Today, I found out I'm allergic to soil, pollen, dust, mold, the colors green, yellow, orange, black and grey, most metals, wood, carpet, drywall, most hygiene and beauty products, and plastic. Basically, I was told to avoid the entire planet and everything man-made. FML
今天，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我的土壤，花粉，灰塵，霉菌過敏的顏色训措，綠色，黃色，橙色绩鸣，黑色和灰色怀大，大多數(shù)金屬，木材呀闻，地毯化借，石膏板，大多數(shù)衛(wèi)生和美容產(chǎn)品捡多，塑料蓖康。基本上垒手，我被告知要避免整個星球和一切人造蒜焊。FML
Today, after finally breaking my addiction to sleeping pills, right as I was drifting off to sleep at my first decent drug-free time in over 4 years... I got the hiccups. FML
我患有比較嚴(yán)重的失眠癥，四年來一直需要服用安眠藥才能睡著科贬，此為前提泳梆，就在今天我的失眠癥終于治好了可以不需要再繼續(xù)服用安眠藥，現(xiàn)在榜掌，我患有持續(xù)性的打嗝优妙，我操。FML
Today, I learned the hard way why no matter how constipated you are, it is never a good idea to use a suppository when you are tired. FML
直白型：如果你有便秘憎账，那么千萬不要在累的要睡著的時候往屁股里面塞栓劑套硼，別問我怎么知道的，老子現(xiàn)在在洗褲子胞皱，全是屎邪意，我操。 文雅型：如果你有便秘朴恳，千萬不要在很累的時候用栓劑抄罕，不然我保證你會終身難忘。于颖。。FML
Today, I was on my motorbike, riding through town, when a bird collided with my crash helmet. I lost my balance, and fell. As a result: a leg, a rib and a wrist of mine were broken. The EMT guy helpfully reassured me that the pigeon was A-OK. FML
今天嚷兔，我騎著摩托車森渐，穿過小鎮(zhèn)，一只鴿子撞上了我的頭盔上冒晰。老子一下就甩出去了同衣。結(jié)果：一條腿，一根肋骨和一只手腕斷了壶运。EMT（緊急救護(hù)員）的哥們讓我放心耐齐，說鴿子沒有收到任何損傷。FML
Today, the unhealthiest person I know, weighing in at around 350 pounds told me she was now a vegan. I then told her the Cheese-Itz, as well as the leather boots she was wearing wasn't vegan. She said I was wrong. I'm a nutritionist. FML
今天，我知道最不健康的人埠况，在大約350磅重的告訴我耸携，她現(xiàn)在是一個素食主義者。然后我告訴她奶酪的界面辕翰，以及皮靴她穿的是不是素食主義者夺衍。她說我錯了。我是一個營養(yǎng)師喜命。FML
