need to fire yourself as the worker and get a good replacement, while staying in the role of designer/manager of your own life. You shouldn’t be upset if you find out that you’re bad at something—you should be happy that you found out, because knowing that and dealing with it will improve your chances of getting what you want.

E．成功的人們都是能超越自己并客觀看待自己，能控制那些塑形的東西寇壳。他們總是能揀選他人的觀點而不是全盤拿來醒颖。他們能冷靜旁觀喜歡的東西—他們的強項和缺陷—并能將正確的人放在正確的位置上以達成目標。一旦你明白了如何做到這些壳炎，沒什么是你得不到的泞歉。你可能只需要學會如何面對自己的真相，動用所有資源處置匿辩。舉例腰耙，如果作為設(shè)計和管理的你發(fā)現(xiàn)作為工作者的你無法很好地完成某事，你需要從工作者角色解脫出來铲球，進行換位挺庞，只需要保持在設(shè)計和管理角色就好。如果發(fā)現(xiàn)不擅長某事也不必難過—該高興點因為你發(fā)現(xiàn)了自己的缺陷稼病，因為知道缺點并很好地處理能幫助你提高成功的機會选侨。

If you are disappointed because you can’t be the best person to do everything yourself, you are terribly naive. Nobody can do everything well. Would you want to have Einstein on your basketball team? When he fails to dribble and shoot well, would you think badly of him? Should he feel humiliated? Imagine all the areas in which Einstein was incompetent, and imagine how hard he struggled to excel even in the areas in which he was the best in the world.

Watching people struggle and having others watch you struggle can elicit all kinds of ego-driven emotions such as sympathy, pity, embarrassment, anger, or defensiveness. You need to get over all that and stop seeing struggling as something negative. Most of life’s greatest opportunities come out of moments of struggle; it’s up to you to make the most of these tests of creativity and character.

如果你為自己無法做好某事而失望，你真是太天真了然走。沒有人是萬能的援制。難道你想在籃球隊有一個愛因斯坦嗎？愛因斯坦也會有糟糕的運球芍瑞，投籃不進晨仑，難道你認為他很糟糕？他會感到恥辱嗎拆檬？設(shè)想下所有愛因斯坦不擅長的領(lǐng)域洪己，即使在他最擅長的領(lǐng)域愛因斯坦也必須非常努力才能出類拔萃。

旁觀他們努力和他人旁觀你奮斗都能激發(fā)自我驅(qū)動的情緒比如同情秩仆，可惜码泛，尷尬，憤怒澄耍，或者防范噪珊。你需要超越所有這些情緒，停止將奮斗看做是負作用的齐莲。大多數(shù)人生中的機會都來自于艱難的時候痢站；恰恰在需要創(chuàng)造力和個性化的時候需要你做到最好。

When encountering your weaknesses you have four choices:

1. You can deny them (which is what most people do).

2. You can accept them and work at them in order to try to convert them into strengths (which might or might not work depending on your ability to change).

3. You can accept your weaknesses and find ways around them.

4. Or, you can change what you are going after.

面臨缺陷你有以下四個選擇：

1． 否認缺陷

2． 接受缺陷嘗試將他們變成強項（依賴于你能力的改變选酗，也許會也許不會起作用）

3． 接受你的缺陷并想辦法繞過他

4． 或者改變自己追求的目標

Which solution you choose will be critically important to the direction of your life. The worst path you can take is the first. Denial can only lead to your constantly banging up against your weaknesses, having pain, and not getting anywhere. The second—accepting your weaknesses while trying to turn them into strengths—is probably the best path if it works. But some things you will never be good at and it takes a lot of time and effort to change. The best single clue as to whether you should go down this path is whether the thing you are trying to do is consistent with your nature (i.e., your natural abilities). The third path—accepting your weaknesses while trying to find ways around them—is the easiest and typically the most viable path, yet it is the one least followed. The fourth path, changing what you are going after, is also a great path, though it requires flexibility on your part to get past your preconceptions and enjoy the good fit when you find it.

