前兩周去了趟英國。除到倫敦外，主要還是送小孩去Marlborough Summer School【注1】曹抬，上英文、野外求生等課程急鳄；由于凱特王妃畢業(yè)于此谤民，該學(xué)院也被戲稱為皇家入門基地。
學(xué)院同時(shí)貼心的提供成人課程疾宏，給我們這種陪公主讀書的孝子父母進(jìn)步空間张足；于是報(bào)了個(gè) An Introduction of Creative Writing，英國創(chuàng)意文學(xué)寫作的入門班坎藐。
不是裝B啊为牍，因?yàn)轭I(lǐng)導(dǎo)老婆大人已選了English as a Foreign Language不準(zhǔn)我跟她同班哼绑，而這已是其它英文類最入門的課程…跟碰到的老外解釋不下5遍，回應(yīng)都是“you are brave” 真勇敢碉咆。
蛤抖韩？課程介紹不是說啥都不用準(zhǔn)備，只要會(huì)寫英文?
第一天上課老師給每人發(fā)巧克力疫铜；然后馬上臨場(chǎng)發(fā)揮茂浮，30分鐘內(nèi)寫下對(duì)巧克力的感覺，朗誦后老師及同學(xué)點(diǎn)評(píng)壳咕；一早上就有2-4個(gè)這種練習(xí)席揽。
怪不得英國佬講“brave”時(shí)都用憐憫眼神看我；寫作谓厘，尤其是英國文學(xué)寫作幌羞，跟日常會(huì)話完全倆回事；所以同學(xué)念他/她們文章時(shí)竟稳，就算沒英國腔我也80%聽不懂新翎；何況同班全是退休的本地爺爺奶奶，non-native只我一個(gè)住练；老師更是教莎士比亞與劇場(chǎng)出身的地啰。
艾瑪入坑了。
遇到問題就該召喚圣器【注2】
首先厘清概念：這門課叫Creative Writing讲逛，創(chuàng)意比重占50%以上亏吝；
方法論：聽懂考題，產(chǎn)生創(chuàng)意盏混，然后快速寫出來蔚鸥；
對(duì)于踐行方法，還好老師講考題還不太裝B许赃，能聽懂止喷；所以關(guān)鍵問題是時(shí)間緊不足以好好修改句子文法；既然我的writing弱混聊，那就加強(qiáng)創(chuàng)意不管文法弹谁，先取50分；寫到大家聽懂就60分了句喜，有空再修句子预愤。
價(jià)值觀：先求有，再求好咳胃；
觀念串聯(lián)：用既有生活經(jīng)驗(yàn)及google大法串聯(lián)創(chuàng)意植康，目標(biāo)出人意表。
第二天的踐行結(jié)果就是上周發(fā)布的文章”蘑菇”展懈。老師同學(xué)都喜歡销睁，只問說為何增加難度轉(zhuǎn)換性別供璧；殊不知英國那會(huì)我天天下廚，窗外有花跟蜜蜂﹑煮的就是蘑菇冻记，不寫得跟現(xiàn)實(shí)偏離點(diǎn)嗜傅，老婆大人當(dāng)真怎么辦？
話說英國蘑菇還真心好吃啊檩赢。
后一天的題目是：
找歷史上或虛構(gòu)的三個(gè)人來聚在Summer School里聊天
同學(xué)們選的有牛頓﹑亨利5世﹑哈利波特等英國相關(guān)人物，這時(shí)我的非本地化﹑讀書積累及Google能力就有優(yōu)勢(shì)了【注3】：
丘吉爾拿著雪茄跟酒漫步在學(xué)校里违寞，突然發(fā)現(xiàn)在下午茶的長桌旁有倆人在爭(zhēng)執(zhí)贞瞒；
川普：you are fired!! (川普名句) 講英文！我聽不懂任何外國鳥語趁曼！
凱撒：笨蛋军浆！這是拉丁文 “ 我見﹑我來﹑我征服 ” (凱撒名句)
川普：你講的是英文嗎？我還是聽不懂挡闰！
丘吉爾：永不屈服乒融，永遠(yuǎn)！(丘吉爾名句) 確實(shí)這位紳士的話比較深?yuàn)W摄悯，需用心聆聽(諷刺川普不聽人說話)赞季。您好，我是丘吉爾奢驯。
川普：我就是川普申钩，富有又性感。
凱撒：我是羅馬第一公民凱撒瘪阁。等等撒遣，川普你很有錢嗎？
川普：現(xiàn)擁有美國政府管跺，將來會(huì)擁有美國所有房地產(chǎn)义黎，你說我有不有錢？
凱撒：借些金幣吧豁跑，我會(huì)是你最好的投資廉涕。丘吉爾，也借我些艇拍？（凱撒以負(fù)債出名）
丘吉爾：除了鮮血﹑勞力﹑眼淚及汗水外我一無所有(丘吉爾名句)火的；你要借那樣？
講到這邊課堂上大笑淑倾。
