2017.7.18
Habit 4: Think Win/Win
Words
1. intrinsic[?n?tr?ns?k]
No recognition is given to intrisic value; everyone is extrinsically defined.
being an extremely important and basic characteristic of a person or thing 固有的，本質(zhì)的，根本的 ? OPP ?extrinsic:
例：the intrinsic interest of the subject
intrinsic nature/quality/value/property of something
例：There is nothing in the intrinsic nature of the work that makes it more suitable for women.
造句：Being integrity is instrinsic to Win/Win paradigm.
2.coast
What this kind of comperative information doesn't tell you is that perhaps Johnny is going on all eight cylinders while Caroline is coasting on four of her eight.
to be successful at something without much effort:
?例：They scored three goals in the first half and from then on United were coasting.
造句：
3.cylindr[?s?l?nd?r]
working / firing on all 'cylinders
?(informal) using all your energy to do sth; working as well as possible
? 竭盡全力由捎；盡力干好；開足馬力
4.viable/?va??b?l/
Most situations, in fact, are part of an interdependent reality, and then win/win is really the only viable alternative of the five.
a viable idea, plan, or method can work successfully
viable alternative/proposition/option etc
例：The committee came forward with one viable solution.
economically/commercially/financially viable
例：Will a hotel here be financially viable?
造句：We should bring out a viable medthod to tackle the problem
5.take somebody to the cleaner’s
But they saw that position as being soft and weak, and they took us to the cleaners.
a. to defeat someone completely:
例：The Lakers took the Bulls to the cleaner’s, winning 96–72.
b. to cheat someone and take all their money or possessions
6.hammer out
So that's work for a Win/Win. Let's really hammer it out.
hammer something out phrasal verb (see also hammer)
to decide on an agreement, contract etc after a lot of discussion and disagreement:
例：Leading oil producers tried to hammer out a deal.
造句： A new deal was hammered out between the two banks.
Expressions
1. Grades are carriers of social value, they open doors of opportunity or they close them.
2. Although they might verbally express happiness for others' success, inwardly they are eating their hearts out(to be jealous ).
Thoughts
1.Lose/Win
有關(guān)lose/win的概念自己特別有感觸割去，在于他人打交道的過程中，為了盡可能避免沖突我經(jīng)常采取這種方式昼丑，對他人觀點(diǎn)進(jìn)行妥協(xié)呻逆。
我還覺得這是個好習(xí)慣，因?yàn)樽约捍蠖绕械邸５珜?shí)際上這完全是沒有原則咖城，而且一定程度上是在偷懶，不思考呼奢！
Lose/Win is worse than Win/Lose becasue it has no standard- no demands, no expectations, no vision.
另外一個深層次的原因宜雀，其實(shí)是怕遭到他人的否定，把自己的價值建立在他人對自己的評價之上握础。
They seek strength from popolarity or acceptance. They have little courage to express their own feelings and convictions and are easily intimidated by the ego strength of others.
但到頭來辐董，自己心里可能并不服氣。自己不發(fā)言還覺得別人說的也不過如此禀综。這種情緒一直積累简烘，直到有一天可能完全爆發(fā)，變成lose/lose定枷。我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己這種lose/win的情況只針對和自己不熟的人孤澎，而熟悉親近的人我則想什么說什么，肆無忌憚欠窒。這可能也是這種不良情緒積累導(dǎo)致的覆旭。
But the problem is that Lose/Win people bury a lot of feelings. And unexpressed feelings never die: they're buried alive and come come forth later in unglier way.
所以，以后再遇到有不同的意見時贱迟，應(yīng)該大膽的提出自己的想法姐扮，而不是還沒開始就以妥協(xié)結(jié)束。如果雙方都不法接受彼此的觀點(diǎn)衣吠，我們還可以用Win/Win-No deal的法則茶敏，爭取找到一個彼此都能接受的結(jié)果。
2.abundance metality
這是Win-Win 所需要具有的五個特質(zhì)之一character里的一條缚俏。這一部分讓我李笑來老師在得到專欄里說過的惊搏，“有些人就是見不得別人的好”，當(dāng)時看完也覺得重重的敲了自己一棒忧换。我就是會不自覺的拿別人和自己比恬惯，直到找到一個自己能勝出的點(diǎn)才罷休。
這其實(shí)也是不自信的表現(xiàn)亚茬，也是缺乏proactive attitude酪耳，將自己的價值綁定在和他人的比較上。
Their sense of worth comes from being compared, and someone else's success, to some degree, means their failure.
They're always comparing, always competing, they give their energies to possessing things or other people in order to increase their sense of worth.
如果是自己有這個問題，我們應(yīng)該轉(zhuǎn)移注意力碗暗，這種無謂的比較只是浪費(fèi)時間颈将。我們應(yīng)該專注的自己的成長，所以真正應(yīng)該比較的是以前的自己言疗，看看還有哪里有進(jìn)步的空間晴圾。
The abundace mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare or everybody.
而如果是周圍有人總和你比較，也不需要理會噪奄，因?yàn)樗倳谀闵砩险乙粋€不如他的點(diǎn)死姚，直到找到了才罷休，所以勤篮，你永遠(yuǎn)都比他“差”都毒。明白這一點(diǎn)也就無需要把這種比較掛在心上了。
