字詞精選
1.He said a little sheepishly.
Sheepishly: looking or feeling embarrassed because you have done sth silly or wrong窘迫地肾档；難為情地脏里；不好意思地
e.g. I grinned sheepishly when I entered the classroom seeing a couple hugging.
2.Everything is a blur.
blur：something that you cannot see clearly 模糊的東西
e.g.If I don’t wear my glasses, everything is a blur.
3.Win/Lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions or personality to get their way.
Be prone to: likely to do something or suffer from something, especially something bad or harmful,傾向于做某事
e.g. A great many children are prone to junk food.
4.Those words raised a red flag.
red flag: If you refer to something as a red flag, you mean that it acts as a danger signal. 危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)；預(yù)警
e.g. A high fever is your body's own red flag of danger.
5.Instead of a sore spot, it became a source of joy and strength to both father and son.
a sore point/spot/subject :something that makes you upset, angry, or embarrassed when someone mentions it類(lèi)似于我們所說(shuō)的“痛處”
e.g. Don’t mention my puppy love; it is kind of a sore spot.
6.Or playing little tin god in your life```
Tin god: someone who behaves as if they are more important or powerful than they really are 自以為了不起的人
e.g. I don’t like the persons who are tin god and look down upon others.
7.If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school.
Apply yourself:? to work very hard on something for a long time
e.g. In order to get a good mark in your final exam, you need to apply yourself.
8.Empathic listening gets inside another person's frame of reference.
frame of reference: a particular set of beliefs, ideas or experiences that affects how a person understands or judges sth(影響人理解和判斷事物的)信仰和準(zhǔn)則
e.g. Everyone has his own frame of reference.
9.I really tried to put myself in his shoes.
in sb’s shoes: in someone else’s situation, especially a bad one
e.g. Put yourself in his shoes, you will understand him deeply.
Summary
From habit 4 to habit 5
Habit 4 ----think win/win is to seek mutual benefit and success in all human interactions, which involves five interdependent dimensions of life. It starts with character that is foundation of win/win, and transfers to relationships which is the ideal springboard for tremendous synergy. Then, from relationships flow the agreements that give definition and direction to win/win. At last, it is fostered in an environment where structure and systems are based on win/win. And it includes process. For the sake of fulfilling win/win, win/win training management and win/win performance are necessary. In addition, habit 5 is the key to strengthen and achieve habit 4. Habit 5----seek first to understand, then to be understood means listening others with intent to understand, not reply----empathic listening, and then being understood. Don’t push; be patient; be respectful.
中文感悟
Habit 4 Think win/win棒掠，”雙贏”闷愤，這是一個(gè)最佳狀態(tài)岗照。但我們的生活中出現(xiàn)較多是win/lose, lose/win, lose/lose, win,但這些狀態(tài)最終的歸宿都是lose/lose摆尝。所以作為有追求有理想的人來(lái)說(shuō)多艇，win/win是要必備的逻恐，這樣才會(huì)走得更好更遠(yuǎn)。
比如說(shuō)我峻黍，我最初的狀態(tài)是lose/win, 不愿意去和別人爭(zhēng)复隆，別人搶?zhuān)抑幌氚舶察o靜的做個(gè)”美女子”。但到頭來(lái)發(fā)現(xiàn)姆涩，自己好像越來(lái)越渺小挽拂，迷失了自己，被當(dāng)成沒(méi)有能力骨饿，沒(méi)有自信亏栈，很弱的代表台腥。后來(lái)我覺(jué)得這樣子下去是不行的，我開(kāi)始要win/lose,想要贏绒北，想要得到重視黎侈，不要在塵埃里開(kāi)不出花來(lái)。雖然獲得了win/lose, 出了一口氣闷游，但卻局限了自己的成長(zhǎng)蜓竹。所以從win/lose向win/win過(guò)渡，達(dá)到雙贏储藐，才能贏得出彩俱济。
Habit5 Seek first to understand, then to be understood, 最重要一點(diǎn)是empathic listening, 帶著理解的目的去理解他人，而不是從別人的話中找到回答的機(jī)會(huì)钙勃，要認(rèn)真的聽(tīng)蛛碌，而不是認(rèn)真的從自己角度出發(fā)給出建議。
我們總是喜歡以"我是為你好"的態(tài)度去溝通辖源，實(shí)質(zhì)上是這只是自己的"一面之詞"蔚携，是根據(jù)自己的情況而言，根本就沒(méi)有理解到對(duì)方的真實(shí)需求與感受克饶，沒(méi)有站在對(duì)方的角度來(lái)看待問(wèn)題酝蜒，去切身體會(huì)，最后是你在"苦口婆心"矾湃，但根本打不動(dòng)不了別人的心亡脑。就如我有一個(gè)很要好的朋友，我總是勸他多閱讀邀跃，不要老是一有時(shí)間就玩游戲霉咨。以"為他好"的理由，不斷的跟他說(shuō)拍屑，多閱讀可以自我提升途戒，但最后發(fā)現(xiàn)根本就沒(méi)有用處，他就是左耳進(jìn)僵驰，右耳出∨缯現(xiàn)在我明白，我是以自身的角度去站在他的處境上蒜茴，我認(rèn)為閱讀不可或缺星爪，所以多閱讀總是有好處的。但我并沒(méi)理解他矮男，沒(méi)有明白他不喜歡閱讀移必，所以再怎么努力也是徒勞一場(chǎng)。
要先有共鳴的理解毡鉴，才能處理好一切的事情崔泵。
