3

The Subtext of Seduction

誘惑的潛臺詞

1. For those in love with certainty, seduction is no territory in which to stray. Every smile and word lead to a dozen if not twelve thousand possibilities. Remarks that in normal life (that is, life without love) can be taken at face value now exhaust dictionaries with their possible meanings. And for the seducer, the doubts reduce themselves to a central question, faced with the trepidation of a criminal awaiting sentence: Does s/he, or does s/he not, desire me? 對于墜入情網(wǎng)的人們而言橡娄，戀人的任何言行舉止似乎都有了潛臺詞口四。每一點微笑的意蘊渠鸽、每一個詞語的含義都如一條小路，通向即使沒有一萬二千個，至少也有十二個湿弦。日常生活中（即沒有愛情的生活）可以按其表面意義理解的姿勢和話語涣楷，現(xiàn)在卻要窮盡詞典可能有的所有釋義。至少對傾慕者而言欲虚，所有的疑慮都歸結(jié)到一個中心問題，如同罪人驚惶地等待判決一般：她/他喜歡我嗎悔雹？

2. The thought of Chloe did not stop haunting me in the days that followed our encounter. Though under pressure to complete plans for an office building near King's Cross, my mind drifted irresponsibly but irresistibly back to her. I felt the need to circle around the object of my adoration, she kept breaking into consciousness with the urgency of a matter that had to be addressed, though my thoughts had no point to them, they were (objectively speaking) utterly devoid of interest. Some of these Chloe-dreams ran like this, 'Oh, how sweet she is, how nice it would be to...'隨后的日子里复哆，我對克洛艾的思念總是縈繞心頭，無法抑止腌零。這是莫名的思念梯找，惟一能夠理解的解釋就在于所思念之人本身（從而回應(yīng)了蒙田對于他和拉博埃西的友誼所作的闡述；因為她是她益涧，我是我）锈锤。盡管國王十字路口附近的辦公室工程設(shè)計工作壓力很大，然而思緒還是任性地、不可抗拒地漂移到她那里牙咏。我得把這仰慕的對象予以限制臼隔。盡管思念不是我工作日程的一部分，（客觀地說）沒有任何樂趣妄壶，缺少發(fā)展變化摔握，沒有意義，只是純粹的渴望丁寄，但她總是侵入我的意識之中氨淌，干擾我辦理要緊事務(wù)。這些以克洛艾為內(nèi)容的思緒就是：啊伊磺，她多么好盛正；如果能……該多好啊。

Others were more visual:

(i) Chloe framed by the aircraft window

(ii) Her watery green eyes

(iii) Her teeth biting briefly into her lower lip

(iv) The tilt of her neck when yawning

(v) The gap between her two front teeth

其他則是一些定格的意象：

［1］ 克洛艾靠在機窗邊的身姿

［2］ 她水靈的綠色眼眸

［3］ 她輕嚙下唇的牙齒

［4］ 她說“那很奇怪”時的口音

［5］ 她打哈欠時脖頸的偏斜

［6］ 她兩個門齒之間的縫隙

［7］ 她握手的姿態(tài)

3. If only I had summoned such diligence for her phone number, for the digits had altogether evaporated from my memory (a memory that felt its time better spent replaying images of Chloe's lower lip). Was it 她的電話號碼的數(shù)字組合已經(jīng)不幸被我忘得一干二凈（記憶更愿意重復(fù)克洛艾的下唇）屑埋，如果當時意識能夠?qū)Ｗ⒂谒鼈冊摱嗪冒『荔荨Ｌ柎a是

(071)

607 9187

609 7187

601 7987

690 7187

610 7987

670 9817

687 7187 ?