4. 或者你可以改變追求的目標

你選擇何種解決方案可能非常關(guān)鍵 對你的生活方向非常重要阵难。你能采取的最糟糕的路徑的第一步。拒絕只能讓你不斷的與你的缺陷沖突芒填，拒絕只會帶來痛苦呜叫，并不會有其他東西空繁。第二—接受你的缺陷并嘗試把他們轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)閺婍棥绻芄苡每赡苁亲詈玫姆椒恕５行┦虑槟憧赡苡肋h不會擅長朱庆，可能會花費大量時間和努力去改變盛泡。而檢驗方法的最佳單一線索就是你一直努力嘗試的事情是否與你的天性一致（及你的自然天賦）。第三-接受你的缺陷并嘗試繞過他—是最簡單也相對典型的可行方法娱颊，然而還有至少一條路可走傲诵。第四，改變你追求的箱硕，也不錯拴竹，經(jīng)管你需要自我變通，并享受我發(fā)現(xiàn)的適合東西剧罩。

f. Asking others who are strong in areas where you are weak to help you is a great skill that you should develop no matter what, as it will help you develop guardrails that will prevent you from doing what you shouldn’t be doing. All successful people are good at this.

F．向那些領(lǐng)域的專家求教是快速客服弱點并幫助自己的很好的技巧栓拜，并能幫助你建立自己的行為準則以阻止你做錯誤的事情。所有成功的人都非常擅長這樣做斑响。

g. Because it is difficult to see oneself objectively, you need to rely on the input of others and the whole body of evidence. I know that my own life has been full of mistakes and lots of great feedback. It was only by looking down on this body of evidence from a higher level that I was able to get around my mistakes and go after what I wanted. For as long as I have been practicing this, I still know I can’t see myself objectively, which is why I continue to rely so much on the input of others.

G．正因為客觀的看待自己非常難菱属，你需要其他的輸入和整個個體的證據(jù)。我知道我整個一生充滿了錯誤和大量的非常好的反饋舰罚。只有從更高的維度觀察我自己我才能與我的缺陷和解纽门，并一起追求我想要的。很長時間我都在訓練自己营罢，盡管這樣我還是知道自己無法完全客觀的看待自己赏陵，這也就是我為什么依舊如此一來他人的反饋和輸入。

h. If you are open-minded enough and determined, you can get virtually anything you want. So I certainly don’t want to dissuade you from going after whatever you want. At the same time, I urge you to reflect on whether what you are going after is consistent with your nature. Whatever your nature is, there are many paths that will suit you, so don’t fixate on just one. Should a particular path close, all you have to do is find another good one consistent with what you’re like. (You’ll learn a lot about how to determine what you’re like later, in Understand That People Are Wired Very Differently.)

h．如果你足夠開放并下定決心饲漾，你幾乎能得到任何你想要的蝙搔。我這么確定并不是想勸阻你追逐你的目標。同時我促請你反思你追求的東西與你是否合拍考传。不論你的天性如何吃型，總有很多適合你，所不必僅固定在一個上面僚楞。當一條路關(guān)閉勤晚，你只需去尋找另一個與你相符的好的就行（隨后你將學習到大量關(guān)于如何確定什么是你喜歡的，并明白人和人之間是多么的不同）

But most people lack the courage to confront their own weaknesses and make the hard choices that this process requires. Ultimately, it comes down to the following five decisions:

1. Don’t confuse what you wish were true with what is really true.

2. Don’t worry about looking good—worry instead about achieving your goals.

3. Don’t overweight first-order consequences relative to second- and third-order ones.

4. Don’t let pain stand in the way of progress.

5. Don’t blame bad outcomes on anyone but yourself.

但大多數(shù)人缺乏面對缺點的勇氣泉褐，同時缺乏這個過程所需的艱難選擇赐写。最終，得到下面的五種決策：

1． 不要混淆你期望的真實和真正的真相

2． 不要為那些看上去需要擔心的事情而耽誤達成目標

3． 不要過于重視第一的直接后果忽視第二和其他后果膜赃。

4． 別讓痛苦擊倒自己

5． 除了自己挺邀，沒人會為你承擔壞的后果