除上述的兩篇外馏鹤，其他練習(xí)用上了遺產(chǎn)爭(zhēng)奪﹑同性戀﹑近親三角戀﹑車禍﹑自閉癥﹑日本戰(zhàn)國史等元素，反正怎么沖突怎么來娇哆。那天午餐時(shí)同學(xué)評(píng)價(jià)：Creative but zero English湃累，有創(chuàng)意, 英文夠爛; 也算目標(biāo)達(dá)成吧勃救。
但到周五能用的狗血?jiǎng)?chuàng)意差不多用光，嗟乎治力！韓劇慢魚才盡于此矣蒙秒。
最后題目改編名著結(jié)局
看著其他人忙著改哈姆雷特﹑海明威﹑圣經(jīng)，我則一心想用高大上的名著寫入流的英文句子宵统，屢屢修改遭遇困境晕讲；拖到最后只剩30分還沒動(dòng)筆，難道要放棄马澈？老師一句話點(diǎn)醒我“可以改童話故事”【注4】：
幸好天上掉餡餅瓢省，這磚房里就有三只小豬；只要我攻進(jìn)去就能帶培根回家痊班。
雖然已吹倒兩棟房子勤婚，但這磚房很堅(jiān)固也沒窗戶，不容易涤伐。
等等馒胆，屋頂上那是煙囪嗎？可以從那進(jìn)啊凝果。（往煙囪里下看）
有蒸氣祝迂！這些紅燒肉，想用熱水燙死我器净？以為不會(huì)被發(fā)覺嗎液兽？
但由煙囪爬下去就躲不掉大鍋，這些食物還真能思考啊掌动。
怎么辦四啰？孩子們已經(jīng)三天沒吃飯了，不能放棄粗恢。
得丟些東西下去弄壞這鍋柑晒，屋頂上什么都沒有，貌似能丟的只有我自己眷射。
也許水沒那么熱匙赞？也許我能馬上跳出來？
天越來越暗妖碉，孩子們已經(jīng)三天沒吃飯了涌庭，而我也很餓。
既然身體是唯一能丟的東西欧宜，那就跳吧坐榆！為了小孩，值得搏命一試冗茸。
然而結(jié)局仍沒有改變席镀，一個(gè)父親死了匹中。后來孩子們呢？是不是都活下來了豪诲？誰知道?
換個(gè)視角顶捷，喜劇就成了悲劇屎篱；下課后同學(xué)特別過來說 “You are the best!!”
故事框架花二十分鐘構(gòu)思服赎，一設(shè)定完就不管文法往下走，結(jié)局是自己跑出來的交播；
想是把自己父親的身份代入了重虑。不惜血本把小孩送英國送國際學(xué)校，也是希望能增加競(jìng)爭(zhēng)力堪侯，避免將來餓肚子；其實(shí)我就是故事里的大野狼啊荔仁。
加爾韋在“身心合一的奇跡力量”里說人有兩個(gè)自我伍宦，頭腦和意識(shí)層面的自我1﹑及身體和潛意識(shí)層面的自我2。通常人由自我1主導(dǎo)乏梁，頭腦是主人次洼，會(huì)對(duì)你的行為下對(duì)錯(cuò)判斷，造成身體緊張表現(xiàn)受限遇骑；只有交給自我2由潛意識(shí)主導(dǎo)卖毁，才能越過對(duì)錯(cuò)，超常發(fā)揮落萎。
肯定那時(shí)兩個(gè)自我合作了亥啦。本來我只是慢魚，越來越知道自己不足练链；結(jié)果透過寫作時(shí)的壓力逼出只大野狼翔脱，跑來主導(dǎo)并使我超常發(fā)揮。
You are the best媒鼓，慢魚跟大野狼届吁；以后還請(qǐng)?jiān)诟鞣矫娑喽嗪献鳎?/p>
最后提供短篇故事寫作要領(lǐng)，教莎士比亞的英國老師直傳哦绿鸣！
Some comments on the short story as a genre
對(duì)于一些以日常情景為主題的短篇故事的建議：
The aim of a short story is to achieve a single concentrated impression, so it must move swiftly; it cannot afford to pause to describe the dull and uneventful time through which the reader actually experience time.
因?yàn)槎唐适碌哪康氖窃斐蓡我坏木毋濉?qiáng)烈的印象，所以整體節(jié)奏要移動(dòng)的很快潮模；不能讓讀者卡在無趣亮蛔、無變化的敘述上。
Short stories usually focus on one action or event. It may be ordinary event highlighted by the writer to depict the nature of ordinary life or it may depict a crisis which interrupts ordinary life, leaving everything changed.