中的哪一個呢？

4. The search began badly 607 9187 was not the beloved's abode but a funeral parlour off Upper Street, though the establishment didn't reveal itself to be one until the end of a trying conversation, in the course of which I learnt that After Life also had an employee called Chloe, who was summoned to the phone and spent agonizing minutes trying to place my name (eventually identifying me as a customer who had made inquiries into urns) before the confusion of names was cleared up and I hung up, red-faced, drenched with sweat, nearer death than life.第一個電話沒有回應(yīng)我的欲望摘能，反而傳達了癡情的風(fēng)險续崖。6097187打到的不是心上人的住所，而是離北街不遠的一個殯儀館——起初并不知道团搞，直至一場亂七八糟的交談之后严望，我才弄清那兒也有一個職員叫克洛艾。她被叫來接聽電話逻恐，花了好幾分鐘試圖把我的名字對號入座（最終還是把我當作曾咨詢過喪葬事宜的顧客）像吻。我掛上了電話，面色潮紅复隆，衣衫濕透拨匆，簡直半死不活了。

5.When I finally reached my Chloe at work the following day, she too seemed to have relegated me to the next world. 'Things are crazy around here now. Can you hold for a minute?' she asked secretarially.

I held, offended. Whatever intimacy I had imagined, back in office space, we were strangers.

'Listen, I'm sorry,' she said, coming back on the line, 'I can't talk now, we're rushing to get a supplement off to press tomorrow. Can I call you back? I'll try to reach you either at home or in the office when things calm down.'第二天昏名，當我終于撥對了克洛艾的電話時涮雷，正在上班的她似乎也將我忘到了九霄云外（把我忘到哪兒去了阵面？我無法想象）轻局。

“我這里情況糟透了，請你等一下好嗎样刷？”她用秘書小姐的口吻對我說仑扑。

我拿著聽筒，心里很不是滋味置鼻≌蛞縱使我曾幻想我們之間如何親密，然而回到現(xiàn)實空間箕母，我們只是陌生人储藐。

我的渴望粗魯?shù)卦匠隽朔秶慵茫秩肟寺灏墓ぷ鲿r間，它并不受歡迎钙勃。

“喂蛛碌，對不起，”她回到電話那頭辖源，說道蔚携，“我現(xiàn)在確實沒時間。我們正在準備一期增刊克饶，明天要出版酝蜒。我到時候給你回電話好嗎？等事情消停下來矾湃，我會盡量在家或辦公室里給你打電話亡脑，好嗎？”

6.The telephone becomes an instrument of torture in the demonic hands of a beloved who doesn't ring. 心上人不給我打電話邀跃，電話成了她魔手中的一件刑具远豺。

故事的發(fā)生與否為打電話的人所操縱，接聽者失去了敘說的主動性坞嘀，只能在電話打來時跟隨躯护、回應(yīng)。電話將我置于被動的角色丽涩。從電話交流的傳統(tǒng)性別習(xí)慣來看棺滞，我像是等待電話的女性，克洛艾則成了撥打電話的男性矢渊。這迫使我時刻準備接聽她的電話继准，因此我的行動被賦予了難以忍受的目的論色彩。電話機的塑料外殼矮男、易用的撥號鍵移必、色彩的設(shè)計，所有這些都顯示不出隱藏在它的神秘之下的殘酷毡鉴，也缺少它將于何時獲得生命（我也如此）的線索崔泵。

我寧愿自己選擇了書信傳情。

When Chloe called a few days later, I had rehearsed my speech too often to deliver it correctly. I was caught unprepared, hanging socks on a rail. I ran to the bedroom to pick up. My voice carried with it a tension and an anger that I might more skilfully have erased from a page. Authorship becomes tempting to those who can't speak.當她一周后打來電話時猪瞬，我已經(jīng)把要說的話排練了太多次憎瘸，以至一時語塞。我毫無準備陈瘦，光著身子從浴室走出來幌甘，用棉球擦著耳孔，同時還留心著浴室里的流水。我跑到臥室里的電話旁锅风。除非爛熟于胸而且已經(jīng)演練過酥诽，否則我的言語永遠如同初稿一般。我的話音夾雜了一點緊張皱埠，一點興奮盆均，還有一點慍怒。如果換作寫信漱逸，我也許可以熟練地把這一切給消除掉泪姨。但是電話沒有文字處理程序，說話者只有一次機會饰抒。

