Loneliness itself is a messy and difficult concept. And in the 4th industrial revolution age, in this 21st century, loneliness becomes the epidemic topic for human beings. There are enormous people in the world feel painfully lonely.
孤獨(dú)本身是一個(gè)沉重而又難以回答的概念噩咪。很多哲學(xué)家們用盡一生的時(shí)間去體會并試著解讀孤獨(dú)袍睡。我們現(xiàn)在生活在第四次工業(yè)革命的時(shí)代芽卿，孤獨(dú)反而成了人類的一個(gè)史詩性難題在塔，因?yàn)槲覀儽纫酝几械礁庸陋?dú)。
We put the intimate romantic love on the special pedestal and undervalue companionship. Our intuition told us that we can only truly get rid of loneliness when we found romantic love. However, Alain de Botton said that it’s only when we value companionship at that level that we can choose a person for their merits instead of simply considering being in a relationship is going to cure us of some loneliness. But the fact is romantic relationship is not the pill of cure. We can be just as lonely in an intimate relationship. And we can be just as happy and fulfilled with a companion with someone that we share those amazing connected moments of life with as we can in an intimate relationship.
我們常常認(rèn)為愛情是最特別又必要的存在会前，而其他形式的陪伴都比不上愛情的力量好乐。我們的直覺告訴我們，我們只有找到真愛才能擺脫令人困擾的孤獨(dú)瓦宜。這樣的場面似乎就是電影電視以及現(xiàn)在的文學(xué)作品想要傳達(dá)的：愛是一切痛苦的解藥曹宴。但Alain de Botton (英國哲學(xué)家）說這種幸福婚姻的概念大概只能回溯到18世紀(jì)中期歉提。在此之前的人類社會，婚姻只是為樂繁衍后代而產(chǎn)生的人類行為区转。18世紀(jì)的思想家發(fā)明了浪漫主義思想苔巨，而我們，也都將這浪漫主義當(dāng)作人類的最本質(zhì)废离，最崇高的追求侄泽。但現(xiàn)實(shí)是，真愛不一定會讓我們感到幸福蜻韭，也不一定會讓我們擺脫孤獨(dú)悼尾。只有當(dāng)我們選擇一個(gè)人，看見他/她內(nèi)心和思想上的閃光點(diǎn)肖方，我們能在這樣的陪伴關(guān)系中暫時(shí)擺脫孤獨(dú)闺魏，而不是盲目地追求那膚淺的親密關(guān)系。在有質(zhì)量的陪伴關(guān)系中俯画，我們能和一些人產(chǎn)生碰撞的瞬間析桥，靈魂相遇的時(shí)刻。在我們生命中的這些時(shí)刻幫助我們暫時(shí)擺脫了孤獨(dú)的困苦。
If we think we are lonely, then we subjectively are.
當(dāng)我們認(rèn)為我們孤單時(shí)泡仗，那我們真的便孤單了
There is a certain type of loneliness is not feeling being understood, or being accepted. It doesn’t always have to come from a friend or a companion. So to explore the world is not about new and interesting things, it is about the exploration of being understood. The exploration is about we are not alone and there will always have some group of people who think and feel just like us. We explore the world in certain ways for meeting understanding and being accepted. We go to certain events or just search online, reading and watching certain things about what resonates us. Just like recently I read Schopenhauer, I feel less lonely, and I also feel being recognized that someone who’s brain behave just like me, then I can escape from a cerebral starvation.
有一種孤單是不被理解的孤單埋虹。這種孤單存在于我們的內(nèi)心深處，令我們感到有時(shí)候即使有愛人和朋友的陪伴娩怎，我們依然孤獨(dú)和寂寞著搔课。所以我們拼命地探索世界，不停下腳步地去追求新鮮和刺激感截亦。這些追求和尋找從本質(zhì)上來說爬泥，只是為了尋找那種被理解和認(rèn)同的感覺，去探索我們在這個(gè)世界上活著并不孤獨(dú)魁巩，去尋找那些和我們一樣的大腦急灭，去接觸和我們有相同感受的人們。我們探索這個(gè)世界是按照我們的意愿在進(jìn)行谷遂，其實(shí)并不是隨機(jī)事件葬馋。我們在網(wǎng)絡(luò)上看到的文章和視頻，都是按照我們的意愿在發(fā)生肾扰，而這個(gè)意愿本身是為了消除那讓人空洞的寂寞畴嘶。就像我最近又重讀叔本華的哲學(xué)，我感到一股暖流淌進(jìn)我的大腦集晚，我感到了被這個(gè)世界認(rèn)同和接受窗悯，因?yàn)檫€有這樣的哲學(xué)家和我擁有相同的大腦。而我也從思想的貧瘠中被解放了出來偷拔。
But also, there is a painful feeling like we don’t belong, it feels like there is a great party in life and in this world going on and I am not invited, and that creates the fear of missing out. This is what cultural influence does. People don’t want to be missed out. But, there is some life going on that we don’t have access to, we looking at the major things happened online and we feel lonely because we know we are not going to have that kind of life. This is a suffering of mercy from this highly developed world. But, most of us overvalue the party and what is going on outside of us. Just like we overvalue the benefits of an intimate relationship, or overvalue something that we can only see through from superficial facts. However, we can also go to any situation in our life, because our life is just like others. When we look at others, others are looking at us. The only thing we can do about this is to change the way we thought. We can wake up and saying that “where’s the party?”. Or, we can also wake up and saying that: “I am the party.”