通常短篇故事聚焦在單一情節(jié)或事件擎厢；也許透過描述日常生活的性質(zhì)來突出尋常的事件尔邓、也許刻畫災(zāi)難阻斷了原本生活而產(chǎn)生的改變晾剖。
Where the author aims to depict the daily round, s/he frames the chosen event by selecting it and inviting the reader to share in what s/he has noticed. A short story of crisis however, deals with an event which by its nature is out of the ordinary and the writer’s telling of the story must evoke the special nature of the central character’s situation.
描寫日常生活短篇時(shí)，先遴選一些事件進(jìn)行刻畫梯嗽，分享其發(fā)現(xiàn)或關(guān)注點(diǎn)給讀者齿尽；當(dāng)描寫災(zāi)難短篇時(shí)，則需了解事件里一些異乎尋常的性質(zhì)灯节，并在對(duì)主要情境敘事中喚醒這些特殊性質(zhì)循头。
The nature of the story as “ordinary” or “special” in its essence will influence such important aspects as point of view, characterization, mood and style.
這些關(guān)于“日常”或“特殊”故事里的性質(zhì)炎疆，其精華本質(zhì)將影響故事呈現(xiàn)的輪廓卡骂，如觀點(diǎn)、特性形入、氛圍或風(fēng)格全跨。
Short stories often show rather than tell and they may require the reader to respond to the writer’s hints rather than offering detailed explanations. Characterization, for instance, often works by implication rather than detailed description.
在短篇故事中，通常展現(xiàn)比敘述好亿遂；也就是留線索讓讀者發(fā)現(xiàn)比提供細(xì)節(jié)解釋好浓若。特性描述、類比舉例蛇数，都比敘述細(xì)節(jié)好挪钓。
The sort story often aims to provide the reader with a moment of insight of “epiphany”. It may convey a moral message.
短篇故事通常目的是讓讀者“煥然大悟”；也許是透過寓意傳達(dá)耳舅。
The sort story often contains a “twist” even though it has been signposted.
就算是已經(jīng)明白指路給讀者碌上，但短篇小說通常仍需設(shè)定迂回糾結(jié)處（我想是設(shè)關(guān)卡讓讀者思考通關(guān)吧）
Beginnings and ending are particularly important in the short story. Beginnings often suggest a great deal in a few words. Ending must be carefully contrived in order not to seem contrived.
開頭結(jié)尾對(duì)于短篇故事特別重要。建議開頭切題簡(jiǎn)潔浦徊，結(jié)尾不要看起來刻意做作馏予。
我是慢魚愛立刻，寫作一點(diǎn)點(diǎn)的踐行學(xué)徒盔性；期待建構(gòu)有愛的智能世界吗蚌，希望有您參與。
如果文章對(duì)您有用纯出，還請(qǐng)留言批判蚯妇、或轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)傳播。感激不盡暂筝。
注1：學(xué)校網(wǎng)址http://www.marlboroughcollege.org/
注2：請(qǐng)參見我前作“死神的圣器”一文
注3:? 原文
One man took his wine and cigar roaming on the course of summer school. He figured out there were 2 men arguing beside the long table, so he walked to them.
2nd man: You are fired! Speaking in English, I don’t understand any god damn foreign language!
3rd man: Fool, the term means “I see, I come, I conquer.”
2nd man: are you speaking in English? Why can’t I understand still?
1st man: Never give in, never, never, never. Indeed the gentleman’s announcement is hard, only you can get by listening with heart. I am Spencer Churchill, nice to meet you.
Donald: I am Donald, rich and sexy.
Churchill: and you Mr.?
Caesar: I was the first citizen of Rome, Caesar. Wait a second; did you say you are rich? Donald?
Donald is proud: Absolutely, I own the United States government now, and I will own all American estates one day.
Caesar: Great, could you lend me some gold? I will be your best investment. And you Spencer, could you lend me some?
Churchill: I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. Which one do you want?
Donald: What are those? Are those good investments?
注4：原文
My kids have been no food 3 days.
Currently I am standing in front of a brick house where 3 pigs inside, certainly a gift from above.
Only I need is looking for a way to fetch those bacons.
It did not work to huff, although I was successful twice.
There is no window but a locked firm door. How can I get in?
Wait, a chimney is on roof where I can get in. Let me do it.
(Looking down by chimney)
What is this? A cauldron with hot water? Sneakly fool bacons, are you expecting I would not aware the steam in chimney?
But it’s really a good idea; certainly I will fall into the cauldron getting in chimney.
The foods can think, I thought.
How should I do? My kids have no food 3 days, I can’t give up.
I should drop something to destroy the cauldron, but there is nothing on roof, my body is the only thing to drop.
Might the water is not so heat? Might I quickly jump out? The sky is coming darker and darker, my kids have no food 3 days, and I am hungry too.
Since my body is the only thing to drop, I will jump. For my kids, I have to try.
But the ending did not change. A father died. No one know how’s going about the 4 baby wolves; they might alive or starve, who knows?