'What a surprise to hear from you,' I said unconvincingly. 'We must have lunch some time.'“很高興你打來電話肮砾，”我笨笨地說，“一起吃頓午飯或晚餐吧袋坑，或做點別的什么你感興趣的仗处。”在說第二個“或”的時候枣宫，我的聲音都啞了婆誓。這語句本可以如演講一般無懈可擊，創(chuàng)作者（那些人無法將要說的話付諸筆端）本可以周密詳實也颤，語法精確洋幻。然而現(xiàn)在創(chuàng)作者沒了，只剩下一個結(jié)結(jié)巴巴的說話人翅娶，錯漏百出文留、詞匯貧乏、嗓音嘶啞竭沫。

'Lunch. Goodness. I really can't this week.'

'Well, how about dinner?'

'I'm just looking at my diary, and you're not going to believe this, but that's looking difficult too.'

'No problem,' I said, in a tone that strongly implied its opposite.

'I tell you what, though, can you take this afternoon off by any chance? We could meet at my office and go to the National Gallery or something.'

“這個星期我真的沒空和你一起吃午飯燥翅。”

“噢蜕提，晚餐怎么樣森书？”

“晚餐？讓我瞧瞧谎势，嗯凛膏，哦（停頓），我正在這兒看我的日程簿它浅，你看译柏，好像也沒空镣煮〗慊簦”

“你簡直比首相還要忙。”

“對不起镊折，事情煩透了胯府。要不這樣吧，下午你有空嗎恨胚？就今天下午骂因，我們可以在我的辦公室會面，然后到國家美術(shù)館逛一逛赃泡，或隨便你寒波，去公園或別的什么地方∩埽”

7. The questions did not let up. What did Chloe think as we made our way to Trafalgar Square from her office in Bedford Street? On the one hand, she had been happy to take the afternoon off to tour a museum with a man she'd only briefly met on an aeroplane over a week before. But on the other hand, there was nothing in her behaviour to suggest that this was anything but an opportunity for a friendly discussion. Suspended between innocence and collusion, Chloe's every gesture became imbued with maddening significance. Was I correct to detect traces of flirtation at the ends of her sentences and the corners of her smiles, or was this merely my own desire projected onto the face of innocence? .我被克洛艾吸引了俄烁。在這吸引中，自始至終都有令我迷惑不解的問題级野，她的每句話和每個動作中不可言說的潛臺詞都讓我耗盡心神页屠。當我們從她在貝福德大街的辦公室去鴿子廣場時，她在想些什么蓖柔？所有的跡象都是惱人的模棱兩可辰企。一方面，克洛艾非常樂意在這個下午與一位男士參觀美術(shù)館况鸣，這位男士和她只是一周前在飛機上有過一面之緣牢贸；另一方面，她的行為舉止無不表明镐捧，這不過是一次關(guān)于藝術(shù)和建筑的理性探討十减。也許這只是友誼，只是女人對男人的一種充滿母性愤估、無關(guān)性愛的關(guān)系帮辟。克洛艾每一個姿勢的意蘊都懸浮在純真和誘惑之間玩焰，滿含令人瘋狂的意義由驹。她明了我對她的渴望嗎？她渴望得到我嗎昔园？她的話尾以及笑容背后有挑逗的痕跡蔓榄，我探察得準確嗎？或者我只是在把自己的意愿強加給這張無辜的面容默刚？

8. We began our visit with the early Italians, though my thoughts (I had lost all perspective, they had yet to find theirs) were not with them. Before The Virgin and Child with Saints, Chloe turned to remark that she had always had a thing about Signorelli and, because it seemed appropriate, I invented a passion for Antonello's Christ Crucified. She looked thoughtful, immersed in the canvases, oblivious to the noise and activity in the gallery. I followed a few paces behind her, trying to focus on the paintings, but able only to look at her looking.每年的這個時候甥郑，美術(shù)館里總是人群熙攘，因此我們等待了一會兒才把外套存放在衣帽間荤西，走上樓梯澜搅。我們從意大利早期藝術(shù)看起伍俘，盡管我的思緒（我的腦袋一片空白，我的思緒不得不自己尋找方向）并不在畫上勉躺。在《處女·兒童·圣徒》前癌瘾，克洛艾說她一直對西紐雷利的畫很感興趣。我便謊稱自己非常喜愛安東內(nèi)洛的《基督受難》饵溅，因為這樣說似乎很合時宜妨退。她若有所思地看著，沉浸在畫中蜕企，全然忘卻了展廳里的喧嘩和人群來往咬荷。我在她身后幾步遠的地方跟著，努力想把精神集中到畫上轻掩，但我無法領(lǐng)會它們的生動萍丐，只有從“克洛艾欣賞著油畫”這樣的情境，我才能了然它們的蘊涵放典。油畫藝術(shù)通過克洛艾的生命逝变，才在我眼中獲得意義。