還有一種孤獨(dú)是不屬于哪里蒋院。就像這個(gè)世界上所有人都參加了一場盛大的派對，而唯獨(dú)只有我們沒有拿到邀請卡莲绰。這種孤獨(dú)來自于被剩下的恐懼欺旧。社會主流文化帶給我們的也就是這種被剩下的恐懼。好像每一個(gè)女生都應(yīng)該像小紅書里面的網(wǎng)紅那樣精致蛤签，每一個(gè)男生都應(yīng)該像電視里的那樣成功辞友，每一個(gè)人都應(yīng)該熱愛旅游，每一個(gè)人都應(yīng)該有一個(gè)寵物震肮。女生都應(yīng)該去做瑜伽称龙，男生都應(yīng)該去練體育。當(dāng)我們翻開instagram或Facebook戳晌，我們情不自禁地去羨慕那些在沙灘上曬太陽鲫尊，在派對上狂歡，在雪山頂爬山的人們沦偎，還有相愛著熱情擁吻的人們马昨，那樣的生活是我們所不能企及的竞帽，我們好像感到全世界只有我們被剩下了。但鸿捧，生命本身就是一場苦難屹篓，一場帶著憐憫的苦難。我們大部分人都期望著別人能給我們帶來快樂匙奴，而從沒想過自己才能讓自己快樂堆巧。叔本華說，自己讓自己快樂是一件很難的事泼菌，但要別人讓自己快樂那就是不可能谍肤。我們太過于低估了自己，而又太高估了那些虛浮的幻境哗伯。擺脫這樣的孤獨(dú)荒揣，我們能夠做的唯一一件事，就是換個(gè)角度來看世界焊刹。比如明天早上醒來系任，與其問：“派對在哪里？”虐块，不如對自己說：“我在哪里派對就在哪里俩滥。”
We are so easy to overvalue someone else’s influence in our life. Such as this party is going to be great because someone is coming…..We completely overvalue what others bring to the table and we undervalue what we can bring to the table if we took our personal responsibility for having a good time. But it is hard, it starts with personal responsibility and an understanding that we’re enough on our own. We don’t need someone else to be the party, that we are enough on our own and our actions matter. Somehow, loneliness is synonymous with worthlessness.
我們總是高估了他人對我們生命中留下的痕跡贺奠。但要讓自己快樂真的很難霜旧，因?yàn)槭紫龋覀円蔀橐粋€(gè)獨(dú)立的人儡率，擁有完整的人格和信念挂据，足夠了解自己，能夠?yàn)樽约旱那榫w負(fù)責(zé)儿普。我們其實(shí)根本不需要去那些其他人的派對崎逃，我們只需要自己便已足夠。在這個(gè)層面上箕肃，孤獨(dú)是價(jià)值感誕生的起點(diǎn)。
OUR ACTIONS MATTER! And that could change someone’s day. The most modest things that you do that you believe you have no lasting impact on the world can fundamentally impact on someone else, and it will go on to affect all impact to all sorts of other people that you even couldn’t imagine your actions would have an effect on.
因?yàn)楣陋?dú)今魔，我們的行為便尤為重要勺像。因?yàn)楣陋?dú)，我們的思想可能會改變一個(gè)人一時(shí)的情緒错森，可能會改變一些人一生的想法吟宦。因?yàn)槲覀冊诠陋?dú)中思考，在思考中前行涩维，在前行時(shí)影響了他人殃姓。我們有時(shí)候并沒有覺得自己做了什么了不起的事袁波，但有可能因?yàn)橐粓鰧υ挘粋€(gè)對思想領(lǐng)域的探索蜗侈，便改變了很多人對孤獨(dú)的看法篷牌。
We practice forgetting and losing connection every single day. Our strives are the mercy of suffering, and such suffering has neither points and ends. But our action and thoughts matter. We do belong, not the grand party that we look from a far distance, but our own party. The life journey is a process of finding a sense of worthiness that no one can take away.
每時(shí)每刻，我們都在遭受遺忘和被遺忘的痛苦踏幻，我們都在為過去生命中出現(xiàn)的人和事兒感到傷懷枷颊。我們感到孤獨(dú)，感到不被理解该面，感到被剩下夭苗，感覺遺憾與失落，為失去的和逝去的默哀隔缀。但生命是一場痛苦的旅行题造，在這樣孤獨(dú)的痛苦中，我們找到了自己的價(jià)值猾瘸。