In the second and more crowded Italian room (1500-1600), we stood so close together that my hand suddenly touched hers. She didn't draw away and for a moment the feel of her skin tingled through me. We faced a painting by Bronzino, An Allegory of Venus and Cupid. Cupid kisses his mother Venus, who surreptitiously removes one of his arrows: beauty blinding love.后來在第二個意大利展室時（1500—1600）奋构，人群更擁擠了壳影。我們一度挨得很近，我的手都觸摸到她的手了弥臼。她沒有退縮回去宴咧，我也沒有。以至有那么一刻（我們目不轉(zhuǎn)睛地看著對面的畫）我感覺克洛艾的皮膚似乎裹住了我的身體径缅。我融化在一種興奮中掺栅，沉浸在一種激動里。然而因為未經(jīng)她的許可纳猪，這興奮并非光明磊落氧卧，這激動也只屬于窺淫癖。而她直直地盯著別處——盡管她也許并非全然不知氏堤。對面是一幅布龍齊諾的《維納斯和丘比特的寓言》沙绝，丘比特吻著他的母親維納斯，維納斯偷偷地拿走他的一支箭鼠锈，美掩住了愛闪檬，象征性地解除了小愛神的威力。

9.Then, brusquely, as though an error had promptly come to light, the hand moved away.

'I love those little figures in the background, the little nymphs and angry gods and stuff,' said Chloe. 'Do you understand all the symbolism?'

'Not really, besides it being Venus and Cupid.'

'I didn't even know that, so you're one up on me. I wish I'd read more about ancient mythology,' she continued. 'But actually, I like looking at things and not knowing quite what they mean.'

She turned to face the painting, her hand once more brushing against mine.

這時克洛艾移開手购笆，轉(zhuǎn)過身來說：

“我喜歡背景中的那些小人物粗悯，那些山林水澤邊的小仙女、生氣的眾神和無名的小角色同欠。你懂所有這些象征手法嗎样傍？”

“不太懂横缔，只知道那是維納斯和丘比特∶”

“我甚至連那都不知道剪廉，你比我強多了娃循。我要是多讀些古代神話就好了炕檩，”她接著說，“我總是對自己說捌斧，要多讀一些笛质，卻從來不抽時間去付諸行動。不過捞蚂，我倒有些喜歡看那些看不懂的東西妇押，就只單純地看⌒昭福”

她又轉(zhuǎn)過臉去看畫敲霍，她的手又一次拂過我的手。

10.Was the hand a symbol (subtler than Bronzino's and less well documented) of desire or the innocent, unconscious spasm of a tired arm muscle? What was I to make of the way Chloe straightened her skirt as we crossed into Early Northern Painting or coughed by van Eyck's The Marriage of Giovanni Arnolfini or handed me the catalogue in order to rest her head on her hand? 她的舉動多少都在暗示點什么丁存。這是一個空白的領(lǐng)域肩杈，你可以隨意賦予它從欲望到單純幾乎任何一種意圖。這是一個微妙的象征（比布龍齊諾的畫更微妙解寝，更少有形文本的證明）嗎扩然，允許我（有如畫中的丘比特）有一天探過身去親吻她，或并沒有什么含義聋伦，不過是疲倦的手臂肌肉無意識的痙攣夫偶？

一旦開始尋找互相吸引的種種跡象，心上人的每句話觉增、每一個行動都會被視為飽含深意兵拢。我找到的跡象越多，發(fā)現(xiàn)里面的含義越豐富逾礁÷逊穑克洛艾身體的每一個動作，似乎都含有喜歡我的潛在證據(jù)——她拉直裙子的方式（我們穿過北歐早期繪畫展室時）敞斋；或她在凡·愛克的《喬瓦尼·阿諾費尼的婚禮》旁的咳嗽截汪；或把目錄遞給我，用手支著頭休息植捎。當我靠近聽她說話時衙解，同樣發(fā)現(xiàn)這里是線索的寶藏——她說她累了，讓我們找張凳子休息一下焰枢，我從她的話語中解讀出某種挑逗蚓峦，我的解讀有誤嗎舌剂？

我們坐了下來，克洛艾伸伸腿暑椰，黑色長襪里面的腿向下逐漸變細霍转，線條優(yōu)美，沒入一雙平底鞋中一汽。我無法用合適的詞匯來描繪她的姿勢——如果在地鐵中某個女人的腿這樣拂過我的腿避消，我不會有任何別的想法——理解一個意思并不貼近其本質(zhì)的姿勢是多么困難啊，只能通過前后聯(lián)系召夹，通過解讀者（我是一個多么有偏向的解讀者把遗纭）來賦予它含義。對面掛著克拉納赫的《丘比特向維納斯申訴》监憎，這北方的維納斯高深莫測地俯視著我們纱意，不知欲偷蜜糖的丘比特正可憐兮兮地被蜜蜂叮咬。愛神的手指被蜇傷了鲸阔。畫中充滿象征偷霉。

Desire had turned me into a relentless hunter for clues, a romantic paranoiac, reading meaning into everything. But whatever my impatience with the rituals of seduction, I was aware that the enigma lent Chloe a distinctive appeal. The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once (we soon feel ungrateful) or those who never allow us to kiss them (we soon forget them), but those who know how carefully to administer varied doses of hope and despair.

是欲望使我成為一個偵探，一個不懈的線索搜尋者褐筛。如果我少一點這情感的折磨类少，就不會注意那些線索；是欲望使我成為一個浪漫的偏執(zhí)狂死讹，要從一切事物中解讀出意義來瞒滴；是欲望將我變成一個符號解碼員，一個地貌風(fēng)景的釋義者（因而是一個潛在的感情誤置的受害人）赞警。然而無論我怎樣迫不及待妓忍，所有問題都有高深莫測的撩人魔力。這模棱兩可不是靈魂的拯救愧旦，就是地獄的懲罰世剖，需要我們守候一生，方能分清笤虫。我期待得越久旁瘫，就越希望我期待的人兒尊貴高尚、非凡無比琼蚯、完美無缺酬凳、值得期待。正是進展受到擱置遭庶，才增加了值得期待的內(nèi)容宁仔，這是即時就得到滿足的興奮所不能給予的。如果克洛艾一下子就亮出底牌峦睡，游戲?qū)⑹攘︳嵘弧o論我多么惱怒進展的擱置权埠，我還是明白，事情需要保持不予言說的狀態(tài)煎谍。最具有魅力的不是那些立刻就允許我們親吻（我們很快會感到無趣）或永遠不讓我們親吻的人兒（我們很快會忘記他們）攘蔽，而是那些忸怩地牽引著我們在這兩極間期待的精靈。

11. Venus felt like a drink, so she and Cupid headed for the lifts. In the cafeteria, Chloe took a tray and pushed it down the steel runway.

'Do you want tea?' she asked.

'Yeah, but I'll get it.'

'Don't be silly, I'll get it.'

'Please let me do it.'

'No, no, I will.'

維納斯想要喝點什么呐粘，所以她和丘比特向樓梯走去满俗。在咖啡廳里，克洛艾拿了一個托盤事哭，沿著鐵圍欄向前推漫雷。

“你要茶嗎瓜富？”她問著我鳍咱。

“要，讓我來与柑“迹”

“別這樣，我來价捧〕竽睿”

“我請你〗狍”

“哎呀脯倚，謝謝，八十便士不會讓我破產(chǎn)嵌屎⊥普”

The game continued for a few more rounds, its vigour apparently accounted for by a mutual, irrational anxiety about the commitment involved in letting someone else pay for a drink. We sat at a table with a view of Trafalgar Square, the lights of the Christmas tree lending an eerily festive atmosphere to the urban scene. We began talking of art, then moved on to artists, and from artists, we went to get a second cup of tea (she won) and a cake (2?), then we digressed on to beauty, and from beauty we went to love.

我們挑了一張可以俯視鴿子廣場的桌子坐下。圣誕樹上的燈光給城市的景色籠罩了一層不和諧的節(jié)日氣氛宝惰。我們開始談起藝術(shù)植榕，而后又談到藝術(shù)家，然后要了第二杯茶和一塊點心尼夺，接著又談起美尊残，從美又談到愛，這時我們不再轉(zhuǎn)移話題淤堵。

'I don't understand,' said Chloe, 'you do or you don't think that there's such a thing as true love?'

'I'm saying it's very subjective. You can't suppose that there's one quality called "love", people mean such different things by the word. It's tricky to distinguish between passion and love, infatuation and love?

“我不知道寝衫，”克洛艾說，“你信不信這世界存在永恒的真愛拐邪？”

“我想說的是慰毅，這是一件非常主觀的事，認為世上存在一種可以客觀驗證的‘真愛’是很傻的。要把激情和愛情敲长、迷戀和愛戀或不管什么事物區(qū)分開來都是很困難的，因為一切取決于你所處的立場吏口⊥程ǎ”

'Don't you find this cake disgusting?' interrupted Chloe. 'We should never have bought it. I mean, you shouldn't have bought it for me. God, I'm so rude.'

'I'll be expecting a written apology.'

'But seriously, if you asked most people whether they believed in love or not, they'd probably say they didn't. Yet that's not necessarily what they truly think. It's just the way they defend themselves against what they want. They believe in it, but pretend they don't until they're allowed to. Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could. The majority just never get the chance.'

“有道理雕擂。（停頓）你不覺得這個點心很難吃嗎？真不該買贱勃【模”

“是你要買的」笕牛”

“我知道仇穗。回到前面你問我的問題上吧戚绕，（克洛艾用手拂弄一下頭發(fā)）嚴格地說浪漫是不是不合時代了纹坐？我是說，如果你直截了當?shù)貑杽e人這個問題舞丛，多數(shù)人肯定會回答是耘子。但這不一定是真的，人們只是把它當作抵制自己真實欲望的策略球切。他們對浪漫有幾分信谷誓，然而卻裝作不相信，直到有一天他們必須得相信吨凑，或被允許相信捍歪。我想如果可能的話，大多數(shù)人都愿意完全丟掉自己的玩世不恭鸵钝，很多人只是永遠沒有機會而已糙臼。”

12.Who were these 'most people' she talked of? Was I the man who would dispel her cynicism? We talked abstractly of love, ignoring that lying on the table was not the nature of love per se but the burning question of who we were and would be to one another.我不理會她話語的表層意義蒋伦，而是探究她的話外之音弓摘。她真正的意思沒有直接表達出來，我在破譯痕届，而不是在傾聽韧献。我們談?wù)撝鴲矍椋业木S納斯隨意地攪動著已經(jīng)冷卻的茶水研叫。但這次交談對我們兩人意味著什么锤窑？她所說的那些“多數(shù)人”指的是誰？我是那個能驅(qū)散她那份玩世不恭的男人嗎嚷炉？這場關(guān)于愛的交談表明兩個參與者之間是什么關(guān)系渊啰？又一次，我毫無線索。彼此小心翼翼绘证，不讓話語涉及自己隧膏。我們抽象地談?wù)撝鴲矍椋瑹o視有待解決的不是弄清愛自身的本質(zhì)嚷那，而是更急迫的問題胞枕，即，我們于對方而言魏宽，現(xiàn)在（以及將來）到底是什么關(guān)系腐泻。

Or was there in fact nothing on the table other than a half-eaten carrot cake and two cups of tea? Was Chloe being as abstract as she wished, meaning precisely what she said, the diametrical opposite of the first rule of flirtation, where what is said is never what is meant?或者，這只是一個可笑的想法队询？除了吃去一半的胡蘿卜蛋糕和兩杯茶以外派桩，桌上真的什么也沒有？是不是克洛艾正像她所希望的那樣抽象蚌斩，表達的正是她真實的想法铆惑？這是不是與挑逗的第一法則——所言非所指——截然相反？

13.Our hesitancy was a game, but a serious and useful one, which minimized offending an unwilling partner and eased a willing one more slowly into the prospect of mutual desire. The threat of the great 'I like you' could be softened by adding, 'but not so much that I will let you know it directly..." Chloe and I were politely sparing each other the need to pay the full price for a candid declaration of love.當丘比特是一個如此有偏向的釋義者時凳寺，當他所期望能成真的夢想是那么明顯時鸭津，要保持冷靜的頭腦是多么困難巴獭肠缨！他是不是在強加給克洛艾一份只有他自己才感受到的情感？他憑著我渴望得到你這一想法盏阶，錯誤地得出相應(yīng)的想法：你渴望得到我晒奕，是不是犯了那古老的錯誤？

14.We helped to define what we wanted by reference to others. Chloe had a friend at work who had a history of relationships with unsuitable types. A courier was the current blunderer.我們參照別人來定位自己名斟∧曰郏克洛艾有個工作伙伴總是愛上不適合自己的人，愛的信使在玩弄這位感情的犧牲品砰盐。

'I mean, why does she hang out with a burly bloke in leather trousers who smells of exhaust fumes and is using her for sex? And that's fine if she wanted to use him for sex too, but apparently he can't even sustain an erection for that long.'

'How terrible,' I answered, worried by the possible definition of the word 'long'.

'Or just sad. One has to go into relationships with equal expectations, ready to give as much as the other - not with one person wanting a fling and the other real love. I think that's where all the agony comes from.'

“我是說闷袒，為什么她要與一個比她笨三千倍的人待在一起，哪怕是一分鐘岩梳。他甚至對她一點都不好囊骤。我跟她說過，那個人與她交往根本就是為了性冀值。如果她的目的也是如此也物，那倒也無所謂。但顯然她不是這樣列疗，因此她簡直把兩個人的生活都搞得一團糟滑蚯。”

“聽起來很可怕「娌模”

“是呀坤次，真讓人難過。一個人得選擇雙方平等對待斥赋、彼此同等付出的關(guān)系——而不是一個只愿及時行樂浙踢，另一個人想要真正的愛情。沒有平衡灿渴，認不清自己洛波，或不明確自己想從生活中獲得什么，或什么都不搞清楚骚露，我想這就是痛苦的源泉蹬挤。”

我們嘗試著給自己定位棘幸，猜測心上人給予我們的定義焰扳，我們以最拐彎抹角的方式行事。我們詢問對方“一個人想從愛情中獲得什么呢误续？”——這“一個人”體現(xiàn)了言語的微妙回避吨悍，避免涉及自己。盡管這種方式可能被當作游戲蹋嵌，卻既重要又有用育瓜。這些疑慮、這種不加定論（是/不是栽烂？）存在一定的邏輯性躏仇。即便克洛艾有一天會表示說“是”，這種先經(jīng)Z再從A到B的過程也比直接的表達更為有利腺办。它把冒犯一個不情愿的對象的風(fēng)險減到最少焰手，使心甘情愿的對象放松下來，更為舒緩地進入共同的渴望之中怀喉。那句偉大的表白“我喜歡你”所存在的危險书妻，可以通過補上一句“但我并不想讓你直截了當?shù)刂馈眮頊p少。

我們進入了一場游戲躬拢，這游戲允許我們隨時全身而退躲履。它的主要規(guī)則就是，在進行過程中必須不留游戲的痕跡估灿，兩位參與者必須全然忘卻游戲的存在崇呵。我們運用語言的普通詞匯，賦予它們新的意義馅袁，拓展了符號和普通意義之間的張力：

代碼　“人們對愛應(yīng)該少一些玩世不恭”

＝　信息　“為了我你放棄玩世不恭吧”

這種類似戰(zhàn)爭中使用的密碼使我們能夠想談就談域慷，不必擔(dān)憂自己或?qū)Ψ降挠槐换貞?yīng)而遭受羞辱。如果納粹指揮官突然闖進屋來，盟國情報員可以輕松地宣稱他們只是在播送莎士比亞的作品犹褒，而不是在傳輸最敏感的文件（我渴望得到你）——因為克洛艾和我實際交談的內(nèi)容并沒有將我們直接牽涉其中抵窒。如果誘惑的信號非常微弱，以至可以被否認（輕輕拂一下手或凝視的時間過長）叠骑，那么誰能說我們甚至是在談?wù)撜T惑李皇？

這是最好的方式；無論何時宙枷，對于兩個通過語言進行漫長而又危險的跋涉去彼此了解的人來說掉房，只有這種方式才會減少他們所冒的巨大風(fēng)險：袒露自己的欲望，又目睹它慘遭拒絕慰丛。

15.Because it was past six and her office was closing, I asked Chloe whether she might not after all be free to have dinner with me that night. She smiled at the suggestion, stared briefly out of the window at a bus heading past St Martin- in-the-Fields, looked back and said, 'No, thanks, that would really be impossible.'

Then, just as I was ready to despair, she blushed.時間已經(jīng)過了五點半了卓囚，克洛艾的辦公室現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)下班。于是我問她晚上是否真的沒空和我一起吃飯诅病。她笑了哪亿，瞥了一下窗外，一輛巴士開過圣馬丁教堂贤笆，然后她回過頭來盯著煙灰缸蝇棉，說：“是的，謝謝芥永，確實不行篡殷。”就在我開始絕望的時候恤左，她的臉羞紅了贴唇。

正因為羞澀最適于人們用來應(yīng)對自己面對誘惑時的模棱兩可，所以經(jīng)常被援引解釋欲望之所以缺少明顯表征的原因飞袋。面對心上人模棱兩可的信號，沒有什么比把這不予應(yīng)允理解為羞澀——渴望在心链患，但口難開——更好的解釋了巧鸭。羞澀暴露了一個耽于幻想的心靈，因為誰的行為舉止中又總有羞澀的痕跡呢麻捻？僅只借由對方的臉紅纲仍、默不出聲或是局促不安的笑聲確認它的存在，從而希望對方羞澀的誘惑者就永不會失望贸毕，這是傻子都會使用的簡單方法郑叠。它可以讓信號由無到有，能夠?qū)⒎穸ㄗ優(yōu)榭隙ㄏ绺铮踔帘砻鳎子谛邼娜吮茸孕诺娜说挠鼮閺娏遥鋸娏页潭瓤梢酝ㄟ^表情的難易程度來驗證沸版。

16.Faced with ambiguous signals, what better explanation than shyness: the beloved desires, but is too shy to say so. The seducer who wishes to call his victim shy will never be disappointed.

'My God, I've just forgotten something terrible,' said Chloe, offering an alternative explanation for a red face, 'I was supposed to call the printer this afternoon. I can't believe I forgot to do that. I'm losing my head.'

The lover offered sympathy.

'But look, about dinner, we'll have to do it another time. I'd love that, I really would. It's just difficult at the moment, but I'll give my diary another look and call you tomorrow, I promise I will, and maybe we can fix something up for before this weekend.'

“天哪嘁傀，我忘了重要的事情，”克洛艾說视粮，從而給她的臉紅以另外一個解釋细办，

“我今天下午應(yīng)該給印刷商打電話的。該死蕾殴，我簡直不相信我竟然忘了笑撞。我都昏頭了〉鼍酰”

仰慕者表示了同情娃殖。

“至于晚飯，你看议谷，我們得另找一個時間了炉爆。我很樂意，真的卧晓。但現(xiàn)在確實不行芬首，讓我再看看記事本，明天給你電話逼裆，我保證郁稍。也許周末之前我們就能見面了∈び睿”